Tuesday, May 03, 2011
I weighed in today. I gained 0.4 pounds. I would like to know how the fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff that happened? I almost started to cry. I was so upset. It just goes to prove, that no matter what I do, I can't lose weight.
I have tried every variation of everything I can think of. I have added calories, subtracted calories, worked out more, worked out less, added carbs, took out carbs, upped protein... everything I can possibly think of, and I get no where.
I have gone to the doctor, and I have gotten no where. She tested my thyroid and it came back fine. She basically told me that I don't have a medical issue, I am just fat and I need to stop eating.
I go to the gym at least three times a week. Each gym session burns between 450-550 calories depending on what I decide to do that day. I always do a minimum of 20 mins on the elliptical. Sometimes, I go with a different variation of the elliptical, or I use the recumbent bike. Sometimes I go to the gym more often, but it is at least three times a week. Everyone says incorporate strength training. I have and once again, have not gotten anywhere. So, I tried just cardio and that isn't getting me anywhere.
I am so frustrated I just don't know what to do. One last option I have is to be checked for PCOS , which I am sure at one point my gyno said I had, but I could be wrong. I don't remember. If that is the case, there is medication they can give me to help me lose weight. I do not want to take diet pills, however, this isn't a diet pill. It is something to do with my insulin.
I must say, that the fact I gained weight, *almost* set off a binge. I almost went to the Mcdonalds drive thru and gorged on cheeseburgers and fries, but I didn't. I went to the gym. I worked hard at the gym. I felt a lot better.
Sunday, May 01, 2011
Tomorrow is my weigh in day, and I am feeling anxious. I know that I stayed within my ranges for the week. I know I exercised. I did everything I was supposed to do, except for today I didn't drink all of my fluid (talk more about that later)
I am hoping to see another drop. I am not picky. Anything on the negative side will do, but I am hoping for at least a pound.
I am having trouble meeting my fluid intake on days that I do not work. When I am at work, I constantly drink water. Weight Watchers says that anything you drink, regardless of what it is, counts to your fluid intake. I only count water. In addition to my 8/8 everyday, I usually do have a few cups of coffee, and sometimes a glass of diet iced tea or sugar free lemonade. Once in a while I will have a diet soda (coke zero) but I am starting to find, that I really don't drink diet soda that much anymore.
I am also trying to figure out how to incorporate some more strength training into my workout. I am thinking I can go to the weight room three times a week and life some weights, but I really dislike it. Every time I go into the weight room I end up sick. I don't know why that is, but I do. Irregardless, I need to start strength training as much as I despise doing it. I just haven't figured out what I am going to do yet.
I have all of my food figured out for tomorrow already. Everything is made and entered in my tracker. The only thing I have to do tomorrow is eat.
I think that is all for now
Thursday, April 28, 2011
I really have the munchies tonight. I want to snack snack and snack some more!
Ohh, and there is coffee cake here at work. I love coffee cake
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
I think we all have the same fear of failing. There are so many highs and lows on this journey that I think it is considered normal to have those fears. We all have days when we eat awesome, and kick butt at the gym and then we all have those days where our eating (for lack of a better term) sucks and we sit on the couch all day and watch tv.
I sometimes fear that I am going to fail. I work hard, but there is still a part of me that feels like I am not going to be able to do it. Sometimes I feel like food is going to win. I wish I didn't have this continuous struggle. I wish I didn't turn to food for every single thing in my life!
All of my co-workers know that I am watching my food intake. I mean, when they are constantly shoving Mcdonalds and other junk food at me, I have to tell them something when refuse them. What I fear the most is not accomplishing anything. They all know I am watching my food, they all know that I am going to the gym, and what happens if I don't get results? Then what? I look like I failed, and I look like I can't accomplish anything.
Then I have the co-worker who constantly says "are you eating AGAIN?" - And you know what he is thinking "No wonder she is a fat hog, alls she does it eat" maybe that is true, or maybe it isn't. Part of me wants to punch him in the face, but the other part of me doesn't even value what he thinks of me or anything for that matter. I know that even though I am "always eating" I know that my lunch bag is full of healthy food. I know that I work out hard at the gym. I also know that it is because of people like him I have destroyed my body. I know because of people constantly ridiculing my weight, I have taken every diet pill known to man, starved myself, binged and purged and purged some more until I was seeing stars from the strain of vomiting.
I have been doing awesome these past few weeks. I know that Weight Watchers is really helping me. I FINALLY lost 2.2 pounds! After months and months I finally lost weight! Now, it wasn't that big of a loss, but it was a loss, and I was really happy!
I am trying to tweak my program just a little. I have decided this week, I am going to use some of my "flex points" in order to eat a little more food each day. I won't be using these points for junk food, but rather for good, wholesome foods. I used 2 flex points today for a glass of skim milk. Then I was really hungry, so I had a 6 inch sub from subway and that cost me 8 points. Now, I may not eat all of the stuff I brought with me, so in the end we will see how it balances out.
I do honestly feel like I have been on a binge because of all of the food I have eaten today!
2 eggs over easy
3 pieces of turkey bacon
2 slices of whole wheat toast
coffee w/ fat free half and half
1/2 cup of mango
total cost = 10 points
2 oz turkey
2 slices of whole wheat toast
total cost = 5 points
6 ounces of chill lime talapia
3/4 cup of whole grain veggie rice
medium sized tossed salad
fat free balsamic dressing
total cost = 8 points
cottage cheese w/ pineapple
reduced fat triscuts w/ laughing cow cheese
weight watchers snack cake
6 inch subway club
and I think that is it. But that is a lot of food, and I am chowing down on all of that and losing weight. How awesome?
Well, I haven't ate all of that quite yet, but I am planning on it. I am still well within what I am allotted.
I think that is all for now
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