Tuesday, May 03, 2011
Every month, our HR department at work gives out a little newsletter titled HR Highlights. Usually there are little articles and anniversaries. This moths article is entitled ARE YOU A FOOD ADDICT and reading over the criteria, I fit all of them. So, I guess I am addicted to food.
I associate food with all types of emotions. I eat when I am happy as a celebration, I eat when I am sad as a comfort, I eat when I have nothing better to do. I eat and eat some more.
I am trying very hard to break this obsession, but it is really hard. It makes it very difficult when I have to track food. The more I track, the more obsessed I become, sometimes tracking days in advance and planning every point (weight watchers) to a T.
Sometimes it is like all of this obsessing is my hobby. You know how some people knit, some people sew or scrap book? Well, I track food. I think it is more than that though. Like I said, it is an obsession bordering on OCD.
The sad part about it is all this obsessing and all of this tracking get me nowhere.
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
I weighed in today. I gained 0.4 pounds. I would like to know how the fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff that happened? I almost started to cry. I was so upset. It just goes to prove, that no matter what I do, I can't lose weight.
I have tried every variation of everything I can think of. I have added calories, subtracted calories, worked out more, worked out less, added carbs, took out carbs, upped protein... everything I can possibly think of, and I get no where.
I have gone to the doctor, and I have gotten no where. She tested my thyroid and it came back fine. She basically told me that I don't have a medical issue, I am just fat and I need to stop eating.
I go to the gym at least three times a week. Each gym session burns between 450-550 calories depending on what I decide to do that day. I always do a minimum of 20 mins on the elliptical. Sometimes, I go with a different variation of the elliptical, or I use the recumbent bike. Sometimes I go to the gym more often, but it is at least three times a week. Everyone says incorporate strength training. I have and once again, have not gotten anywhere. So, I tried just cardio and that isn't getting me anywhere.
I am so frustrated I just don't know what to do. One last option I have is to be checked for PCOS , which I am sure at one point my gyno said I had, but I could be wrong. I don't remember. If that is the case, there is medication they can give me to help me lose weight. I do not want to take diet pills, however, this isn't a diet pill. It is something to do with my insulin.
I must say, that the fact I gained weight, *almost* set off a binge. I almost went to the Mcdonalds drive thru and gorged on cheeseburgers and fries, but I didn't. I went to the gym. I worked hard at the gym. I felt a lot better.
Sunday, May 01, 2011
Tomorrow is my weigh in day, and I am feeling anxious. I know that I stayed within my ranges for the week. I know I exercised. I did everything I was supposed to do, except for today I didn't drink all of my fluid (talk more about that later)
I am hoping to see another drop. I am not picky. Anything on the negative side will do, but I am hoping for at least a pound.
I am having trouble meeting my fluid intake on days that I do not work. When I am at work, I constantly drink water. Weight Watchers says that anything you drink, regardless of what it is, counts to your fluid intake. I only count water. In addition to my 8/8 everyday, I usually do have a few cups of coffee, and sometimes a glass of diet iced tea or sugar free lemonade. Once in a while I will have a diet soda (coke zero) but I am starting to find, that I really don't drink diet soda that much anymore.
I am also trying to figure out how to incorporate some more strength training into my workout. I am thinking I can go to the weight room three times a week and life some weights, but I really dislike it. Every time I go into the weight room I end up sick. I don't know why that is, but I do. Irregardless, I need to start strength training as much as I despise doing it. I just haven't figured out what I am going to do yet.
I have all of my food figured out for tomorrow already. Everything is made and entered in my tracker. The only thing I have to do tomorrow is eat.
I think that is all for now
Thursday, April 28, 2011
I really have the munchies tonight. I want to snack snack and snack some more!
Ohh, and there is coffee cake here at work. I love coffee cake
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