CORTNEY-LEE   53,861
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CORTNEY-LEE's Recent Blog Entries

Rest in Peace My Shalori

Sunday, September 22, 2013

September 23, 2013

Today marks 6 years that my friend and my lover Jimmy passed away.

The only thing I have left are a handful of fading memories and an old photo taken of us...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATTYR81 9/24/2013 10:35AM

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CATTUTT 9/23/2013 1:22PM

    It must be a sad day, treat yourself extra well.

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ADZY86 9/23/2013 7:26AM

    emoticon That's a lovely picture. He looks like he was a lot of fun to have around. Cherish the memories.

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LOVINGAFRICA 9/23/2013 6:44AM

    Hugs to you, dear Friend!

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DTSOBEL 9/23/2013 1:14AM

    You should write your memories down before they fade more. Sorry for you loss. emoticon

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2BFREE2LIVE 9/23/2013 12:08AM

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ERIECANALGAL 9/23/2013 12:07AM

    So sorry for your loss. I lost my DH about 4 years ago.

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STEPH-KNEE 9/22/2013 11:41PM

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Snap* - a long blog about food, deserts and personal demons

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Not too much going on.

I have to work all next week again, so I am trying to plan ahead. I am tired of eating pre-packaged crap.

I am going to make a large pot of wedding soup, chicken, slow cooker oatmeal, and I am not sure what else, but I am going back to mostly whole foods. My body is just happier. I also have a few spaghetti squash I am thinking about cooking up. Not quite sure what to do with those. I could cook the chicken in pasta sauce, then eat it over the squash? Maybe I will just have that as a side dish with the chicken?

Either way, working all the time is not an excuse. This is my last week of crazy hours. I only have 4 extra days scheduled in October. I like all of the extra work. I like the money. Now, if I can stop spending it... haha!

Seriously though, I have been feeling a little off center lately. I have not been taking care of myself the way I should, and have been slipping back into some old habits. I won't exactly mention what those old habits are, but suffice to say they do not have to do with eating or junk food or anything like that. These are much more severe than that. I am not sure what I am going to do. I think it really is time to call that counselor and get an appointment and work out some of these issues.

Here is the thing... this is why I am even mentioning it... I am not perfect. I have more than my fair share of bodies in my back yard, skeletons in my closet and demons in my pocket. I have issues. I hide them well, but I still have them. I am human.

Anyway, I made a decedent, unhealthy desert for my co-workers this weekend. I dubbed it "Chocolate Explosion" but my co-worker said that sounded like the title of a bad "adult" movie, so they renamed it F**kn' A.

2 boxes of instant chocolate pudding
3 cups of milk
1 container of thawed cool whip
1 box of chocolate graham crackers
1 container of chocolate frosting

Prepare pudding with cold milk and add the cool whip. Place a layer of graham crackers in the bottom of a 13x9 pan, then add the pudding mixture. Continue to layer so you end up with a layer of graham crackers on top. Place the container of frosting in the microwave for appx 45 seconds. Then pour it over the top layer of graham crackers and spread evenly. Place in the fridge overnight.

Anyway, I am thinking I either need to go buy myself a new Pandora bead or new panties. New panties always make you feel happy!

I hope everyone has a super Sunday!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOVINGAFRICA 9/23/2013 7:57AM

    Don't let the past put a shadow on your beautiful present my Dear Friend!
Get to doing the things that help you cope, and I am happy that you will be on a calmer schedule soon. Half the war is in what we allow ourselves to get our thinking stuck on.
Sending you many hugs and much strength.
Love
Maria

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KATHY391 9/22/2013 4:46PM

    great recipe i cant wait to try it out!
good luck with everything!

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COCK-ROBIN 9/22/2013 4:01PM

    Wonderful!

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CATTUTT 9/22/2013 11:13AM

    Aw I'm sorry to hear you're having some monsters rearing their ugly heads. Going to a counselor sounds like a good idea, especially if your habits are something dangerous. {And since you said they're worse than eating crap, I'm guessing they probably are...} Therapy sucks {as I have mentioned 928457934857 times}, but maybe the support would help you with your demons, and that would make it worth the process of going through it.

I hope you have a good Sunday, and I say buy a bead AND new panties. Panties are the best. But so is jewelry!

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I am a Rock Star! (Photo)

Friday, September 20, 2013

New hair --

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DMEACH05 9/22/2013 6:54PM

    You look amazing!

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ANDYLIN90 9/21/2013 8:37PM

    Yes you are!!

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GOOZLEBEAR 9/21/2013 1:31PM

    That is a great picture!!!

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BILL60 9/21/2013 9:59AM

    Yes you are!!!!!

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BECKY0111 9/21/2013 9:40AM

    So cute!

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LOVINGAFRICA 9/21/2013 6:28AM

    Love it!
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THROOPER62 9/21/2013 5:49AM

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BARCLE 9/21/2013 3:55AM

    Lovely pic emoticon

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IMREITE 9/21/2013 2:41AM

    Rock it!

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LOSE4LIFE47 9/20/2013 11:10PM

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PLATINUM755 9/20/2013 10:47PM

    Go for it! emoticon emoticon

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STEPH-KNEE 9/20/2013 10:47PM

    You look as amazing as ever! LOVE IT! emoticon

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CATTUTT 9/20/2013 10:35PM

    You look amazing! I was just looking through your photos and you don't even look like the same person, it's incredible!

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CLEARNIGHTSKY 9/20/2013 10:01PM

    Pretty lady!!!

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TRYINGHARD54 9/20/2013 9:55PM

    looks great... emoticon

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KAB7801 9/20/2013 9:55PM

    Rock on! emoticon

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CAROL494 9/20/2013 9:53PM

  Great hair style!

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Fitspo Pics - for lack of a better word

Wednesday, September 18, 2013









  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLEARNIGHTSKY 9/20/2013 10:04PM

    love the top one

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REAGANESQUE 9/20/2013 7:02PM

    I am sitting here reading your blog on the train home from a very long day at work. Big smile on my face...especially with looking at the 1st pic. I remember very clearly being told by my boss that he was not comfortable promoting me because I didn't 'have the look' of a leader. Unbelievable.

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BRADMILL2922 9/20/2013 1:30AM

    That first one is great and true!

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PATTYR81 9/19/2013 10:59AM

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BARCONIUS 9/19/2013 8:14AM

    I needed that today. Just awesome!

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LOVINGAFRICA 9/19/2013 12:06AM

    Love it! Especially the first one. Can think of a couple of people like that...

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COCK-ROBIN 9/18/2013 7:09PM

    Wonderful!

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I need to get on the ball...

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Ugh, I have been slacking.

Yesterday I pretty much got sick on everything I ate EXCEPT (now get this) Oreo cookies. I are 2 of them, and they didn't make me sick. WTH?

Anyway, I have been working like a crazy person without days off. When I work like this, I don't have a lot of time to do much of anything, and that included cooking. I have been relying more on processed crap than I should (whoo hoo for Healthy Choice, Lean Cuisine, and Subway) I haven't been to PC Fit yet this week, but will be attending Wednesday's 5:30 am class. I have my gym bag packed and will get ready before I leave for work.

This weekend... ugh. I didn't really eat a lot. That wasn't the issue. I took a break from tracking (which I NEVER do) and it just threw me all out of whack. The problem I found when I didn't plan is I didn't really eat. I don't know what got into me either.

Then... ugh, and I might as well come clean... I snuck behind the shop with the Shop Foreman and... shared a cigarette with him. I haven't smoked in a long long time, and I don't know what got into me, but I shared with him. Honestly, I really haven't had the urge to do it again, but I can't explain it. At all.... It was like a one time thing I guess?

Anyway, I need to put all that $hit behind me and get back to the getting here. I guess we all "stray" at some point, and maybe that is what I needed to help me refocus on what is important. I know the second PC Fit starts, I am going to remember why I do what I do. The rush, the high I get from that is better than any other high I have experienced in my life, and I have a lot of experience being high in various forms. So when I get back to that, it will all be put in check.

My weight is actually the lowest it has even been since I was in a single digit age bracket. It is really strange.

Anyway, I need to get back to the whole foods thing. I am working on it, but right now with working... ugh. I just need to plan better. I have Thursday off, so I need to actually sit down and take the time to plan some more.

Yeah, so that is where I am

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEREMC 9/18/2013 11:01AM

  Cattutt, you will eventually feel the high it is a different more subtle high then some others but once you and your body get used to it you will start craving it. emoticon

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PATTYR81 9/18/2013 10:39AM

    I've found that I do the same kinds of things when I get too tired/stressed/overworked. I think 'I'll just take a little break from **insert healthy practice**', then I go to a past comfort behavior thinking it will make me feel better. And of course, I feel WORSE! HELLO????

That was then, this is now and it's a new day, new start, new plan.

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Happy Day!
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THROOPER62 9/18/2013 5:32AM

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BARCLE 9/18/2013 1:48AM

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DREAMMIIND22 9/17/2013 11:44PM

    Stay Strong! What happened is the past, put it all behind you and get back on board! I know you can do it! emoticon emoticon

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LOVINGAFRICA 9/17/2013 11:33PM

    I know you will be able to figure it out. Perhaps you were really tired and felt that you needed a break, or a break away and had a cigarette.
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Sharing one has less nicotine than you would get from eating a meal in a restaurant in Europe with all the second hand smoke. If you took a real holiday. So don't sweat it!
Enjoy that class, this is a new day.

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BRADMILL2922 9/17/2013 11:24PM

    Yep, put all that stuff behind you and move forward! Good luck with your planning and getting back on track! Hopefully you can feel better without Oreos!

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COCK-ROBIN 9/17/2013 10:09PM

    Go for it. You can do it!

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CATTUTT 9/17/2013 9:51PM

    I fantasize about having another cigarette. I know that if I did, it would all be over for me and I'd be smoking 2 packs a day again. So even thought smoking with someone is not something to be proud of, exactly... be glad you didn't rush out and buy a carton!

I REALLY wish I could get that high from exercise that people talk about. Sounds like it's going to be a great way for you to start your morning!

Good luck getting through tomorrow and making it to your day off!

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