Tuesday, May 24, 2011
It's been four months since I've joined SparkPeople and I'm feeling good about the changes that I see, not only in the mirror, but also within.
Down 3 sizes from an 18/20 to a size 14...Hubba Hubba!
For the last ten years or so I've been in and out of a very toxic relationship that was going nowhere fast. And in September of last year after receiving a wakeup call, i.e. a text from my soon-to-be-ex, I decided that my health, happiness, and well-being were more important than sticking around in a dead end relationship just because I was afraid to not be considered as the second half of a relationship duo. While the text message was the final nail in the coffin there was another underlying factor that brought about the need for change, NOT just in my relationship with him but in my relationship with myself, in a word, a book by Dr. Gilda Carle called Don't Bet on the Prince.
Now those who know me, I mean REALLY know me, will tell you that yes I like to read but I've never been one to read Self-help books. But as last year ground on with no change in my on-again off-again relationship spanning the Fall of 2001 to the Fall of 2010 I realized that I wanted more from my significant other than what he was giving to me or perhaps was capable of giving to me. And so I began looking around at other couples and friends and wondering where had I gone wrong? What wasn't I doing that would or could account for the lack of passion in my life and in my relationship?
Well, one day I was messing around on the internet, reading the Yahoo! Headlines and saw something that said 'Get relationship advice from Dr. Gilda Carle'. I immediately thought, yeah, right! Like I'm going to get advice from some internet doctor who probably isn't really a doctor at all. But being a visual creature I liked her friendly smile and clicked on the link which took me to an excerpt of her book, Don't Bet on the Prince! And as I read through it I found myself agreeing to EVERY point that she was making about our behaviour, as women, and how it applies to our relationships. It was like she was reading a page out of my journal or had been right in the room with me as I went through the last couple of years trying to pursue this ungettable guy. It must have been kismet or fate or whatever that I stumbled across the excerpt because before I knew it I had looked up her book on Amazon, read the reviews, clicked 'Add to Cart', and checked out in less than 30 minutes. Me, the girl who NEVER reads Self-help books or thinks that the problem lies within me but in others.
And, so, now here I am many months later which brings me to the point of this entry on my blog. Last month, while I was at work, (my day job is cleaning houses/night--I attend college for Interior Design) I came across another Self-help book that had a rather intriguing title, Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship by Sherry Argov at our last house of the day.
Now the home owners were out and they're happily married. The book belonged to the girl housesitting for them (yes, they're uber-wealthy). I casually knew the girl as she's also an employee of theirs at their leasing company from whom I rent my townhouse from. And she's a nice girl. She had left the book on the brick hearth of the fireplace along with some of her other stuff and when I saw the title on the cover I was like "Oh, no, she didn't!" But, intrigued, I picked up the book and started flipping through it quickly, lightly reading a passage here and there (yes, I was supposed to be dusting and vacuuming this house which is like the length of a football field from end to end).
After a few minutes I can tell you that I made a vow right then and there to go out and buy this book A.S.A.P. I haven't, yet, but I did read an excerpt on Amazon and from what I've read and especially after the events of this weekend I KNEW that I had to share this with others.
GO. CHECK. OUT. THIS. BOOK!!!! OMG!!!
So, back to the point of this blog entry. This past week my ex called me up to ask if I wanted to go out and see Thor in the IMAX theater near my townhouse and being the total comic-geek that I am, I said yes.
Now we both love going to the movies. Yes, I broke up with him last September but we still talk occassionally about new movies we want to see or share details about our lives with each other, including dating other people stuff. Now, I've still got a lingering love for this dude. For me, when we met, it was love at first sight. I mean really how many grown men do you know that can stand up and sing 'Hakuna Matata' from Disney's the Lion King sounding like a young Barry White? Anyway, as I said, I was thrilled to be a.) going to see Thor, b.) going with him, and c.) really needed to get out of the house after the last two weeks of grieving, stress, and work overload (my grandmother died, my class schedule is really heavy, and work is not getting any better). So, as I said, I REALLY needed some Rest and Relaxation and for me the movies work better than a massage.
Our "Date" was set for Saturday at 11am. Friday night he calls me and says that one of his friends from both of our former jobs at a telemarketing company was coming into town for the day (Saturday) and would I mind pushing back our "Date" so that he could go and have a cup of coffee with her. Now, this woman used to be his coworker and is an older woman who was really into his boss at the time, not him. They're just friends and have always been kind of close like that. It didn't bother me that he wanted to meet with her but it did bother me that he wanted to drop his plans with ME to go and do it. So, I hesitated before I gave him an answer and took a moment to reply, thinking quickly about how I felt about him cancelling less than 24 hours before our "Date".
I. DIDN'T. LIKE. IT....NOT ONE BIT!!!
In fact, I was furious. How DARE he cancel on ME after he was the one who invited ME to go out to the movies. I immediately thought to myself Uh-uh, no WAY was I going to let him jerk me around, like he always used to do when were dating and ruin my weekend. So then I thought how would the Bitch type of personality in Sherry Argov's book handle this situation? Answer: page 1 of the Introduction in her book. (I command you to go to Amazon and Look Inside the book and read the Introduction, you'll know what I'm talking about).
After thinking about it from that perspective I told him to "Sure, go and have coffee with your friend." He seemed relieved and suggested that maybe after coffee we could meet up before he had to go to work and we could see the movie. I told him that I could go see the movie by myself later that day and that he shouldn't rush through his coffee-date with his friend. He said, "Well what about Sunday? We could go see it then before I have to be at work at 6pm?" Again, I politely refused saying that I had other plans and that I was busy Sunday. (Yeah, right! but he didn't have to know that.) He said, "But I REALLY wanted to go and see it with you. Can't you change your plans so that we could?" I said, politely, that NO I couldn't change my plans and that I would probably go and see it BY MYSELF later in the day and that he should just focus on meeting up with his friend as I'm sure that they would have a lot to catch up on.
Do you know, he was upset because I wouldn't accomodate him....He broke off the "Date" with me yet HE was upset!!!
I am a Nice Girl but thanks to Dr. Gilda Carle and Sherry Argov I am now a much more ENLIGHTENED Nice Girl with Bitch potential. And this is NOT a derogatory or denigrating term that Argov uses to identify a type of woman who "...knows what she wants but won't compromise herself to get it....she's feminine, like a "Steel Magnolia"--flowery on the outside and steel on the inside....and has the presence of mind [which] enables her to wield her power when it is necessary....remaining cool under pressure."
This is the type of woman that I want to be not the Nice Girl who gives and gives and gives and becomes depleted but the Bitch who knows what she wants when she wants it and won't take B.S. from ANY guy just because she thinks that she has to in order to get him to respect her/fall in love with her/etc., etc., etc....
Lesson learned: don't be a pushover and let a guy think that he has you in his pocket and are DESPERATE to hang out with him just because you once were DESPERATE to hang out with him. I've changed, not just on the outside but also on the inside and I'M LOVING IT!!!
Knowledge is power and power equals FREEDOM.
This weekend's incident also taught me that I REALLY need to get a life and a routine that doesn't only involve going to work, going to class, doing design projects for class, and generally staying in the house until it's time to go back to work. Now for that leg of my Transformation I have Kelly Framel of the Glamourai.com blogspot to thank for making me realize that it is OKAY to indulge myself in life's many fripperies (like clothes shopping, buying a ridiculously overpriced cup of coffee every now and then, having a routine that MAKES ME HAPPY and GLAD TO GET UP ON THE WEEKENDS, as well as delighting in re-designing my home to better reflect my changing tastes and outlook on life and my new persona.
Yes, for those of you who are already her fans she is a 20 something Fashion Blogger but I would KILL to live one day in her life. Until, that is, I realized this weekend after this incident that I could ALSO craft a life that makes me happy EVERY DAY instead of remaining miserable, lonely, and depressed that I'm still single and have a long way to go to reach my weightloss goal this year. So, today, I played dress-up, donned a few fabulous finds that I've hoarded in my closet for last three years or so and instead of just strutting about in front of my mirror I actually wore them out of the house and actually WENT SOMEWHERE wearing them.
(SEIZE THE DAY!!!)
Saturday, April 23, 2011
DAY FOUR: FIRE45 CLASS/HIIT20 CLASS/ STRETCH 10 CLASS
DAY FIVE: EZ55 CLASS/ STRETCH 10 CLASS
Well, folks, I made it through the ENTIRE 5-Day Inferno Plan! The moves do get easier the more that you workout to the dvds and I even picked up a few more tips to decrease the possibility of knee injuries as I listened to Chalene talking during the breakdown. Tonight while doing the EZ55 Class was the first time that I didn't do the 'New to Class' option with the breakdown and I'm pretty proud to say that for the most part I was able to keep up with the moves that they were doing. I'm still doing the modified version, watching Ally on the right, to avoid any further damage to my left knee but believe me you still break a sweat regardless of who you're watching.
I had class tonight so I'm writing this kinda late, still sweaty from my workout, so I'll be taking my measurements and weighing myself tomorrow morning. I'll post them with the 'After' photos that I'm going to take too.
The new Turbo Fire Class Schedule that I'll be following doesn't begin until Monday and I believe that the week starts out again with the EZ55 Class. I forget who told me to try eating peanut butter on toast before my workout but whoever you are, Thanks! It worked wonders and I only had to take a few sips of water during the workout and the snack kept me full and energized throughout it.
To make sure that I'm still limber enough to workout on Monday I'm going to pop in my Denise Austin Power Yoga dvd and stretch and bend out all of the kinks I collected this week while working out to Turbo Fire. It really is quite addictive. The later that it got this evening the louder I could hear the title track playing in my head. Yeah, cause "I got Turbo on my mind!"
I definitely have found my 'new drug'. Who knew that it would be exercise? Not me! Anyway, I would make this purchase again if I had to do this over again. A great workout, great coach, great atmosphere, bangin' soundtrack that gets you pumped up each and every time. Yeah, I definitely got Turbo on my mind! And pretty soon instead of my dilemma being 'what outfit can I wear to hide my fat?' will turn into 'which outfit am I going to rock today?'
Happy Good Friday everyone!!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
EZ55 CLASS/STRETCH 10
Okay, so today was A LOT better energy-wise than Monday or Tuesday. I whipped up a strawberry protein smoothie this morning in my blender and drank it on the way to work. For lunch I had an orange and a turkey salad. And before my workout I had 1 ounce of Sunkist Almonds with Sea Salt and during my workout I sipped both water and Powerade Zero during the two breaks that I took. ONLY TWO this time guys! I also was able to get the moves down a lot better this time around and didn't have to stop and catch my breath or dredge up energy as badly as I did the previous two days.
As far as getting the moves down I think that it's just repetition, repetition, repetition that wins the day. As far as getting enough energy up for the workout I'm guessing that my breakfast, lunch, and snack choices had a lot to do with any improvement in that area.
Thanks to all of you that commented on my Day Two blog and offered suggestions. It really helped me out and the workout wasn't as bad today. My abs are sore but midway through the workout they did feel better and so did my legs/thighs. I was able to do more and boy did I sweat like a roasted pig on a spit. My sister walked into my living room took one look at me while I was working out and said, "Cordia, you're glistening all over!" Uh, yeah! That's because I was working my butt off trying to keep up with those dudes on the dvd. I was really moving today and I had the sweat to prove it.
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