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The New First Outfit

Friday, April 16, 2010

The very first thing I did after a joined a gym was go to the mall. I had no workout clothes & I needed something to wear for my gym orientation. I was feeling highly motivated that day so needless to say I walked away with the works - workout pants, shirt, shoes with cute laces, sports socks, sports bra, ipod holder, chic water bottle...you get the picture!

The funny thing was that as much as I hated the body I was putting that outfit on I loved putting on my new workout outfit. I don't know if it was the cuteness of the outfit or the satisfaction of what I was doing for myself, but it kept me motivated.

In our careers we never doubt the power of dressing for success. The power suit is the perfect way to approach a big meeting. Hot new pumps make you tower over challenges and the envy (at least in your head) of that coworker you don't really like anyway. That's not to say that clothes are what make you a confident & successful worker. It just serves as a jump start to remind you of everything that you have to be confident for!

Dress for the job you want is what the experts recommend. Why not apply that same philosophy to your workout regime? I'm not saying to go out and buy a workout outfit that's 4 sizes too small. I just believe that if you dress like your are confident in yourself & ready to roll..when you hit the gym you will be.

Ever since that first experience every time I've dropped a size, I've gone out & bought a new "first" outfit. I'm on luck number 5 now. Not only do I get to enjoy my body when I put it on - but I re-discover the kind of confidence that comes with a whole new "power" suit.

  


My Picky "Better" Half

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I've never been one of those people who minded cooking for one - I LOVE cooking for myself. In fact since I moved in with my Fiancée it has been cooking for two that is killing me (and my scale!)
I don't know that "picky" is the right word to describe my fiancée. He would eat 5 day old pizza he found randomly sitting out. He would also starve to death if he was on an island full of fresh vegetables. He is a total meat and potatoes guy. He won't touch any type of vegetable (except for the previously mentioned potato), isn't really a big chicken fan, refuses to even look at fish, only eats full fat dairy products, loves cheeses, sauces & gravy...etc.
It's a nightmare trying to make dinners that we can both sit down & eat that aren't laden with fat and calories. And of course...though I know he would be perfectly happy if I cooked for myself and he could eat ramen noodles for the rest of his life...I'm still determined to make the joint dinner work.
I have definitely gained a few things in this process. The first is a whole new level of respect for all of those mothers out there who make multiple meals every night for picky kids who won't eat them. The second is a new found camaraderie for all of those out there who are struggling on staying away from all the "bad" stuff our significant others bring into the house. Other things I've learned:
1. Vegetables are your best friend! Even though my fiancée won't touch the vegetables I try to prepare a huge portion of them with every meal. Bags of steamable frozen veggies and big salads with low cal dressing are quick sides that are super easy to throw together. I can make a portion of starch (my pet name for the potatoes/rice/bread/noodles & butter, etc that he likes on the side) for him & fill up my plate with the veggies. Pair this with our main course meat & we both have a meal we enjoy.
2. Measure, Measure, Measure - It's always important to measure out what you are eating but that becomes even more important with a more heavy calorie meal. Sticking to my guns on portions is key. If I'm still really hungry I can round it off with the previously mentioned veggies or have a light snack (like air popped popcorn) after dinner.
3. Leverage the heck out of the healthy things he likes - There are some meals that we both love & that are healthy too. Fajitas are a favorite of both of ours. I load mine up with lots of sautéed veggies & make up some marinated steak strips for him. He also is a big fan of whole wheat bread (go figure!) so on busy nights we'll have homemade soup (that I pull out of the freezer) & sandwich night or paninis. Breakfast for dinner is also a popular favorite of ours. I mix 3 egg whites for every 1 whole egg - he never even knows the difference. Which leads to my next thing...
4. ...The sneak attack! Somehow if he doesn't know it's "healthy" it doesn't bother him as much. He's clueless that I only buy part skim mozzarella for our pizza & doesn't seem to care that I sneak wholegrain pasta into his homemade mac & cheese. And if he's figured out that the polish sausage I make occasionally is made from turkey he hasn't said a word.
5. Don't ask! I used to ask him if he would like certain things before I would plan to make them...now I don't even bother. It's much harder for him to say no when a hot & ready meal is laying out on the table. I don't purposely make things I know he won't eat, but if it's on the fence I figure it's worth a try. If he hates it he can always go back to ramen for the night;).
6. Relax....It was really overwhelming at first to go from cooking for myself to trying to cook to fit the tastes of another person. I've realized though to take things as they come. If he hates something I make - I don't take it personally. If we have to have a big old splurge night for some of his favorites - that's okay too. One meal isn't going to make or break me. Besides - if it gives me a reasons to convince him to go for a walk with me after dinner I think we are both better off in the end.

  


Fat Goggles

Friday, June 12, 2009

When you are overweight I think it becomes so easy to look at life through "fat goggles". You look at people in terms of whether they are big or small. You think about things you can and can't do "because I'm fat". You think about people you can and can't date "because I'm fat". It's something that I think everyone who's ever been overweight understands and people who have never struggled with weight can't even comprehend. It's a dangerous game - one that can easily consume you and make you a very miserable person.

What I've learned in the last year is that those goggles are maybe even harder to lose than the extra pounds. It's still really easy to look at things in terms of fat and skinny, no matter what side you're on. Somewhere inside there's still the "fat" me. I still think in terms of what I can and can't do. Celebration of your success seems to only last so long before the old feelings and insecurities creep back in.

Then the really scary thing hits me...I still think I AM fat. How can that be? All the pounds I've let go and lifestyle changes I've made...and all I can think about is how far I have to go & how the heck I'm going to keep it all together. It's the fat goggles in me coming out. Seeing everything in terms of what I've gained, what I could lose & what I have yet to get.

So that brings me to last night at the gym. The "normal sized" woman next to me is giving half effort on the treadmill complaining about how many pounds she's gained. All I can think is how I'd kill to look like her...and how much longer I have to get there. I listen to her complain about jean shopping - and the smallest size she could get her "big" thighs into the last time she went to the store - and how she could barely zip them - and - wait! That's my size she's complaining about - actually that's the size I'm still wearing until I can phase out my wardrobe and buy the next small size which I already fit into. Is it possible? Am I acutally SMALLER than the normal girl????

That's when I realize the fat goggles are getting the best of me again. I'm judging others & judging myself based on arbitrary numbers and percieved standards. It's time to realize I am fabulous just the way I am. It's time to realize that fat doesn't rule the world.

So here's the deal...maybe I'll never think about myself as the skinny girl. Maybe I'll always have those fat goggles on - thinking in terms of cans and cannots. Or maybe...best of all...I'll just stop thinking so much...life is so much better that way!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EVERYDAYITRY 7/17/2009 4:21PM

    The imagery of fat goggles is brilliant (and so true).

Congrats on your success and try to see yourself thru rose-colored glasses instead!

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GGCHET 6/18/2009 12:26PM

    Loved reading your post & seeing how good you are doing!!!
I am beginning (again)...and could be your grandma...
well, almost. You are doing great & I'd love to
chat with you..

I tried to send you an e-mail but wouldn't let me...says 5 per day????

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BUFFALOGAL1952 6/14/2009 6:52AM

    One thing I have learned since starting this Journey is that you need to find the positives in your life each and every day. Dwelling on all the bad things about your life gains you nothing and generally you exagerate them and that only makes things worse. Good for you for realizing this. Keep looking forward to your goal. Don't worry about yestday and what you did wrong on your "diet". Stop comparing your self to others. Focus on you and where you want to go. keep it up!
Claudia

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DESERTBLOOM21 6/12/2009 1:22PM

    Yes! Fat Goggles! Brilliant! That's how I feel all the time - I'm constantly comparing myself to the rest of the female part of the population. And you're right - we're all fabulous the way we are! I am me, not that girl over there. I liked this, you hit the nail on the head with that term.

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I am an emotional eater and that's ok.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

So we've all heard the term "emotional eater". We've read the articles about how awful it is that people put things into their mouths instead of dealing with their problems. Now in my mind that has never been me. I'm an eater ...sure...and I could probably even be accused of eating when I'm bored (what I called a distant cousin to emotional eating)...but I'm all about emotions & dealing with them in a non-food way was never my issue. Or so I thought.
Clarity came yesterday at 6pm on Friday night. I had made the hour long trek to my boyfried's house for a nice weekend together. Friday night is our dinner out night...we take turns taking each other out to one of our favorite dinner places and it gives us a chance to talk, laugh & enjoy each other.
Of course this particular Friday at 6pm instead of being on the way to our favorite resturant I was sitting alone in my boyfriend's living room watching the people's court while he was outside doing lord knows what to his tractor - with no idea of when he might be done with it. I was slightly miffed. Next thing I knew a cocoa puff cereal bar and a couple handfuls from a bag of bacon cheddar fries he had were in my stomach. This of course was just a conicidence.
When he finished a while later and I ...admittedly...felt a little guilty for being mad...when went off to dinner. I was excited - we still had a whole nice night ahead of us plus Saturday to enjoy. Then he got a call...money he couldn't turn down to spend his Saturday and maybe Sunday working 2 hours away. He felt bad but I knew the money would go a long way in his goal to pay off his truck so I kissed him & said it was fine. In fact, it was so fine that by the end of dinner on top of my meal I had consumed pizza logs & a HUGE piece of peanut butter pie.
Ok...so yeah I'm an emotional eater. But you know what...it's ok. The way I see it, every time I feel the need to binge I have an automtic trigger that forces me to look at what's going on in my head. It makes me really think about my feelings & how I can deal with them. And if I ocassionally eat something bad just because I had a bad day...that's ok too...as long as I realize what I'm doing and compensate for it later. Besides every potential emotional binge is another opportunity to say no...to stay in control...and you know what...that might just make you feel good enough to turn everything around:).

  


On the Importance of Being Me...

Saturday, January 10, 2009

I can't believe it has been almost a year now since I sat up and decided to take care of myself. Walking in that gym was the scariest thing I've ever done.
So yes...I had a weigh issue that I needed to deal with. I didn't exercise or watch what I ate. More importantly though...I didn't care enough about myself to try.
It's been a year and I have lost 40lbs. Am I at my end state yet? Probably not - but I could. I love who I am now. Not the body - though it's always a thrill to go into the store and buy smaller jeans;). I love me most of all though for the fact that I'm doing what I've always wanted to do & never could.
Control is a beautiful thing. It lets me know that I love myself enough to use it. The smaller pants are just a bonus;).

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMMA_GRIZZ 1/10/2009 2:20PM

    That's exactly how I feel about my journey too. The weight loss and smaller clothes are a bonus, but the self-discovery that I have accomplished is amazing. Keep enjoying your journey!

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