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CONFUSEDBIRD's Recent Blog Entries

Feeling back on track!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

My dad called me last night so I talked to him and he told me my mom was still waiting to hear from me. So I called her and we talked and things are better. This morning I met two ppl from my running group at 5:15 am. We ran 12 miles together and I actually had a lot of fun. It was the most I had run before it training and it was not bad. 1.1 miles off from the longest I have run period. I learned from them to freaking walk! During one of my training meetings this girl that has done marathons before said that someone told her to walk thru the aid stations and drink your water. She didn't do it for the first 2 marathons she ran. Then the 3rd she said she walked through about 6 aid stations and drank her water. Shaved 8 minutes off her time taking that time off to WALK! Just because you have to walk does not mean you gave up. It means that you are reserving your energy and not killing yourself. I also got enough fluid and ate enough so I had energy left to spare today. Two things that are monumental in running distance. Maybe I should tell my BIL about this who can't break 3 hrs 25 minutes and does not walk lol I worked today at my health food store job. So you can run 12 miles and then work 6 hrs on your feet! Next week I will be running 13 miles, half marathon. Now I am gonna watch a documentary and pass out. Night night!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Wow, You are doing amazing!!

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FUEL82 7/24/2011 11:57PM

    Glad to hear things are getting better with your parents. I'm sorry things haven't been going so well lately. I hope they start to turn around for you Julie!

Yes, I agree with the walking!I think it makes the runs so much more enjoyable and gives you more energy. It is hard to let yourself do it though because I know I feel little inferior by doing it but then I think oh well...I want to be able to go longer and farther and with some of those walk breaks in the Galloway method they are only like 10 or 20 seconds when you have a really fast mile. Amazing to think that breaks that short will help out but I guess they do :-)

You are so awesome!!! 12 miles and you worked!!! Yay!!!! You are going to do so great in October!!!! Glad to hear running with that guy is going well!

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PAPER_WINGS18 7/24/2011 12:31AM

    glad to hear all is better :) hugs!

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CHRISTEL-LYNN 7/23/2011 11:43PM

    Whoa! that is awesome! Way to go!

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PSFITMOMMY413 7/23/2011 8:53PM

    Sounds great, girlie. I should take that advice when I'm running...I always want to take a drink, but can't run and drink without pouring water down my shirt!

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Can't pass up a 50 question blog!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Sooo.... the instructions go:

Copy and paste and fill it out on your own blog.

1. What time did you get up this morning?
I got up at 7 am.

2. How do you like your steak?
I don't eat red meat but when I did I had it rare, bloody. All or nothing I guess!

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Wow I have no idea, I can't seem to remember lol

4. What is your favorite TV show?
Right now it would be The Big C

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
On the west coast. Washington or Oregon.

6. What did you have for breakfast?
Oatmeal, Soy Yogurt and Strawberries

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Eggplant and chicken stir fry

8. What foods do you dislike?
Mostly food that makes me feel guilty to eat it like Lambs or goose lol

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
My house when I have energy to cook something good.

10. Favorite dressing?
Any by Annie's

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
Honda CRV

12. What are your favorite clothes?
Right now tank top with cut off capris and my pink vibrams. Really anything i can bike commute in.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
1/2 emty at the moment

15. Where would you want to retire?
I don't even know where I wanna raise a family

16. Favorite time of day?
4 pm when I get off work

17. Where were you born?
Urbana IL

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?

19. How many siblings?
One brother

20. Favorite pastime/hobby?

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
I don't really do them to get responses

22. Bird watcher?
Not really, fun to see something different.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Neither anymore lol I am a mid day kind of person

24. Do you have any pets?
3 rat terriers, 2 cats, 4 turtles, 1 bird, 3 lizards and some fish

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
not really

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
Radio DJ

27. What is your best childhood memory?
Spending the day with my grampa in the city

28. Are you a cat or dog person?

29. Are you married?

30. Always wear your seat belt?

31. Been in a car accident?

32. Any pet peeves?
People staying on their cell phones when they check out at stores as if the clerk is not human. People being rude to retail workers in general. Everyone should have to work retail to see how crappy some ppl can be.

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
Mushroom and green olive

34. Favorite Flower?
Calla Lilly, Gladiolus, Poppy, Snapdragon

35. Favorite ice cream?
I am not picky, if there is chocolate I am there!

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
I don't really go to any anymore.

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test?

38. From whom did you get your last email?
A dude in my running group I am meeting tomorrow morning

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Goodwill lol

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
I am about to call my mom after not talking to her for 2 weeks.

41. Like your job?
I like both of them at times and hate them at times too.

42. Broccoli?

43. What was your favorite vacation?
I haven't really had a good one as an adult? lol

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?

45. What are you listening to right now?
cicadas outside and NPR

46. What is your favorite color?
Yellow or Green

47. How many tattoos do you have?

48. Have you ever been mentioned in the newspaper?
Only in Obits lol

49. What time did you finish this quiz?
8:13 pm

50. Coffee Drinker?
Yes 2.5 cups a morning if I don't run in the morning that is.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I always enjoy finding out more about you.

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EDDYMEESE 7/23/2011 10:06PM

    Awesome! I live in Oregon, and I agree that it is grand! Let me know if you ever come for a visit :)

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CAROLYN1ALASKA 7/23/2011 1:47AM

    What a fun blog!
Thanks for sharing...

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Marathon Weight Gain and Mom

Friday, July 22, 2011

Gaining weight from marathon training has been getting harder for me lately. I don't really think it's muscle either. I feel more like I just need excess food and I have no self control for days after long runs and it sucks! I made a deal with my husband that we are going back to actual dinners together again. He said he was cool with that. Even for marathon training u should eat clean. My friend keeps saying, Wow I bet you could eat anything when your running that much and that long. Um no not really. It takes "joy eating" to another level. Instead of eating until I am sick. With the long runs you feel sick and can't eat enough, or I do. No one seems to have the same issue as me lol I am just keeping the house stocked with a 4 cheese pizza I can share with Scott after the runs and I feel better from that. This man in my group group weighs about 250 and runs for his step son that passed away that always wanted him to run a marathon with him. So ever since he has run 4 in his memory. He is going out early tomorrow at 5 am, 1.5 hrs before the group because he is slower. Maybe I should go with him. It's a 12 mile run and I might need to go slower. He's the only person in the group that I enjoy talking to. Only problem is I gotta work at 11:30 am. Can I run 12 miles and then work 6 hrs on my feet, hmmmm. Maybe I can take a nap between. My life is a bit on the NUTS side these days.

Oh anyway that's what I started writing about with the marathon weight gain. I tell my friends about feeling fat and they just go PSH. Gaining 10-15 lbs after losing 130 is not as small and sad as it sounds. I am not telling them "oh poor me" I am actually telling them I am depressed and no one takes me serious they think I am just being cocky and half ignore me. I have gained all my weight back before and it's not so hard to do. It is exhausting to always worry about this and never just lay back and relax. I guess some ppl have alcohal issues and can't have alcohol in the house. They would probably envy my 1 beer or less a week. I envy their ability to stay away from trail mix.

I still haven't talked to my parents. I am not even pissed anymore, but I don't wanna be the first to call. I have a feeling my parents can go for yrs without calling me either. That is just how they are. It's easier to not confront an issue than work it out. I got really upset about this yesterday and started crying to my friend and Scott. It's been affecting my eating too. I just don't like the person I am around my parents anymore. I turn into this cocky self absorbed b!tch that's always on a time schedule. Probably because their lifestyle make me crazy now. They do everything so slowly, on no type of schedule whatsoever. If we are leaving at one time plan on them being 35-50 minutes late. So doing things with them is teeth grinding frustrating. Plus they are so fragile now and I just worry the whole time I am with them. Like that old house walk I did with my mom. I looked forward to it for weeks and I asked my dad on the 4th of july what my mom thought it and all she had to say was "There was a lot of walking". Some people are old at 60 and I understand that. But why did they let themselves get so old at 60. Maybe this is just a good time to stay away from them and work on being a nicer more patient person. Running and exercise and being with ppl who run and exercise just slowly turns u into a type A personality. My old life does not jive well with that it seems. I also feel like time is running out tho and my dad goes to dialysis 3 days a week to stay in our lives and I am just squandering that time.............

Funny thing is I got a call from "Parents House" while I was writing this blog and they hung up really fast before I could answer. Probably my dad half sleeping.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EDDYMEESE 7/23/2011 10:42PM

    The same thing happened to me when I was running. I gained so much weight and I was training for a marathon. Okay, I didn't gain a ton, but I definitely wasn't losing like I would have hoped to. But part of that was because I forgot that I still have an eating disorder. I'm an over-eater. So I would undo all of the hard work on my runs. Even a 12 mile run, where you're burning 1000-1200 calories, can be undone by a couple of slices of pizza and a beer. But don't let yourself play too many head games, either. You can still fix this!

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    Hi there! I've been reading your blog for a while and this one definitely struck a cord on how I've been feeling about my parents. They're in their 50s but my mom constantly talks about how OLD she is... how terrible she looks, how fat she is, etc no wonder my self-esteem is terrible. I don't even know what to do to convince her that she doesn't have to be old at 50 or 60 or actually never. You never have to become old... I think age is a mental thing. I want her to be around for a long time and be active and I really hope she changes. Maybe if she sees me making huge changes in my life- she'll follow. Maybe you should sit down with your mom and have a talk with her and tell her all of this? Take some time to cool off, but not too much time and then call them. I'm thinking about doing this next time I visit. Not even going to bother over the phone.

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MBSHAZZER 7/22/2011 10:13AM

    Hey there, I just stumbled across your blog... you lost 130 pounds!!! WOWZA! That is an amazing accomplishment!

Weight gain during marathon training is normal, but not inevitable. I have run 3 marathons - I lost weight during the first two and put a little back on for the 3rd. Here are some tips I found helpful:
-The more long runs you do, the more your body will get "used" to it and not need all that much extra fuel. That feeling of wanting to EVERYTHING in sight? It goes away with time!

-Eating clean is key to avoiding bingeing later on. Clean eating will help you regulate your blood sugar. Focus on fresh fruits and veg and whole grains like brown rice, quinoa, buckwheat, etc. I find the bulk bins at Whole Foods or similar are a really inexpensive way to experiment with new grains.

-I have a hard time eating directly after a long run, but if I don't refuel with something, it can be difficult to tame the munchies later on. I use a recovery drink called Recoverite by Hammer, but basically anything with a 3:1 or 4:1 carb to protein ratio will work - a lot of people like low fat chocolate milk. Have that after your run and you'll be able to strech, cool down, shower and then have time to make a sensible meal.

-This is controversial, but a lot of people (myself included) opt to either not fuel or fuel minimally on long runs. By not giving your body a quick source of fuel, it is forced to use fat stores as fuel. If you want to try this, pick a day when you are doing a long SLOW run, bring plenty of water with you, and back up fuel just in case! It might be good to try it on a group run. I have used this strategy for years and most recently had a PR at my last marathon having only consumed 2 gels on the route - definitely could have skipped them, too!

If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

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RUNSWITHDEER 7/22/2011 9:25AM

    At 52, I see the effects that running has had on my body. Yeah, I can take IBprofen like its candy, but I know its not good. I realize that I am sore most every day and night but I choose to run. I am blessed to be able to run. I can live with the soreness but I may pay dearly come 60 or 65? Give the parents their time. If I were you I would call them today! Life is too short. If life has to slow down when you are around them, so be it. The people we have in our lives are there for a reason, or so I believe. We should look upon them as blessings, even if thats hard. And when I look at people as blessings, you know what, I think that my attitude starts to change, my heart gets a little softer for them. Not bad for an old grinch. hehe

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Sometimes you gotta use yourself for encouragement

Thursday, July 21, 2011

I was thinking of all the stuff I have been doing wrong lately and how I need to correct it. I know exactly how to correct all the little stupid stuff I keep screwing up on. Do all the tips I give other people. It sucks how sometimes you are on such a roll and losing weight and all well. But then when u get off that track, getting back on seems so hard.

1) Get house cleaned up, nothing in my life is organized until my home is clean.

2) Get back to eating my fruits and veggies.

3) Eat out ONCE a week, THAT IS IT! Anymore then that is a disaster. Also make the occasion a nice one. Not a fast dinner on someones lunch break where I am rushing.

4) Make dinner everynight at home with 4 servings of veggies. Even if you have to eat dinner at 4 pm. Make it happen. When you eat a balanced meal it helps so much. Eating small meals all day just leaves me hungry for more and more small meals.

5) Stop stressing over the small stuff. You are where you are for a reason. You didn't sign up for any running events because YOU didn't want to. You did them because once upon a time u felt empowered to do so and you don't wanna let that girl down. Enjoy every workout and STOP looking at it as a hassle! I repeat STOP THIS NOW!

6) Stop watching so much tv. That roku box is cool but it causes u to eat garbage in bed. Start reading at night before bed instead. It is really hard to eat and read at the same time!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EDDYMEESE 7/23/2011 10:36PM

    Jules, thanks for writing this :) It's a reminder to all of us! P.S. It's okay to not be PERFECT every day! Keep up the good work. You are still the same person who ran races and who loses weight and who eats all of their veggies!

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PAPER_WINGS18 7/21/2011 2:55PM

    Hey Jules,

I just want you to know that I'm here if you need me! :) I know I haven't bene posting as much since I've been so busy with this new job, but if you need anything don't hesitate to PM me or FB message me. If you want, PM me your cell and we can text or something for extra support/accountability.

I KNOW that you will pick yourself back up and continue kicking @$$. It just takes a little self-talk and reflection to get there.


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JWARD199 7/21/2011 2:27PM

    Julie, your blogs are frequently meaningful to me, but this one really hits home. I'm trying to get back on track too. I really need to get back to exercising and watching portions. I eat healthy, but too much at times. I like the advice you gave yourself. I may need to give myself a talking to.

Thanks for posting!


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PSFITMOMMY413 7/21/2011 9:56AM

    It's so hard to get back on track. I finally have...I hope you do too :)

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THESB25 7/21/2011 9:49AM

    Thanks for all the tips and wrote this for yourself, but all of the above applies to me too emoticon

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Ugh Arg Ugh

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

I have not written in a week. Nothing has really been going well per say. Not a lot of good eating or good exercise. Just a whole lot of hanging in there. Going on auto piolot. Having a hard time with my parents right now and I am not speaking to them. It has been over a week. I know what people are gonna say, life is too short to do that. They can contact me though and they choose not to so whatever. Everything makes me wanna contact them, little things I see. I am pissed though and I am not gonna, so be it. Oh and I can't go on any trips without them watching my dogs. So now I am pretty much Xing my august trip I wanted to go on. I am on my TOM and I am eating everything its been bad. My exercise has even sucked. The heat outside is pissing me off too. Can't run without feeling like I am gonna die. Can't walk my dogs without feeling like I could kill them. Ok I am done whining. On a good note I took my friend Mavis to water aerobics tonight and she really enjoyed it. TOM go away and bring something positive my way, PLEASE! I have been getting a lot of sleep. Probably because I pass out at 10pm every night no matter where I am.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RELIVE 7/21/2011 9:23AM

    Since I have one of those long term birth controls I don't have a TOM. Yay! =P.

But yeah, I'm sorry nothing is going how you want it to. On the bright side I think your parents are just being stubborn and the dust will settle soon enough. After all they are your parents.

Just keep hanging in there! Wish you the best.

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THESB25 7/20/2011 8:53AM

    My TOM always knocks me around -- I don't dare climb on the scale during mine. Autopilot isn't terrible, but try finding something inspirational to get you motivated again. That's what I do.

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JENREN225 7/20/2011 8:43AM

  Hang in there! I just had a little bump in the road like this not too long ago. If you ever need a dog-sitter, we can help. Our pooch loves furry friends of all sizes to play with. She has a thing for little dogs (I think she thinks she is one sometimes.) lol....

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JEREMY723 7/20/2011 6:14AM

    I hoep you're doing better soon. The heat certainly is bad. Probably not an option on days you work, but going first thing in the morning makes the heat feel much better, though the humidity is horrible still of course.

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CORNERKICK 7/20/2011 2:02AM

  Hang in there!

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JWARD199 7/19/2011 10:10PM

    You will get through this, Julie. The heat is oppressive, but it too will pass (eventually, they're talking about another week of this heat).

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    Like everything else..this too will pass..don't beat yourself up
A little Humble pie isn't so bad lol..blood is thicker than water..Keep Sparking to make your Dreams a Reality!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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