Thursday, July 26, 2012
I am tired...so very tired. The kind of tired that makes tired tired, if that makes sense :P
This weekend, July 28th, will be my daughter's last pageant in SC for a long time and she is so excited to be doing a pageant but sad that she will not see her pageant friends down here for a while. After the pageant, I will start going through all of mine and the kids things and slimming down everything that we don't need or use. Then I will have a yard sale to get rid of these things.
The week of the 18th, I will give up my beloved South Carolina palm trees and heat to move back home to Virginia. The kids and I are moving on with our lives without my now ex-husband and their dad. He will eventually be moving back to Virginia once he gets out of the navy.
I have been dating an awesome man, Shawn, for a while now. We have a son together, my youngest son, Gabriel. Shawn will become part of Gabriel's every day life. I decided that when my ex-husband and I split up that I would not make my daughter change school in the middle of the school year and disrupt her life any more than it will already be disrupted, so she finished out the school year, finished up with her dance recital with dance, and now it's time to move on with my life and finally be happy for a change.
Part of me is scared out of my wits, but I know I will finally have my happy ending. Shawn and I started dating again (we met when I was 18) in November 2010 when my ex and I split up for the second time. We broke up in March 2011 and my ex and I decided to try one more time to fix our marriage. Shortly after, I found out I was pregnant and we knew immediately that my little bean was Shawn's. I went through some turmoil and almost lost Gabriel several times. The Ex deployed and I went through most of my pregnancy alone with my other 3 kids. I wouldn't allow Shawn to be a part of my life or pregnancy because I had 2 people stalking me and trying to hurt me and I thought 1 of them was him...it turned out that it wasn't, but 2 former friends.
I just couldn't get over the cheating from my ex and then some other things happened to me and I knew that my marriage was over. Shawn reached out to me shortly after my marriage ended and we have been together ever since. He loves all of my kids as their own and when the oldest 3's dad hasn't been nice, he has stepped up to the plate. I get asked "is he just a rebound?" and I just reply with "Third times a charm!". He is an amazing dad to Gabriel and my other kids call him "Papa".
I can't wait to get on with my new life with him. We are finally going to start over together. Life is already amazing but I can't wait for what's to come. I know things will be tough at first getting back on my feet, but I'm strong enough to do it. Every bad thing that I have went through has made me stronger. I have shed less tears each day and I am fighting hard to become who I am. I am going to start nursing school when I get moved and get my kids settled in. Shawn and I are already planning on getting married but after I graduate nursing school and my divorce is finalized of course. This is my time...this is my life...This is my HAPPY ENDING!