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I feel like a fraud!

Monday, June 11, 2012

So I'm talking to my oldest sister on the phone yesterday and she's updating me on what's been going on. She was on vacation and returned Thursday night (the back story - she got motivated by my success and joined Weight Watchers and then started a running program. She lost over 30 lbs. in less than 4 months and became a Lifetime member in mid-May). She went to her WW meeting on Saturday and lost another 1.5 lbs. - while on vacation. She's actually below her WW goal. She also proceeded to tell me that she's up to running 2 miles with her running class. I enthusiastically praised her for her success, but I must tell you, I was feeling kind of jealous. As soon as I got off the phone with her, I started in on all my excuses (in my head!). She doesn't work (retired a couple of years ago after her husband sold his company) and she doesn't have kids, so she's got plenty of time to exercise and eat right.

Now to why I feel like a fraud - As I've blogged recently, I'm not feeling the running and I'm also over my WW goal. Here I was the motivator to my sister and now I'm a big, fat, failure (again my internal conversation). Running last week was a disaster. I walked/ran on Monday & Tuesday. I was 0nly able to run a mile without stopping and it was a struggle. I finished off about 2.5 miles running/walking and the same on Tuesday. Wednesday I walked for about 35 mins. while DD#3 was at Hip Hop class. Thursday & Saturday (all day in the heat) DD#2 had softball games and yesterday it rained. I didn't even want to get on the scale last week.

I could really relate to the "slump" blogs by SandiegoJohn. I've been in a slump for about 3 weeks. Because of the insane schedule that was May, I resorted back to some bad habits - not making time for healthy meals and workouts. Things have slowed down a bit now that schools out, so now I need to break the cycle. Right now my biggest concern is how to regain my motivation to run. I'm thinking about a new cardio for a while. DD#1 has been loosing weight and wants to start exercising. She doesn't want to start running again, but really wants to start Kickboxing. So we're looking into a class that we can do together. I still want to run a couple of nights a week so I don't totally loose what I've accomplished.

So I'm going to "tweak" my goals for the summer and get back in control to end this slump. I'll go ahead and weigh on Wednesday and figure out my exercise goals.

Am I a fraud?! NO, I lost 46 lbs. and maintained for a year. I may not be the "runner" I was 6 months ago, but I still plug along and exercise 3+ days a week. Instead - I'm an awesome 51 year old mother of 3 that can keep up with the best of them!

  


Oh crap, it's June!

Monday, June 04, 2012

I'm back at work after being on vacation last week and had to tear off the May page of the calendar. I can't believe it's June! May was a blur of "kid activities" and this past week was no different. My running was non-existent this past week and not much to speak of the week before.

Monday was DD#1's confirmation - it was a great celebration! After Mass, we had lunch at Bahama Breeze (DD#1's choice) and back to the house for cake. DD#1 had some friends come over, so my sisters, DD#2 & 3 and I went to the park to walk. We did the hilly trail, so it was a good 45 min. walk (but no running!). I was exhausted on Tues. and spent the day lounging on the coach watching Netflix. Wednesday I went to a waterpark with DD#3's Girl Scout troop. It was a great day - not very crowded and perfect weather. Because it wasn't crowded, we were able to ride the waterslides without much standing in line. If you've ever been to a waterpark, you know that this entails a lot of walking and climbing of steps - so I knew I got a workout on Wednesday (we were there for 7 hours!). We got up bright and early on Thursday and went to another park in the area (Stone Mountain). I took DD#2 and 3 friends and DD#3 and a friend - so I was there with 4-14 year old girls and 2-11 year old girls. Insanity - but we had a good time. The 14 year olds did their own thing and I hung with the 11 year olds. Again, a lot of walking and I packed a nice, healthy, picnic lunch (although I did have Dip n Dots!).

I did walk again on Friday with my sister and Saturday night I had my aunt & cousin over for dinner ( they were in town from Pennsylvania for a large family HS graduation party) and we took a short walk after dinner.

Yesterday we went to the graduation party at a small lake where we kayaked & the kids went swimming. There was also a lot of badmitton played last week!

Although I was very active, I was disappointed that I didn't run. My eating was also off the charts! We pretty much stuck to our healthy dinners, but I found myself snacking more (a lot more!).

I've clearly not kept up with my running training and have pretty much ignored my "today's workout" e-mails. At this point, I don't even think I can go back to the beginning of the training. As I get back in my routine at work and my new summer routine at home, I'm going to have to figure out my fitness goals for the summer. Mon. - Thurs. DD#2 has softball practice for a tournament this weekend. She likes me to stay at the practices, so I'll try running then (2 hour practices). DD#3 is starting a "hip hop" dance class on Wednesday at the local park and they have an indoor track - so I can also walk/run there. I also got up this morning and did a weight DVD (hate it, but I did it).

I also think I put back on some more lbs., but we'll see on Wednesday.

So, as I turn the page to June, it's also time to re-evaluate my goals! Looking forward to Summer and my Summer goals!

  


Didn't Start Over!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Well I didn't start over my running training like I blogged before. That would have been a good thing. Instead, I've pretty much stopped running the past week and I only got in 2 runs the week before. I did press the little button to start over the training, but I've pretty much ignored the daily e-mails on what my "training" is for the day.

I was actually going to run on Mother's Day, but it rained all day. My family ended up coming to my house (we were planning to go to the lake), which meant a quick clean-up. My sister & niece had all the food, but the house was a mess! DH invited everyone over and then he went to work! He did manage to motivate the girls to clean the house before everyone came (about 8 extra people), so it ended up being a nice day.

Last Monday, my sister and I played DD#2's softball team in a Mother/Daughter game. I haven't played softball in almost 2 years (tendon injury and we didn't get a league together this year), but us "old folks" looked pretty good. We beat the 13/14 year olds soundly. I played 1st base and did a lot of stretching and a lot of batting/running. I was very sore for 2 days. My sister and I walked for 2 miles on Wednesday to stretch out the muscles (I don't think I could have run) and then I ran for about 2 miles on Thursday. It started storming, but I don't really think I could have run any more. I did get in a 11+ min. mile to prepare for my "Fun Run" on Saturday.

DD#2's softball team had a tournament game on Friday and if they had won, my Saturday morning would have been chaotic (3 things going on at once and DH had to work). They lost, so it made things easier. I volunteered to register at the 5K at my church and run the Fun Run. I wish I could have done the 5K because it was a pretty flat course and most of the times were pretty quick. I ran the Fun Run with DD#3 who wanted to walk while eating a snocone. I bribed her to throw out the snocone (by buying her another one after the race) so we started out kinda walking and then running. I did the mile in 11:22, so that was pretty good for me.

Yesterday DD#2 had Allstar practice @ 6:30 and I was going to run then. We had another big storm come in at 5:30 and it rained out practice. It stormed until 7:30, so that ended my run.

I have one more week of chaos. DD#2 won Saturday, so they play tonight (I thought for sure they would be done in 2!) and DD#1 has to work. Tomorrow is another potential game and if they win that, they'll play Wednesday. I honestly don't think this team can win anymore, but I was wrong on Saturday (we have very weak pitching and the coach is clueless - he almost blew the game on Saturday by 2 really dumb base running decisions - even one of the umpires commented on it).

The girls are out of school after this week and I'm on vacation next week! DD#1 has her Confirmation on Memorial Day and then we have some "staycation" plans next week. I'll be getting in plenty of exercise. DH played touch football with some "youngsters" from work on Sunday and he said he didn't do as well because he hasn't been running and our eating hasn't been the best.

So, although the summer is looking to be pretty busy with camps, work, basketball/softball "open gym/field days, etc., we're determined to get back on a schedule with our exercise and especially the eating! We actually made out a meal plan yesterday and DH is going to the grocery store this morning before he goes in to work.

So, I'll "bite the bullet" again on Wednesday when I weigh and I'll just have to reset my goals for June and the rest of the summer! I'm going to stop using the term "start over" since this is my lifestyle and a journey and if things don't go as planned, I'll just make a new plan and go from there!

  


Starting Over!

Friday, May 11, 2012

My blog on Monday had me questioning whether to start over with my 5K "training". I signed up for an online intermediate training program back in March to improve my 5K time to under 36 min. I soon found out after a couple of weeks that I was not quite at "intermediate" level. After 3 weeks, it has you running for an hour and a lot of hard "tempo" runs. I do enjoy the different workouts, so I don't want to abandon the training entirely. I really would like to get past Week 3.

It's been almost 2 weeks since I actually ran and over 2 weeks since I've weighed myself. I won't go into all the reason/excuses, except to say May is simply chaotic! My husband has been working a lot of nights (again, not overnight, so we're thankful for that), but he's not home in the evenings, which leaves me to do all the running around. We end our school year in May, so everything is being crammed into 1 month!

Anyway, to get myself "back on track", I weighed yesterday morning and was surprised to see that I actually lost 2 lbs. Granted 2 weeks ago I had recorded a gain, so now I'm not quite back to "square one". I have about 4.6 lbs. to loose instead of 6 to get back to my lowest WW weight (and 2.6 lbs. to get back to my WW goal). Still in the healthy range and still managed to loose .5 inches in my waist.

I know that trying to keep up with this training is the main reason I'm not gaining weight. Again, it's motivating me to get 5 days of 30+ mins. of exercise a week. So, I clicked the little button and started my training back over (it will "ask" you if you mean to start over!) Yesterday was a 30 min. run and after almost 2 weeks, it was hard. This week and next week I really want to work on having a fast mile because I'm running a "Fun Run" next Saturday at church with my Girl Scout troop and I want to be faster than the girls (and other parents)!

This weekend is jammed packed again. Tomorrow my company is hosting a client appreciation event. I have to be at the park @ 10:30 and stay until 2:30. I would have liked for the whole family to go and make a day of it (nice park with lots to do), but DH & DD#1 have to work. DD#1 got her first job at a local pizza place & she loves it! (she's 16, but she can't drive yet, so we have to get her there & pick her up). DD#2 has a softball game, so only DD#3 and a friend are coming. We'll have to leave right after the event so I can go to DD#2's game (a little late) and pick up DD#1 from work.

Sunday (Mother's Day), DH has to work, but he'll be able to help the girls make me breakfast (after sleeping in) and then DD#2 has All Star softball practice. My niece is having a cook-out at the lake, so we'll go to that after practice.

Happy Mother's Day to all!

  


Do I Start over Again?!

Monday, May 07, 2012

If anyone reads my blogs, they're probably thinking "this chick is wishy washy" and "boy does she have the excuses", but I'm not sure where to go right now with my running. I blogged before about burn-out and how hard the runs have become. But I know the running has been instrumental in keeping the weight off. I'm also proud of how far I've come. 1 year ago I was about half way through with my C25K program and was probably maybe running for 10 mins. Now I can run for 40+ and 3+ miles. I'm not fast and it's not easy, but I'm doing it.

My quandary right now is it's been over a week since I've even run! Last week was a nightmare with kid's activities (I can't even remember what I did, but running wasn't one of it). I spent the weekend at Girl Scout camp with DD#3 and 9 other 11 year olds. I got plenty of exercise - canoeing, horseback riding, swimming, letterboxing (kind of like geo-catching) and a lot of walking. I really did plan to get a run in yesterday, but by the time we got home, emptied out the car and showered, I had to take DD#2 to softball All Star try-outs. I could have run, they were being held at my running park, but it was hot and I was tired! 2 nights of little to no sleep will do that to you.

Now I've had a week of no running and bad eating (won't even get into that!). This week won't be much better. I won't even list what I have going on, but I don't foresee getting a run in until Wednesday, which means I'm 2 weeks off of my "training schedule". This training schedule is a really good guide and it has kept me motivated to run and do cross-training. I also got some good advice before about taking a guilt free week off from running, just keep moving. I've also gotten advice about strength training (which I haven't done).

So, I ate my healthy breakfast this morning, packed my healthy lunch (just finished my carrots) - can't do anything about what I ate last week. And, I'm going to start my training over again - yes again! It just means restarting a date in the computer. I'm not really starting over, because this is a journey and a life style. If I need to try something different or tweak what I'm doing, that's o.k.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAVAGEAMY 5/7/2012 1:53PM

    i completely agree with JESSICAMARIE12. That is great advice. Pick it back up, and complete it. You have not lost it, you just took a breather. Now you can continue on! "Success is not about perfection, it is about persistence."

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TRISSIDAAE 5/7/2012 1:52PM

    Nothing wrong with starting over better than quitting for sure, we all slip sometimes, just pick yourself up and brush yourself off and start again emoticon

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JESSICAMARIE12 5/7/2012 1:47PM

    I would say, just pick up where you left off. We all have things in life that overwhelm us from time to time, but the important thing is that you keep going, and don't let it get you down. 2 weeks may sound like you're way off, but it's better than 2 months!!! :) Just pick up where you left off, adjust your end time, and keep treking.

That's the great thing about weight loss, and goals...they aren't absolute!!!! They are always changing, adapting, and tweeking. You're right, you can't change what you did last week, but you can change what you do THIS week. You're obviously not happy with how you weren't running last week - which I give you props for doing anyway cause me + running = disaster!!! So, take that and learn from it. Think about it the next time you think about skipping a workout, or a run. That's where you will grow, and be successful! :)

If you have come this far already - don't give up - You Can Do It!!!! :)

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