Sunday, January 26, 2014
I said screw it, I stopped saying I am going to do it tomorrow and did it today and FEEL AMAZING. I woke up and had a delicious smoothie and a couple pieces of lean meat. I had a nice coffee and I started the 30 day shred. I would like to capture pictures of day 1, day 15 and day 30 so I can look back and see how amazing 30 days of committment will do for me!!! My mood is good, my worries are small and Im motivated. NOW, what should I bring that is quick for lunch all week so I can either walk on my 45 min lunch break or do a yoga work out in the banks basement (lol)
Monday, January 13, 2014
I did better today...but I suddenly remembered my weight loss secret....TEA, TEA AND MORE TEA....TEA WITH lemon, chai tea, green tea, peppermint tea, anyyyyyyy tea.....I FEEL SOOO full right now because I just made myself a mug, I dont have that usual late night craving and I feel extremely full. I need to start doing this again and keeping myself hydrated through out the day, I have been slacking and I really noticed it today. Tomorrow I am going to make a nice fruit/kale smoothie in the morning and go for a walk and do a leg circuit. I am going to get things done around the house my last day off. I am going to clean the things that need to be cleaned, do my laundry for the week ahead, organize my lunches for wed thru saturday, figure out my coffee makers timer so it will be ready when I wake up for work. For the work week ahead, I promise to wake early, and take an extra minute on my appearance. I vow to walk everyday with at least 4 weight lifting work outs a week for the next 2 weeks. I want to see the changes every 2 weeks and take it slowly. I am going to judge how I feel mentally and physically day by day and also record what I eat for the next 2 weeks. Maybe I can see what is making me so tired throughout the days and how to keep my energy up. Im ready, its time to take control.
Sunday, January 05, 2014
We all know after Christmas, our pockets are a little tighter. Well mine is so tight right now that I literally have been stressing every moment and I am so sick of it. I am telling you it sucks right now, I don't make a lot of money and I'm really hurting. My boyfriend got laid off and so were legit living off of my one paycheck, so not only do I have to pay all my own bills, I also have to pay full bills for what we used to split. Thankfully his cell and stuff is taken care of...anyways, this whole worrying about money thing, severely effects my life. I have a roof over my head, I paid all my months bills on time, so why am I still freaking out? Maybe because were used to being out every weekend I have off and these last three days we have literally been around the house, cleaning, catching up on shows and relaxing (WHY AM I FEELING BAD FOR THAT!?!?!?!?) I know soon things will get better, J should be getting unemployment in a few weeks and I am going to continue to look for a part time job I can fit into my schedule (which has been extremely hard). Why do I feel bad, why do I have to stress about the future constantly. I didnt even gain weight during the holidays and I am stressing because I haven't lost anything. Im being totally irrational and I hate it. I know bills are important and its good to get things in on time and have extra money stashed away, etc, but why I am I letting this effect my whole life. Guess what, my heat is on, I just got a new ninja blender for christmas for my smoothies and I have a cozy bed to sleep in at night. WHY am I not being grateful. I don't know, because I am SOOO grateful for my life and the people I have in it. I feel like sometimes society, tv, media, etc....make me stress more. It makes me think, why dont I have this? Am I not working hard enough? Did I make a mistake by leaving a job I absolutely hated to make a little less money? I know that the economy has a lot to do with why I am struggling and that really sucks, but I have to keep moving forward. There may not be much opportunity lined up for second job right now, but I already have one lined up for the spring and summer. Why can't I just sit back and look at my life and be like, I have so much...because I know I do, I know I am lucky. Its almost like stress is a habit of mine and my mind won't let it go. Im in student loan debt yes, but most of america is, I struggle to pay my bills, but I find a way to pay them, even if they are a couple days late. I gave myself a little break this last 3 days, and guess what I think I deserved it....I dont want money to consume my life. I want to be happy with what I have but always strive for more. My life is great...I just needed to get all of this out of me....just write it down because it makes me feel better to write down my fears, feelings and struggles. I think meditation would be a good tool for me to use, even if I do 10 minutes a day. Tomorrow is a new week and I start bright and early. My plan is to get up do a 15 minute work out, shower, make my smoothie, get ready, go to work and work my ass off, come home, kiss my boyfriend, try to get another 15 minute work out in and relax and enjoy the moment.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Well, scary scary scary....I passed out three times on Friday night, in a row, thankfully at home and my boyfriend found me the first time and was able to catch me the 2nd and third time. The EMTs came and said I was fine, but I wasnt. I ended up having excruciating stomach pain for hours. In the morning, I was ready to go to the ER and I passed out again. I got to the hospital in crazy pain. I was diagnosed with infectious colitis and let me tell you I thought i was a pretty healthy 28 year old. Looking back on it though, I haven't been taking care of myself. I have been struggling with my diet and finding time to exercise because I just switched jobs and had crazy training schedule. I NEED to find the time to do both of these things, plan my meals and get exercise in. I was doing great about 2 weeks ago, biking everyday. What I really need to change is....my way of thinking. I had intense anxiety for about 2 weeks before this. Im done freaking out about stupid things, mistakes that could happen, and always thinking the worst case scenario. I was in major pain and admitted to the hospital for 2 days for something that could have been prevented, had I taken care of myself. I'm home recuperating now thankfully. This is it though, no more talking about it, no more saying I will start tomorrow, from this moment my life needs to change. I need to eat clean foods, exercise and I need to calm down. Funny thing is, the best medicine for my anxiety is exercise so thats what I am going to do. This is not all about losing weight and looking good (although that is definitely part of it) its treating my body well again. Its about eating to live, exercising for peace of mind and worshiping my body instead of hurting it. I want to apologize to my body for ignoring all the signs I see now, I am sorry I let it get to this point and I promise not to ever let this happen again. I am ready for changes, ready for health. Im not overweight at all, Im just unhealthy and its time to change.
Monday, October 07, 2013
Im half way to a completely healthy lifestyle. Im making better choices, most of the time. I would like to make better choices all of the time because we had chinese food last night and I feel so disgusting right now. I started with the negative self talk, then stopped myself because, it was one meal on cheat day, the thing is I feel like I took in way too many calories, I can still feel the food sitting in my stomach..yuck. Looking back on my decision to eat regular chinese food rather than get steamed veggies and broccolli and just adding some soy sauce was stupid. My stomach hurts, it hurt all night last night and I feel bloated and gross today. So what am I going to do next time, make the healthier choice. There are a couple people in my life who think if I eat anything bad at any time, Im killing myself. I enjoy not so good for you food sometimes. I like my carbs and gluten sometimes too- im italian! I have found that listening to people who don't know your life will never be able to make the best decisions for you. IN fact I just made ahuge life decision and left the human services field to go back to banking. Dont get me wrong, I was GREAT at dealing with people with disabilities and mental health issues. I could do that job with my eyes closed right now, but its not a good field to be in for both my health and mind! I have been injured 2x by clients in 4 years. I am currently dealing with a slipped disc, not because a client came after me but because we dont have the proper help, enough staff, etc. IT is literally like that everywhere, I know its because America is a little backwards and don't give enough support to this field. Anyways, I got a job at the old company I used to work for. Only this time, I have 5 more years of life experience and a drive in me that wants to be successful. Im driven to do well at this job because Ive spent so many years upset and no t knowing what to do. I will go back to human services someday but Im burnt out completely. I am excited to start a new journey. The positives of having normal hours at a job will be eating. I started eating so late at night with this job. So its just a time for changes. I want to start out at the bank healthy, energized and feeling good. I am going to plan to-go breakfasts weekly, make my lunch and line up a bunch of healthy crock pot meals for dinner. I also added biking in my life...which i am in love with right now :) Anyways, I wanted to write this blog to remind myself of how I feel when I eat crappy food and how I feel about changes in my life. Sometimes coming back to reflect on this gives me more motivation
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