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CMPEARL's Recent Blog Entries
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Monday, April 18, 2011
Since my relapse over the holidays, I've been fairly consistent here on sparkpeople, but there was still one area that I was holding out on: the nutritional tracker. I was using it sporadically at best and despite the things I had read from articles and other sparkers, just really wasn't buying into it as a weight loss tool. I am here to say, I am a changed woman. Maybe it is a happy coincidence that the scale is finally moving, but maybe all of this logging is making me more aware of what, when, and as a recovering emotional eater, WHY I am eating certain things. It has helped me stay honest and true to this journey and has also helped me be more forgiving of myself when I do slip. It is slightly obsessive? YES. But anything that helps me stay on track and bust through the 160's is worth my time and effort right now.
Which brings me to my original point...my favorite new number is the calories differential number. I've never had an issue tracking fitness as it is very straightforward and easy. When I track nutrition along with it, I can pop open my handy-dandy ipod spark app and pull up the CD report. And lately...it has been NEGATIVE and NEGATIVE in this case, feels oh so good!!! WOOHOOOO~HAPPY DANCE!!!! So good that I might add this to start a streak in my 'other goals' section. That negative means I am moving, I am using good fuel for my body to burn when I am moving, and the scale and measuring tape will continue to produce the results I want. So here's to another good week and my fun new obsession here on spark!


Friday, April 15, 2011
Looking through some of my favorite articles here on spark and came across this one titled "Going Through the Emotions"
http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/well ness_articles.asp?id=98
One of the biggest hurdles on this journey has been to be rid of the emotional eating monster. I was so used to stuffing him with food to shut him up and ignore whatever feeling I didn't want to feel, that he had become a much larger voice in my decisions than I wanted him to be. I gave up my control and pity partied with excessive amounts of my 3 'deadliest sins': cheese, pasta, and chocolate. I've managed over this last year to start to get a handle on these things and other comfort foods, enjoy them in moderation, and turn to other things for emotional release. And as I do the monster gets quieter and less in control. This paragraph sums it up perfectly:
"You can be the hammer, making things happen, or you can be the nail that sits there and gets pummeled over and over. If you’re starting to feel like a nail, it’s up to you to keep your program moving forward. Gather yourself together, draw a line in the sand and refuse to give in to the doubts and temptation to give in or quit."
I'm riding high on energy and weight loss/toning right now. I know that I won't always be on that high, so when I come down, I need to remember these words and this time in my journey so that I have the strength and courage to keep in control and more importantly continue kicking!


Thursday, April 14, 2011
I am back to weighing myself daily...I know that even if the scale budges in the wrong direction, it will not ruin my day. In turn, I know when it shrinks down that millimeter, it is complete justification for everything that I am doing...for pushing so hard and making this healthy lifestyle truly my own. I am into my size 10 jeans again after not being able to wear them from the holiday binges. I had a feeling there would be more good news to come. So this morning, I nearly jumped through the bathroom roof when I saw 165 on the dial. ONE-SIXTY-FIVE...YES!!!!!!! It is the magical 50 pounds lost number...the number that means new hair do and !!!!!
I am done being cautiously optimistic that the number will continue to fall. I KNOW that number will continue to fall. I'm taking all the steps I can to make sure that happens. I've been in the plateau land of 170-165 for one year and one month (not that I'm counting or anything LOL). Plateau land sucks...anyone that's been there can attest to that. For me it's like the desert...barren and dry and desperately uncomfortable. Walking through sand that feels more like quicksand as it bogs you down, slowly crippling your confidence and making your heart despair. Flashes of cool oasis and relief and rewards are just cruel, out-of-reach, torturous mirages. I'm finished with the wandering. I'm finished being blinded.
Today I am celebrating success and looking to continue through the 160s and into the 150s by the time I attend the Chicago U2 concert in early July. I WILL look hot...I WILL turn heads...I WILL show off my strong, toned body in an as skimpy as I dare outfit (that is somehow still age-appropriate...am working on that one!). I'm getting greedy and I want so much more than I've ever allowed myself to dream of over the course of this last year. I want to be through doing a great job of maintaining...I want that inner skinny, and more importantly FIT girl to shine again. I want her to bury the emotional eating monster once and for all. I want to look in the mirror, tell myself that I am worth all of this, and go get it. I'm finally able to allow myself to believe it...this is mine!


Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Turning another corner on this healthy lifestyle journey, and it feels so good! Meant to blog a little last night, but just ran out of time after having the boys outside after school until supper, and then to the gym for class, then back home for my late supper, getting boys ready for bed, showering, and relaxing a bit with hubby. PHEW...I'm tired all over again thinking about it! What I felt so fantastic about last night, besides the awesome group circuit training class that we had, was that I had to add a sweet dessert on the tail end of my supper to hit the LOW end of my calorie range!!! It is the first time since I've been tracking this year that I've had to do that. I couldn't believe me eyes when I punched in my supper and then saw that deficit...200 calories short for the day. I did not at any point feel hungry or deprived. It was good to know that I could indulge in a fun chocolate treat that I'd been saving for a while now.
That good feeling carried over to this morning. I decided against going to the gym to run on the treadmill and get out to enjoy the sunshine and cool weather. It's a bit of hurdle for me because I have that comfort zone with the treadmill. I can set my speed, see my time easily and know how much I have left. Of course, I can do that on my HRM watch too, but somehow I always talk myself out of outdoor running. Not today! I got on spark and mapped out my route around town, popped on my tank top, long sleeve workout shirt and capris and hit the road! I did not beat my PR of 36:19 and I did not jog the whole time. I also did not officially complete the 5k program here on spark. BUT, what I did accomplish was a time of 36:30 with two 1 minute walking breaks. I kept my heart rate up, and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I still have 4-5 sessions left for my spark trophy in completing the 5k program, and when I get that, I have another race scheduled for the first week of May.
Feeling the spark today!!! Make it a great one my friends!!!

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