fret

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

I don't know why I'm letting my performance at the Georgia Jewel depress me so, but it is.

I didn't even TRY to run the race, so I don't/can't know what I might have done if I had. I made the CHOICE to walk it with Terri; I don't regret that (and the experience), but now I'm doubting myself as an ultra runner.

Feeling more like a poseur, prentender, wanna be old, slow sloth.

I am not genetically or physically gifted as a (fast) runner.

I'm short and short legged. I tend more toward fat than lean (and have had a yo-yo weight cycle ever since adolescence. For instance, I've gained/lost over 100 pounds twice).

Extremely poor eyesight is also a factor in why technical trails are tricky and bothersome to me.

I am "not getting any younger", my peak years for progress and easy recovery are behind me.

I do not have the time in my life to run mega training miles (50/wk is about my max and not even my average these days)

I don't have much inclination to do much speed work (prefer to run for fun) or a coach to nudge me along.

Add to all that, the 100 mile race I had my eye on, Bartram Forest, has been cancelled for this year. As an alternative event (haven't heard back from Ancient Oaks), I am tentatively planning on doing a 24 hour run that same weekend in December, Camp Croft Epic Run in Spartansbirg SC; so, I will be attempting a major distance then, but will be somewhat shy of a 100.

The GA Jewel did show me, I'd be better off NOT doing a tough technical trail race for my first 100. I would enjoy something easier much more and be more sure of sucess. NO reason for me to push and try to prove myself the toughest old nanny goat on the mountain; I just want to be part of the flock of ultra folk. NOTHING wrong with saying I actually prefer doing little loop-de-loop courses rather than longer point to point or out and backs.

But none of those things are excuses for quitting (something I love doing).

How to make the most out of what I am? How can I get to a 100 mile attempt and finish on what/who I am?


Also...two days into a "new diet" and blech...I binged last night.

Why?
--the eggplant I had wanted to fix for dinner had gone bad. :(
--jar of peanut butter was sitting out in plain sight on the table (trigger food)
--am depressed about my running performance
--in particular, my ankle is feeling creaky
--also need to make another dentist's appt; tooth and gums are hurting again
--lonely, was at my apartment alone

I know. One eating binge does not define me. One slow race does not define me. But how to find the determination to move past them?

T 3.5 miles

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KRISZTA11 10/5/2011 4:53PM

You might be overreacting... Your strength and endurance is GREAT for any age group any any gender, most people will never achieve such level of fitness. I'm proud of you : ) Report Inappropriate Comment

ZIRCADIA 10/5/2011 12:16PM

First of all - this is post race blues. You placed in your AG - hello - you may not feel like OBJECTIVELY across all of runningdom that was a great performance, even for yourself, but think of it this way: Out of all ladies your age, you were the 2nd best one who decided to show up and go for it. You admitted the trail was super technical and you were maybe undertrained. No biggie - you still finished it!!! You've got great stuff coming down the line for you and your running and you are an ultra diva so don't let the times of the race get you down. You know that mile times are all relative when it comes to trail running because you never know what obstacles you're going to face. Also if you want to meet up to run my friend Yvonne and I go at a snails pace on weekend long runs. Might be too slow for you, which is why I'm warning about the pace! 12:30-13:30 is the general average. We're adding trails!!!! :) We did the Land Trust as you know last weekend, this weekend we're heading to the south and north plateau loop up on Monte Sano Sunday morning - 6AM meet time if I remember correctly. Saturday we're meeting at 5AM - yes, insanely early - to do 14 on the marathon course (from the school on Whitesburg by the tunnel and doing the whole south loop down bailey cove, meeting the half course, and back up whitesburg). These runs are more planned and definite on time than my weekday runs tend to be. I haven't been on the greenway when the WRH has been there in a WHILE. Report Inappropriate Comment

I have a great boyfriend

Monday, October 03, 2011

B. paid my race registration for the 2012 Mountain Mist 50K.

I was getting really (read: obsessively) worried about missing out on a spot for this event, but now I'm entered! And all that remains is to train well and diligently on the Monte Sano trails for the next 4 months and be ready for it!

M 5 miles

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MMINITEACH 10/3/2011 7:50PM

Amazing. I love that. Work hard! I can't wait to here how it all goes. It's going to be great! Report Inappropriate Comment

weekly weakly

Monday, October 03, 2011

This was the trail I did my recent 50 miler on. Someone else refered to it in their blog not as the "Georgia Jewel" but as the "Georgia Cruel". Yeah, that kind of was my experience too...

Took it easy this week recovering. Only logged 26.5 miles (and two gym sessions). Poison ivy is just about healed up (thank gawds). My ankle has been giving me a bit of trouble being achy.

Registration for the Mountain Mist 50K opened on Oct. 1 and is filling up. However, I have to wait til payday on Thursday for my bank account to fill up as well before I can afford the entry fee! Being a DNF there last two years is bad enough, but I really don't want to time-out and be a DNE (Did Not Enter). :( POUT. I was hoping that the third time would be my "charm" , but maybe this race and I are just cursed.

notes to self:
--I have GOT to lose some weight, and not just ditz around with the same 5-7 lbs back and forth. Goal: -10 lbs before December. Starting goal for this week: eat sensibly and keep calories between 1300-1500 per day.
--quit wearing worn out shoes to run in; retire 'em!

  

definition

Friday, September 30, 2011

ENDURANCE
The ability to withstand hardship or adversity.
The ability to sustain a prolonged and stressful effort or activity.
To undergo without giving in.
To regard with acceptance and tolerance.
To continue in the same state.
To remain firm without yielding.
To last.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KRISZTA11 10/5/2011 4:41PM

Thanks for sharing, inspiring thoughts! Report Inappropriate Comment

KEEPITUP05 9/30/2011 11:16PM

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missing out

Friday, September 30, 2011

minor pout...

Due to my work schedule (and the other longer events I've scheduled) I'm not going to get to do some of the upcoming local races I've enjoyed in the past.

NO Monte Sano 15K road race. (working)
NO Halloween Costume run or the Zombie walk. (working)

For those weekends I am not working in October, I have one family visit scheduled (visiting my daughter & grandson in TN, while my twin sister is also there), and one ultra to run.

NO Huntsville Half Marathon in November. (working)

I am going to have to make an effort to get to more of the weekly group training runs to see my local running buddies!

NO Dizzy 50's trail run in November (am volunteering at this race in the morning hours; didn't register to run because of a previous social obligation that afternoon, but I am running a marathon in TN the next day.)

NO Rocket City Marathon in December (am going to SC to do a 24 hour event instead)