Thursday, February 27, 2014
Ever have one of those days where everything you touch turns to excrement? Not in small ways. But in large, Irwin Allen production-type ways? When coming out of something with bandages is the least of your problems? When you really, really, really don't know why you keep going? When you're not sure tomorrow will be better? Or if it will ever get better? When you're pretty sure that the world would be better off without you dragging the earth's spin that extra little bit?
Yeah, it's been that kind of day. Before 10:30 in the morning, even. I feel stupid, worthless, and useless. It started with good intentions, and went on a speeding chariot to Tartarus. I'm going to go curl up and hope the world swallows me up whole. It would probably be the best thing I can hope for.
Saturday, February 08, 2014
Obviously, the Atkins is doing the trick! One month in and I'm just shy of 20 pounds down from the end of last year. My waist has shrunk 2 inches. My old jeans were so baggy that they were falling off. The belt I had been wearing was down 4 notches, and I didn't have much further to reel it in. So I scrounged in the back of the closet and found an old pair of jeans that I fit back into. They're women's jeans, which are generally too high-waisted for me. I basically have no waist to speak of (only about 1 1/2") so the waistband is pretty much on my last floating rib. But I'm wearing them again after, hmmm, at least six years. If not more. So I'm cautiously optimistic.
We're using the Atkins products - the meals, the shakes and the bars. Yep, I know that it's all processed. But it fits our lifestyle and keeps the "MUST HAVE SOMETHING SWEET" monster at bay. We're still in the induction phase. Really low carb count. But it's working. It's coming off quicker for me than for my Beloved. But we can see the results, so we're sticking to it.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
I've been doing the Atkins diet routine for 13 days now. Yes, yes, I know. Diets don't work. But the thing is that my doctor really needs my weight down sooner rather than later and the nutritionist said cut down the carbs until I start losing. I seem to be one of those lucky folks whose metabolism is made to store anything carb for the coming apocalypse... even if there isn't one. So, no matter what you may think of it, Atkins seems to be working for me at the moment. Once I get closer to a healthier weight, I'll find out where my carb set point is and go back to a more normal eating pattern.
But tonight, tonight I was about willing to sell my soul for something bad for me. I would have traded my virtue for a Kolache or a Krispy Creme doughnut. Fortunately, I'd picked up a box of the Atkins Double Chocolate Caramel bars as a treat, and my Beloved talked me down off the ledge and pried the car keys away from me with one hand while giving me a bar with the other. OH MY, it was wonderful! It was like something sinful and forbidden... And I completely disregarded what my diet mentor had told me about not listening to my stomach for at least 20 minutes after I've eaten.
Nope. My taste buds won and I lunged after another bar. It was just as marvelous as the first. Then suddenly... my stomach caught up with me. The Full ding that I'd failed to hear in my craving-mad lust jacked the signal to 12 and now I feel as if I'm going to pop.
Yep. The bars are tiny. And once upon a time I could have powered through all five bars in the box without pausing and still looked around for something more. But apparently my stomach IS shrinking. And two over-did it. I'm down 15 pounds, but my brain still seems to think like a fatter woman. However, this is one lesson learned. Ooff.
Thursday, January 09, 2014
Well, the holidays are behind us. They're always such a mixed bag for me, as I lost both parents over this period of time. So it's bittersweet. I'm a big Christmas junky and love decorating, but I miss being able to decorate with my Dad. Or cook with my Mom. But I soldered through. I dropped off SparkPeople for a bit because it was just too much of a time sink along with everything else. But this doesn't mean that it's been for naught. I'm down nearly eight pounds, despite the holiday temptations AND being taught to finally make a good apple pie from scratch.
This time I'm bringing my Beloved along on the crusade to lose weight. Though I doubt she'll be online here. It's all too "fiddly" for her. But at least I'm not doing it all by myself. So this morning we weighed ourselves, took our blood sugars and our blood pressures, and we're off to the races again. Hopefully we'll make a dent in our weight loss goals this year.
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