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Worship then and now.........

Monday, October 22, 2012

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CAT609 10/22/2012 7:19AM


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How to give a Cat a Pill (to educate those who have not yet tried it and to comfort those who have

Sunday, October 07, 2012

How to Give a Cat a Pill

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.

Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cats mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.
Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.
Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process..

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand.
Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.
Call spouse in from the garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws..
Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail.
Get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit.
Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans and drink one beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed.
Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.
Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink.
Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from the top of the tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.
Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Using heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed, tie the little *&#%^'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How To Give A Dog A Pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.

2. Toss it in the air.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STONECOT 10/10/2012 8:16AM

    My elder daughter has been a vetinary nurse for 25+ years, and it's like magic. One minute you have a pill and a cat, the next, a surprised looking cat and an empty hand. HOWEVER she is totally unable to work the trick on one of her three, and has to get the other nurse to do it instead! emoticon

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CAYCESMOM 10/7/2012 7:14PM

    That is SO funny!!!! I am at work and I am crying from laughing so hard!

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LINDA7668 10/7/2012 9:11AM

    Sounds like you have you watched me try to pill my aggressive cat! So funny but so true. emoticon

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Emotional versus Physical Hunger

Saturday, October 06, 2012

I have just finished reading Paul McKenna's ''I Can Make You Thin" It appealed to me tremendously on first reading, and I loved the CD that came with the book. The idea that no foods were off limits and one can eat what one likes when one likes sounded SO very liberating. However, his main golden rule, to eat only when truly hungry, is a non-starter for me at present. Having spent so many years eating from what was obviously emotional hunger of one sort or another rather than REAL physical hunger I do not trust myself enough to abandon what I've been doing here on Spark People. I understand (intellectually) how to differentiate between the two types of hunger but when it comes down to it I don't think I have enough will power (even though McKenna says its nothing to do with will power) to resist eating when emotional hunger occurs. I am not going to jeopordise the weight loss progress I've achieved so far on Spark. So I am going to plod on with what I'm doing, tracking my calories, daily walking and enjoying my life. When (and its when, not if) I reach my goal weight, that's when I might re-read McKenna's book and have a go at maintaining my goal weight with his ideas.

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SLENDERELLA61 10/7/2012 7:36AM

    I've been maintaining an 80+ pound loss for 185 weeks now. I still have to track. I cannot tell when I am full, I have to look at the tracker! And that's even when I'm not dealing with any emotional issues.

So if you can switch to intuitive eating, great. But if you can't, you can still live at the healthy weight you love. Take care. -Marsha

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STONECOT 10/6/2012 11:08AM

    Paul McKenna worked brilliantly for me. I lost 3 stones. I found that it became difficult to keep up though, the portion sizes kept slowly increasing. It did however give me the freedom to eat whatever I fancied, and that I still do. The hypnotherepy CD is worth using even if you keep calorie counting, I found it really changed my self belief and confidence, it took about 4 weeks of daily listening to really make a difference. Every time things get out of control I go back to it. Whatever works for you I guess. I cannot count calories, I get quickly obsessed with the numbers.

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LEVELPATHS 10/6/2012 7:31AM

    I agree! It's a good theory, but eating only when you're hungry is so impractical, especially when you have to cook for someone else too.

I recently read that eating regular snacks might be good for you, but I decided against it, because just eating three meals a day has become a habit for me now, and a very good way of limiting the amount I eat even when not dieting. As for snacks... well... a few nuts could become a whole bag so easily and that'd be my diet blown...

Have a good weekend!

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Cats and Laundry baskets!

Saturday, September 29, 2012

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PAMNANGEL 9/29/2012 7:28PM


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MRE1956 9/29/2012 4:44PM

    gotta love kitties!

emoticon = emoticon

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QUIETRIOT1 9/29/2012 4:35PM

    I am a huge cat lover and mine does this all the time. She actually burrows into the stuff and stays there until I kick her out so I can fold it. I bet I have well over 100 cat photos between mine and those of my friends

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ALICIA214 9/29/2012 1:17PM


Love it!!! emoticon

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Dog News!

Thursday, September 27, 2012

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JILLITA55 9/27/2012 4:45PM

    Have fun! Great pics

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MYLAUREN2 9/27/2012 4:44PM

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KFQUILTER 9/27/2012 4:44PM

    Love it.

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