Friday, May 06, 2011
I have never blogged before....so here it goes
In May of 2009 I made a change, a choice. I had no idea it would transform my body, my mind, my outlook on life and my soul.
Prior to the "change", I was 371 pounds. I was happy, or so I thought. I existed....but I never lived. I never went to sporting events or anyplace where I worried if I would "fit" into the chairs. I worried some misbehaved kid in the next row was going to make a "fat" comment in my direction. I wondered how I would deal with that with my daughter sitting beside me.
I'd be lying if I said I never thought about what it would be like to lose weight. Sure, I wanted nicer clothes and to look good in them - but I never really minded being overweight. I know now that I didn't mind, because I didn't know any better.
Once I had gave birth to my baby girl, anxiety set in. I worried that I would die suddenly, like my Dad did when I was only 3 months pregnant. The older my baby got, the more I worried. I went to countless doctors and demanded tests. I needed to know if I was "on my way out". The doctors all said I was fine...but I just didn't believe them!! I continued to worry...in silence. I never really shared my fears with anyone. Guess I was too embarrassed. Look at this face....you would worry , too!
So, Mothers Day 2009 - the day my transformation began. I started by eliminating all fast food and all fried food. I lost 11 pounds in 7 days. By the end of 30 days, I had lost 23 pounds. I cut my calories intake from Lord knows the amount to 1300 a day. I began walking 2 miles a day , 3 days a week. By the sixth month, I had lost 67 pounds. HA! I thought I was lookin' good! I was feeling good, that is for sure.
So, I began adding some at home dvd workouts to my routine, still keeping on with my calorie counting. Ten months into the journey, I had lost 100 pounds. I could not believe it!!! I even signed up & completed my first 10 k in New Orleans.
In the 12th month of my journey, I finally joined a gym. I just never had the nerve. Its kinda crazy....you should go to a gym to get in shape & lose weight.....but I had the mentality that I had to lose weight before I could join!! Again, fear of what people would say/think. When, in all actuality, none of that mattered.
My journey continued on. In month 17 I had lost a total of 156 pounds. I was feeling so pretty, so healthy. So excited.
So, I was working my tail off in the gym 5 to 6 days a week, eating within my calorie range...and my weight loss came to a screeching halt! Frustration set in so quickly! I worked harder and harder. But, still, minimal changes. I think I lost inches and not pounds.....but damn it! I wanted to be under 200 pounds - a place I had not been about 23 years!!!
Finally, in the 22nd month of my journey, I entered ONEDERLAND!! My 174th pound lost put me under 200 pounds. I weighed in at 197 pounds and I was elated.
And I completed my 2nd 10k in New Orleans - beating last years time by 30 minutes!
So, now what? I will keep on working just as hard has ever. I am bound to see results someday. I am asked all the time if I feel better or have more energy. I say, that I feel strong - like there isn't anything I can't do. I look back and this and think, "I did this....with the grace of God and my hard work... I DID THIS". How rewarding that is. I feel accomplished. I feel alive. I feel blessed. Because, I know, in the beginning of all of this, I never really believed I was worth it - worth the time or the effort. I then thought, even if I didn't believe I was worth it, my daughter was. Now, all these months later, I KNOW that I am worth it, too!
Thanks for reading....God Bless!
P.S. I also NEED to say that my journey was not tackled alone! Those of you know me, know my beautiful sister, Dawn (smartlady66). Dawn started her journey 8 months before me. She led the way. We went through this, and still do, together - day in and day out. I love you Dawn!