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Friday Morning

Friday, June 05, 2009

Friday is possibly the worst day of the week for me. But yesterday, I stayed around my calories without bingeing, and I plan to do the same today. This is the last day of this quarter, so I'm really happy I get to relax for the next couple of weeks.
I'm planning on salad for dinner, and a smoothie for breakfast, and I don't know what for lunch. Not much of a plan, really. These blogs probably aren't as amusing right now as they will be once I've managed to stay consistent for a few weeks. I figure I'm prepping now for the father visit. Monday is my weigh in day, so I'm going to be really, really on top of things this weekend.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAYLINSTEPHENS 6/6/2009 7:28PM

    One day at a time.

I know you can do this! Now you need to believe you can do this!

Hugs,
Linda

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BEACHINN 6/5/2009 11:51AM

    Good job!

Even though I love amusing posts, I think I'd rather read success stories. Both are good tho...so keep doing good stuff!

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Thursday Noon

Thursday, June 04, 2009

See where I'm going with this? Habit, habit, habit.
I'm about to go make lunch!
And now, while I eat my lunch, I'm going to think about my goals. I'm committed to this for the next four days - three and a half days. I'm going to focus on just this, and then I'll move forward. Monday Morning, I have to give a test, Tuesday, two tests. Then I foresee and week and a half of weight loss. Then my father comes into town and all is lost!
So I can't think that far ahead. Four days.
Anyway, I'm trying to figure out why I want to do this. First, obesity runs in the family. Second, I'm terribly vain. Third, tied up in vanity, one of my "friends" is always comparing our weights. I'll show her! Grudge match! Fourth, my best friend is coming into town in August, and I don't want him to think I've gotten old and frumpy. I figure if I have four very diverse reasons, then I'll have one for every occasion.
Today, I need to go for a run, go grocery shopping, and grade papers. I have time for all those things. I will not scoot the run over to make time for writing or drawing or anything else.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAYLINSTEPHENS 6/6/2009 7:22PM

    emoticon

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ADONVDO1 6/4/2009 3:45PM

    Well, good luck trying to figure out why you want to do this emoticon! I think the best reason is for yourself--to start taking good care of yourself because you deserve it. But, then again, that is not always the reason that we all have! lol! Of course we want to look better! That is good. Anyways, hang in there, and I think that taking things as slowly as you have to is a good idea. One day at a time or even slower, if you need to. Also, try to let your family know your goals, and if they try to sabotage your efforts, do not let them!

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Thursday Morning

Thursday, June 04, 2009

All right then. No sense in making myself totally miserable. Its a new day and all that. I wouldn't naturally be thing this way, but all the kind people who left comments on my blog can be very persuasive. :)
So then, I don't feel totally confident, but I do feel ... moderately confident. I can get past this hump. I'm going to set myself a small streak of four days. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, I will stay focused, eat carefully, and work out consistently. That will maybe help me get my momentum back.
And now - ta da - I want to flesh out a hypothesis I've got. Rambling Ahead.
I'm thinking that I may have lost my sense of self. I wonder about the connection between self image and weight gain. Formerly, I always felt in control of my life and how people perceive me. Since I've moved, and some other stuff has happened, I've felt less in control of my identity. I don't know how people perceive me, and I don't like that I can't control it anymore.
I do know that I see myself as chubby, frizzy, without willpower, frumpy.
As a frumpy teacher, it doesn't matter what I eat or what I look like.
Since I'm no longer a student, I'm no longer experimenting or growing. (Oof - that one hit home).
emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAYLINSTEPHENS 6/6/2009 7:15PM

    It doesn't matter how others perceive you.

It only matters how you feel about yourself.

You have value. You have worth. You must believe in yourself.

You can do this, One day at a time.

Hugs,
Linda

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Wednesday Night

Thursday, June 04, 2009

So I still haven't found my momentum. It is very discouraging to stay within my calories for two or three days, then spend three or four days eating a thousand calories over. Sigh. Especially because I had lost two pounds, then I gained them back! What sort of madness seizes me???
Tonight, it was the guacamole, chocolate cake, fondue madness.
The avocados were turning - I baked the cake out of odds and ends - and I still had cheese from the cheese factory.
It all seemed so innocent at the time.
And now I'm stuffed. I feel pathetic. Like Cathy (the cartoon?). How pathetic to be Cathy of all things.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAYLINSTEPHENS 6/6/2009 7:14PM

    One day at a time.

Baby steps.

Forgive yourself and try try try again.

You can do this, One day at a time.

Hugs,
Linda

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CHIKAZ 6/4/2009 8:48AM

    It can be hard sometimes, yes. But we all make mistakes. You just need to realize there's nothing you can do about yesterday, but today is a whole new day. This is a place I seem to find myself every weekend. But I know that if I take it one step at a time, I will get there. And so can you! You can do this! I know you can.

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WILLBOYWONDER 6/4/2009 6:42AM

    Oh my gosh, I know exactly how you feel. That ďCathyĒ feeling is what guilts me into skipping that red velvet cake or keeps me from being lazy and avoiding my exercise. When we are going through it, we donít even notice it. Itís afterwards, thatís when it hits you. I find that feeling is a horrible one.

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WITHOUT34 6/4/2009 2:05AM

  new beginnings everyday!!! you've already beat yourself up, now give yourself a hug. We all go through it. Gets easier everyday

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Monday Morning

Monday, June 01, 2009

Things always seem abundantly clear to me on Mondays - why did I go to the cheese factory for a tour and ice cream? Why did I go out for dinner, have two huge beers and eat EVERYTHING? Why did I come home and continue to eat .. wait for it ... half a log of cheese?????
It was habanero cheese and I was drunk!
Sigh. The weekends are not good for me. I need to come up with a plan, but I get very testy when my weekends are visited by anything unpleasant, even a diet of my own choosing.
:(
So I've got t get out of this cycle of evil over the weekends. During the week, at least, I can rely on myself to be as good as gold. On the weekend, I'm like a different person completely!
Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde! Dr. Me and Madame Cookie!
Anyway. I will conquer the weekends.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ONMYWAYTOGOAL 6/2/2009 8:41AM

    You can get your weekends under control. I've had weekends like yours and then I've felt terrible and frustrated come monday. Recently, I've been working harder at drinking extra water and trying to plan ahead ...one day at a time. I "tasted" the graduation cake last saturday, and we had our son's 6th birthday party.on sunday. It all went well, and did I eat too much?? It sure felt like it, but.... Did I stay within my kcal range...yes! Because I exercised and did a little meal planning. You can do it too!!!! emoticon

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HPLANDER 6/2/2009 8:10AM

    I don't know if this would work for you, but I work out hard on Friday and Saturday morning and then eat anything I want on Saturdays. This has worked wonderfully for me. Then Sunday morning I am back on the wagon.

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CHIKAZ 6/2/2009 7:57AM

    I have this same problem. I can do well all week, but it's just something about the weekends. It is a lot harder to stay on track when you're out with friends or family and you seem to be the only one that is watching what you're eating. One thing I've found that helps me is that if I know I will be going out to dinner somewhere I plan accordingly. I'll have a light lunch that day and maybe get in a little extra cardio if I can. Yesterday I thought would be a disaster because I had 700 calories for lunch! 700! Well, I had a nice light dinner instead and I still ended up coming under my calories for the day.

You will prevail!

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_VALEO_ 6/2/2009 3:50AM

    I could rely to that! While I was doing great during the week, my weekends were... hectic -not to say more!
I realized I was planning very well my weeks, but not my weekends. So I've decided to cook all my weekends meals in advance.
Like Will, I don't have any "forbidden" food, I eat a bit of cheese everyday, and chocolate -in moderation- once in a while, thus frustration is no longer there.

You'll conquer the weekends!

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 6/1/2009 2:47PM

    Will is right. I have heard of the 1 bite rule. It is even ok to stretch it to 2 bites on occasion.

But not if it is a trigger food.

Just keep trying, you will get there.

Hugs,
Linda

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WILLBOYWONDER 6/1/2009 12:07PM

    I have had that problem too. I donít know if this will work for you but what works for me is, rather than totally try and restrict something, I allow for it in my diet. I enjoy a cookie (either a chocolate chip cookie or an oatmeal raisin cookie). Rather than not eat them at all, I have conditioned myself to have just one. I eat one with dinner and Iím good. My fixed has been served. Same for Fritos. I have a handful rather than an entire serving. That satisfies me. So, maybe try that. Having a taste of something can really go a long way.

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