Thursday, November 17, 2011
Today I went walking/jogging again but I did not go willingly. My ass made me do it.
Me: It is cold outside! I do not want to go out and walk 2.2 miles in this chilly wind!
My ass: Sure, okay, let's sit around and I'll keep you warm with my tremendous fat deposits!
Me: Big Fat Ass, that does not make me feel better!
Ass: Well, it shouldn't.
Me: *consideringly* ...but I really don't want to go out in the chilly November-in-Wisconsin wind, either.
Thighs: We can keep you warm by rubbing together as you walk!
Me: Thunder thighs, this does not make me feel better either!
Ass: Uh, duh? You want to feel better? Get off of me and let's get outside where I can jiggle as you run.
Me: *sullenly pulling on sweats*
Belly: Yeah! I want to bounce around flabbily and I'm not doin' it sitting around here with Big Fat Ass and Thunder Thighs!
Me: *grumpy* I'm going, I'm going, but...
Ass: Yeah, butt all right. Now get out there, fat girl, and run!
Me: *putting on shoes* I will not miss you when you are gone, Big Fat Ass.
Ass: I won't miss you either. Now get out there!
Me: *2.2 miles in 37 minutes later* Yeah! That was great and I feel good!
Thursday, November 03, 2011
Normally I go to the Y but I've had three days off in a row (doesn't happen much) and I didn't want to drive all that way every day if I didn't have work, too. So instead I went for a walk yesterday and today. Two-and-a-half/three miles each day.
Today, I actually ran in short burst. I had to talk myself into that. I kept looking to see if anybody could see me--and I wouldn't run on the street, just on the walking/bike path. I'm still almost two hundred pounds and only five foot three. I jiggle. I flap. It's one thing when I'm on the adaptive-motion-machine...it's very low impact. Running? Yeah, I can feel the fat bounce. And I think I have some exercise induced incontienence. So I didn't want to run. I had to keep telling myself 'WHO CARES?'. Who cares what I look like as I run? Who cares what anybody thinks of me as I do this?
So. I jiggle when I run, my fat bounces, I pee a bit when I run hard. I did three seventeen-minute-miles and I felt great. Run, fat-girl, run! It feels good!
(It's been a while since I've updated--and I've not friended anybody. I'm awful in social situations. Sorry.)
Friday, August 05, 2011
Yesterday I weighed myself (as it was weigh-day). Yesterday I thought 'if I can keep losing two pounds a week, by my birthday I will be overweight instead of obese'. Yesterday I thought 'yeah! I can make an appointment for a physical for that day and show Dr. P a better me!'
Today I skipped my cardio. Partially because I couldn't go early (was waiting for a repair guy) and partially because an online buddy popped on and we chatted. I knew I had to leave for the Y if I wanted to work out before going to my job. I knew I wouldn't have time AFTER because I get off too late. I stayed around anyhow.
I have a fear of success. I sabotage myself in small ways. I lost four pounds in week one and got LESS excited about going to work out. I lost two pounds in week two and am skipping a day of cardio. 'Oh, I did extra yesterday' doesn't matter--I know I will sabotage myself and keep doing it. 'It's okay if I miss a little, I'm over!' will end up with me being under. And then WAY under. I set a goal and I think I got afraid of making it, doing it, being it, so I'm setting myself up for a big, fat failure. In small, sneaky ways.
So tomorrow I'm going to do my cardio after work. I'm going to do a bit extra to make up for today. And on Sunday I'm going to do my cardio. Then again on Monday. I'm not going to let myself do this again. I am NOT going to give myself the chance to fail. If I'm going to quit losing weight it's because I hit a plateau, not because I didn't give myself the time to exercise.
Knock it off, me. This time you're not getting away with it.
Wednesday, August 03, 2011
I was thinking of calling this entry: Yes Sir, That's My Back-Fat but decided against it.
Today at the Y after I did my 30 minutes on the machines (a Precor 100i Adaptive-Motion thing that's a lot like the mutant offspring of a stepper and an elliptical) I went to shower and change. I took off my sweaty shirt and turned it right-side out again and noticed something.
On the back, marked out in sweat, you could see a perfect outline of my backfat and other excess weight areas.
I admit, I stared for a minute.
And then I laughed out loud because at least THIS TIME I was all sweaty and gross and making a pattern on my shirt for a very, very good reason.
Yes Sir, That's My Back Fat. Take a picture, it's not always going to be there.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
I'm having a hard time meeting my calorie intake goals. I'm also trying to watch my pie-charts and make sure that they're close to the recommended balances.
For example? Today's fat was high. Why? Because I ate pizza. A lot of pizza. I skipped my morning snack, was ravenous, and had half a pizza. I didn't even WANT the last slice I ate but I ate it anyway. I don't know why I did. And I felt kind of like crap after--greasy and heavy.
I'm still within my daily goals for each thing--but it's hard getting there for calories. I think part of my problem is that the healthy stuff is so filling but it's also lower in calories. But eating better DOES make me feel better. So I'm going to have to find a way to make them a little more calorie dense. AND to up my fiber. I'm close to 25g a day most days but I'm supposed to be between 25-35.
Ah, well, tomorrow I can study up!
Get An Email Alert Each Time CIRCE_NOT_XL Posts