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Talking to my ass

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Today I went walking/jogging again but I did not go willingly. My ass made me do it.

Me: It is cold outside! I do not want to go out and walk 2.2 miles in this chilly wind!

My ass: Sure, okay, let's sit around and I'll keep you warm with my tremendous fat deposits!

Me: Big Fat Ass, that does not make me feel better!

Ass: Well, it shouldn't.

Me: *consideringly* ...but I really don't want to go out in the chilly November-in-Wisconsin wind, either.

Thighs: We can keep you warm by rubbing together as you walk!

Me: Thunder thighs, this does not make me feel better either!

Ass: Uh, duh? You want to feel better? Get off of me and let's get outside where I can jiggle as you run.

Me: *sullenly pulling on sweats*

Belly: Yeah! I want to bounce around flabbily and I'm not doin' it sitting around here with Big Fat Ass and Thunder Thighs!

Me: *grumpy* I'm going, I'm going, but...

Ass: Yeah, butt all right. Now get out there, fat girl, and run!

Me: *putting on shoes* I will not miss you when you are gone, Big Fat Ass.

Ass: I won't miss you either. Now get out there!

Me: *2.2 miles in 37 minutes later* Yeah! That was great and I feel good!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEZZIEJAMES 11/18/2011 1:33PM

    *giggle* Way to go!!!!
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HEYBUTT 11/17/2011 3:36PM

    Hilarious!

It's nice that your fat is so encouraging (mine's so lazy and just wants to watch t.v.)

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Run, Fat-girl, run!

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Normally I go to the Y but I've had three days off in a row (doesn't happen much) and I didn't want to drive all that way every day if I didn't have work, too. So instead I went for a walk yesterday and today. Two-and-a-half/three miles each day.

Today, I actually ran in short burst. I had to talk myself into that. I kept looking to see if anybody could see me--and I wouldn't run on the street, just on the walking/bike path. I'm still almost two hundred pounds and only five foot three. I jiggle. I flap. It's one thing when I'm on the adaptive-motion-machine...it's very low impact. Running? Yeah, I can feel the fat bounce. And I think I have some exercise induced incontienence. So I didn't want to run. I had to keep telling myself 'WHO CARES?'. Who cares what I look like as I run? Who cares what anybody thinks of me as I do this?

So. I jiggle when I run, my fat bounces, I pee a bit when I run hard. I did three seventeen-minute-miles and I felt great. Run, fat-girl, run! It feels good!

(It's been a while since I've updated--and I've not friended anybody. I'm awful in social situations. Sorry.)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JEANETTESTING 12/5/2011 12:21PM

    You are awesome! I have been considering going out at night for "short burst jogging" because I feel physically I can handle it but if I see anyone looking at me and especially laughing at me, I would be done. I think the cover of the dark would make it easier for me :) This fat girl will be running next to you in spirit!

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STARTINGOVER-11 11/17/2011 12:52PM

    OMG your post made me laugh - the way your write is great

Good on you for doing it anyway - you are totally right that no one cares what you look like. In most cases they are looking at you and thinking wow I wish I could do that

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SUE5007 11/3/2011 5:15PM

    Good for you! Fake it 'til you make it...you might have a runner in you after all. ;)

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ILUVTOTAT 11/3/2011 3:45PM

    I know just what you're saying. I think it's absolutely fantastic that you're running anyway. It all happens to me, too, but I've learned to love to run.

Add a panty liner, get a good sturdy running bra and keep on going! I highly suggest you try the Couch to 5K program (C25K). It's an amazing program...starts small, and it eases you into running. Even better, it's free!

Great job on finding an alternate exercise when your regular exercise fell through.

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Must give self a talking-to

Friday, August 05, 2011

Yesterday I weighed myself (as it was weigh-day). Yesterday I thought 'if I can keep losing two pounds a week, by my birthday I will be overweight instead of obese'. Yesterday I thought 'yeah! I can make an appointment for a physical for that day and show Dr. P a better me!'

Today I skipped my cardio. Partially because I couldn't go early (was waiting for a repair guy) and partially because an online buddy popped on and we chatted. I knew I had to leave for the Y if I wanted to work out before going to my job. I knew I wouldn't have time AFTER because I get off too late. I stayed around anyhow.

I have a fear of success. I sabotage myself in small ways. I lost four pounds in week one and got LESS excited about going to work out. I lost two pounds in week two and am skipping a day of cardio. 'Oh, I did extra yesterday' doesn't matter--I know I will sabotage myself and keep doing it. 'It's okay if I miss a little, I'm over!' will end up with me being under. And then WAY under. I set a goal and I think I got afraid of making it, doing it, being it, so I'm setting myself up for a big, fat failure. In small, sneaky ways.

So tomorrow I'm going to do my cardio after work. I'm going to do a bit extra to make up for today. And on Sunday I'm going to do my cardio. Then again on Monday. I'm not going to let myself do this again. I am NOT going to give myself the chance to fail. If I'm going to quit losing weight it's because I hit a plateau, not because I didn't give myself the time to exercise.

Knock it off, me. This time you're not getting away with it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LILBITWANNABE 8/9/2011 7:59AM

    I JUST posted a blog about feeling like yoyo. I have a good week, then do the same thing, ugh! I know once we keep a routine and just stick to a plan-all will work the way it's supposed to. You have a great attitude and you're trying to understand why you pivot sometimes and that's a great step in the right direction!!

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JESSIE72980 8/8/2011 4:12PM

    Oh I know exactly what you mean. I am sneaky when it comes to self sabotage also! I actually ate theater popcorn this weekend, and I KNEW I would let it cause me to fail. I was thinking ahead about how I would be a failure because of a few handfuls of popcorn. Almost planning it, but not. Anyways, my boyfriend got me out at 11pm last night to walk/jog and the popcorn issue was DONE. I know I couldn't let some stupid popcorn be the reason I didn't meet my goals. So, here I am! I hope you're still sparkling!

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I am a gross mess

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

I was thinking of calling this entry: Yes Sir, That's My Back-Fat but decided against it.

Today at the Y after I did my 30 minutes on the machines (a Precor 100i Adaptive-Motion thing that's a lot like the mutant offspring of a stepper and an elliptical) I went to shower and change. I took off my sweaty shirt and turned it right-side out again and noticed something.

On the back, marked out in sweat, you could see a perfect outline of my backfat and other excess weight areas.

I admit, I stared for a minute.

And then I laughed out loud because at least THIS TIME I was all sweaty and gross and making a pattern on my shirt for a very, very good reason.

Yes Sir, That's My Back Fat. Take a picture, it's not always going to be there.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEOKATE 8/3/2011 1:25AM

    That is a fantastic way to put it into perspective. Good job!

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Ugh.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

I'm having a hard time meeting my calorie intake goals. I'm also trying to watch my pie-charts and make sure that they're close to the recommended balances.

For example? Today's fat was high. Why? Because I ate pizza. A lot of pizza. I skipped my morning snack, was ravenous, and had half a pizza. I didn't even WANT the last slice I ate but I ate it anyway. I don't know why I did. And I felt kind of like crap after--greasy and heavy.

I'm still within my daily goals for each thing--but it's hard getting there for calories. I think part of my problem is that the healthy stuff is so filling but it's also lower in calories. But eating better DOES make me feel better. So I'm going to have to find a way to make them a little more calorie dense. AND to up my fiber. I'm close to 25g a day most days but I'm supposed to be between 25-35.

Ah, well, tomorrow I can study up!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LILBITWANNABE 8/9/2011 7:56AM

    Sometimes I have a hard time getting my calories in too, without going over in other categories, but as time goes on and I learn more; it gets easier! Just stick to it, keep trying, and you'll get it!:)

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KCATHY 8/2/2011 10:46AM

    I'm doing pretty well with calories, but I have fits getting enough healthy food into the mix, too! Good luck to you with this one!

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DEZZIEJAMES 8/1/2011 2:11PM

    It is good you are aware of this! It is good you are trying to learn how to adjust it to make it work out better! You will get the hang of it! I am certain!!!

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JO88BAKO 7/31/2011 12:19AM

    Just keep working and studying your intake. It's not hard once you understand it! Keep up the good work, you can do it.

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