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Tough Weekend

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Mom called me Thursday to tell me that Uncle Mel was in the hospital in Panama City. Apparently, he had nearly bled to death due to a ruptured ulcer. He is in an induced coma. The prognosis is good, but guarded. He is 72 and when they attempted to bring him out of the coma he tries to pull out all of the tubes. We are all praying.

I am leaving tomorrow to spend time with Mom and to see Uncle Mel and Aunt Myrtle, who is still in the nursing home. The reality is setting in that she won't ever get to go home again. It is so hard to see my Mom (who is the baby) watch her whole family become aged and ill. I know it is all a part of life, but it is very sad.

I did two good things for myself. Although, I probably should have put off the first until I returned next week. I went Friday and was hypnotized for smoking cessation. I am down to roughly 6-10 cigarettes a day. The hypnotist suggested that I wait until I returned from the trip ( due to the stress), but I insisted. I think if I hadn't been so upset I would be completely smoke free right now.

I also signed up for the photography class that I have been wanting to take forever. I am so excited. It won't start until March. I simply cannot wait!

I have been watching my calorie intake. I have been busy working and have not had the time, nor inclination to exercise. It is my plan to get started on Friday. Friday is my D-Day. My DO day! I have every intention of getting back on the program in a proper way.

Mom lives in a tiny town. She does not have a computer and I don't think any of her friends or our family has one, either. So, I will be off-line until Thursday or Friday.

Wish me lulck and say a few prayers!


A FAIR day today

Thursday, January 25, 2007

I did wake up today feeling better. I had a very good night at work last night which helped improve the blues before I went to bed.. I also woke up one pound lighter. That improved my spirits immediatly.
I had a very healthy breakfast with Kim, took the grandbeauties to school, napped a little and then we went to the County Fair. Oh My Gosh! We were there for two hours and I dropped a cool hundred dollars!
They loved it and I got some very good pictures of them. I was very proud of them for being so brave on the rides, but most especially, Lexie as she is only four and last year she was afraid of most of them.
We walked and walked. They wanted an elephant ear and I had a few bites, but I actually walked away from all of that fabulous, aromatic and delicious (fattening, sugar filled and mostly fried) fair food without a second thought. That felt good.
I had intentions of doing one of the Lotte Berk work-outs, but my legs are weary after working last night and walking so much today. I will guestimate my exercise for the day and call it quits.
I am going for hypnotherapy tomorrow to help me quit smoking. That in itself probably improved my frame of mind. I know Danny won't quit and that makes it very hard, but I have to have faith and willpower. Everything will fall in place.


Feeling a little blue today

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

I am struggling today. It is dreary outside. I haven't had the gumption to exercise and I just feel blahh. I feel as if I am caught in a catch 22. I an so disgusted with smoking, but I know what I am in for if I quit and I simply don't have the energy. I miss being smoke free and I kick myself every day for picking up that nasy habit again.
I am working toward returning to healthier eating, but the weight is remaining pretty much the same. On the upside, I haven't gained anything.
I just feel uncomfortable in my own skin right now and nothing is making me feel much better about that. I am hoping I will wake up tomorrow and I will not feel quite so drained.


The second day of the rest of my life

Monday, January 22, 2007

How do I feel? My legs and feet ache. I was hoping that I would be use to working a double on Sundays by now. It has been over six months since I started this job and my aching feet are just as unimpressed now as they were in June.
I am spending my day setting up my workout room. We have aleady moved the ellyptical in there. I could exercise anywhere, but I want the place I am exercising in to be quiet and inviting.
I could really use a good massage but I can't have that until tomorrow. I may try one of the Lotte Burke workout DVD's a little later. That should help stretch out my tired muscles. It will also kick my ass harder than working out on the ellyptical for an hour.
I am happy about getting back on track, but the smoking is literally like a huge dark cloud that is hanging over my head. I just need to move on. Take one step at a time. I may have it backwards as far as getting my body healthy and fit first before quitting, but that is my plan of attack. Good thing I am not an army strategist!


I am back

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Well, I did it to myself. I not only began smoking again, but I gained a few pounds in the process. I am so glad I finally got back to the computer. SP is exactly what I needed, but I was embarrassed about smoking and I was very angry with myself. I have gotten over that and decided to take control of my life again.
I still want to run that marathon for my 49th. I should be off the cigarettes by then. That will make my training much easier.
I continued to work out. I have to give myself a pat on the back for that. My eating habits remained pretty healthy even though I wasn't logging on to SP. I just need to return to the healthy habits I had.


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