Thursday, June 22, 2006
I know I am still substituting food for cigarettes. I catch myself half the time when I am shoving food in my mouth. The good news is that I am making smart choices. I will pick up an apple, orange, rice cake or 100 calorie bag of popcorn. I don't feel as guilty and it relieves the craving for the time being.
I am bound and determined to do it this time. I would rather eat than smoke. I have made it to my pre-smoking weight as of my weigh in today. I am ecstatic about that. It felt as if I would never get there.
I may feel that my food intake is sometimes out of control, but the fact that I have lost eleven pounds in the last six months shows that I am thinking about my choices. I just need to give myself a pat on the back, a quick hug and move on.
I have such a terrible habit of kicking myself. If I can improve upon my self-critical nature I will have won a major battle. I truly am my own worst enemy.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
I hurt my groin muscle Thursday of last week. I stretched it out often and I did not attempt to work out on Friday. I worked on Saturday at the restaurant and I pulled a double on Sunday.
I woke up on Saturday and seriously considered working out, but I thought better of it. I knew I would be getting a lot of exercise running on that tile floor.
I think that was one of my smartest decisions I have made in a while. I finished work on Sunday at 11:00 PM and my legs and feet were so sore. I got home and took a hot shower, placed pillows under my knees and feet and tried to sleep. I wasn't very successful, but my lower body felt a little better when I got up yesterday.
I did not work out yesterday, either. Again, my legs and feet did not feel as if they were up to it.
DJ (son-in-law) has the pool up and running after the long weekend of rain. I hope to have a chance to do a short thiry minute workout and then a few minutes of swimming tonight.
It has been so hard to stay off that darned elliptical. It has been calling my name.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
I left work yesterday with a migraine. I woke up this morning and it was still with me. I am glad that I have them so infrequently.
It began to subside around 11:00. I got up and worked out, sometimes that actually makes it go away. It did not hurt or help the migraine. But I felt better knowing that I had done something positive.
Rain, rain and more blessed rain. Alberto was not scarey. I felt like we were blessed to see the first TS of the season. They said it put out eighteen wildfires statewide today. I am so thankful. We have been desperate for rain in this area. It also helped me sleep the migraine off.
My eating was out of control. I seem to think that eating will make the headache stop. Again, if I have not eaten that does work, sometimes. But not garbage and that is what I put in my body today. Oh well, there is always tomorrow.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
I am so dissapointed for my husband. He started smoking again while he was in Kentucky. I don't want to make him feel bad. I know how hard it is to quit.
There are times I still have terrible urges for a smoke. How can I give him a hard time? How many times did I quit and start again? It became a running joke in the family. No one really believed that I would quit for good. I feel that it is permanent this time, but I am sure I felt that way before.
I just worry about him. What is the point of making it to to old age if you have emphysema or a stroke that debilitates you? I want us to have a good end of life together. Our begining has been pretty great. I could only hope for more of that.
I see his mother and it just breaks my heart. She wasn't always a bitter, unhappy person. The smoking led to her emphysema and she chose not to quit until she absolutely had no choice. Now, she is trully disabled. She finds no joy in life and she makes the lives of everyone she loves just miserable. That is not what I want for him or for myself and I remind myself of that fact whenever I do have those cravings.
I will pray every day that he finds the strength to put them down again.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
I am feeling the aches and pains today. My muscles are very tight and I am a little concerned about my groin muscle. It is hurting.
I knew my muscles were overworked, but I was not babying them. Chuck and Audrey took me out for a farewell lunch and he has one of those huge F350's. I felt the pull as soon as I tried to hop up in it. I have been stretching and trying to work the knot out, but it really isn't working. I was so hoping that I would be able to work out a little when I got home.
It is strength training today. I know the stretching would be good for my thigh, I just don't know if it would be very smart. I suppose I will have to play it by ear. Maybe I will just take a long, lesurely swimm with the grandbeauties and see if that helps.
I have done very well with the eating. I am hoping to work through the weekend without going over my 1550. I am working Saturday and a double on Sunday. If I cannot do it this weekend, I might as well just give up!
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