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Self Confidence Is a Good Thing

Friday, June 09, 2006

I worked out hard last night. I didn't realize how hard until I woke up this morning and my back was aching.

I was so proud of myself today.

I got up at 6:15 and worked out for thirty minutes on the elliptical. It felt great. I have been feeling wonderful all day. I knew it would work that way for me if I could just convince myself to get out of bed.

It is a great way to start the day and it sets up a smooth day with less stress. I have done my ten minutes of stretching to try and work the soreness out of my back. That has worked pretty well, also.
It is my plan to either work out on the elliptical when I get home or swim with the grandbabies.

My food choices have been so good. I did have my icecream last night, but I allowed for it. Call me crazy, but it makes me happy to have it. I rarely eat anything (aside from my IC) that has refined sugar or bleached flour in it. That is an incredible change. Not only in my life, but my husband's also.

I think the thing I like best is that this whole change feels permanent. I never really felt that way before. Diets were always a means to an end. This is a lifestyle I hope to keep for the rest of my life.


Must learn patience

Thursday, June 08, 2006

I have come to the conclusion that I really am incredibly hard on myself. One of my goals is to get up at 6 AM and exercise before I start my day. I have been setting my alarm clock and resetting it when it goes off for nearly three weeks now.

I am at my wit's end with myself. I intend to lay my clothes out tonight before bed so that I won't use that excuse in the morning.

The really sad thing is that I cannot go back to sleep once I wake. I lay there with my eyes closed, opening them once in a while to check the time. I could be up doing something worthwhile.

I really am driving me crazy. I will be working two jobs next week and I will have a perfect excuse for not getting up. Will I sleep the week away? I would love to say no, but only time will tell.


I made it

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

The trip went well. My Mom and Sister did not kill each other. Uncle Mel was there for the entire visit. The drinking was kept to a minimum.

Aunt Myrtle looks wonderful. She looked so much better this trip than the last time I saw her. She seems quite at home in the nursing home. She is treating it as if it is a hotel stay. I am praying and hoping that the medication will take care of the dementia and she will be able to go home soon.

I ate wayyy too much. I actually kept it down a bit, but I would never eat that way at home. Of course, I don't make all those foods, either.

I did not smoke the entire visit. Surprisingly, I did not want to smoke either. Gosh knows, the cigarettes were there for the taking.

I really wish I weren't so hard on myself when I fall off the wagon. It was just too hard this week. I knew I would have trouble, but I couldn't cut myself any slack. Why is that?


Taking the trip, but not falling

Thursday, June 01, 2006

I am concerned about this trip tomorrow. I know that peas, collard greens, turnip greens, fried cornbread, tomato gravy, biscuits, boiled peanuts and butter beans will be waiting for me when I get there. I know half of the food sounds nutritious, but the way it is prepared is not.
I have not heard from my sister, so maybe the smoking won't be an issue. I just feel that it is all out of my control and I really don't like feeling that way.
I am still sick. That isn't helping much. I am stuffy and my back is aching. I know I need to exercise when I get home, but I don't know where I will find the energy.
I read what I written and I have sounded so pathetic
for the last few days. I generally think of myself as a strong person and it bothers me so much when I feel that strength dissapearing.
I think I simply need to call it a week, try to watch my intake, steal a little exercise if I can and start fresh on Monday. My head is really not where it needs to be right now.


Still trying to accept the facts

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

I am amazed that I stayed within my calorie range of 1550 yesterday. It certainly didn't feel that way. I got home from work and we took Katie out for her birthday. The food at Lonestar was terrible. I guess it is time for us to find another celebration restaurant. Our last few visits there have not been very good.
I called my Mom when we got home and she sounds terrible. I am right there with her. I know Aunt Myrtle is going to die. I would never wish her to remain here and be in pain. She has been ready for release since the diabetes settled in her kidneys. She has been in pain for so long.
The thought of her spending the last months or years of her life in an institution is almost more than my heart can take.
So, I ate when I got home. I knew I wasn't hungry. I even told myself that as I was looking in the frig. I just didn't care.
I am still not feeling very well. I have been so good with the vitamins and proper eating (Yes. the core food I eat is excellent) that I have got my fingers crossed that whatever I have will pass quickly. It isn't helping with the depression I am feeling right now.
One bright spot-I did not smoke.
I can only hope tomorrow is a little better, just a little.


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