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Having a bad day

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

I am really trying to keep myself on track. I don't think I'll be exercising today. I really don't feel very well. I ache everywhere and my throat and ears are hurting.
I will have to cheer up, though. Katie is 19 today. I can barely believe it myself. We will be going out to dinner tonight. I really don't have a hard time staying on track when we go out to eat. It's all those hours at home that derail me.
I paid attention to what I did after I got the phone call from Mom yesterday. I wanted a cigarette, but I reached for the food instead. I knew it was emotional eating, but I just didn't care. I am not that strong. It is one or the other and I really feel like a non-smoker now. If I have to choose to be bad, I would rather it be with food. I can lose the weight. The new lungs, heart, kidneys, etc are a little harder to come by.
I have been trying to get hold of Mom. She was so upset yesterday. I know what they are doing is the best thing for Aunt Myrtle, but it just breaks my heart to think of her in one of those places.


okay, I stumbled a little

Friday, May 26, 2006

I was good last night and then I was very bad. I was soooo tired when I got home from work. I really don't know how I found the energy to exercise, but I did. I trudged along on the elliptical for fifty-five minutes, walked out back and dove into the pool. That initial feeling of being completely engulfed by cold, crisp water is overwhelming when you are hot and sweaty.
Allie put on her suit and we swam for another thirty minutes.
I began swimming practice for a triathlon. My swimming was different today and Allie kept looking at me with that slanted head/puppy dog look that we get when we are perplexed.
I stretched and worked the kinks out of my shoulders and neck before I went into the house and took my shower.
We ate dinner shortly after. I ate a small portion of spaghetti with meatsauce and two pieces of garlic bread.
Of course, both of my daughters opted for ice cream an hour or so later and I just couldn't resist. Part of me feels guilty. The other part says that I worked out hard enough and I deserved it. I say it sure tasted good and I will put in an extra lap or two tonight.


To tri or not to tri

Friday, May 26, 2006

I have been researching triathlons for the last few days. I would love to finish one for my 50th. My husband will think I have lost my mind, so I won't mention it for a while.
I began working on my swimming technique, if you can call what I do a "technique". After reading the proper way to swim, I have been trying to do as the coach's article instructed. I find it very difficult to look directly down at the bottom of the pool. Logically, I know that I will see the changes in the depth of the pool and I will not hit the wall, but I cannot seem to convince my brain of that.
Therefore, I have a very stiff neck today. Just as the article explained I would. I can't wait to get home and work the kinks out. If it continues this way I will have a migraine before I leave work today.
I know that I am faster than I was last week. I can feel that. I can swim 10 strokes before I have to come up for air and that is incredible. Swimming really makes me appreciate the fact that I am no longer a smoker.
I have stepped away from the ice cream and I am back on track with my eating. I always thought chocolate was my weakness. When did ice cream sneak up on me?



Tuesday, May 23, 2006

I am bone weary today. I had a good day yesterday. I watched my food intake. I actually saved calories for ice cream last night. I did my elliptical and swimming when I got home from work.
Lexie was sick and sat near the pool with Kim, watching me swim. She stuck her toes in a couple of times, but never asked to join me. She must have really felt bad.
I watched some television with the girls and went to bed at 10:30. I must have gotten a total of two hours sleep last night. I had planned on waking at six and doing the elliptical before work. That plan fell to the pavement when I couldn't get my butt out of bed. I hope I have the energy to work out when I get home. I am really struggling at work.


650 WHAT?

Friday, May 19, 2006

I sat down last night and planned my meals for to- day. I was very proud of myself. I ate a great breakfast, as planned. A few hours later, Audrey, our receptionist asked if I wanted to go to lunch. I really wanted to say no, but she is such a sweetie.
She recently had an emergency appendectomy and she shouldn't even be back at work. I let her choose and she wanted Italian. We ended up at Johnny Carrino's.
At first, I was mortified. But I chose the Artichoke and Angelhair Pasta. I thought it was a good choice. Artichokes, olives, tomatoes and capers tossed in a light olive oil with a tad of parmesan. It was very good. I think I ate a third of the dish.
I returned to work and looked up the meal on the internet. How does 650 calories sound? Of course, I didn't eat it all. I actually gave myself 320 calories for lunch, but I was very surprised.
Dan called me a little later and informed me that we are eating out after Allie's baseball game. I wasn't planning on that, either. But I really don't mind. We are both getting pretty good about ordering foods that we won't regret eating later. I honestly feel for the first time in our married life that we may have the cigarette addiction under control.
I couldn't be prouder of him, okay, and me too.


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