Tuesday, May 16, 2006
I am feeling a little down today. Everything feels stagnant. I am working towards my goals, but some days are harder than others.
I look at myself in the mirror and I don't know the person who is looking back at me.
It isn't just the weight, it is my age also. I see a face that I am not familiar with. A face that my family loves and looks forward to seeing every day, but that I don't recognise.
I remember looking at Dan on Mother's Day and really seeing the changes in his face. I felt such an overwhelming surge of tenderness while looking at him. Funny that I still see him as a twenty-two year-old stud muffin most of the time.
I know he sees the me of today, too and I wonder how he feels about that.
My mother was so obsessed with her looks that I swore I would not let wrinkles and time upset me. I never thought of myself as a vain person, but I discovered after forty that you notice when people no longer see you.
It makes me even more determined to follow through with changing my health for the better. I want to take the trip into old age with my husband and walk most of the journey, or run, or golf, or whatever we feel like doing for the rest of our lives.