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CINDYHOUGHTON's Recent Blog Entries

It's You

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

When we live with someone who has hurt us, it is hard to see past that hurt. We have a history with them. It is hard not to remember the times we have been let down or forgotten. Bitterness and resentment begin to enter in if we will let it. That history will alter the way we speak and how we look at the other person. I want to tell you that the entire problem is your fault, to some extent, not the one who you feel has wronged you.
Bitterness and resentment are products of a low self esteem. It is not all about us. Life is all about others. If we will learn to love and to serve others then bitterness and resentment will have no place in our lives. If we are secure in who we are then we realize that no one can make us feel bad unless we allow them to do so. One of my favorite scriptures is the one in John where Jesus says, "My peace I give to you...." Look at it in the Amplified Bible, it is awesome. Why do we lack peace? Because we have given it away and not held tight to it. It is ridiculous to pray for peace. He has already bequeathed us HIS peace. It is ours. Bitterness and resentment are not signs that we have peace. Feeling as though we have been wronged is not a sign of peace.
If we can first learn to love ourselves even with all our imperfections, the whole world is going to look better. We will smile more, and be smiled at more. We will have confidence and confidence brings us a lot of good things too. We will carry ourselves differently so others will look at us differently. If you are struggling in life, learn to love yourself and quit beating yourself up at every turn.
It is easy to blame others for why our life is the way it is. I am here to tell you it is not their fault it is yours alone. It is time we quit feeling sorry for ourselves and do something about it. If you want to become an enthusiastic person sometimes you just have to act like one. The biggest boost to my self esteem came the day I realized God loved me. The next biggest was reading Zig Zieglar and others like him. Open your eyes today and see all the good that lies within YOU. You and everyone else will thank you for doing so. (Sorry if this sounded a little hard today.)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 1/28/2011 10:31PM

    That passage about Jesus is powerful. Can we even imagine what it would feel like if he gave us the peace that passes all understanding? Wow! What a gift that is. -- Lou

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3CATSLEP 1/26/2011 2:20PM

    It sounded VERY realistic!!! The biggest boost to my self esteem came the day I realized that my best friend is Jesus and He will NEVER betray or hurt me, but has given me salvation and a future and a hope:) Thanks, Cindy!

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Change of Eyesight

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I've really been thinking about seeing others differently. It's kind of hard and easy both. It's getting a different mindset. You can look only at the negative or you can choose to look for the positive. Before I knew someone in jail, I feared those who were in jail. When it became someone I loved, I could love them all. When I could finally love them, I could begin to minister to them because I no longer pitied them or looked down on them or judged them. Certain people don't do well in my job. Or should I say, most people can't do my job. I work with addicts and most of society judges and condemns them. Again, it took someone I loved becoming an addict before I could love an addict. It was a change in mindset, a change of how I looked at them.
God loves every human being on the face of the earth. Yet we love so few of them. If God can see something worth loving and dying for, why can't I? I need a new set of eyes, God's eyes.
Non Christians can also get a change of eyesight. We just have to find something positive and focus on it rather than the negative. We have to believe something better for the other person. We have to have faith that a person CAN change before they WILL change. There is no one on the face of this earth who cannot choose to change. Yes, it may be more difficult for some than others, but it can be done.
To quote Zig Zieglar again, we can get what we want in this life if we help enough others to get what they want. No one wants to be miserable. No one wants to be lonely. No one wants to be defeated. No one wants to have a poor self esteem. One man decided to write Thank Yous. It brightened the day of those who served him daily at the coffee shop or on the bus or wherever he met them as well as family members. How hard is that? A high school teacher asks the kids to write something positive about their classmates. Years later the child still carries it in a wallet or it sits framed upon a wall. Did it make an impact? Did it change a life or two? Did it change the perspective of a student or two?
So today let us buy a new pair of glasses. Let us check our eyesight and make the necessary adjustments. The world will thank us for doing so, I guarantee you!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

3CATSLEP 1/25/2011 7:03PM

    I like wearing my Bible glasses:)

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RGRAPEOLE 1/25/2011 10:04AM

    Thank you for such an uplifting blog! emoticon I believe attitudes are contagious, and by having a positive one, others around you will see the positive, as well. emoticon

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What Do You See?

Monday, January 24, 2011

How we perceive others and ourselves makes a big difference in life, both ours and theirs. If we have no confidence in ourselves or low self esteem it will show in everything we do and say. How we carry ourselves and dress ourselves will say quite loudly how we feel about ourselves. There has been much written on self esteem and many have benefited greatly from reading. Change one thing and fake it if you have to to see if it makes a difference. Dress up or wear a little make-up if you must. Get a new hairstyle, something that says confidence and see what it does to how you feel.
There is not that much that I know of about how we see others though and the impact can be just as great. Three teachers were told at the beginning of the year that their students were either geniuses, average or below average. They we told either to expect much even though the children complained or to expect nothing. At the end of the year the geniuses out performed the others in every way up to a full grade level. The thing is, they were all considered average students. The only difference was how the teachers perceived them. Now apply this to your family and your co-workers. How can you change the way you see them? This example comes from Zig Zieglar's book See You at The Top. How we see others makes a huge impact on how we relate to them. Many that we have given up on, could excel and lead much more fruitful lives if we would just see them differently.
So I challenge you. If you have a co-worker you are having trouble with, see them as you would like for them to become. Do you have a troubled teen? Change how you see them and they will change to meet your expectations. Are we irritated with others? Look at them differently. Are you afraid of failure and won't tell others about Jesus because of being rejected? It is not you they reject, it is Jesus. Tell them anyway. Let us no longer suffer. Let us reach a hand up to those who have fallen by telling them we believe they can do it. Their lives and ours will be greatly enriched if we do. Who will you choose to impact first? Yourself or someone else?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

3CATSLEP 1/25/2011 8:58AM

    Right on there, Cindy, I was even thinking how it could change how I look at my husband too:)

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Love, Love, Love

Sunday, January 23, 2011

You can't go wrong with love. Love covers a multitude of sins. We all crave love. Letting someone know they are loved has picked up someone from the depths of despair and made life worth living. Just the same, without feeling they are loved many have committed suicide. Many times the person was loved, but no one bothered to let them know. I made a commitment when I was in high school to make sure that my children knew they were loved, when I had them. I told them often. I tried to show it as well. I did not want there to be any doubt in their minds that at least one person felt they were worth something.
Many times when we have found reasons not to love ourselves, we become critical out of own poor self esteem. In an attempt to make ourselves prove to ourselves we are unlovable, we cause others to feel the same way. This is not our conscious choice, it just comes of a low self esteem. We search for anything that will take away that pain of not feeling loved. I felt rejected by God somehow for many years and when I finally realized the even He loved me, it made a world of difference in me. Someone once asked me if I had always been a positive person and I laughed at the question. I have struggled greatly to overcome negativity.
My dad said I would sabotage my efforts time and time again. I felt I was unworthy of whatever good might come my way because I did not feel I deserved it, despicable person that I was. I could not see this in myself. I still struggle with being all I can be, but not nearly like I once did.
We cannot truly love another if we do not in some way love ourselves first. We criticize in others what we do not like in ourselves. We will give those who are listening the clues to reach us if they will but listen. If we teach others to get what they want in life, then our life will be far more rewarding. Behavior can be changed in positive or negative ways. Sometimes all we need to do is shift how we approach another. Instead of telling them all that is wrong with them, try telling them what they are doing right. If they complain of everything being so negative, make a point to say only positive things around them or say nothing at all. In doing so we will be loving them as they are needing to be loved.
I will make a conscious effort to let someone know today that I love them. I will try to do this every time we come into contact with one another, starting with today.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

3CATSLEP 1/23/2011 4:56PM

    Good idea, Cindy. I will too!

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Get Busy!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

My daughter has learned a very important lesson. She probably isn't going to learn much in her remaining college time. She is very intelligent and even since high school has taught herself far more than the teachers have. This is not to put down the teachers, they themselves realized her potential. So she sees that she will be better off reading the books that will teach her what she wants to know and learn it that way. I have bought some books for her for this purpose. One of the books that made a HUGE impact on me was one I got at sales school with The Southwestern Company back in my college days. It is called See You At The Top by Zig Zieglar. I love his humor and no nonsense approach. I have been rereading the book as I wait for my husband to make a trip to take it to her. One of the points he brings out in the book is that we have all we need in our life to succeed. He says that no one is born a lawyer or a salesman or a doctor. They are born boys and girls. They die a doctor or salesman or what have you. It's what happens in between life and death that determines who we become. We can put off becoming or doing what when want until thus and such happens. Like for example, the car gets fixed, I quit smoking, or Johnny cuts the grass. If we continue to wait for THAT day to come, we will die never having accomplished in our lives what we hoped for. The power is ours but we will never get there if we do not act. A lot of people want to lose weight, but never will. They are waiting for something else to happen before they act. You will lose weight if you exercise and eat less. So when are you going to start?????
There are so many things in our lives that are holding us back from achieving what we want in life. Instead of pointing fingers at others and saying it is their fault, let's get off our duffs and get busy. The power for success lies in each of us and it is up to us to do something about it. Nothing can hold us back, but us ourselves. It is time for action.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 1/22/2011 4:47PM

    We have within us the seed of greatness but too many people are not able to compartmentalize their lives and strive for something here, while waiting for something there, as you pointed out. They have an all or none attitude and so they continue to wait for the perfect day to begin to change. Sadly, that day will never occur. They just don't realize it. -- Lou

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