Sunday, January 04, 2009
2009 is here. I can't look back and wine about what did not happen as I would like. It's time to go forward. It's time to set my face like flint and focus on the now. What am I going to do now to make 2009 mine? First I confer with God and follow His lead. I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens. I am a winner already and I stand on this statement. No matter what happens, I am determined to make my weight loss goal come to fruition this year. I am serious. I do not enjoy being overweight. I grew up most of my days being overweight. Years ago I used to think of it as being cursed. That was ignorance talking. I have since accepted myself and instead of feeling sorry for myself I became proactive and joined Spark in July of 2007. A choice that has changed my life for the good.
I have not lost all the weight I want but I will this year. What is my plan for the year? I have joined the January New You Boot Camp. I feel confident that this will kick start my weight loss success again. I also will kick up the cardio again and use a variety of DVDs and other activities so that I will not be bored with the journey. Sometimes that happens and we slip back into old habits, but we must remember the Prize and keep on moving towards it. We must keep moving up! We can't tread water too long. It's a choice to move towards the healthy side. I am not taking any excuses from myself. No more self pity. I put this weight on all of my life, I can take it off no matter how long it takes. No more excuses! 2009 is mine. Blogging more and staying connected to my teams and the different boards help me stay motivated also. I love the interaction on the boards. I like meeting new friends and helping others to stay encouraged. No one is perfect. We all fall off the wagon, but we must pull our boot straps up and get back on the wagon of successful weight loss again. It is so amazing when that weight comes off, then there is a plateau. But I will not allow that to stop me. I will get past any and all plateaus, distractions, and anything else that may try to get in my way of a great success.
God is on my side and He is on this ride with me till the end and even further. I have faith in His Help. I know that His strength will get me through the hard times. I also will continue to journal on and off of Spark. It helps a lot I believe. To go back and read what happened on a certain day will help you stay on track, or get back on track if you fell left again. My ambition is to be a motivator for others to look up to and gain courage to continue on the journey to fitness and health. We all want to be healthy and sometimes weight is what stands in the way of that health that so many of us desire to manifest. Great things will happen this year. Nothing shall be impossible to them that believe. Lord, I believe!
Blessings and Prayers for all successes.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
M y favorite Christmas movie just happens to be "It's A Wonderful Life". For those of you who have never seen nor heard of this movie I urge you to find it and rent it from a movie rental place or check it out from your public library or buy it. It's a movie worth watching. It makes you think about what this world would be like if you were never born. This guy, "George" (Jimmy Stewart) had fallen on some terrible financial catastrophe and confessed to a wingless "angel" that he wished he had never been born. There are great scenes before and after he made this statement, but that statement made me think about my life and how I would wish I was not "cursed" to be the "fat" girl/lady the rest of my life. Maybe the world would be better without me. But who else can be me?
I longed to be thin all of my life. As a child I grew up dreaming about being in a different family and being sexy, thin and fine. I thought it was bad enough being po', but to be po and the only "fat" one in the house was terrible for me. That was my mindset. People were not that accepting of the thicker females back then as they are now so I kept to myself because I was ashamed of how I looked. Now, my family was not bad where I wanted to disown them, but I yearned to have a two parent home and we did not because my parents divorced when I was still a toddler. I'm sure lifetime obesity swept a lot of us away to our own dream worlds where we were accepted as we were on the outside. Sometimes this led me to feelings of doubt and insecurity about who I really was.
God has gifted me with the talent to write. Mainly poetry but also short stories, articles and I have always wanted to be a published writer since I was in the fifth grade. What if I had those dream families or the skinny me back when? Would I write a poem as easy as I breath? Could I have had a relationship with God like I do now if I was the Deborah I dreamed about? I don't think my path would be the same at all if those dreams were true. The poet in me would be lost forever. Where would my children be? What about my mother? She was the best single mother I know. She was a strong mother. No, she was not perfect but she did the best she could do with what she had to do it with. Life was hard, but it was not so bad. I have a great family. They are all beautiful to me. They all look up to me because of who I am...inside and the gifts God has given me that I was able to share with them and some of the world because I was born. Because I was not "thin". Where would this world be without the real me?
I no longer will dream about a fictional thin me. I will become a thinner Deborah because that is what I want to do. I am losing this weight because I want to lose the weight. I am beautiful regardless of what others think, rather thick or thin. God gave me to my family as a blessing. I love myself and I want to give the world the best me that I can give. I desire to be thinner and I will. This is definitely a lifestyle change for anyone who wants the weight to stay off. I am determined to keep this weight off. I feel so blessed to have the "real" me come into contact with so many wonderful people on SparkPeople. It helps so much to have a place to come and be who you are and to be accepted and receive the encouragement and push needed to just do it.
Wow, It's a Wonderful Life! Already!
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