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It's A Wonderful Life!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

M y favorite Christmas movie just happens to be "It's A Wonderful Life". For those of you who have never seen nor heard of this movie I urge you to find it and rent it from a movie rental place or check it out from your public library or buy it. It's a movie worth watching. It makes you think about what this world would be like if you were never born. This guy, "George" (Jimmy Stewart) had fallen on some terrible financial catastrophe and confessed to a wingless "angel" that he wished he had never been born. There are great scenes before and after he made this statement, but that statement made me think about my life and how I would wish I was not "cursed" to be the "fat" girl/lady the rest of my life. Maybe the world would be better without me. But who else can be me?

I longed to be thin all of my life. As a child I grew up dreaming about being in a different family and being sexy, thin and fine. emoticon I thought it was bad enough being po', but to be po and the only "fat" one in the house was terrible for me. That was my mindset. People were not that accepting of the thicker females back then as they are now so I kept to myself because I was ashamed of how I looked. Now, my family was not bad where I wanted to disown them, but I yearned to have a two parent home and we did not because my parents divorced when I was still a toddler. I'm sure lifetime obesity swept a lot of us away to our own dream worlds where we were accepted as we were on the outside. Sometimes this led me to feelings of doubt and insecurity about who I really was.

God has gifted me with the talent to write. Mainly poetry but also short stories, articles and I have always wanted to be a published writer since I was in the fifth grade. What if I had those dream families or the skinny me back when? Would I write a poem as easy as I breath? Could I have had a relationship with God like I do now if I was the Deborah I dreamed about? I don't think my path would be the same at all if those dreams were true. The poet in me would be lost forever. Where would my children be? What about my mother? She was the best single mother I know. She was a strong mother. No, she was not perfect but she did the best she could do with what she had to do it with. Life was hard, but it was not so bad. I have a great family. They are all beautiful to me. They all look up to me because of who I am...inside and the gifts God has given me that I was able to share with them and some of the world because I was born. Because I was not "thin". Where would this world be without the real me?

I no longer will dream about a fictional thin me. I will become a thinner Deborah because that is what I want to do. I am losing this weight because I want to lose the weight. I am beautiful regardless of what others think, rather thick or thin. God gave me to my family as a blessing. I love myself and I want to give the world the best me that I can give. I desire to be thinner and I will. This is definitely a lifestyle change for anyone who wants the weight to stay off. I am determined to keep this weight off. I feel so blessed to have the "real" me come into contact with so many wonderful people on SparkPeople. It helps so much to have a place to come and be who you are and to be accepted and receive the encouragement and push needed to just do it.

Wow, It's a Wonderful Life! Already!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JULESGL 12/20/2008 1:59PM

    YES!

Thank you for your beautiful writing. We are beautiful no matter what the scale says. We are worth the hard work, not because of who we are but because of WHOSE we are.

Keep on runnin your race to win.

You're gonna do it in a big way!! Jules

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BABY_GIRL69 12/17/2008 2:37PM

    Well, let me tell you are not the only one who wanted a different everything in life. I was the baby so I couldn't do what everyone else did or I was the "high yellow with long hair," or my all time favorite, I was adopted. I used to cry but then I said to myself maybe there is a family that loved me so much but they just couldn't keep me & the tears stopped. I think even I wanted a 2 parent home but being married I see what some children had to endure, will they resent us once they're grown or remember the good times mostly. Its a talent when you can put your story down on paper & have others be transported through time while reading your story & get lost there. You are the world, the sun, moon & stars & the world would definitely be a very different place without you!

Blessings,

Dee emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CARYNRICKY525 12/17/2008 1:54PM

    You want the stars...I'll give the star. Deborah.... you don't need a star because you are already a Shining Star! You are a nice person inside and out and getting to know you from SparkPeople is one of the BEST things that has happened to me. You inspire me sooooo much words can't describe. I have become close to mainly (2) young ladies from SparkPeople and you Deborah are on the top of the list.

Love Ya,
Caryn

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Comment edited on: 12/17/2008 1:55:21 PM

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GRANDMA_STATUS 12/16/2008 11:37PM

    you want the moon? i'll give you the moon.

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December Goal: 10 Pounds

Sunday, November 30, 2008

I have decided to lose 10 pounds as my goal for the month of December. With this small goal, I believe I can do it or come close to it. My plan will be to eat more fruits and vegetables, lean meats such as fish and poultry and drink plenty of water. My exercise routine will include dancing, various dvd's including Biggest Loser Boot Camp, Tae Bo, The Firm, Kathy Smith and many others so that I will not bore with the routines. Cardio will be 5 days a week. Weight Training 3 times a week. I will also utilize exercise ball and the mini tramp. A great addition to my plan will be my daily entries in a personal Health journal. I will record the foods I eat and track the type of exercise I do. I expect great results. My plan also includes daily visits to Spark People so that I can stay motivated. I appreciate all the motivation that I get. You are real people who know what it's like to lose the weight and I crave encouragement. Thanks for caring. Thanks for sharing.
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Deb

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1D1W1Y 12/5/2008 8:12AM

    You can do that 10 lbs. You just claim it. Will have to remember you are in Texas.
My brother is in Mansfield. I was just there . Next time a walk.. I can drive to Euless.

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CARYNRICKY525 12/3/2008 11:06AM

    Hello Deborah,
You know I MISS U! I would like to join you on the 10 lb weight loss for December. You have always been one that I would like to lose weight with. So start losing and I know you will keep me on my toes and help guide me in the right direction. DID I TELL YOU THAT I MISS U!

Love ya!
Your "twin" sister
Caryn

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D710DANCE 12/2/2008 5:34PM

    YAY...MY SISTER IS BACK!!!

I've so missed seeing you around. Looks like you have a good plan in place and I know that you're gonna stick to it. I am here for you just like you're always there for me...so just give me a yell if you need anything.

Also, thank you for the very sweet and encouraging words on my blog. You are such a caring person, all of Spark is thankful that you are back!!!

Love ya',
Deondra :)

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MSPROVERBS31 12/1/2008 11:21AM

    emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/1/2008 11:19:03 AM

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MSPROVERBS31 12/1/2008 11:20AM

    You're so awesome!
I pray that God's Will for you is reached in your goals!

I also wanted to do something this month to end the year as a Fitter me. So I'll use some of your ambition as inspiration. emoticon
Keep all of us updated on your success!

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BABY_GIRL69 11/30/2008 12:04PM

    Girl, I would love to join you on your weight loss journey for the month of December. I need to lose about 10lbs to get it started. So I am about to log off & do some sit ups cause I have been falling short of what I KNOW I can do!!

Blessings,

DeeR>
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It's Been One Year!!!

Sunday, July 06, 2008

It's been a year and I am so proud of all the pounds that have been taken off of my body. Hard work and perseverance are the too things that had to happen for my weight loss so far. It may seem like I am a a weight stand still, but I have all the tools and support I need to get me where I need to be. God is on my side and He helps me all the time. He knows my weaknesses, and He knows what I need to do to conquer them. I will not fear being skinny. I believe that I had been thinking like that. Fear is of the devil and we all know that he is nothing more than the biggest ever. I am already successful. I thank God for sending me to Spark People. This site is the reason I am successful. The way all members try to be supportive. There is so much truth here. So many people who know what is going on with you. When there are others who have been through what you have it becomes easier. Yes, sometimes you just want to eat that candy bar. And I did. But, I'll exercise those calories off and decide that it wasn't worth eating it because it did not even taste the way you remember. We must always think before we eat. If we do that, everything will fall in line.

I dedicate for the month of July a good weight loss report. I will track every piece of food or junk that comes into my mouth. I will exercise every day. Sunday is my day for a good walk. I will drink 8 or more glasses of water per day and I will smile and be happy because I am so very proud of my accomplishments.

God is good to me all the time. Whatever I ask the Father in the Name of Jesus' He will do it, if it is according to His Will. It is His will for us to be fit and healthy. He does not want all the sicknesses and diseases that come from being overweight to take over our bodies. We are to live strong and long. That's the truth. I have all the Power inside of me to make this the greatest month so far. Each month is a great month. We are alive and we can do it.

Praise the Lord for every pound that I lost. I will not find it again. They are thrown away in a pit of no return.

Each step in the right direction is a step for life, liberty and total health. Just think how much money will be saved. Wow. One year and I am 47 pounds lighter. That is a brag and I have no shame. I hope my blog motivates you to keep on going. You are a winner because you decided to just do it. It is being done.

Thank You Lord for Your goodness to all the children of men. Thank You for giving me my hearts desire. You are my life. I can do all things through Christ Who has strengthened me!!!! Victory is NOW!!!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CBRANCH76 7/7/2008 12:46PM

    09/26/08 will be my anniversary and I am going to make my goal to be 50lbs loss. You have inspired me!!!


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Woman to Woman

Saturday, June 28, 2008

I just needed to share some personal things on here because I have let my heart break again. I have been and still am a strong black woman. I have raised my 2 children alone most of my adult life. A marriage did not work out and caused me so much anguish and pain. He wants back but he has not changed and is using alcohol most days. We are not in the same state and I like it like that. I met someone who continues to break my heart. It is so strange because he is just like that ex husband that I can't go back too.

I wonder why I am attracted to literal dead beats. I hate that for myself. I ask all who are true prayers to please agree with me that I will be delivered from these type of men. I really want Jesus to be the only man in my life. Sometimes I get lonely and desire the company of a man and I know I am not the only woman who feels like that. I am sharing this because I know I can get some good help on this from my friends and motivators.

I was feeling so bad for myself last night that I really wanted to just go up to Heaven because I don't want to hurt any more. It pains me to know that I can be so vulnerable when it comes to a man. I hate that. These emotions are not what I like them to be. I want to be in control of these emotions. I don't want them to control me.

Losing weight is hard enough without having something else to deal with. I wanted things like this to change as I lose the weight and get more confident. I still need to work on the inside of me. The me that is confident in some areas and still afraid in others. I pray and cry to God for His help because He knows what is truly in my heart.

I appreciate all prayers and comments. It is very hard to trust men these days for me. So very hard. I don't want to be alone and I know I am not called to do that. I just want to be loved. Loved for real and in truth. Can I get a witness??

Thank you!!!
Deborah
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

M3NOMOFAT 7/11/2008 4:54PM

    Sorry to hear of your sadness and praying for your strength. You are right that many of us are witnesses of love gone wrong. I married mine and GOD took years developing him because I chose him while rejecting GOD. I wish people could understand that GOD wants what is best for us and if we wait and live holy, HIS best will be ours. I can't tell you how much pain I lived with until GOD fixed it. Now, I can hardly believe it was me. I have no memory of the depth of the pain even though I haven't forgotten the experience. I never thought this day would come but GOD is so awesome, that HE delivered me wholly. HE is waiting to do the same thing for you. Read my blog "a Yielded Heart." It is probably the 2nd one I wrote and you will have to search all the way back to the 1st page of my blogs. I think it will help you.
Love, blessings and mighty prayers...
m3

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CBRANCH76 6/30/2008 1:11PM

    Hey Queen,

Please know that as long as you are in control of these emotions you will never have control of them. Only our heavenly Father has the ability to bring your flesh under submission...just cast all your cares upon him and he is willing and able to do the rest. I am praying for your strength.

Be blessed,
CAT

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1LOREAL 6/29/2008 12:11PM

    You've got a witness!
I'm also going through some heart break in my life right now. Not to mention I'm getting ready/forced to make some drastic changes in my personal life. I too am waiting for that man that loves for real and true.Your right losing weight is hard enough but to add other issues makes it rather.....hardier than it should be. But what does not kill us makes us stronger. Hang in there!!

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LADYDRIVEN 6/28/2008 7:22PM

    Your issues are so common for women like us, beautiful black women. We know that some men are like unhealthy food, really satisfying but so very bad for your health, yet we continue on making these ill advised decisions to be with them. YOu are not alone, many of us are in the same boat. its just so hard to recognize the signs in the first place. but as you said, you are a strong black woman, you can and will over come these issues. I know that the Lord does answer prayers, so i will definetely be praying to him to give you the stregnth you need right now. rest assured that he will find you a partner to make you happy in his own time. hang in there ok!

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STILL MAKING IT HAPPEN

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Just to let everyone know that I am exercising like I promised I would. Building muscles and getting fit. I thank God for the strength He has given me. It takes His Push to keep me going. For anyone who have never experienced The Firm work out should try it. I like the circuit training effect. I tried to stop but I couldn't. 52 mins of pure Heaven!!! I will keep making it happen
even in the new month to come. Blessings to everyone!!!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

D710DANCE 6/26/2008 3:11PM

    WORK IT!!!

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