Well I have not been doing so good lately. I have not been getting all the exercise that I have been planning, and some days I have not been getting any. I have been making excuses and I have been overeating,eating way to much salt, and sweets. This has got to stop!
This story begins this spring when one of our neighbors dogs came over and attacked one of our dogs my husband rescued our dog and he survived but to our sadness was attacked again and did not survive.
My husband and I than desided not to get another dog so we just had out basset hound. Well our hound morned and morned until we were afraid that we were going to lose him to so we took him to out local animal shelter and let him pick out his our pet. A pet|(Wesley) for our pet. And so we were up to two dogs again well our grown son shows up one day with another dog. This little rag a muffin with strange looking ears and told us that he "rescued "(My son has had a hero type mentality since he was seven "never fear I will save you" as he jumps in the water to rescue his drowning sister even though he could not swim)
He took Tofur away from someone that was beating him and saying that he was going to kill this useless piece of ***
Well he can't have a dog(Tofur) so he brings him here to good old mom and Dad saying I will find him a home.....well I guess he did.
Well Monday I had just came home from preschool with the twins and I sent them down to take a nap and I went out to walk the dogs. I hadn't been out there very long when a couple of the neighbor dogs came over to our house and started snapping and growling at me, I yelled at them to go home and then one on them the one that killed our goober grabs Tofur and starts to run toward there house. Well I run to my porch and grab my shovel and try to run down our stair to the yard. My feet then slip out from under me and I go down. I landed on my back and hit my head hard I get up and start trying to run in the snow across my yard were this dog and another one of there dogs are fighting over my dog. The one dog sees me coming with the shovel and runs the other dog starts to shake my dog back and forth in his mouth and I see that my dog is limp and I think that my dog is dead and it dawns on me this shovel that I am carting is a very light weight plastic and is NO protection from this dog but I decided that this dog was NOT going to get to eat my dog. So I got to him and I was screaming like a mad woman and swinging the shovel and howling and this dog dropped my dog and started to come after me I just keep advancing and screaming and making all kinds of noise and I managed to drive him back to him property. I then walked backwards back to my dog and scooped him up and notice that he was still alive and I took him back to the house called 911. Boy was that disappointing! Because I wasn't actually killed or overly wounded it was really not really their problem. And the animal control said that the were to busy to come out and ticket anyone then, they would get around to it when they could. What ? Are you kidding me? I took Tofur to our vet and until last night we were not sure if he was going to live or die. (Yes, he is going to live)
Yesterday my husband took some time off work and we went into the Sheriffs office and sat in the lobby trying to get some one to talk to us it took hours. My husband at the end thought that we might get arrested because we wouldn't leave until someone at least took our statement.
We do not blame the dogs, we blame their owners(The same people that don't watch there kid big surprise) and animal control. The owners tie all these dogs on the edge of our property and rarely feed or water them they are out there in all kinds of weather and no shelter. Animal control has been called and does nothing
So both Tofur and I survive even though I am very sore and banged up from my fall and my own stupid heroics with a plastic shovel(next time I will make it a spork )
What is living?
Is it going through the same motions every day or do we only really live we we try something we are afraid of? Taking that chance.
I am not talking about giving up everything and live in a hut in some other country or wearing a steak around your neck in bear country. I am talking about talking to some stranger or joining that exercise class that you are afraid to look like a fool that they don't know what they are doing.
I have always though that I was fearless and now I am not so sure. I am the kind of person that stand up to the bear fighting for her dog, jumping in the water to rescue the drowning kid or jumping on a person with a gun.
But I am not the person that would call someone on the phone to say hey lets go do something or stop talk to the person that I see could really benefit from spark people as we exercise in the same park.
I guess what I am trying to say it is easy to think that I am brave when I am doing these things that outwardly seem brave but these don't scare me. What scares me is rejection and interaction with others. I have not been living a brave life I have been living the life of a chicken(that really makes me angry)
I spent the last couple of days agonizing about reaching out to say howdy to some people and wondering if they would accept me or reject me. Well I did it ! I am so energized because I did it!
I want to live a brave life not a fearless life, fearless means you are not afraid, and it is always harder to do something that you fear.
Wow it has almost been a month since I have last blog. How time flies. Well I am staying on track even though I have been very busy since the kids are back in school and sports and clubs and anything else life seems to through at us. And what I mean by staying on track is every day I try. I pack a breakfast with me I try and pack a good lunch and try and stay away from the things that really are not that good for me. I don't always succeed but I am still losing weight and gaining energy (not to mention I can see my feet now ha ha) The fear of failing is falling away some every day that I get up and just try. This is for real and this is for life. Every day is going to be day one for me. I never want to be saying as I did in the past I will make tomorrow the first day of my diet. There is no more diet and every day is day 1, not tomorrow but today. And today I will get up and move.