CHUBRUB3   64,649
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Friday, June 29, 2012

I feel like I am broken...

I don't know why exactly, just that I am not what I feel I should be.
Stepped down as a leader from a group I love, because I felt I wasn't able to give what the other leaders give. Why be an anchor and drag them down when they are a speedboat surging ahead?
Am in a negative circuit, which is not usually me. I like to be positive and upbeat. It keeps me going.
That is why I think I am broken.
I work out hard and try to eat right. Did so well and am so frustrated that the numbers don't change. Even went to the Dietician/Nutritionist to get some feedback. I should know better, the Standard American Diet doesn't work for me, it is what got me into this mess in part.
Instead of losing I am gaining! WTH?
But being in a funk leads to emotional eating and we all know what that means.
Well I may be broken, but I will fix myself. It just may take me a little longer than it should.
I am trying to keep up with your blogs and posts, I love to hear how your doing my friends.
Struggling along even when Spark is making me log back in on every single flipping page. That is frustrating.
Ok, enough.
I may be leaking some tears and my heart is heavy, but so is my scale and that will change.
I will make it move. I will be back to my happy self soon.
Sorry for the downer.
Hugs and love,

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BE_PROUD 7/26/2012 8:16PM

    You are at the same point I am!
I've been struggling eating well, exercising and nothing but slow gain!
I'm back!
I'm back to logging food & exercise and reading blogs!
Thank you for your words & support!
I'm blaming hormones! lol

We can be here for each other!

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PCOH051610 7/25/2012 2:32PM

    I think a lot of us have gone through or are going through what you described. But did you know that every speed boat needs an anchor? Spark teams work best when there are a variety of types of people involved. Right now you stepped back from your Spark team but in time I am sure you will find your wisdom is needed.

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    Stop expecting yourself to be someone who is exempt from the full range of human emotion. You'd be less yourself if you truly were exempt. "Liking" to be upbeat is not quite the same as feeling it.

Weight-loss doldrums happen. Hormones or whatever happen. Most people hit a plateau that takes its course. A few pounds' gain is part of the process. If you keep doing what you've been doing, it'll all fall into place again. it's not too different from childhood's 'overnight' growth spurts.

I've told you before that you don't have to perform, wear a cheerful facade for others. You're broken only if you think you are -- a self-fulfilling prophesy that really comes down to something very dumb -- painting yourself into a corner. Your paint goes on canvas. Whether the downness came first or the weight stall/gain came first, that's life, that's what the people say, shot down in......

Oops, I detoured there. You're always giving to us. Let us give to you. Believe what we're telling you, especially me because I'm older and wiser.. You are in no way diminished. You are always elevated in esteem, respect and love.


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BBAMMOM 7/3/2012 12:05AM

    I'm sitting here thinking that you're being too hard on yourself. And then, it dawned on me that I sound just like you. I want to tell you not to beat yourself up and at the same time, I beat myself up!

Why do we talk to ourselves so harshly and offer so much support to our friends?

Let's make a vow to treat ourselves as well as we treat our friends. I'm here for you just as I know you are here for me.

Just like your wallpaper says, "Hang in there Baby!"

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GEMINI-SKY 7/2/2012 8:54AM

    emoticon & emoticon's Angela !!!!

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LYNMEINDERS 7/2/2012 5:23AM

    Never be sorry y honey for feeling down...we all have times we feel like are so allowed to....just not allowed to stay there for any length of time....

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MESAMA 7/1/2012 12:59PM

    Don't be sorry! We all go through these times and I can't tell you how many times you helped pick me up when I was down. You are not broken just on pause for a moment. Hang in there friend and know how much I cherish you and our friendship. I'm so sorry I didn't see this sooner. Pick up the pieces of that heavy heart dear when you can, until then know that we are here for you and believe in you. Let me know if you need to talk or something. I'm here whenever you need me!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JENN03275 7/1/2012 10:19AM

    Sending you positive vibes and hugs from afar. Hang in there!

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TEXASFILLY 7/1/2012 9:10AM

    Dear Angela, Whether you believe it or not, you are perfect just as you are~ just the way the Good Lord made you. *hugs* I hope and pray that you come to peace~ and may it be the peace that passeth all understanding. *hugs* Holding you close in thought and prayer. *hugs* With love, BB~ emoticon emoticon

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GROKGRANNY 7/1/2012 8:35AM

    You are so supportive, sweet and kind to the rest of us here and I just wanted to cry when I read your post. WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE and it is a miserable place to be! But I promise you, it will pass. We all have those negative, downer slumps. I sure have had a ton in my lifetime.

As far as stepping down as a leader? You had a season to lead. Now it is your season to step aside. Look for fresh, new, creative opportunities. Do not beat yourself up. You led for a season. Something fresh and new is on the horizon for you!

Spark can get frustrating when there are bugs in the system. My personal beef is that I have to continually check subscribe after each time I comment on someone's blog! It's not a perfect system, but we manage to reach each other eventually and our support for each other continues and grows. That's the beauty of Spark.

Your body may be at a place of needing a "rest stop." Your mind is what has to catch up and give it the grace to do so. Also, you can have your thyroid and hormonal levels checked (maybe you have already done this?) This is a good time to draw in a deep breath and reflect on how far you've come!!!!! Then get out and simply enjoy this beautiful day. It is a GIFT!

Love you, Angela!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BOVEY63 6/30/2012 8:07PM

    I do believe that we all go through these times in the journey we are on - I know that I have. You are such a positive person and I know that will get you through this and always know that you have a of us in your corner to help carry you through.
emoticon emoticon emoticon
Take care and have a Happy Canada Day!

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LAURELSPARK 6/30/2012 6:27PM

    Take good care of yourself. We all get down from time to time; hopefully, you'll feel better soon.

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LITTLETEAPOT17 6/30/2012 5:23PM

    We love you Angela. When you're sad, I'm sad. You are such a special friend. I will be here if you ever need me. Throw out that SAD! You felt so much better when you did before. Regroup and refocus. You're not broken... Just need to put yourself first as a priority for a change and delete the dang emails.
Hugs, p

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MISSILENE 6/30/2012 5:14PM

    I don't like to hear that you are upset. You are my Angel. Please get better. Take a step back and look at everything good you have done. Hugs to you.

Why not talk to Mona Lisa, She will listen. She is special and so are you...
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MERRIKATE 6/30/2012 3:47PM

    Here's to a "No-Shame Downturn", Angela-Love -- it will be 'outta town' soon. These faith-shaking times plague us all, and they do hurt terribly.

It's good to claim more time and energy for your own health and fitness, and your opening up a leadership position is a gift to someone else's growth too.

Please handle this with love for yourself, borrowing a nutritious serving of that from the rest of us here with you as needed.

You stood by me during my own tough go this spring -- we stand strong together to hold each other up when frustration strikes. Love surround you like a protective shield and a blanket of comfort -- new sense of victory sprouting in you moment by moment to pop into awareness any minute!



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JOURNEY-2-JOY 6/30/2012 1:11PM

    This too shall pass! Hang in there emoticon

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PLMITCH 6/30/2012 10:39AM

    Hang in there Angela. Sending you positive vibes.... emoticon

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HDHAWK 6/30/2012 10:37AM

    Sometimes we seem to have times like this for no special reason. Remember that you are doing good things for yourself with good food and exercise. I have to be very careful about what I eat if I want the scale to move too.

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LINDA! 6/30/2012 10:29AM

    I hear ya. I have been there as well. Keep doing what you are doing. It really will pay off. Hugs to you!! emoticon

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L*I*T*A* 6/30/2012 9:56AM

    we have all been there done that at one time or another...
feel free to vent....we are here for you...
blessings and hugs...............lita

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MIZCATHI 6/30/2012 8:35AM

    Keep doing the right things by switching it up and finding the new you. You'll get back that positive beat soon, especially since it's your nature, but in the meantime I feel ya. Big Hugs.

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ELLIE381 6/30/2012 8:17AM

    So sorry you are feeling so down. emoticon

We all get down on ourselves. Wishing you all the best my friend.
You can share your feelings any day with me. emoticon emoticon

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JANET552 6/30/2012 6:57AM

    Hugs to you Angela. I wish the road you're on could be smooth but I have faith that you will weather these bumps. Be good to yourself.

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MDGARDENGIRL 6/30/2012 5:28AM

    You come first Angela. We all want what is best for you, because without you, our journey would not be as sweet or meaningful. So wipe those tears away and give your body and mind the rest it needs to help you think clearly and move forward.

Remember! This is Life..... not a Race!

Prayers and Hugs little Love Bug
xoxoxo Marg

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-POOKIE- 6/30/2012 4:48AM

    Dont be sorry for sharing your feelings.

Nobody MADE me read this, I read it because I wanted too and cared enough to reply to you.

Is there anything you need? New suggestions for eating? Exercise ideas? Somebody to rant too??


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BLUE42DOWN 6/30/2012 2:52AM


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SLIMLILA 6/30/2012 2:42AM

    Oh ANgela,
I am so sorry to hear you express your broken feeling. (MIght I say you did express it very well though!) You are always so upbeat and cheerful, hope it is just another bump in the road. I just read on a SP mail to remember to reward yourself for your accomplishments... and I know especially women usually forget to do that. Think of all you are doing. training for your first 5K, leading a team, how much have you lost? lots and lots, right? Don't worry about your comparing yourself to others, you may think you are not doing as much as some other leaders, but you are giving something special that no one else can give, and as my first principal at school said to me, "You don't know how much you are teaching!"

Hoping you feel so much better very, very soon.

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DEBBIEANNE1124 6/30/2012 1:49AM

    awww hugz Angela.
Sometimes we ahve our bad moments where we are not on our best positive attitudes are swept under the bed.I'm convinced your sunshine will come out really soon and make you smile again. Hang in there friend.

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PICKIE98 6/30/2012 12:41AM

    Just because you are not a leader on the team, does NOT mean your input and participation is not needed, nor valuable.
Sometimes we need to step away from certain things in our life to regroup, coming in at a different angle, This just happens to be YOUR time. Not forever, just now,, Sparks is about teamwork, support and choices. Your choices are needed for whatever reason, let others step up for now and let you get your stuff done..

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NOCALORIES 6/29/2012 11:59PM

    Stand with your head up. You have been a leader so acknowledge the giving you have done. Now be a leader to yourself and as you would be supportive to your teammates. Be supportive to yourself and encourage yourself to be your BEST!

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GOOSIEMOON 6/29/2012 11:44PM

    Do what you need to do and let the rest go.


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No Shame Binges...

Sunday, May 27, 2012

No Shame Binges…

What I need to tell myself and my Diabetic Friends…

So you found yourself stuffing yourself and eating everthing in sight. You can’t even remember all what you ate, but know you feel awful. You feel like a failure. You feel unworthy. You feel great shame.

The first thing to know is you should not feel shame. You should not feel this way.

Yes it happened. Let us move forward not live with regrets. You recognized that there was a problem and now we can figure out how to rectify it.

I have done things very similar and I can say that 9 times out of 10, I no longer react in the same way.

I am a diabetic as well. Let us address this first.

Diabetes and insulin can be a vicious cycle. Next time you feel hunger like this, or find yourself eating uncontrollably, make yourself test your blood sugar.

It may be midway through an eating binge, but test it anyhow. Many a binge is due to our 'mindless eating' caused by low blood sugars. It takes at least 20 minutes before the food we are consuming (depending on the type of food) starts to be converted to sugar. I don't know about you, but I can consume a heck of a lot in 20 minutes. I can also be a beotch with mood swings at times due to these low blood sugars; Just putting that out there.

You have been losing weight and eating less, that means if you take insulin and I am assuming you do, you need LESS. Otherwise you have lows and the mindless eating happens. I have had this experience and it is not pretty.

BUT! It can be fixed.

FIRST OFF YOU SHOULD BE IN CONTACT WITH YOUR DOCTOR OR HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONAL. Explain to them what is happening and have them help you with your adjustment of medications.

SO TEST TO BE SURE, hopefully at the beginning, but at least when you become aware of it.

Then take something that dissolves quickly into your blood stream like Dextrose sugar tablets or juice.

You will be aware and you will stop your eating, because you know WHY.

Bread and protein are not the choices to fix a low, they take even longer and slow the process which again allows us to eat even more.

The next thing to do is again leave it in the past and go forward. We have to work on our ALL OR NOTHING mentality. We all have it. So what if you had a binge and ate something you shouldn't have, you can much more easily overcome that meal or treat than an entire day+ of bad eating. As the Italians like to say 'FORGET ABOUT IT!'

If you feel your family may be enabling your bad eating by bringing things you don’t want or need into the house -- BE BLUNT! You have to spell it out that you don’t want it anywhere near you.

My DH recently said to me as he looked at my before pictures that 'HE NEVER SAW ME AS FAT, HE SAW ME AS HE KNEW ME AT MY BEST AND THAT WAS THE MENTAL IMAGE HE ALWAYS RETAINED.' Just like we don't see ourselves in the mirror, they don't see us as we are either.

ASK for their help. Tell them that if DH is to pick up dinner that he makes an honest effort to only pick up one serving of something healthy, no extra add-ons and certainly no super-size. (HAVE YOU WATCHED SUPER SIZE ME? YOU SHOULD, IT IS EYE OPENING).

Suggest that if they want a treat that they have it outside the home; never in sight of you; and certainly nothing left in the house. This will not be forever; it will be until you have learned not to eat what is in sight. I still struggle with this, but it is doable.

I know I haven't touched on all the issues that we can suffer when doing a mindless binge; but this is what is predominant to me and what needs to be addressed first.

More than half of my mindless eating binges were medical. I had low blood sugar. Once I addressed this so much fell into place and I could proceed with a feeling of control.

It is important not to 'GIVE UP'.

It will happen again as we lose the weight and inches it is a given that our medications or insulin need adjusting, so beware of what is happening to your body.
If you find yourself in the mindless eating binge again…ask yourself WHY?

So let me reiterate.

Insulin and diabetes never work the way we expect them too. I am not the norm, and I suspect you are not either in the sense that you are having ‘unconscious’ blood sugar lows. You are not aware you are having them and the high blood sugars you kept finding while eating and exercising is actually the after effect of your body’s response to correct itself.

The thing you NEED & HAVE to do is start logging your blood sugars before each meal and at bedtime for sure.

That is 4 times a day. Once you have that base line established you should start to see a pattern, if a pattern is showing highs (for example always in the morning after waking) when the preceding reading was normal, then you need to suspect that there is a blood sugar drop happening somewhere in between. Start testing in the middle of those time frames (for example high in morning; normal at bedtime with no or normal snack before bed; then test about 2 or 3 am).

You need to start listening to your body; it wants to be healthy too. If the readings are high or low, adjust.

Talk to your Doctor that would be best.

Listen when it tells you EAT NOW AND EAT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT; It is trying to protect you, and has slipped into Do or DIE mode.

It is not your fault and you can regain control.

Just start to recognize and question why.

It is important that you make your family aware that you are possibly having Diabetic issues and if they notice you behaving oddly or inhaling everything beyond reason to ask you if you have checked your blood sugar.

This is serious and should be taken so.

I know because I have been there too.

Hugs and love,

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RDY4THIN 6/29/2012 10:26PM

    Very Insightful Angela! I don't have diabetes but have known friends who have had and all you have said is very good to keep in mind. Listening to you body, you might be able to know what your body is telling you.... and you can adjust accordingly. some small proportion has blood sugar which seems almost impossible to control, but some have some cause if they look hard enough.
Congrats to you for being able to keep this line of spinning dishes (diabetes, life, and weight control) managed as well as you have. I still see all the exercise you do... wow! Keep up the good work!

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RIVADERCHI 6/28/2012 1:20AM

    Hi Angela, I "Liked" this blog! Informative and motivating. You are doing great! How is June treating you? It looks like you did your 5k from your pic?! Enjoy your Summer and stay cool! Thanks for the blog! emoticon emoticon

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MIZCATHI 6/21/2012 8:11PM

    I have been eating more than usual lately, and exercising less. Not all the way bad, but not good enough to keep those blood sugars in the proper range. Thanks for the reminder - I needed it!

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RORYLYONS 6/20/2012 3:35AM

    Thank you for this valuable info... emoticon

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LIVINGFREE19 6/8/2012 12:40AM

    Super job on the blog my friend!
I don't have Diabetes, but it sure is informative for someone that does. I am sorry to hear that you do have diabetes my friend.

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TEENY_BIKINI 6/6/2012 7:41PM

    Wow. This is really great!!


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MERRIKATE 6/3/2012 10:43PM

    Awesome blog, Angela -- nothing beats the voice of experience combined with brains and plain speaking! May I copy this to share with my diabetic daughter? I hope she one day may be blogging too, as she has lived all over the world, travelling on her own, and leads a very active life, but has had issues with her vision and circulation as well. She still eats a lot of sweet junk, and (like her Mum here) does not take as good care of herself as would be wise. Oh, we humans!! You're so right... ditch the guilt, and start again from here and now. As often as it takes to make a difference!!

Blessings for your blunt and compassionate words.
emoticon emoticon

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SLIMLILA 5/31/2012 11:50PM

    Incredible blog Angela! I hope this "goes viral" as they say cuz a lot of people could sure benefit from the well-written, very well explained info you put out there....

Some very good points you made and reminds me that I really do need to replace my diabetic strips, been out for about a month and had a lot of stress in that time, so it should be interesting when I start to check them again.... emoticon emoticon

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MESAMA 5/29/2012 11:45PM

    I've said this before and I'll say it again. You get it. We have talked about this issue before and I appreciate that you put it out there for everyone.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DEBBIEANNE1124 5/29/2012 8:16PM

    Very good blog Angela. Being diabetic I can relate. Even though I'm not on insulin it's the same here.

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LITTLETEAPOT17 5/29/2012 6:03PM

    Very well said Angela.
We all love you...
Hugs, p

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BBAMMOM 5/28/2012 10:54AM

    Very interesting. I'm not diabetic but a lot of the information pertains to all of us! I'm sure you will help many with your advice and experience!

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LYNMEINDERS 5/28/2012 4:59AM

    Awesome blog my friend....

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L*I*T*A* 5/27/2012 11:10PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BLUE42DOWN 5/27/2012 10:50PM

    Very useful information. I hope it is seen by as many people as might be helped by it!

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ASHAIXIM 5/27/2012 10:26PM

    Awesome!! Just a couple more things for folks to consider :)

1: if you are craving ice cream you are probably dehydrated. Seriously. They actually did tests on this!! Try drinking 16 oz of water (NOT SODA) and then 30 minutes later see if you still want ice cream!

2: medicine. I have had several shots (cortisome and other things they call cortosione but's actually something else) for pain and it WILL make your glucose go up and it WILL make your A1C go up and it WILL make you gain weight. I can't WAIT until my surgery 6/6 so I can get through this and then wean off the pain pills and not have any more shots. I am considering this my "change of life" - my mid life crisis or early "menopause" if you will LOL!! I am having 2 discs in my neck carved out and replaced with cages and a plate put over them to hold them all in place. :)

Other meds can mess you up as well so when you start taking medication, TALK to both the doctor when they subscribe it AND talk to the pharmacist. Try to go in early or late when they aren't so busy and ask them about any side affects, interactions, if there are any that should be taken a certain amount of time apart, etc. and be sure to read the inserts. They can mess you up just taking them and if you are on insulin then even more so. Be educated!! No one is going to be able to take better care of you then you!!

Comment edited on: 5/27/2012 10:29:25 PM

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CANDOK1260 5/27/2012 10:10PM

    emoticon BLOG emoticon GOR SHARING THE GREAT INFO

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ELLIE381 5/27/2012 8:46PM

    Great information!!! emoticon

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TEXASFILLY 5/27/2012 8:41PM

    What a wealth of info, Angela~ *hugs* Thanks for sharing your wisdom and experience. *hugs* BB~ emoticon emoticon

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BARBARAHOBBIT 5/27/2012 7:03PM

    Thank you so much for sharing, your Blog answers so many questions.

My problem is tha I do not check BS. I was diagnosed roughly 3 months ago, and was given an appt with the Diabetic Nurse a week later. She asked me to promise her I would do the following.
1. Eat 3 meals a day.

2. Drink plenty of Water - min 8 cups a day.

3. Remove as much sugar from my diet as possible.

4. Follow a balanced diet ( she gave me a copy of the 'Plate' diagram).

She also weighed me, checked my Blood Pressure, and checked my BS. I asked her if I would need to check my own BS levels, and if so how often should I do it. She said she would check my BS every time I went to the Clinic ( about once a month) and not to worry.
I am not on any meds for my Diabetes, I am trying to control it with a healthy eating plan and Lifestyle change..

I have had episodes of uncontrolable hunger, usually it comes with a dizzy sort of weak feeling in my limbs. I had assumed that it must be due to low blood sugars, but I havn't been able to actually check. I must say though since joining SparkPeople and using the Diabetic Nuitrition Menu Plan and tracking every day, without fail, I havn't had it happen again.

I am due back to see her next month when she has scheduled fasting bloods, and Urine tests, to see how I am coping. I presume if the tests show I am not controlling very well she may want to put me on some form of meds, but I would like to avoid that if I can.

I will, if you don't mind , add you as a friend. I welcome any advice you can give me, and thank you once again for your fantastic Blog.


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MNJONES2 5/27/2012 5:49PM

    Thank you for this important post! I am not diabetic but I am going to print it off and give to a friend of mine who is struggling with hers. Also you are right - the all or nothing thought process needs to change for us all. Knowing WHY we binge is so important for us all.

Thanks again Angela - you are the best.

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MDGARDENGIRL 5/27/2012 5:29PM

    Great advice Angela! Sharing your experiences will help many.

xoxoxo..... Marg

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GROKGRANNY 5/27/2012 2:38PM

    Great blog! My husband is an insulin dependent diabetic. Mostly we are chronically dealing w/numbers that are higher. But he struggles w/rebound hypo episodes. He tests 4x day and when he follows the Paleo guidelines I lay out he does well. Stress & illness also elevates his sugar. It sure is a juggling act but you are right...there should be no shame attached to it. We are oh so human after all. We all make mistakes!!

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    Great blog. Such wisdom. Hugs

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Sometimes it doesn't matter....but it does.

Sunday, May 06, 2012

Sometimes it doesn't matter....but it does.


Let me explain...

I have a friend who eats right all the time.

I have a friend who exercises on a regular basis, doing all the things we should be doing.

I have a friend who loves life and all it brings, who brings joy to all who know her.

I had a friend who died when she did all the things right she was supposed to do.

Sometimes it doesn't matter....but it does.

I could continue to cry 'WHY?' but why?

She lived life to the fullest.

She scuba dived to the depths of the ocean.

She now soars to the highest heights of heaven.

She inspired me.

She continues to inspire me.

I will and am eating right.

I will and am exercising and doing the things I should.

By doing this for myself, I inspire and love the people around me.

As she did.

So as her favorite quote says...


By doing this we live our lives as best we can, with no regrets.

Hugs and love,

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Sweetness, I'm sorry about your friend. Your friend gave to you as you did her and as you do us. In sharing her spirit, she's here with all of us.

I love you.


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GROKGRANNY 5/20/2012 3:52PM

    I hate that we have to continually hit the subscribe button on our friend's blogs!! SO ANNOYING. Like can I do it once and be done with it??

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PMAY0313 5/18/2012 9:47AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MNJONES2 5/16/2012 9:54PM

    You loved your friend and she loved you. Thank you for sharing with the rest of us. sending you a big hug.

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JUSTBIRDY 5/11/2012 10:26AM


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MESAMA 5/8/2012 11:34PM

    Beautiful! Thank you for carrying on her legacy and in turn touching my life and inspiring me and so many others!
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LIVINGFREE19 5/8/2012 6:34PM

    She was so foryunate to have you as a friend also.
I am sad for you, about losing your friend.
It doesn't seem right when someone who is doing all the right things, still dies. Yet, those who live a different life, live so long. Only God knows why, and we will find out someday from him.

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BLUE42DOWN 5/8/2012 2:42PM


She may not have had a long life, but living right meant she didn't waste what she had. What a great quote from her!

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ASHAIXIM 5/7/2012 8:28PM

    My sister is beginning her fight of stage four cancer right now. She's got three small children, one only 6mo... but I agree she's done a lot in her life (hopefully she'll do a lot more) but you are so right... it doesn't matter what you do, sometimes that's just it. So, do it now... you might not get a change to later.

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GROKGRANNY 5/7/2012 8:07AM

    Very well written. All any of us can do is DO OUR BEST!

Hormones can wreak havoc on your ability to lose weight. Thyroid, sex hormones, cortisol. STRESS affects them all.

I am so done with the striving. My goal is to be healthy and to be happy and be of service to God and my fellow man. Killing myself in the process? Well, I guess wisdom comes with aging. My body does not react well to the increased stress. It seeks balance in all things.

Breathe deep and enjoy the process and enjoy the journey!

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LYNMEINDERS 5/7/2012 6:57AM

    A big AMEN to your blog

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RIKKI572 5/6/2012 10:04PM


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BOVEY63 5/6/2012 9:37PM

    Such a beautiful tribute to your friend.

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RONOSOF 5/6/2012 8:11PM

    bless bless... your friend inspires you and you inspire us with this tribute. Thank you

Mary in Boston

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    I've seen that quote so many times, but, I never stopped to appreciate them or process the deeper meaning.
I'm very sorry for the unexplicable loss of your friend.
Thank you for the remind to cherish the time we are gifted.

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ELLIE381 5/6/2012 2:40PM

    Sometimes it just doesn't make sense. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MDGARDENGIRL 5/6/2012 2:09PM

    Oh Angela, you said that soooooo well! And what a tribute to your dear friend.

As much as she was an inspiration to you, I am sure you inspired her as well. You have been through so much and are always so sweet and loving! Just looking at you is your testimony.

It's important to learn from yesterday, but don't let it keep you from moving forward today.

No regrets! I like that!

xoxoxo Marg

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L*I*T*A* 5/6/2012 1:48PM

    her spirit lives on in you....
what awesome memories.....
what an inspiration you are to so many here...
blessings and hugs.............lita

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DEBBIEANNE1124 5/6/2012 1:02PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
Sometimes it just isn't fair...

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TEXASFILLY 5/6/2012 12:37PM

    emoticonAngela, I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like she was a marvelous friend who not only led an exemplary life, she was an excellent role model to those whose lives she touched. I'm so glad you were her friend and that she passed along her love and dedication as inspiration for you because you most certainly are an inspiration to me and many others here at SP. God bless you, my friend. *hugs* BB~ emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MISSILENE 5/6/2012 12:28PM

    Sounds like you have lots of friends. To have a friend~ you have to be one. hugs. emoticon emoticon

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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

No say it isn't so!

I have looked for years back at the goddess of screen, Marilyn Monroe for many reasons.

The one main being that if she looked that good, that sexy and was a size 14, well there was hope for me too!

Little did I know that clothier companies have decided to do a bit of 'VANITY SIZING' for the expanding population.

I mean I suspected, but it wasn't until I could say I am wearing a size 12 that I really decided to have a look. I haven't worn a size 12 since high school, it is a big deal to me, and I thought hey I am going to celebrate being Marilyn's size or smaller.

Yeah right.

According to vintage clothing sizes, and Marilyn's clothes fall into that category, what we call a size 14 now was....wait for it....

a size 8!

If I want to look as hot as Marilyn Monroe, I have more work to be done.

I really should of known better, I mean come on this is the film industry where minuscule can be too big.

Oh well, i am still rocking my size 12's!



  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASHAIXIM 5/7/2012 8:32PM

    Hey, I'd be thrilled with a size 20!! LOL!! It's all perspective baby!!

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STSCOTT11 4/25/2012 3:26PM

    Let's not be too surprised the media has dupped us AGAIN.
Marilyn Monroe's WHOLE PERSONA was AN ACT. Her beauty was A GIFT.
Just remember people we do know OF TODAY that have been teased about THEIR WEIGHT. This isn't the first time we looked at someone and said...they were FINE THEY WAY THEY ARE. Or HEY! I am THAT SIZE...wait a minute.
If you love Marilyn...check her out for yourselves.
Just so happen we watched a new movie of MM last night called My Week with Marilyn Monroe. The lady they got to play her LOOKED HER SIZE...and quite honestly she didn't look like a size 8 either...she looked smaller.
Not to add insult to injury...but just saying even with a black woman shape ...I have had 37" hips and a 27" (her is SAID to be even small at 24") waist at 127 lbs. as an adult AFTER having THREE kids...and I could wear a size 5/6 perfectly.
Just goes to show how looking in the mirror is our best bet...everytime.

Comment edited on: 4/26/2012 9:37:25 AM

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SNOWANGELDIVA 4/25/2012 2:42PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
I heard and suspected that same glad to see your write up.
Congratuations on your success!!!

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AMYNYNJ 4/25/2012 12:02AM

    I'm right there with you. 12 rocks!

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LIVINGFREE19 4/24/2012 9:16PM

    Rock your size 12!!!
I wish I could rock a size 12!

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MOSTMOM1 4/23/2012 10:25AM

    What??? Nooooooooooo! But she looks like a size 12/14, or is it because I'm comparing her to today's actresses who are size -2? Dangit. Oh well. Woohoo for your size 12s!!!!!! Holy moly, that's Wonder Woman size to me. Sha-BAM! You go, girl!!
emoticon emoticon

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    Great blog. A friend of mine educated me about vanity sizing. Crazy isn't it? But a size 12 is FANTASTIC and you deserve to be proud.

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BBAMMOM 4/20/2012 12:44PM

    I love it! And you're rockin' in your size 12! Way to go, gf!!

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MNJONES2 4/19/2012 12:50AM

    congratulations on your size 12!! You look great!!

I find shopping very tiresome as the size I think i am is never the size that fits!! And I swear I have 3 pair of shorts that are all the same but the size tag inside is different in each one!! I wish that women could buy clothes like men do.... by the measurement... of course then mine would all be size FLAT!! HA!

Going to put my feet up and relax now. Have a great day tomorrow!

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GROKGRANNY 4/18/2012 10:29PM

    Size 12 would be a dream come true for me! For me it was another life, as well. I'm fitting comfortably into a 16W...but it is clearly not where I want to be.

Size 8 as the new 14? Ridiculous!

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TEXASFILLY 4/18/2012 6:35PM

    I say go for her measurements and screw the "fashion" industry, gf! You are doing FAB~ulous! Keep up your AWE~some efforts! *hugs* BB~ emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ELLIE381 4/18/2012 6:15PM

    You are doing emoticonno matter what the size says. You are rocking your clothes. emoticon emoticon

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BOVEY63 4/18/2012 5:16PM

    Keep rockin' on! You are doing, and look, awesome!
My mom has for years questioned clothes sizing from the time she was in her teens and twenties to today. I'll have to give her the information you printed.

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EGALITAIRE 4/18/2012 2:51PM

    It's good to have goals and to look to others for inspiration, but really, the only person to compare ourselves to is .... wait for it ..... us.

Only I know if I am a better person today than I was yesterday, in whatever way I want to measure better.

You are making gains, getting better everyday, remember to celebrate that.

Stay Strong and Spark On

Comment edited on: 4/18/2012 4:30:00 PM

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-LINDA_S 4/18/2012 2:44PM

    emoticon Doubt I'll ever hit size 12, so enjoy it very much!

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MARTI1957 4/18/2012 12:27PM

    Angela, You rock it girl and continue to love your size 12's. emoticon Marti

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SAVANNAHZMOMMA1 4/18/2012 11:00AM

    What people said, and what a completely interesting post!

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MAMAWLINDALOU 4/18/2012 10:57AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ANGELA2B 4/18/2012 8:07AM

    Hey, congrats! I think a 12 is awesome! A 12 is a distant dream to me right now! emoticon

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L*I*T*A* 4/18/2012 7:41AM

    emoticon emoticon

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HARPERLADY 4/18/2012 6:27AM

    you rock em girl!!! emoticon, down to a 12 is awesome! no matter what, lol,

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MISSILENE 4/18/2012 5:27AM

    I love your thinking.. So proud of your Nsv. YOU are the BEST, YOu ARe DoInG gREAT.

Keep up the good work.....Love your positive attitude also. Hugs to you..... emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/18/2012 5:27:38 AM

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LYNMEINDERS 4/18/2012 3:41AM

    You are getting there though and thats the main ill be there before you know it.....

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SLIMLILA 4/18/2012 1:22AM

    Hey, if you think Marilyn Munroe looked good, what's wrong with being the Size 14 or whatever.... You have done a remarkable job of getting yourself in shape and losing lots and lots, be proud of yourself to be into a Sze. 12... that' great.... and (try a different brand emoticon.... different brands are made different sizes... (I picked up a pair of pants that were mis-sized but I love thinking that I have a pair of Sz. 6 that fit me.... Keep up the great work! you've done wonderfully, keep it up!!! I mean get it down!!! emoticon

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DEBBIEANNE1124 4/18/2012 12:57AM

    You're doing an excellent job of it with those size 12's too.

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RIVADERCHI 4/18/2012 12:32AM

    Thanks for the info! emoticon

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SIGMA1208 4/18/2012 12:07AM

    size 12 is a great size.....but it always made to look larger than it is...

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Little Red Riding Hood … and breaking with Tradition

Monday, April 09, 2012

Little Red Riding Hood … and breaking with Tradition

Off to Grandma’s house I go (or in this case Nan’s).
Over mountains, rivers, lakes and streams,
Through forests, clouds and freezing rain,
Only to be stopped in my tracks by a back log of vehicles…

Highway closed.

What?? How could this be?

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, yes it snowed, yes there was ice but?
Oh, prayers to the individuals hurt in a semi rollover. No fatalities that I know of, thank you God.

The highway was closed for hours and I was only 2 hours from home. Of course stuck where I could not turn around or get off. I am Thankful for a full tank of gas and a few snacks, if only there was a washroom!

Finally our journey began again, over mountains and through the snow, to Grandma’s house we go!

After what normally would take about 6 hours we got there in 9, safe and sound.

However the wolf had tried to stop us.

You see it is tradition to stop for lunch in Golden, BC and usually I would have donuts, or sweetened ice coffee or both. The wolf offered…

I declined.

I stayed strong and had a coffee, my water and light yogurt with fruit (fresh). That was all I wanted, all I needed. I stayed strong.

The wolf disappeared for a while, only to appear in Sicamous, BC where tradition reigned again.

You see it is Tradition to stop there at the D DUTCHMAN DAIRY for fresh made ice cream. The wolf offered…

I declined.

Take that you wolf! We were on our merry way to Grandma’s house again.

Our arrival was joyous and filled with love.

My Grandparents are in their 90’s and every moment is precious. I know I have blogged of them before, but they are such an important part of my life, that you’re bound to hear of them again.

My basket (or trunk in this case) was filled with soups, delicious healthy food, and yes, a few chocolates for my Nan. It was Easter after all!

We had a healthy delicious dinner with them. The wolf in sheep’s clothing (my Nan) offered me chocolates…

I declined.

The wolf in sheep’s clothing had planned a birthday party for me (early for me as it is on the 25th) as I would not be seeing my Grandparents until some distant time in the future. The wolf offered me Black forest cake…

I accepted….a small piece.

Hey! It was my birthday celebration. I can be strong in many ways, but I choose to have a piece. It was delicious and I did not go back for more.

The next day I walked almost all of Salmon Arm, BC. I had to walk off my treat. I think I did pretty good.

We even went to play mini golf and enjoy the warmer temperatures and spring green showing through. The wolf showed himself again.

You see it is tradition to have an ICE CREAM after a game of mini golf.

I declined.

My breakfast was only fruit and yogurt; my lunch was only soup; My afternoon snack was a coffee and we again had a nutritious dinner with my grandparents.

The wolf tried to raise his head many more times during our visit and journey.

I am proud to say I declined.

It is paying off this declining of the wolf. I found a gorgeous dress in a MEDIUM that fits perfectly.

That is my reward.

All though the greatest reward was the awe and happiness in my Grandparents eyes when they saw me in the flesh so to speak; it had been almost 8 months since they had seen me. We can’t travel well in the winter over the mountains.

I have lost a lot of weight and a lot more inches, now that is progress to see it measured in a loved one’s eyes.

Hugs and love,

The Three Sisters near Canmore, AB

Mount Rundle near Banff, AB

Snow along the highway

Shuswap Lake, Salmon Arm, BC

My son, My Nan & I

My Son and Grandpa (his great)

The dress I bought compared with one I wore last summer.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LITTLETEAPOT17 4/14/2012 10:06AM

    Angela this was the most beautiful and creative story! It incorporated so many elements that I can't begin to discuss them here--just know it was brilliant and a loving adventure about your journey and the love you have for your Grandparents.

I am so glad you wrote this and look at you! OMG! You look like a freaking teenager!! So Beautiful my Love!!

I loved, loved, this and I love you too! You are getting stronger every day!! Love that...

How blessed we are to call you friend.
Hugs, p

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MNJONES2 4/13/2012 3:42PM

    AND I forgot to say Happy Easter, Happy Birthday and remember your buddies love ya!

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MNJONES2 4/13/2012 3:38PM

    I am so happy that you had such a wonderful trip!! AND you kept the wolf at bay!! TADA!

You look absolutely beautiful and your family is just lovely. Keep up the great work dear friend

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MIZCATHI 4/13/2012 6:50AM

    You declined the food - but look at all the beauty and love you ACCEPTED! Wonderful!

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MIZCATHI 4/13/2012 6:50AM

    You declined the food - but look at all the beauty and love you ACCEPTED! Wonderful!

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MESAMA 4/11/2012 11:13PM

    Oh my goodness! Beautiful Mountains! Beautiful Nan! Beautiful boy! Beautiful grandpa! Beautiful dress! Beautiful YOU! You are awesome! I really did love the dress comparison! That is great... Keep up the good work!

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MOSTMOM1 4/10/2012 1:24PM

    Oh my gosh, Angela! Those pictures are great! How cute is your son in his bow tie?? And you look amazing; that dress--wow, what a difference. I'm sure your family is very proud of you. The wolf had better watch his back. He has nothing on you!

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BBAMMOM 4/10/2012 8:50AM

    What a wonderful blog!! I love everything about it, but especially the pictures. Your grandparents not only look wonderful but they are a true gift to you and your family. I'm sure they love you no matter what, but oh how proud they must be of you now.

Keep declining the wolf. You are amazing!!

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MDGARDENGIRL 4/10/2012 7:35AM

    Awesome story from our AWESOME Angela!!! Your Grandparents love you in all ways, but I'm sure they love the joy in your eyes!

Canada Rockies are the most beautiful sight! Thank you for sharing.

xoxoxo Marg

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LYNMEINDERS 4/10/2012 4:31AM

    Go you....
i need to start declining the wolf as well...
I give into him far too often.....

Love the dress....look foreward to seeing it on you////

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BLUE42DOWN 4/10/2012 3:01AM

    Loved your way of looking at all those temptations as offerings of the big bad wolf. Very well done for resisting most and making a carefully considered choice on the one!

Incredible difference in the dresses!

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    So proud of you for resting the wolf. Way to go. Love the dress comparison.

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AMYNYNJ 4/9/2012 11:26PM

    emoticon you look amazing!

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ASHAIXIM 4/9/2012 9:00PM

    LOL!! LOVE IT :)

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L*I*T*A* 4/9/2012 7:56PM

    love the blog.....great photos too
have a great week ....
blessings and hugs......lita

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LIVINGFREE19 4/9/2012 5:44PM

    Awesome blog!
I love your photos.
You look like a truly happy person, and genuine!

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DEBBIEANNE1124 4/9/2012 5:31PM

    Beautiful pict5ures and nice story/trip. You are looking Fabulous!

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BAREFOOTN 4/9/2012 5:06PM

    What a great story and wonderful pics!! Great job with keeping the wolf away!! emoticon

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MISSILENE 4/9/2012 5:04PM

    Oh you are so cute. I totally love the story. I love the word decline. instead of deny. And the dress is your reward (as you say) your reward you will be receiving when you are Nan's age. Longevity is the reward. Other than that you look lovely. Your grandparents I am sure love you just for who you are. I love you. OMG I have never seen such scenery in my life. We here in Florida don't have mountains and snow. We have palm trees. You are doing great.
Don't you love all the NSVS? This is your life...hugs

Comment edited on: 4/9/2012 5:04:52 PM

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ELLIE381 4/9/2012 4:57PM

    What a great blog Angela.

emoticon emoticonyou are so strong. The wolf didn't beat you.
A wonderful time with family. So wonderful! A nice new dress also.

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BOVEY63 4/9/2012 4:12PM

    Loved this blog! You did awesome and happy to hear you made it there safe and prayers for those involved in the accident.

I had a piece of birthday cake too. Mine is next Monday so we kind of celebrated together!
Awesome pictures - you look fabulous!

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TEXASFILLY 4/9/2012 3:19PM

    emoticon You LOOK FAB~ulous, Angela dear! YAY! And I'm so happy you got to spend some quality time with your precious grandparents! Amazing how your son is the spitting image of his Great~Grandpa, too. Most of all, I'm so proud of your determination in the face of the wolf to overcome the temptations that are so temporarily enjoyed. Your new SMALLER dress is gorgeous and I'd love to see you in it! Keep it up, sweetie~ you are AWE~some! *hugs* BB~ emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    What a great story I enjoyed reading it. Congratulations on declining all of the temptations. You are doing so good. Keep up the good work!!

emoticon emoticon

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    Angela, you lok fabulous!
Good news is when you resist the 'wolf' he eventually gets bored and moves on to easier prey.
You ROCKED your visit to Grandma's House!
Beautiful pictures!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CELEST 4/9/2012 3:02PM

    Wow your grand parents looks amazing for folks in their 90's emoticon
Lovely photo of you all.
Now Mr Wolf....the parties over so BEGONE! emoticon

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