I USED TO BE... NOW I AM …AND I WILL BE!

Monday, January 02, 2012

I USED TO BE... NOW I AM …AND I WILL BE!
*(This is a take off a previous blog I wrote, I am doing this as a challenge to see where I am now and where I will be.)

I USED TO BE just a spark friend.
NOW I AM considered a spark MOTIVATOR.
AND I WILL be a sparkfriend who motivates and inspires herself and others.

I USED TO BE a quiet introvert, who stayed home as much as I could...
NOW I AM an extrovert most times who is like a social butterfly upon leaving her cocoon.
AND I WILL BE a strong, forthright individual, whom is not afraid to face the world.

I USED TO BE a mother whose son told his teacher that my favourite position was lying on the sofa reading a book...
NOW I AM a mother who never sits still.
AND I WILL BE a mother who takes the time for her child, while accomplishing all that needs be done.

I USED TO BE a mother who was too tired to play with her son when he was small...
NOW I AM a mother who has the energy and will to do so; but my son is too tired from growing into an adult.
AND I WILL BE a mother/grandmother who plays and listens to her children/grandchildren; whom fulfills their needs and is someone to be proud of.

I USED TO BE a wife who kept a fairly tidy house and always had scrumptious, yet unhealthy goodies in the freezer and the cupboards...
NOW I AM proud to have a very clean home, with only healthy, nutritious foods in our fridge, freezer and cupboards.
AND I WILL BE able to have a clean home, good wholesome, healthy nutritious meals and a well-fed family.

I USED TO BE a wife with a constant headache...
NOW I AM sure that is no more.
AND I WILL BE all I need to be to ensure our continued happiness.


I USED TO BE a Baker who loved what she made and ate it all...
NOW I AM a baker who doesn’t eat bread.
AND I WILL BE a baker who enjoys her trade and makes/bakes again in a whole new way that ensures my health and new way of life.

I USED TO BE an agreeable sort and never disagree with anyone...
NOW I AM a person who stands up for what I believe is right for me and for the good of others.
AND I WILL BE one to continue to do so.

I USED TO BE invisible....
Now I AM very visible.
AND I WILL BE visible and comfortable in my new body.

I USED TO BE a person who walked hunched and never made eye contact...
NOW I AM an individual who walks with confidence, head up, shoulders back and eye contact with a smile.
AND I WILL BE one who continues to do so.

I USED TO BE a person others scorned or ridiculed...
NOW I AM
AND WILL BE someone others admire.

I USED TO BE an object of pity...
NOW I AM that no more.
AND I WILL BE never again.

I USED TO BE someone who would buy clothes to hide my body behind...
NOW I AM
AND WILL BE someone who buys clothes that actually fit.

I USED TO BE classified as morbidly obese...
NOW I AM just obese.
AND I WILL BE a normal healthy weight and BMI.

I USED TO BE a size 22...
NOW I AM a size 12-14.
AND I WILL BE a size 8 very soon.

I USED TO BE 265 lbs.
NOW I AM 194 lbs.
AND I WILL BE 140 lbs.

I USED TO BE dependent on 5 needles and 90 units of insulin a day to help my diabetes...
NOW I inject 4 needles and 38 units of insulin a day.
AND I WILL BE less than half that!

I USED TO BE a person who exercised rarely...
NOW I AM
AND WILL BE a person who exercises regularly.

I USED TO BE a person who never stopped eating...
NOW I AM a person who stops before she is full.
AND I WILL BE a person who only eats for fuel not pleasure.

I USED TO BE someone I hated.
NOW I AM becoming someone I like.
AND I WILL BE someone whom I love.

I USED TO BE someone who only dreamed of reaching for her goals...
NOW I AM someone who has achieved her goals and created new ones.
AND I WILL BE someone who reaches the stars to become one herself.

WHO DID YOU USE TO BE? WHO ARE YOU NOW? AND WHO WILL YOU BE?

Hugs,
Angela

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THE GREATEST GIFT...Spark Motivator!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU MY SPARK FRIENDS!



What a surprise this morning! When I went to open my email and found a note saying that "The SparkPeople Community thinks you are a motivation to others!" Well... you could of blew my socks off!

I have a smile a mile wide on my face and instead of heading out the door to visit my sister, I am here letting you know how much this means to me.
My sister can wait the short time it takes me to say how much each of you mean to me; how each of you have helped me on my journey; how if I have helped you one iota of what you have done to help me, well you have made my heart soar and the angels sing.

I enjoy my time here on Spark, meeting new and old Spark friends; learning things that could help me and hopefully imparting little golden nuggets of wisdom that I have learned on my journey. I can't thank Chris Downie enough for sharing his vision with all of us. Spark has been a huge part of my journey to better health; to regaining my love of life and myself.

I have always struggled with weight, as most of you know and most of you struggle with as well.



We all are here for a reason. Whether it be for weight loss; friendship; support; knowledge or a variety of other personal reasons.

On our own it doesn't always work.

But with the power of spark; the friendships; and the support we find here...

We are stronger together and we WILL SUCCEED!



My Journey isn't over...but with all of you and the support here on Spark People...

I WILL SUCCEED AND I WILL HELP YOU ON YOUR JOURNEY AS YOU HAVE HELPED ME ON MINE.

Love and hugs,
Angela

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Where's the plumber when you need one?

Monday, December 19, 2011

I have a leak...

Boy there are lots of different thoughts with that one!
When I said that to a friend yesterday, she thought I needed depends!
Uh yeah, I mean NO!

Not that kind of leak.

My Surgeon suspects that my lapband is leaking.
I am fine and no pain at all, I just have saline solution leaking into my abdominal cavity.
Am awaiting a call from the Hospital to schedule a special x-ray using dye to confirm the leak and it's whereabouts.

I don't have the restriction I should, and there is fluid missing from my Band.
Once the x-ray confirms it, I may need surgery. Depending where it will be either a local or full anesthetic.

Of course who knows when the call will come through. It is Christmas and our hospitals are short staffed as it is. I hope I have patience, I have never been good at waiting. Oh well, lots to keep me busy for now, so that is fine.

Will let you know when I know.

Hugs,
Angela

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UPDATE...

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

THIS IS AN UPDATE TO MY SPARK ANGELS.

The ones who have given my advice, love and support with my recent dilemma.

We are continuing to make progress, we have changed vitamins (increased); got SAD lamp therapy; upped the exercise; taken some time off work; and talked... a LOT.

I am still trying to get with a doctor, but that seems to be a sticking point.
I believe this was caused by medications that they are currently taking. Some of this has been self-adjusted and I feel needs to be tweaked back in place by a professional.

I hope to go with them this week as they are taking time off.

I know this sounds very little, but it is in fact great strides too. The positive, happy face I see now is way better than before, hoping it holds.

I personally am feeling better. I have experienced anger and tears, but they are improving in each case.

Wish me well.

Love and thanks.
Angela

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The Simple White Envelope (a Christmas story)

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

SIMPLE WHITE ENVELOPE

It's just a small white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree.
No name, no identification, no inscription.
It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past 10 years or so.

It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas
--oh, not the true meaning of Christmas,
but the commercial aspects of it -- the overspending,
the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry
and the dusting powder for Grandma
-- the gifts given in desperation because you couldn't think of anything else.

Knowing he felt this way,
I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties, and so forth.
I reached for something special just for Mike.
The inspiration came in an unusual way.
Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year,
was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended.

Shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team
sponsored by an inner-city church.

These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings
seemed to be the only thing holding them together,
presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms
and sparkling new wrestling shoes.
As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team
was wrestling without headgear,
a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler's ears.
It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford.

Well, we ended up walloping them.
We took every weight class.
And as each of their boys got up from the mat,
he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado,
a kind of street pride that couldn't acknowledge defeat.

Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly,
'I wish just one of them could have won,' he said.
'They have a lot of potential,
but losing like this could take the heart right out of them.'
Mike loved kids -- all kids -- and he knew them,
having coached little league football, baseball, and lacrosse.

That's when the idea for his present came.
That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church.
On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree,
the note inside telling Mike what I had done
and that this was his gift from me.
His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years.
For each Christmas, I followed the tradition
--one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game,
another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers
whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on.
The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas.
It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning,
and our children, ignoring their new toys,
would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents.

As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents,
but the envelope never lost its allure.
The story doesn't end there.
You see, we lost Mike last year due to cancer.
When Christmas rolled around,
I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up.
But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree,
and in the morning it was joined by three more.
Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others,
had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad.
The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further
with our grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed anticipation
watching as their fathers take down the envelope.
Mike's spirit, like the Christmas spirit, will always be with us.

May we all remember the true Christmas spirit this year and always.


*(this is a story shared with me from a friend. I do not know the author).

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