Sunday, November 20, 2011
I USED TO BE...
I USED TO BE a quiet introvert, who stayed home as much as I could...
...now I am an extrovert most times who is like a social butterfly upon leaving her cocoon.
I USED TO BE a mother whose son told his teacher that my favourite position was lying on the sofa reading a book...
...now I am a mother who never sits still.
I USED TO BE a mother who was too tired to play with her son when he was small...
...now I have the energy and will to do so; but my son is too tired from growing into an adult.
I USED TO BE a wife who kept a fairly tidy house and always had scrumptious, yet unhealthy goodies in the freezer and the cupboards...
...now I have a very clean home, with only healthy, nutritious foods in our fridge, freezer and cupboards.
I USED TO BE a wife with a constant headache...
...now that is no more.
I USED TO BE a Baker who loved what she made and ate it all...
...now I am a baker who doesn’t eat bread.
I USED TO BE an agreeable sort and never disagree with anyone...
...now I stand up for what I believe is right for me and for the good of others.
I USED TO BE invisible....
...now I am very visible.
I USED TO BE a person who walked hunched and never made eye contact...
...now I walk with confidence, head up, shoulders back and eye contact with a smile.
I USED TO BE a person others scorned or ridiculed...
...now I am someone others admire.
I USED TO BE an object of pity...
...now that is no more.
I USED TO BE someone who would buy clothes to hide my body behind...
...now I buy clothes that actually fit.
I USED TO BE classified as morbidly obese...
...now I am just obese.
I USED TO BE a size 22...
...now I am a size 12-14.
I USED TO BE dependent on 5 needles and 90 units of insulin a day to help my diabetes...
...now I inject 4 needles and 38 units of insulin a day.
I USED TO BE a person who exercised rarely...
...now I am a person who exercises regularly.
I USED TO BE a person who never stopped eating...
...now I am a person who stops before she is full.
I USED TO BE someone who only dreamed of reaching for her goals...
...now I am someone who has achieved her goals and created new ones.
WHO DID YOU USE TO BE?
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Who are You?
Do I know You?
You look familiar but...not quite sure.
Have we Met?
OH! Your Me?!
Wow! you are me? You are me???
Which one am I?
Am I You?
The One I never realized had gotten so BIG?
Who hid her hurt under layers of food?
Who smiled and laughed and wished with all her heart that she would wake up one sunny morning and realize that it was just a bad dream. The one that dreamed that it was just pillows under her shirt and she would pull them out and be a skinny, just like those around her. ...
Bet no one realized that when I was smiling and laughing, I was also crying inside.
Nobody really looked...
I am not saying they didn't care, they just never really took the time to look...
Or Am I You?
The one I see in the mirror lately....
The one that I stop and look twice at?
Not quite sure it is me looking back.
I mean you are me, but not quite. I seem to like you better than the other me. You tend to do more and try new things. You are happier on the inside than I ever was on the outside. Your healthier and embracing a healthier lifestyle, whereas before I tried, but didn't get anywhere. I didn't always pick myself up...Now you pick yourself up before you touch the ground.
You inspire the old me.
You shame the old me.
When I look at you both side by side....
I think I am really somewhere in the middle. I am no longer the girl on the left, but I don't feel like I am the girl on the right yet either. My mind is slow to catch up to the physical changes that are affecting me.
What is that? You are not done? Your not where you want to be yet? There is another me to come?
Oh My....Who are You?
Who am I....
Thursday, October 20, 2011
I get so MAD!
So very MAD at myself!
Why? You ask...well you asked for it!
I get MAD when I eat right!
... I exercise the way I am supposed to!
... and it ALL falls apart in a matter of seconds, maybe minutes.
I could just, just ....
...and there in lies the problem.
With all my healthy habits lately, my insulin is again going out of whack.
I had a Diabetic low last night, that found me filling my face with the wrong foods. I had already downed a couple greek yogurts, a banana, a rice pudding, 2 sugar tablets, before I became conciously aware that I was in trouble and what I was downing.
Of course then I skyrocketed with my blood sugar into out of orbit!
It blew my caloric intake out of the water; my sugars into orbit; my mood down the toilet; and my energy into the past.
It also made me appreciate the day more. The people whom I love. That includes you my spark friends.
If one day I don't wake up, I want you to know I love ya.
But! I am not ready for that, so in the meantime, I am around to cheer you on and appreciate all the little things.
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