Thursday, October 27, 2011
Who are You?
Do I know You?
You look familiar but...not quite sure.
Have we Met?
OH! Your Me?!
Wow! you are me? You are me???
Which one am I?
Am I You?
The One I never realized had gotten so BIG?
Who hid her hurt under layers of food?
Who smiled and laughed and wished with all her heart that she would wake up one sunny morning and realize that it was just a bad dream. The one that dreamed that it was just pillows under her shirt and she would pull them out and be a skinny, just like those around her. ...
Bet no one realized that when I was smiling and laughing, I was also crying inside.
Nobody really looked...
I am not saying they didn't care, they just never really took the time to look...
Or Am I You?
The one I see in the mirror lately....
The one that I stop and look twice at?
Not quite sure it is me looking back.
I mean you are me, but not quite. I seem to like you better than the other me. You tend to do more and try new things. You are happier on the inside than I ever was on the outside. Your healthier and embracing a healthier lifestyle, whereas before I tried, but didn't get anywhere. I didn't always pick myself up...Now you pick yourself up before you touch the ground.
You inspire the old me.
You shame the old me.
When I look at you both side by side....
I think I am really somewhere in the middle. I am no longer the girl on the left, but I don't feel like I am the girl on the right yet either. My mind is slow to catch up to the physical changes that are affecting me.
What is that? You are not done? Your not where you want to be yet? There is another me to come?
Oh My....Who are You?
Who am I....
Thursday, October 20, 2011
I get so MAD!
So very MAD at myself!
Why? You ask...well you asked for it!
I get MAD when I eat right!
... I exercise the way I am supposed to!
... and it ALL falls apart in a matter of seconds, maybe minutes.
I could just, just ....
...and there in lies the problem.
With all my healthy habits lately, my insulin is again going out of whack.
I had a Diabetic low last night, that found me filling my face with the wrong foods. I had already downed a couple greek yogurts, a banana, a rice pudding, 2 sugar tablets, before I became conciously aware that I was in trouble and what I was downing.
Of course then I skyrocketed with my blood sugar into out of orbit!
It blew my caloric intake out of the water; my sugars into orbit; my mood down the toilet; and my energy into the past.
It also made me appreciate the day more. The people whom I love. That includes you my spark friends.
If one day I don't wake up, I want you to know I love ya.
But! I am not ready for that, so in the meantime, I am around to cheer you on and appreciate all the little things.
Sunday, October 02, 2011
* Ok this is a look at something that happened to me in the past and was inspired after reading my spark friend SUNSCREENISGOOD's blog. I enjoyed reading her adventure so much that I thought I would share what had happened to me.
It was a very cold, (minus 35*C) dark winter Sunday morning. I was a new Mom, but my maternity leave had ended and I was back at work at a Bakery for a local supermarket chain. I had to be at work by 6 am for my shift, which meant that it being across the city, I had to leave by 5 am. After leaving my family sleeping snug and warm in thier beds, I set off in my frozen Chevrolet Sprint. (Not the grandest car but got me from A to B)
As I left our community, I remember thinking to myself that the gas station on the corner had installed new lights as it sure was a lot brighter there. ( I know wierd thoughts hey, but I was still sleepy!)
Then as I merged on one of my connector roads, my radio went wonky. Having watched a scary movie the night before, I couldn't help but think ... 'Aliens!' ( Yeah, I know corny but true! I was thinking outside the box.)
Continueing along I saw a helicopter drop low near me, close enough to see the guys in it. Then it rose up in the sky again. I didn't really think much of it, except that they must be looking for someone. No big deal. Now this all was happening in the 5 - 10 minutes since I had left my house.
Driving along for another 10 minutes, nothing eventful was happening on the deserted highway that ran through the center of our city. In fact I was the only vehicle to be seen in either direction. Being such a cold morning, I was having the usual problems with my car. It was having a real hard time keeping my windows defrosted, let alone keeping me warm. I was basically driving in a frozen ice box.
Enjoying my radio and the middle lane of the vacant highway, I glanced in my mirror to see the first pair of headlights since leaving home. They were quite a ways back, but seemed to be closing in rapidly. And close they did.
That so and so could of gone around either side of me, but pulled right up on my bumper. This made me nervous, so I pulled over to the left lane, hoping he would go on by.
Nope...He pulled up on my bumper too. Ok now I am freaking. Young lady alone on the highway in the dark, no one around. What kind of *ss could this be? I didn't have a cell phone with me and I definitely was getting nervous!
I had no idea how nervous I was going to be in the next few minutes..............
Well, he hit is lights at the same time that the helicopter pulled down beside me.
Yes, Cops and Copters!!!!
(* I just want to insert here that I am a law abiding citizen and have never even had a traffic ticket!)
Well are you wondering if I made a run for it??
No, I pulled over. And never having been pulled over before, I am sure I should of rolled down the window. But let me remind you I was driving in an ice box. If I had wanted to roll down my window, there is no way in heck that it would of moved. Plus my windows except my front windshield and 1/2 of my front drivers and passengers were even remotely clear to see into.
So I did the only thing I could logically think of.......... I opened my door.
OMG!!! Freak out!!!!
Me and them!!!
I had guns on me!!! A freaking rifle out the hellicoptor trained on me in the spotlight and the cop approaching me from behind had his gun out of his holster!!!
Well if dropping a load could of had me losing weight, I would be in the weight loss winners circle. Yeah didn't happen, but it sure made my bowels weak. Good thing that didn't happen I was wearing my baker's whites!
If anyone knows me my voice gets quite high when nervous, so there I am guns on me and I squeak out...
"Is there Anything wrong Officer??"
Once he assesed that I was not the threat they thought I was, he explained a bit of what had happened.
Apparently there were vandals doing thier thing in and around the area of my home. And being I was the ONLY vehicle seen leaving, they logically thought I was them.
The first time that I saw the helicopter they were trying to asses how many were in my vehicle. Which they could not, due to the baby seat, baby buggy and me in my huge winter coat ( I was freezing! Of course I am going to wear the biggest and warmest I have.). And of course the windows were frozen and they really couldn't see in.
So yeah, no aliens either. That was the helicopter interferring with my reception, and the bright lights at the gas station...yep you got it the helicopter.
So finally they let me go with no apology for scaring the *hit out of me.
Now if you have ever been through anything remotely hair-raising, you may have experienced the after effects...
By the time I actually reached work I was a shaking bundle of nerves. No I wasn't late.
But my fellow Bakers didn't know what to make of me slamming in and running off at the mouth from the get go! When usually we barely say hello in the morning. LOL!
Had to phone home and wake my hubby to tell him of all that had happened too.
Now I look back and get a chuckle of it. Yep, that was my brush with the law.
A case of mistaken Identity!
Stay safe my fellow Sparkers!
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