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When is it ok to do your own thing?

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Should we be sheep or should we be the shepard?
When should we be walking behind, beside or ahead?
Different situations call for different actions. Correct?
Well, generally I know when and where to walk; when and what to say; and how and who I say things to.
I have now entered a situation where I am trying. Believe me I am trying. I believe 100% that it is meant to be good for me, but I don't feel good. I am starting to feel negative more and more. This is unacceptable. I have always been one to look on the bright side and carry on no matter what. I am starting to become physically ill, where only a few weeks ago I felt on top of the world, minus a few blood sugar lows. Instead of feeling a sense of going forward, I am feeling an uncontrolled rush of going backwards.
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I don't mean to be melodramatic. My life is wonderful, in fact my hubby and I are celebrating our wedding anniversary as we speak.
I am referring to my Carb counting, my Diabetes.
I felt so much better and healthier counting calories and reducing my insulin. Eating way less carbs than I do now. I felt like I could do anything! I was on top of the world.
Now I am under a dietician whose only goal is to help me with my diabetes to control my b/s lows. But I am now at the opposite end of the scale with way too high sugars, I feel I have to eat and eat more carbs just to reach my 'minimum' carb requirement. I feel sluggish and foggy. All signs to me of to much carbs...
So when is it ok, to ignore a health care workers advice and go back to what you were doing and what worked for you?
I have been a carb addict most of my life. They are not a good mix for me in the numbers I am being advised to use. Instead of focusing on the good things I should be eating (veggies/fruits etc), I seem to be going for the wrong carbs because they will add up to what I 'need'. Why can't I go back to what and where I was and work from that. Wouldn't less insulin and less carbs ( more weight loss) be better than where I am now?
I don't think I would be listened to if I say this. But I am going to say this to her and ask for her help that way. This way is not me. What I feel I need to succeed.
If my dietician does not accept this. Then what?
When is it ok to do your own Thing?


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHUBRUB3 9/27/2010 11:14AM

    I want to thank each of you for your comments and thoughtful insight. I take each one very seriously and you have very valid points. I think my frustration was rearing its ugly head, and I will pause and re-evaluate my choices. I think I can make healthier carb choices, and perhaps my numbers may be too high at certain meal times. I sent my readings and log to my Health care advisor and am awaiting word back on what to do next.
I haven't been making terrible choices, but they can certainly be tweaked.
Yes, John you are very correct in that b/s lows are life threatening, and b/s highs are not immediately threatening. I was reacting to having 'good' ones and hoping for a better A1C and suddenly having 'not so good' readings.
Thanks again all my spark friends! I am so glad to have you and your support.
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    I agree with RESULTS361AP09 (Kim). I'd talk to your dietitian and get things figured out that way. I hope you feel better soon! emoticon

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BOVEY63 9/26/2010 10:02PM

    I would suggest talking to the dietician about your concerns, and if it things still don't feel right to you, talk to your doctor.

Good luck.

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RESULTS361AP09 9/26/2010 9:08PM

    I would definitely talk to the dietician and let her know how you are feeling and how you felt before! There has to be a happy medium. Of course, it may take some trial & error to find the right balance. My thoughts & prayers are with you as you work on this balance. Good luck!

ps. If the dietician doesn't listen to you, is there another one that you could see?

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JLCONROD 9/26/2010 7:45PM


My experiences -- especially recent ones as posted in my own Blog -- have shown me it is a matter of balance. When it come to Diabetes it is even more of a tightrope walk.

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A medical issue to consider (and be sure to consult your physician as well as the rest of your team such as your dietitian) is that the immediate effects of low blood sugars (hypoglycemia) can be acute and potentially life threatening. High blood sugars (hyperglycemia) are certainly to be avoided generally, the negative effects are long-term, chronic rather than acute.

A significant part of the tight rope walk is striking a balance. With blood sugar levels we may occasionally waver between hypo and hyper while striking a current balance. That balance is, of course, a moving target! Part of the "fun" of the journey is the continuing challenge of striving for that balance. It is an ongoing effort that takes practice, continuing learning, and different techniques for varied situations.

"Blips" are certainly a cause of concern, but are to be expected. My suggestion is to not to disregard the advice or your dietitian, but to first express your concern to your physician. The dietitian is one member of your medical support team, just not the sole member. I'm sure the advice is professional, but include the others in your support team before make important decisions in your personal therapeutic care.

Your physician may well have additional recommendations, and is likely the primary coordinator of your health care.

Hope this is helpful, but remember this significant point:


Warm personal regards, and with empathetic support,
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SUPERDUPER26 9/26/2010 7:29PM

    Definitely ONCE has a point, all carbs are NOT created equal! Focus on higher quality carbs, (apples instead of cookies, OJ instead of white bread, yogurt in place of donuts or whatever....) and see if that helps but as for the original question, if someone is asking you to do something that a. doesn't make sense and b. doesn't feel good- you don't have to do it. Its YOUR body, your blood sugar, your life. We pay people (doctors, nurses, nutritionists) for their OPINIONS on what to do, but its up to use to do what works best in each particular situation. That's not to say you shouldn't give everything an honest try, but if you know this isn't working for you, stop. Your nutritionist should be able to help you come up with a different plan if you can be clear on telling her (him?) what wasn't working and why, and if they have a 'my way or the highway' attitude about it, find a newnutritionist. No two people are alike, and even though there might be a million of us with diabetes, we all respond differently to different stimuli and there's no one size fits all answer.
Good luck!!!!

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CHUBRUB3 9/26/2010 4:36PM

    Thank you ONCEUPONMYLIPS! You are correct. I should of specified that when I think of carbs I think of breads/pastas things like that. I do know that most foods have carbs, I guess I am lost as to what carbs I should be choosing. However, I still feel that the carbs are set too high. I am actively looking for more to eat, when I am full, because I have not eatent the minimum that I am supposed to. I hope that makes sense.

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    If you're going for sugary or refined foods as your carb sources, of course your blood sugar is going to surge and spike. Not all carbs are created equal. Perhaps you and your dietitian can come to a happy medium?

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Thursday, September 09, 2010

emoticon To Carb or not to carb...hmm.
Having diabetes I should know the answer to this question, however surprisingly I do not. I am learning though.
emoticon Many, many moons ago I think I did track carbs, then that fell by the wayside and I probably tried some fad diet or 'easy' fix instead. Of course that failed or only worked for a little while. I probably did nothing after that. Then finally I had the most brilliant idea of "Why not track my calories! That should work for me!"
Oh yeah just brilliant. Why shouldn't it work, it works for every one else! But a person with Diabetes (PWD) is special (and I mean that in a variety of good ways of course!). A PWD has to be very careful of how the food they eat is converted in the body. If it is, or has, a carbohydrate it is turned into glucose in the blood. This in turn causes our blood sugars to rise. If we have too much, we run the risk of going to high, and insulin dependant PWD (type 1 generally) will then have to inject insulin to counter this reaction. Pretty basic huh? Well being the PWD that I am, I have the opposite problem. I can eat the calories no problem, however I do not eat enough carbohydrate foods! Go figure! So the end result is instead of having blood sugars that are high, I continuously have blood sugars that are too low.
This means that while I am stuffing my face with foods that I thought were good for me to lose weight etc., they are actually causing me to gain or not lose enough.
If I understand correctly, because I am not eating the amount of carbs I need to maintain a good blood sugar, I have a low; Need to treat it with food/juice/or sugar tablets; which in turn causes me to eat more than I should, causing me again to eat above my recommended calories. End result = frustration.
But if I can get a grip on figuring out what carbs to eat that are healthy, with not so high a number of calories, I will come out ahead of the game. The good thing is that I have been able to cut my insulin intake down considerably. That is a very good thing for a PWD. As the more insulin you take the harder you have of ever losing weight. And Insulin Resistance is another row to hoe in the endless garden of life. emoticon emoticon
I will stress that I have made great strides so far. I am here aren't I. That is commitment and perseverance at its best. emoticon
I go to the gym and even have started working out at home on the days that are a little too hectic. I am losing inches on my body and my clothes fit better. There is progress! emoticon
So if you are a PWD, or not. You should consider the question in depth. To carb or not to carb? YES! All the way!
I will figure it out and I am sure if you have ideas that you would like to share with me, I would be most pleased and honored to take that advice.
Hugs! Happy Carbing!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RESULTS361AP09 9/9/2010 9:34PM

    Angela-I know it might be a little intimidating at first, but I know you can do it! You definitely want to get rid of those lows you are having! Good luck!

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SUNSHINE1234 9/9/2010 4:23PM

    i was told not to eat over 45 gms of carbohydrates at each meal and it seems to work well.sometimes i forget to eat and the BS gets too low. that is a scary time for me. Congrats on losing weight and inches!!

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GEMINI-SKY 9/9/2010 5:57AM

    GREAT Blog Angela. I, also, count every carb not net carbs. I want to try the Diabetid Exchanges and am waiting for my books I ordered so I do it right. I have no problem with portion control. I just want to be eating the right combination of things at every meal...

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A letter to my Spark Friend in regards to my Diabetes

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Hi Spark Friend (You know who you are!),
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Thank you so much for your detailed response in regards to my Diabetic low of 1.8 mmol and how to treat hypoglycemia. I truly appreciate your time, knowledge and advice. Most of this I do know, i just find myself not thinking clearly and over compensating for my lows.
I am a type 1 Diabetic diagnosed for 20 years. They thought I had it as a child at the age of 3.
I seemed to have fallen through the cracks of life and with healthy living and being very active, I managed to live without insulin until I exited my teens.
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Looking back there were obvious signs, but not seen in the right light and therefore undetected.
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I should clarify that when I have my problem times with lows it is in the middle of the night (I do have lows in the day but seem more prepared to meet them without problem). I am already confused by just being asleep and not thinking clearly normally.
I manage to wake myself with internal alarms which I truly hope don't disappear over time.
I have juice to treat my blood sugar low, usually 3x more than I need and I am still in a 'eat or die' mode and continue to shovel until I can start to think more clearly. I then suffer with a too high sugar reading usually a little after or in the morning when I awake.
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I am having more lows now that I have started to lose weight and am eating better and exercising more. I am also having more lows as my A1C was bad at 8.7 and my GP raised my insulin to combat this, not taking into consideration that I had already changed things on my own.
I have been playing telephone tag with my Endocrinologist and haven't managed to connect as of yet. I will try again this week. I have dropped my insulin levels and am continuing to do so. I know how to juggle, but sometimes guidance is a very good thing. Just even to know I am on the right track.
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My husband usually sleeps through these and doesn't even register that I have had a problem until I tell him the next day. I really should just wake him to help me so I have assistance if I need it.
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I hope to regain my health the best I can with a new healthy lifestyle. I have been a 'badabetic' for a long time and continued to live my life the way I thought I wanted to live it. I only realize now with more maturity, that I was wrong to do so. I have been blessed that I have no serious complications besides Glaucoma and with proper treatment and care I can lead a long and healthy life.
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I truly appreciate having you as my new Spark Friend and look forward to your advice and hope I can help you in a way that you have certainly helped me.
Many hugs,
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MESAMA 5/11/2012 12:30PM

    Wow... as we have discussed before. You get it! I have those lows too where all I can do is, great word by the way, shovel food in. Your body does go into do or die mode and you can't think. The husband part too! He is unaware of what is happening to me until I tell him. Lately he has been getting better at asking if I think it could be my sugars when I suddenly feel strange. We have to keep those around us in the loop. I think that is an important part of it too. Thanks for posting this.
As always, I think you are emoticon!
Hugs and lots of love,

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ELLIE381 10/11/2010 1:43PM

    I have a sister with all of these same problems and many more. I truely feel for you. It must be very difficult. I hope things get and stay under control. emoticon

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GODSBABYGAL 9/5/2010 8:59PM

    Wow, AZBEADIE opened all of our eyes I bet. Jakeandnellie too. I think I want my "sugar" checked again. Just to be safe. emoticon to each one emoticon I thank all of you.

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JAKEANDNELLIE 8/15/2010 1:55PM

    Please - wake your husband when you're having difficulty! I have a close friend who almost died because she didn't want to "bother" her husband while he was sleeping! Luckily, the thump when she hit the floor woke him and he got emergency help!
Stay positive (and as healthy as you can!),

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CHUBRUB3 8/14/2010 6:46PM


RESULTS361AP09: Yes, I am on a sliding scale and it usually works quite well. You definitely know what I am talking about if your husband has the same things happening to him! I wish him and you well! So glad he is ok!
Diabetic lows are nothing to sluff off, I do know that, but we certainly get into our tunnel and don't think clearly. Stress and schedules do play a huge role.
I will try to wake my husband so that he can help me out.

I was touched by your comments as well. Thank you for taking the time to respond to my blog. You have definitely given me something to think on. Especially not wanting to burden our families with our health care concerns and therefore not having them there for us when we need them. I will talk to him, today, and I am sure he will be saying I should wake him. I don't know why I haven't done so already.
I am so glad you are healthy again. I can not begin to imagine all that you have gone through and thank goodness the Mailcarrier was alert enough to know something was wrong. I hope nothing like this ever ever happens again, but if we take one thing from this experience for both of us, it will be to have our family and loved ones close to help and support each other in every way.
Many Hugs to you. Thanks again for your comments and I have added you as a friend. I hope this is ok.


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RESULTS361AP09 8/14/2010 3:47PM

    Angela-are you on a sliding scale for your insulin? My husband is and just adjusts it as needed. I know what you mean about the lows. His will drop very suddenly and even though he always has a snack with him, his brain won't tell him to eat it. Last Saturday at 5:00 am I got a call from his boss that the paramedics were on their way as he had a low blood sugar reaction. Luckily he was fine once they gave him some glucose. He isn't even sure why he had the reaction as he had eaten a good breakfast (supper). But I suspect it was because his work schedule was really goofy last week & he didn't get much sleep.He worked days until Wednesday and then had to go back in Wednesday night and then worked nights the rest of the week. So I say, wake your husband up & have him help you when you need it. He needs to know what is going on and can help prevent it from becoming more serious. Take care of yourself! Good luck!

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AZBEADIE 8/14/2010 2:41AM

  Hi! This turned out to be a bit long but I was touched by what you wrote...

It's okay to ask for help, even in the middle of the night when someone is sleeping. I have some chronic health problems and always tried to keep them to myself, thinking it must be easier for my family to deal with them if I didn't share much.

On my journey to health I made some grave mistakes one day in February. I have insulin resistance, not diabetes, and take metformin. It wasn't a good day to start with, and my exercise routine was changed. I started an intense hike when I should have been eating. By the summit, I had low blood sugar. I returned home, and being down, I wasn't hungry. That night I woke up hallucinating and thought I was crazy. 3 hours the later the vomiting began. The dehydration led to further confusion.

Cut to- inability to walk, feed myself, slurred speech, falling down, etc. I spoke to family members via phone and they thought I was drinking but didn't ask; I had taught them that my health wasn't their business.

Cut again to- a total of 11 days later (7 of which I have no memory at all), I was hauled out of my house by my dad, inspired by the mail carrier, and immediately admitted to hospital. She was the only person to realize something was wrong with me- in part bc she joined my gym at my persuasion!

I was green and gaunt (down 25+ lbs of water) and close to death. Specialists did not know why I was in liver failure. End results: being healthy almost killed me. Because I was so healthy, I rehabbed my body back with no damage at all. Insurance picked up most of the $20k bill. My metformin was not the culprit so I am back on it. I have much better communication with my family regarding my health. I did a similar hike in triumph a couple of months later but on my way home I went to see my folks and tell them what I did and show them that I was okay, strong, healthy and determined.

I see how much distress I caused them by not sharing, for when it mattered, they were in the dark.

I say all of this bc I am lucky to not be diabetic or have any of my health issues be life or death. Talk to your husband and see if he would appreciate knowing, in the moment, how he might assist you. Your panic in those night lows encourages you to drink the juice and overcompensate, understandably. You might simply build in some gauges such as sticky notes and premeasured juice to help you better manage those times.

I sure feel for you. Talk to someone and become secure in your ability to seek help, so that when you are confused you don't have another decision to make- instead, you know what you can do. I think it would make your life a lot easier. Would your husband prefer to get you some juice and talk you through it, or perhaps deal with... wherever an emergency might land you? You might ask him. My own family's reaction to me being close to death really woke me up about how obtuse I was.

Best wishes on your journey to health! I know about those adjustments we have to make as we become healthier- let me have learned the hard way, as I made it out okay this time. I want you to be okay, and feel safe and secure.



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DO I REALLY WANT THIS????? Think of me. ( A conversation with myself)

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Where to start? I am writing down my reasons and ramblings to hopefully encourage and possibly discourage myself when needed.
WHY???...why am I where I am? If I am reading this, it can only mean that I am
contemplating eating.
Think of Brandon.
Your son loves you = you love your son.
I want to be a part of my sons life forever, in no way do I want to miss one insey bitsey part.
You = I, may not be if you continue to eat.
Think of George.
George loves you = you love George.
I really want to be able to grow old together,
have grandkids together.
You = I won't if you cheat.
think of all of your family and friends.
They love you and you them.
Think of you = me.
I want to be able to enjoy LIFE!
Watch the many sunrises yet to come.
I want to actually feel good and look good.
I want to be able to look myself in the mirror and say
I don't want to feel sorry for myself anymore.
I don't want others to pity me.
I don't want to hate myself.
I want to love myself.
I want to live and love.
I don't want to live crippled or without vital organs.
Think of me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMMABOF7 8/1/2010 2:42PM

    When I feel the food calling I try to stop and say WHAT AM I FEELING? ...bored, lonely, sad... not that it always stops me LOL but I try to FEEL the feelings instead of stuff them down with food.

It is great that you are writing blogs to yourself! You can do this! YOU ARE WORTH THE effort to make the lifestyle changes!

Have a successful day!

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RESULTS361AP09 8/1/2010 2:05PM

    I think you just summed how how many of us feel. Think of yourself & how worthy you are of all your hard work & efforts! Keep up the good work.


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Pieces of your Soul

Friday, July 30, 2010

Whoo hoo! My first blog. I have to admit I am a little nervous, but why? We are all friends here, if nothing else I am having one of those frequent chats with myself that drives my family nuts! But hey I have to talk to someone who actually listens (most of the time)LOL!
I have been on Spark People for @ 2 weeks now and I love it. I have to admit that I really was not sure what to expect, as I was only looking for a way to track my food and find an easier way to calorie count. When it flashed up on Google, I thought why not give it a try, what have you got to lose? Imagine my surprise with all that I have gained! Tools galore! Friends that support and encourage you! People who CARE! It isn't like I don't have friends out in the 'real' world, but it is like finding pieces of your soul, with people who have the same or similar issues. I send a huge THANK YOU to my spark friends. Those I have already and those who are yet to be.
One downside is I am on the computer a huge amount. As I have to see who is doing what; what success's have been achieved; what goodies have arrived and who to send to; And of course updating all your nutrition and fitness. But I am finding I am getting up earlier in the day to accomplish what needs to be done and more, so that I can spend the time I need to and desire to on the computer.
Thanks for listening! And again thanks for sharing the goodness of your hearts, pieces of your soul!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNSHINE1234 9/9/2010 4:30PM

    i'm glad that you found SP. i check first thing each morning as soon as DH leaves for work, lol

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MOMMABOF7 7/31/2010 9:40PM

    Your are doing great! after 7 months I still run to the computer in the morning to see what my friends around the world are up to!

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RESULTS361AP09 7/30/2010 9:55PM

    Angela-you are a special lady & I am so happy that you are my Spark friend. Keep up the good work! But try & relax a little over the weekend, OK? Kim

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JOY1972 7/30/2010 6:30PM

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HUSBANDANDDAD 7/30/2010 2:48PM

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"Do...or do not. There is no Try." - Yoda

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