Wednesday, July 13, 2011
I wouldn't be surprised if every person out there knew at least ONE person who is living with diabetes. It feels like people are ashamed to admit that they suffer it, it's only one aspect that puzzles me.
My husband suffers from Type 2 Diabetes. A little over a year ago we discovered in a very unpleasant way (hospitalization) that his blood sugars were dangerously high and completely out of control. He was given two very real choices. 1. Get it under control NOW and live or 2. Keep neglecting your health and prepare for amputations and a very unpleasant death.
The reality of his situation scared him straight. He started losing weight, became religious about checking his sugars & taking his meds and insulin, eating well.. in short, he quickly became the poster boy for "How to be a GOOD Diabetic". Then he wavered.. decided he was doing so well that he deserved a reward. The rewards became plentiful & frequent and eventually all consuming. Now, he takes insulin based on what he wants to eat. Um HELLO? Anyone out there with this disease knows that is just wrong.. Anyway, I'm not going to rant about all of the things that concern me about his decaying habits in terms of controlling his disease. I have more than can be expressed here or that anyone would care to hear.
Last night, my uncle died of complications due to decades of uncontrolled diabetes. He went through the very process my husband's Doctor's warned him about. One leg was amputated, then the other. One by one his organs shut down, his body could not cope with the disease and many complications that it brings with it when neglected.
I have now lost two uncles to Diabetes.
A very dear friend of mine and my family is currently having her fingers amputated, one at a time. She too, ignored decades of Doctor's advice and warnings. Last year she was fitted with a splint to her kidneys tho she wasn't ill yet, the signs were all there. Her body was shutting down. Her condition is so fragile right now after months of being hospitalized, that her amputations are done while she is awake. That's right - she is AWAKE and under a local anesthetic while they cut her fingers off, one a day, trying to beat the disease that now threatens to take her one body part at a time. She may not feel the pain of the actual procedure, but make no mistake. She is in deep, heart wrenching, excruciating pain over all.
Sure does make the pain of poking one's fingers for blood sugar tests seem insignificant by comparison, doesn't it? Insulin can be painful to take as well, I know. My husband has a fear of needles yet has to inject himself 4X every day, it never gets easier for him. The alternative is.. unacceptable.
After hearing the news of my uncle this morning & about an hour of silent grief I marched into my husband's office where he was working on his computer and told him that from today on, he was no longer going to slack off and be dismissive of his disease because it was often inconvenient to do what he needed to. I lost it.. I mean, I just lost it. All around me are the absolute worst case scenarios of what this horrible disease can do to a person who will not treat it properly.. it's heart breaking.. it's downright terrifying..
I cannot watch my husband go down this same path..
My brother was recently diagnosed with diabetes, as has our cousin. This disease has such a firm hold on my family.. It doesn't have to win every time.
To anyone out there reading this who has diabetes or knows someone who is suffering from this destructive disease .. please, please, please.. open your eyes if they are not already open. Don't let this happen to you or your loved ones. Get educated. See your doctors. BECOME healthy.. live a long life for yourself and your loved ones..
Control the disease, do not let it control you.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
The weeks of 2011 so far have gone sooo fast that I've barely noticed them! I can't believe Valentine's day is right around the corner, already. I've been slacking in my Spark goals this month. A pesky cold & flu that I just can't seem to shake has been slowing me down & I haven't lost a single pound in the last 10 days.. I console myself with the knowledge that I not only lost the 3lbs I gained over the holidays in January, but an additional 5lbs on top of that. Still, I really need to get moving... only four months before I hope to be visiting Cananda and I want to be that THIN me when I get there!
Thanks to my obsession with making chainmaille & attending to my new little Etsy.shop ( www.etsy.com/shop/GOTMaillebyChristy .. SHAMELESS PLUG !! lol.. ) I at least haven't been over eating while I've been trying to rest up & conquer these winter ughs. It really has helped keep my mind & hands busy and AWAY from snacks. Addictive diet strategy..lol
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
I've recently decided to pick up an old hobby of mine to help keep my mind off of snacking, stress and all those other little things that get a girl off track on this wonderful Sparkly journey to good health.
That hobby is making jewellery. I've been beading for years now, but have always wanted to learn the art of Chainmaille. About five years ago I tried it and failed in a very big way. In part due to lack of patience, time & definitely the poor choice of materials at the time.
Now I have time, better materials and what about patience? Well.......... I'm working on that! I think I'm off to a good start though. Four days in so far & I've managed to squeeze out a couple of ok pieces. I know that years from now if I'm still working with maille I will look back and giggle at the amateurishness of my early work, but then again maybe not. Maybe I will look back and say "if only I started sooner.." The same way I do when I look at the scale every Monday morning!
My "goal" maille weave has been the Byzantine. It's been giving sooo much grief these last few days and I was about to just give up on every being able to learn that beautiful link. Then last night I had a dream that showed me what I was doing wrong & how to resolve it. The first thing I did this morning (after coffee & getting DH up & moving that is..) was try it out, and lo 'n behold, it worked.
I made my first byzantine link.
You can't imagine how happy that tiny little thing made me. Especially considering that I am soooo *not* a morning person..! Of course, one link led to two links, two led to three and so on & so on.. I wound up with a new band for a watch face I had laying around.
Not bad for a first attempt, even if I do say so myself!
Over the weekend, to ease my frustrations of not being able to "get it" with the Byzantine weave I made what I call the "Knock Off" necklace. Inspired by a good friend of mine back home who has recently started making & selling her stunning creations.
DH thinks I should start my own online shop, he's been trying to encourage me to do that for years.. maybe one day I will. It may sound strange, but that dream last night.. well.. do you believe in fate? I believe in the power of dreams & last night was just one more personal piece of evidence to me that there are other forces at work in our lives. Anyway, before I get too hokey let me just say this..
It's good to dream.
Monday, November 08, 2010
When I was a child, all Canadian children were taught the peom by WWI, Canadian Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, "In Flanders Fields". We wore our red poppies proudly & as one, recited the peom aloud on November 11th just prior to the one minute of silence.
Historical context (As copied from Wikipedia)
The poppies referred to in the poem grew in profusion in Flanders in the disturbed earth of the battlefields and cemeteries where war casualties were buried and thus became a symbol of Remembrance Day. The poem is often part of Remembrance Day solemnities in Allied countries which contributed troops to World War I, particularly in countries of the British Empire that did so.
I'm sorry that I did not think to pack a poppy to wear with me here, in my new life in the USA.. but I remember & am thankful for the soldiers who have fought for & secured our many freedoms, and still do today.
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Honestly, I'm not sure how to express what I need to express, here.
Four months in and going strong, mid-August, it started. That quiet, destructive voice tired of being neglected & overshadowed by motivation .. *Spark*.. started to push again. By early September I had listened to it and stopped my daily 6K morning walk. Soon after, my afternoon trip on the elliptical became too much bother.. and I stopped. Plateau? No.. defeated? Absolutely. I gave up trying to resist all of those foods that DH/M insisted I enjoy with him. It seemed that I was constantly being placed in an un-winable situation & yep.. I gave up.. I gave in.. whatever you want to call it.. I started eating.. a lot. Pizza's, hamburgers, ice cream.. you name it.. suddenly my gung-ho "gonna-ROCK-this-plan!!" attitude vanished and all that remained was that happy little destructive voice whispering "I win.. fat girl."
What happens to us? I can think of no singular moment that caused me to give up on all the work that I had done. 32lbs were gone, I enjoyed every moment of losing them.. well, almost. The energy & motivation I felt were like natural highs and couldn't WAIT to get my daily fix! I was nearly half way to my goal - success... then *poof*.. gone. Old attitudes return even more harmful than before. At some level, am I afraid of reaching my goal? Is that possible? I chose to give in. CHOSE to allow myself to feel defeated & not worth the continued effort - with no reason at all to spur that change on. My Spark friends are amazing.. incredible, strong & motivational women that I am incredibly grateful for. I feel as tho I've let each and every one of you down these last few weeks. For that, I am incredibly sorry.. I will try to make it up to you.
So I'm starting over.. I've gained what I call three "punishment pounds" for my horrible behavior over these last 3-4 weeks. My ticker has been reset with a start weight of 195lbs, where previously it read 224. I will try to log in every single day again and let the warmth of SP wrap around me once more. New start, new numbers.. hopefully new motivation will also find me, soon. I'm trying to make myself get outside and walk again, but this unreasonable and completely foolish idea that I'm being judged the moment I walk out the door is back and keeping me inside for my fitness minutes.. I shouldn't care, right? The Do-Over Christy hasn't lost 32lbs. She's simply overweight with a BMI that actually calls her obese. Until I get over that little mind block again, I at least have my elliptical.. and I AM on it again.
The bright side is that in my funk I have gained 3lbs, not 10.. not 30. (Even tho it feels like 30) It could be worse. I could have just kept going and gained it all back again & then some....
So here I go. The elliptical and my new playlist is waiting for me.. A little AC/DC, Stones & Erythmics.. (sp?) I've gone retro.. back to the music I grew up with. Change.. it's amazing what small things can make a difference.
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