CHRISBEM   19,849
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CHRISBEM's Recent Blog Entries

Ready to be back on track

Friday, July 06, 2012

I've been bad the last week or so. I got derailed with my sister and niece being in town for a visit. Now it's time to be back on track. I also need to come up with a strategy to do better when I see them.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEEGIRL50 7/7/2012 1:51PM

    I hear you! My sister stayed with me for two weeks. I gained 4 pounds.
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Another week of loss!

Sunday, July 01, 2012

I'm so excited! I've been doing this diet for a little over 2 months now. I don't think I've lost a lot of weight, but it feels really good that I've gone down consistently and that I'm not plateauing or going up yet.

  
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BROWNCOFIDDLER 7/1/2012 2:18PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GRAMADIANE 7/1/2012 10:38AM

  Great job - keep up the good work.

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New Realization

Thursday, June 28, 2012

I came to a new realization today. I've always thought that I've been unemotional about my weight. But, reading another member's blog, I realized I am emotional about my weight. I'm angry about it - because of how others treat it. It makes me angry when people think that it's only will power that is preventing me from being an ideal weight. It's not just that. Granted, there are times when it is, but there are so many other factors that go into it...medical issues making gain easy and loss hard, a desk job where I can't move around much, a horribly long commute...It's like the people who don't look at the big picture don't have medical issues that affect weight and don't get that such conditions exist, have jobs that allow them to move around and to be able to afford gym memberships and have long enough lunches to go, and live a short distance from work and don't get that leaving the house at 6:30 AM and getting home at 8:30 PM leaves very little time in the day for exercise.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WONDERFUL2BME 6/30/2012 1:53PM

    Yes, we need to give ourselves the right to have these emotions! You have long, long days and I don't know how we let our culture/society become this. There are 3rd world countries where the people have nothing, but they do have smiles on their faces. Hmmmm???
My weight has soared in the last 6 months and I feel the judgement. I might be overreacting, but what it comes down to, I need to focus on what I can change and not judge myself. I have always judged myself, felt shame, stuffed the emotions, and return full circle to the judgement. Time to let it go, thank my body for what it can do still, believe in myself, try not to become the anti-terroist terroist. I don't want to become what I hate by judging them back. I need to let it go and move on. Thank you for your blog.

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LOOKINGUP2012 6/29/2012 8:17AM

    Your hours look almost impossible to me. Please don't let them make you angry. It is so destructive to your body. Take Spark Guy's little steps and congratulate yourself on consistency to them. I know you probably already are, so I send you emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JO88BAKO 6/28/2012 5:34PM

    Your journey, your choices, and your weight loss are your business. Don't let other people make you feel bad about yourself or you choices. You can do it!

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depression

Sunday, June 17, 2012

I'm facing a really tough day with trying to lose weight. I'm realizing that my depression is taking a huge bite out of me trying to lose weight. But, I'm stuck on how to deal with it.

Depression has definitely been, I want to say, an almost life long battle for me. I want to say it started getting really bad in late in middle school, had a bad spell through 2nd year of college. Cleared up for a bit, but I'm getting into another bad spell.

I'm finding that I am just really frustrated with my life and that there seems to be absolutely no one I can relate to right now. I am first frustrated over a job that is going no where. I'm been there for almost 4 years. I had been promoted once, got demoted about a year and a half ago. I've had two managers tell me that they would recommend me for a promotion since then if I want to go for it, but keep complaining every day about stuff they think I do wrong (likecomplaining if I don't use a client's name twice in a phone call, but then think I should be completely accepting when they use the wrong name for me and I ask that they use the correct one. Says so much when I'm not just an employee but also one of their clients).

I'm also frustrated that my family thinks that what my two sisters want is what I happen to want as well and then don't get when I say it doesn't work for me. I've felt like the misfit out of me and my sisters for years. Both of my sisters have, for years now, liked a much more metropolitan life style than me. Both of them, before moving out of our parents' home, expressed an interest in living in a big city because they enjoy a much more partying, urban lifestyle (like they enjoy bar hopping). I have expressed for years that big cities are for strictly visiting - I have a very open dislike and intolerance of urban noise and being in close quarters. And yet my family gets pissed at me when I state I am desperate to move out of my townhome. Granted, my grandfather helped me out in getting started, but I don't get how I canmake more clear to them my feelings than when I tell them, " I am incredibly thankful for the opportunity to get started, but I am afraid that the people in the unit attached to mine are going to burn mine down after they openly admit to falling asleep in bed with lit cigarettes and I can't stand how my place smells, even though I do everything imaginable under the sun to deordorize it because there is only a single piece of holy plaster board between my unit that my family forced me to buy and the one next door that has 2 smokers (I'm an adament non-smoker, by the way), 5 incessently barking dogs, 2 cats and a snake. I get home at night from work, and cannot even get onto my own property before I am forced to walk by the front door of the unit next to mine and have the owner walk out and beg me for money (the same one who owns 5 dogs, 2 cats and a python. Oh, and did I mention the man and his wife smoke, have satellite tv and internet and each have a cell phone AND have a hot tub? And then I get told by the town home association, that, even though the neighbors can smoke and have 8 animals, I cannot use a charcoal grill on my patio (which is my legal property, not theirs)? And my family tells me that I'm a selfish bitch for wanting a house (I want one so that I can at least have a yard between me and loud, smelly neighbors who are trying to burn down my home).

I'm finding all of this incredibly taxing and am finding that I drinking more because of it. I'm scared it's going to be the ruin of me trying to lose weight... I wish I knew how to deal with these issues and be able to relate to others so that they don't cause me to be nore emotional and overeat/drink

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WONDERFUL2BME 6/30/2012 1:58PM

    It is hard to feel powerless. Take what power you can. I willingly gave up my power for too many years. I am no longer to give up my power to anyone!

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KATHYGOULDSMITH 6/18/2012 4:12AM

    I feel for you. I struggle with all of it too. Weight issues, depression, etc. We need to just take one day at a time. ( I need to listen to my own advice) I hope you know that there are people here at SP who are helpful and will be here for you.

KG

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JO88BAKO 6/17/2012 11:54PM

    Take a step back and take a deep breath. Focus on what you need to do for yourself to feel better. You can do it!

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JIMENESU 6/17/2012 11:45PM

  BE STRONGE, SOMETIMES CAN BE OVERWHELMED IF WE DO NOT KNOW HOW TO GET OUT OF THIS CIRCLE. LOOK FOR HELP AND DON'T GIVE UP SO EASILY..
TAKE CONTROL NOW! BEST WISHES.. SUE :)


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LADYJAKE1 6/17/2012 11:34PM

    Talking is good, you know what the problem is.....I was in dead end job and at 40 put myself through school and am now in veterinary medicine and very happy.

Make a change and move on it will do you good.

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changes

Saturday, June 16, 2012

I am excited that I have started seeing some changes. Now that I am focusing a lot more on my nutrition, I am feeling a lot more energetic. I'm sleeping better. Since I started trying to strength train more 2 weeks ago, I've started noticing that the exercises are already getting more doable. Yay me! I just need to start managing eating out more... that seems to be my big pitfall.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IRISH813 6/16/2012 4:19PM

    emoticon Keep up the good work!!!!! emoticon

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BIKECHIC1 6/16/2012 3:15PM

    That's fantastic, keep up the good work :) xxx

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