CHRIS3874   142,212
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Proof pickles will kill you !!

Sunday, September 09, 2012

(satire from the web)



Look at the Pickle that the pickle people have put you in!

Pickles will kill you. Every pickle you eat brings you nearer to death. Amazingly, the thinking man has failed to grasp the significance of the term "in a pickle". Although leading horticulturists have long said that Cucamis Sativus possesses Indehiscent Pepto, the pickle industry continues to expand.

Pickles are associated with all the major diseases of the body. Eating them breeds wars and Communism. They can be related to most airline tragedies. Auto accidents are caused by pickles. There exists a positive relationship between crime waves and consumption of this fruit of the curcubit family. For example:

Nearly all sick people have eaten pickles; therefore, the effects are obviously cumulative.
Of all the people who die from cancer, 99% have eaten pickles.
100% of all soldiers have eaten pickles; therefore, pickles must be related to wars.
98.8% of all Communist sympathizers have eaten pickles.
99.7% of all the people involved in the air and auto accidents ate pickles within 14 days preceding the tragedy.
93.1% of all juvenile delinquents come from homes where pickles are served frequently.

Evidence points to some startling long term effects of pickle eating:

Of all the people born in 1865 who later dined on pickles, there has been a 100% mortality rate.

All pickle eaters born between 1890 and 1900 have wrinkled skin, brittle bones, have lost most of their teeth and are afflicted by failing eyesight... if the ills that come from eating pickles have not already resulted in their death.

Even more convincing is the report from a noted team of medical specialists. They found that rats which were force-fed with 20 pounds of pickles per day developed bulging abdomens. It was further noted that the rat's appetites for wholesome food was completely destroyed.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ATTACKFATCAT 9/10/2012 1:30PM

    Pickles are one of my favorite foods, so I guess I'm doomed, lol emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 9/9/2012 7:14PM

    LOL. I must admit that...............I am a pickle eater. Love em. I guess they were trying to kill me at BK the other day as I ordered a fish sandwich and it had pickles on it.

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PJBONARRIGO 9/9/2012 4:39PM

    WooHoo! Thanks for the heads up on the dangers of eating pickles. it certainly makes you wonder LOL emoticon

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today

Saturday, September 08, 2012

well today I was busy doing yard work and other things like trying to fix the old fence in our backyard- what a piece of (I won't even say the FRENCH word for it here and I DO know it ) every time I cut a board it splits - I wanted to used my DeWalt but the battery packs are going so I resorted to my reciprocating saw. Frustrating but at least I am getting it out of the way, I wanted to get it cut up as I am redoing part of the fence by the garden (it used to be at an angle but now I am changing it as I tore down the fence. Still have to vaccuum and exercise. Have a great Saturday !!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 9/8/2012 9:59PM

    Sounds like quite a project, especially with having to resort to substitute equipment.

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Friday

Friday, September 07, 2012

OK OK I ate part of a bag of chips yesterday. However today this one person I did not like (a retiree and NO a lot of other people DID not like him so I KNOW its NOT me) brought in KFC of course all the mechanics were eating this as well as their lunch and the greedy pigs also ate some doughnuts (NOT of which I touched) so WHY is it I am the overweight one -ITS NOT FAIR. (Sorry I cannot help but feel that way its like I exercise my @$$ off FOR NOTHING). I hope they all INFARCT !!!
(yeah I know exactly what i just said- even thought people like to treat me like I am stupid especially at work I know I am NOT).

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 9/7/2012 10:28PM

    I ate part of a bag of chips yesterday too. I thought you had done something really evil.

To be honest, I would have passed on the doughnuts and caved on the KFC. You did great!

As a former coronary nurse, I can tell you that many of them probably will infarct if they are consuming KFC and doughnuts regularly. LOL.

One of these days we will be skinny and people will hate us. The sooner, the better. LOL.

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SPOONGIRLDEB 9/7/2012 10:23PM

    I know what you mean - it totally sucks when all the "skinny" people are stuffing their faces like that and you are being good but aren't "skinny" :-). But you said that you only ate "part of a bag of chips" so that is great! It could've been the whole bag!
emoticon

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I really did not want to....

Thursday, September 06, 2012

I wasn't planning to do a blog today but I thought I needed the points. I kind of slipped today and I feel somewhat ashamed. Now I feel like I have to work like a mad Bastich (sorry I couldn't help it) I know thats not a healthy attitude but its that "good" old catholic GUILT. WHERE'S THE CONFESSIONAL?????

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 9/6/2012 10:09PM

    Slipped? What kind of confession is that? Where are the details? So you ate/drank what? A dozen Krispy Kremes? A Budweiser keg? A gallon of Haagen Dazs? 2 slabs of ribs? An entire package of Double Stuffed Oreos? The confessional is right here, bud. LOL. We're waiting. emoticon

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SILLYLILME 9/6/2012 9:13PM

  You slipped but you did not fall. Keep moving, you can do this!

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Happy Hump Day

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Well happy Wednesday!! At least its one LESS day until Friday. I feel a bit better today at least I am making some real headway with getting spark points. Not that its should matter I think I have done this all my life focusing on the end and NOT enjoying the journey.
PS RIP Michael Clarke Duncan.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAYLLYNNE 9/6/2012 12:27AM

    Our whole life is a journey. It's why we have to stop and smell the roses sometimes!!! I know, isn't it sad about Michael Clarke Duncan :( RIP

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MORTICIAADDAMS 9/5/2012 9:10PM

    LOL. I guess I'm kind of a Debbie Downer but some journeys are easy to enjoy, like a trip to Tahiti. Some journeys, like the journey to lose weight...........not so much. LOL.

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VARSWIFE 9/5/2012 8:59PM

    emoticon

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