CHRIMSONFYRE   106,422
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Just 3 more sessions mom....we can do this!

Thursday, December 04, 2014

Today will be one of the 3 last chemo sessions for my mom. She is so worn out and so tired, she doesn't even want to get out of bed. I do not blame her, They have been pumping her body full of poison since August 8. If I could take away her symptoms and her pain I would do it 10 times over. She has been so amazing and so strong. The chemo really has taken a toll the last few weeks though. She says her body hurts everywhere and the pain meds they gave her make her sick, so she doesn't want to take them. I think she might have an allergy to NSAIDs just like my husband does. Her reaction for one Tramadol seemed excessive.

I call her almost every day, giving my pep talk, told her we are almost there, we can't give up now, you are so strong and you've made it this far. Just 3 more times, then surgery and hopefully we are done with this BS. I love her so much, she cannot give up on us now. As soon as we know a surgery date, I want to be there for her. I need to be there for her. If it means my job so be it.

As long as her white blood cell count stays good, and her blood work looks good, we are looking at December 18 being her last chemo treatment, just in time for Christmas. I do not know how long she will get to recover before the double mastectomy and lymph removal. I hope they give her a couple weeks to get through it though, let her body get a little stronger before she has to try to heal such a major surgery.

Stress has been getting to me, I guess my doctor recognized it before I did. She gave me some Valium to take a night. I have been sleeping better and it has me moving more and being more productive at work during the day, so that is good. I have a follow up appointment on Monday.

I hope everyone had a blessed Thanksgiving and are having fun preparing for the holidays.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LAURA7051 12/4/2014 10:20AM

    Praying for strength for your mom to get through the upcoming weeks. Glad you are sleeping better and have more energy to cope with this and encourage your mom.

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Cancer Updates and goals

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Mom is still fighting, she is the most amazing woman I know. I swear she is super woman. She is 68 years old and fighting cancer like someone in their 20s would. She refuses to give up and I love her more and more every day for how strong and determined she is. She is officially half way done with this different round of chemo. She has 6 sessions left, every Thursday (week of Thanksgiving it will be moved to Wednesday). Tomorrow will put her down to 5 treatments. If things keep progressing so well, she will be done with chemo on Dec 18, 2014 and will get a few weeks off before her surgery to remove those bad breasts and give her some pretty new ones. My sister, niece and her hubby will be there the week of Thanksgiving with her so she will not be alone, I know she is excited to see her grand baby. If she is feeling well and ok to travel, she wants me to fly her here for Christmas. Even if she is not, I have the week of Christmas off and I will go to see her. She will not be alone for the holidays!

Goals are tough lately. I find myself obsessing mentally over food. When i try to go the healthy route, it seems then I go into I think about food and what I can't have all the time. It becomes overwhelming and obsessive even. I want that, no you can't have that...blah blah blah. I wish I could shut my mind off for food, it would make this getting back on the healthy track a lot easier.

Today I have my drink enough water goal and try to reach 10k steps with my fitbit. Wish me luck. It's also my hubby's birthday so I want to try and make him a yummy special dinner.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSPEACHYJONES 11/20/2014 3:26PM

    Loads of love to you and your family especially your amazing mum on her road to getting cancer free.
It sounds like a tough time to balance everything, I'd imagine it must make it far more difficult to make healthy choices, but you're doing it! You're incredible and don't beat yourself up for having food cravings, maybe try add in more lean protein so you'll feel fuller and won't have food playing on your mind.
Keep looking at those day to day goals like your water and 10k steps they're the victories that are easiest to forget! I tell myself that each day I go without a cigarette and it really has gotten better everyday.
Have a brilliant weekend!
xxx

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QTLADY 11/12/2014 10:12AM

    Go mom! She's got this! And so do you :) I'm glad you will be able to see her for Christmas. I understand about the food thing- it's like a constant self talk that you know you shouldn't shut off because then you'll most likely go to your easy bad choices, but then you wish you could shut if off because you are tired of fighting yourself. You can do it!

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LESLEE33 11/12/2014 9:17AM

    I wish your mom all the best, sounds like she's got a lot of great supporters behind her. Its nice that she won't be spending the holidays alone.

In regards to the tough time with food, I think it may be stress related. Don't be too hard on yourself, as your family is going through a lot. emoticon

Good luck on your water/10k steps emoticon

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1HAPPYSPIRIT 11/12/2014 7:13AM

    Sending hugs, prayers and positive thoughts your way!

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Life is overwhelming me right now

Tuesday, November 04, 2014

I just don't even know what to do lately. I feel so stressed and overwhelmed I can't even get a hold on life. I constantly worry about my mom, how chemo is going, is she getting better, when will this all be over. I am worried about my husband who recently had spine surgery, but still has pain and is frustrated and having a hard time dealing with things lately. I'm trying to be the rock for everyone right now, and I'm to the point I'm about to just explode.

I try to not show my upset moments or pain or freak outs to anyone else, they don't need extra stress, but man I feel it leaking out in small doses and people are starting to notice I am not myself. I really need to find some strength right now. I need some guidance and support.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LALALOVELY76 11/6/2014 1:02PM

    Praying for you and your family! You will get through this tough time!!! emoticon

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AMCAN262 11/4/2014 5:53PM

    Cast all the burden on the one who can carry them for you, Jesus is never too busy or far from our cries. Call out to Him and rest in the peace that passes all understanding. Let go and let God give you that strength, you have been there for everyone else, let him be there for you. Oh yeah and remember to breathe, walk and smile, because this too shall pass as we continue in this journey called life. I will be praying for you. emoticon emoticon

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FORZACHANDMATT 11/4/2014 3:54PM

    I am kind of going some similar stuff right now and it's so tough and overwhelming. I'm trying to incorporate some little bits of exercise and trying to maintain healthy habits but it's difficult - my thoughts are with you and your family

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PROPMAN1 11/4/2014 3:53PM

  Sorry things are going so roughly for you right now. It's important that you care for you as well as you do for everyone else. If the stress completely takes over and you become ill...what then? Probably would be helpful if you took some time to take a walk, or do something else you enjoy.

I wish you, your mom and husband all the best! emoticon

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ALOOGOBI 11/4/2014 3:43PM

    I am so sorry that things are so difficult and overwhelming for you. The only thing I can tell you is that worry and fear will do nothing to change the outcome of any situation, all it does is wear you down. It sounds like you need to be strong for everyone else now, which means you need to take special care of yourself. Eat good nourishing food. Make a conscious effort to let go of the fears and the worries so you can get a good night's sleep. Take the time to do things you love to do. Caring for yourself so you can be present for others when they need you is important at all times, but most especially when everything feels like it is going to pieces.

All of us will go through these kinds of difficult times in our life, and sometimes thinking about that makes it easier for me. Good health is something that we take for granted, but illness and injury are certainly things that we all must face at one point or another. I wish you all the best, and I am sending good thoughts and healing energy to your mom and your husband. Take care!

Comment edited on: 11/4/2014 3:46:47 PM

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Updates and Goals

Thursday, October 30, 2014

So mom is still holding strong and being the most amazing, strong woman I know. Seven chemo treatments have been completed, number 8 is today and she has 6 more to go! She will be done with chemo on December 17th, right before Christmas. She will get a couple weeks off and then they ill do her mastectomy. She is stage 3b, triple negative Inflammatory breast cancer, for those who haven't read my previous blogs. The woman is so strong, I can't even describe how proud I am of her. I cannot be with her in another state any longer to help her go through treatments because of work, but I continue to be her cheerleader over the phone. I call her every day and try to send her inspiration every day in some way. I have good feelings that she will be a survivor waiting at the finish line when my sister, husband and I walk 60 miles in the Breast Cancer 3-day November 2015 in her honor.

I have set up some goals to start November 1st (this Saturday). I've been off track for a bit, with everything going on and I've gained a few pounds back...definitely not what I want to do. If I'm going to consider my spine surgery in the new year, I'd like to get a bit more weight off to help the healing process. Here are some of my starting goals:

1. Drink my water...water water water. I've gotten better, but I think I am still lacking here.
2. Try to hit my 10k step goal on my fitbit every day for a healthy heart.
3. Start measuring and pre-planning my portions and meals again.
4. Get in at least 3 workout videos or gym sessions per week.
5. Work yoga and my relax therapy back into my routines.

I will add more goals through the next coming weeks and keep progress. November 1st, I will start blogging my goals and progress to be accountable. Hopefully if I have any readers they will motivate me and cheer me on.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JADOMB 10/30/2014 10:26AM

    My prayers are with you mother. You goals are doable and something I know you can do. Keep focused and keep the faith.

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Cancer & Spine Surgery

Tuesday, October 07, 2014

So update on my mom. Five rounds of chemo down, 11 to go! She did her first chemo session without me last week. I feel terrible that I can no longer be there to go through this with her, but work said I had to be back and right now I have to keep my job. She is so strong and I've been calling her every other day sending her encouragement and I love you's. I know it's not the same as being there holding her hand during treatment, but it's the best I can do from 1100 miles away right now. I am blessed that work let me spend 2 months with her as it is. We just have to take it one week at a time, one treatment at a time for right now.

Also since I've been back just over a week, my husband has had spine surgery. He went under the knife on Thursday having a L5-S1 Discectomy. He has 10 staples at the lower part of his spine and gets around pretty slow for awhile. Good news is he says he actually has less pain then when he went in. It is a different kind of pain, surgery pain versus my nerves are aggravated pain. So that makes me happy. He gets me waiting on him and spoiling him for a few weeks.

Over all things are going pretty well considering. I am just exhausted and mentally drained. Between work and making sure everyone is taken care of, I need a mental health month. I feel like I could fall apart at any minute. Is there such thing as a give me more energy and make my brain work pill?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMAVISION 10/17/2014 8:27PM

    I hope that all is going smoothly for your mother, husband, & you --- with the healing process for your husband coming to an end --- with your mother doing well with the chemo treatments --- with you feeling less drained & exhausted now.

God bless!

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QTLADY 10/7/2014 1:11PM

    Hang in there! You are so supportive and I know your mom and your husband appreciate you immensely. I know it's difficult to keep going and to take care of yourself. Hope you can have a "me" day soon.

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