Thursday, December 04, 2014
Today will be one of the 3 last chemo sessions for my mom. She is so worn out and so tired, she doesn't even want to get out of bed. I do not blame her, They have been pumping her body full of poison since August 8. If I could take away her symptoms and her pain I would do it 10 times over. She has been so amazing and so strong. The chemo really has taken a toll the last few weeks though. She says her body hurts everywhere and the pain meds they gave her make her sick, so she doesn't want to take them. I think she might have an allergy to NSAIDs just like my husband does. Her reaction for one Tramadol seemed excessive.
I call her almost every day, giving my pep talk, told her we are almost there, we can't give up now, you are so strong and you've made it this far. Just 3 more times, then surgery and hopefully we are done with this BS. I love her so much, she cannot give up on us now. As soon as we know a surgery date, I want to be there for her. I need to be there for her. If it means my job so be it.
As long as her white blood cell count stays good, and her blood work looks good, we are looking at December 18 being her last chemo treatment, just in time for Christmas. I do not know how long she will get to recover before the double mastectomy and lymph removal. I hope they give her a couple weeks to get through it though, let her body get a little stronger before she has to try to heal such a major surgery.
Stress has been getting to me, I guess my doctor recognized it before I did. She gave me some Valium to take a night. I have been sleeping better and it has me moving more and being more productive at work during the day, so that is good. I have a follow up appointment on Monday.
I hope everyone had a blessed Thanksgiving and are having fun preparing for the holidays.
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Mom is still fighting, she is the most amazing woman I know. I swear she is super woman. She is 68 years old and fighting cancer like someone in their 20s would. She refuses to give up and I love her more and more every day for how strong and determined she is. She is officially half way done with this different round of chemo. She has 6 sessions left, every Thursday (week of Thanksgiving it will be moved to Wednesday). Tomorrow will put her down to 5 treatments. If things keep progressing so well, she will be done with chemo on Dec 18, 2014 and will get a few weeks off before her surgery to remove those bad breasts and give her some pretty new ones. My sister, niece and her hubby will be there the week of Thanksgiving with her so she will not be alone, I know she is excited to see her grand baby. If she is feeling well and ok to travel, she wants me to fly her here for Christmas. Even if she is not, I have the week of Christmas off and I will go to see her. She will not be alone for the holidays!
Goals are tough lately. I find myself obsessing mentally over food. When i try to go the healthy route, it seems then I go into I think about food and what I can't have all the time. It becomes overwhelming and obsessive even. I want that, no you can't have that...blah blah blah. I wish I could shut my mind off for food, it would make this getting back on the healthy track a lot easier.
Today I have my drink enough water goal and try to reach 10k steps with my fitbit. Wish me luck. It's also my hubby's birthday so I want to try and make him a yummy special dinner.
Tuesday, November 04, 2014
I just don't even know what to do lately. I feel so stressed and overwhelmed I can't even get a hold on life. I constantly worry about my mom, how chemo is going, is she getting better, when will this all be over. I am worried about my husband who recently had spine surgery, but still has pain and is frustrated and having a hard time dealing with things lately. I'm trying to be the rock for everyone right now, and I'm to the point I'm about to just explode.
I try to not show my upset moments or pain or freak outs to anyone else, they don't need extra stress, but man I feel it leaking out in small doses and people are starting to notice I am not myself. I really need to find some strength right now. I need some guidance and support.
Thursday, October 30, 2014
So mom is still holding strong and being the most amazing, strong woman I know. Seven chemo treatments have been completed, number 8 is today and she has 6 more to go! She will be done with chemo on December 17th, right before Christmas. She will get a couple weeks off and then they ill do her mastectomy. She is stage 3b, triple negative Inflammatory breast cancer, for those who haven't read my previous blogs. The woman is so strong, I can't even describe how proud I am of her. I cannot be with her in another state any longer to help her go through treatments because of work, but I continue to be her cheerleader over the phone. I call her every day and try to send her inspiration every day in some way. I have good feelings that she will be a survivor waiting at the finish line when my sister, husband and I walk 60 miles in the Breast Cancer 3-day November 2015 in her honor.
I have set up some goals to start November 1st (this Saturday). I've been off track for a bit, with everything going on and I've gained a few pounds back...definitely not what I want to do. If I'm going to consider my spine surgery in the new year, I'd like to get a bit more weight off to help the healing process. Here are some of my starting goals:
1. Drink my water...water water water. I've gotten better, but I think I am still lacking here.
2. Try to hit my 10k step goal on my fitbit every day for a healthy heart.
3. Start measuring and pre-planning my portions and meals again.
4. Get in at least 3 workout videos or gym sessions per week.
5. Work yoga and my relax therapy back into my routines.
I will add more goals through the next coming weeks and keep progress. November 1st, I will start blogging my goals and progress to be accountable. Hopefully if I have any readers they will motivate me and cheer me on.
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