Tuesday, July 22, 2014
So right now everything still feels like a waiting game. Waiting for the full stage and treatment plan. We should know this Friday hopefully. On a lighter note, even though the cancer is an aggressive form of breast cancer, and only 1% of breast cancer patients get it, we were lucky to find out from the P.E.T. scans Monday that we have caught it early enough to only have it localized in her breast and her arm pit lymph nodes. I am praying hard every night that we will fight this, we will get through this. I haven't even had the chance to make her a grandmother yet :(
My younger brother has been there the last few weekends to spend time with her, he lives about 4 hours away. My younger sister flies in Saturday to spend a week with her. She is a school teacher and has to go back to work, she has been on maternity leave since January and cannot afford to take any more time off of school. My older brother is missing, no one can get a hold of him, which says he is a-wall again or he is in jail again :( I swear he needs to grow up already, he is 45 years old!! I guess you could say I am the lucky one when it comes to my job. I am a software programmer/web designer and I've already talked to my work about doing some working remotely. Not only is the company I work for amazing, but they are going to allow me to take the time needed to be there with her and help her get through this. I will just log in from my computer to work each day and get what I can done. They will be dropping me from salary to hourly, but that is with being realistic that I may or may not be able to make my 40 hours every week between her appointments and such, so I can't complain about that.
I just hope I can be strong for her, I've never seen my mother weak in my life. She is the stringers, most stubborn woman I know and I fear I will be seeing her at her weakest with this plague that has invaded her body. I pray that I stay strong, I pray that she will use that strength and stubbornness to get through this, to hang on a little longer. We lost our dad less than 2 years ago, we are not ready to lose our mom also.
Romans 15:13: "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Sunday, July 13, 2014
So on Friday July 11, 2014 my family received some devastating news. News we thought we would never hear, since cancer has never been in our family history before. It just goes to show that no matter what we do in our lives, things happen, cancer happens.
My mother was diagnosed with Inflammatory Breast Cancer. It is a more rare type of breast cancer, only effecting around 1-2% of all breast cancer patients. It is also a very aggressive form of the cancer. It can show up out of no where with no signs or lumps in the breast until you have a swollen breast that is red and puffy and feels very heavy. Because of this, it is only ever shown up in stage 3 or 4. We will find out for sure next week exactly what stage it is after all the P.E.T. scans.
So let me tell you a little about the amazing woman who is not going to be fighting for her life over the coming months. This woman, my mother is one of the strongest women I have ever known. Not only did she raise 4 of us kids, 3 of us from babies all on her own, this woman worked full time, kept food on the table and has us kids that turned out pretty awesome in the process. She was born in Lawford, England right after Victory over Japan in 1946. She moved to the United States with her military husband (US military) and my older brother in 1970. I am the first US born on my mom's side of the family and I find that kind of special. My mom, her name is Sue and she taught me to be the woman I am today. I am strong, determined, independent, financially stable and don't rely on anyone else to get where I am. When my father left when I was only about 4 and my younger brother and sister (twins) were only one...from that day on she told us don't ever rely solely on your man, you need back up plans, you need to be able to support yourself and your family if you have one should something happen. You never know when or how the time will come when you have to step up to the plate.
My sister and I both have college degrees, which we paid for ourselves through scholarships and working full time while in college. We both moved out of state and begin our careers and lives in our early 20s. She is a successful and amazing school teacher, I am an experienced web developer and programmer. My brothers, all though they did not do the college thing, they have definitely made something of themselves too. My older brother is an amazing mechanic, and my younger brother is a maintenance manager of a very reputable hotel chain. All of us kids were making it on our own before we even graduated high school. This gives you an idea of how amazing this woman raised us.
Enough of history though, I just want to have in writing how awesome she is, I am going to be blogging this journey, every step because I need to remind myself we are strong and we are fighters. And we are going to fight this with everything we have. I don't expect everyone to follow these blogs or even read them, but if you do, I hope you can get a sense of how amazing my mom is and our journey through this along the way.....
Monday, May 26, 2014
Yes, I am talking about myself, I have been a slacker. Not only have I not blogged since early April, but I'm a slacker with my health the last two months also. Once again I was getting into a workout routine, got sick and haven't been back to it. I've only gained 2 pounds in my bad habits lately which is surprising, but it still makes me angry at myself.
I need to stop worrying about what everyone else in my house will eat and just worry about what I should be eating. I can make them what they want and cook myself something separately. I really need to work on better habits for myself instead of giving in to what they want to eat. Instead of coming home, cooking and plopping on the couch, I need to get off my butt and get to work.
I think I am going to start getting up earlier than I already do and get the gym out of the way before work, since I am not making it to the gym after work.
I am just down on myself again and I've lost my motivation again. I really need to find my pick me up, get me out of the rut and on track again. I need to stop making excuses and just do it. I know it is all my doing and I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. It's a journey an I will get there some day, but the longer I wait the more my health suffers and the less likely I will ever get to have a baby. I need to start now. RIGHT NOW!
Wednesday, April 02, 2014
Well April is here, it's time to set some more goals. March goals...they went ok, but I could have done a lot better. It's once again my birthday month and I have not met my weight loss goal. I sometimes wonder if I ever will. It's so difficult. I have every excuse in the book why I can't get to that goal, but it just all comes down to health issues + I am not doing enough to get there! Why is it so easy to make excuses? I hate that...I need to just do it and get it done!
I ordered Combat (beach body) on Monday, I got the challenge pack, so my new videos and Shakeology are on the way. This is another step towards my goals for the month. 30 days to a fitter me! I really want to do better this month. I need more exercise and eat differently, that is all there is to it. So here in writing are my April goals, and I plan to check in weekly to be accountable:
1. WATER WATER WATER....yup still slacking with this intake.
2. At least 30 minutes (even if broken up) of physical activity every day.
3. Fruits and veggies...need a lot more in my diet, they are pretty much non-existent.
4. Stop the negative talk, every time I look in the mirror I have something awful to say about myself.
5. Try to get more sleep, this 4-5 hours isn't working lately.
I will only do 5, I don't want too many for fear I will not succeed. So if anyone reads this...please help keep me motivated and push me!
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Well progress health wise hasn't happened like I hoped it would, but that is all on me. I was avoiding the gym because I hate the beginning of the year when it so over crowded with the short term resolution people. Yet I didn't do anything to make up the exercise at home. My eating habits haven't got any worse, but they have not improved either. I am still struggling with my water intake, I'm not drinking bad things, I'm just not drinking enough of anything. I get so busy at work I do not even think about it. And before I know it the day is over and you're lucky if I have had 20oz of water.
I feel like I'm ready to get back on track, yet I keep not doing it. It's so easy to come home form a long day at work and be lazy. It doesn't help that my family allows me to either. I really need to work on it. I'm thinking of buying the new 21 day eating/workout program from beach body. I've loved all the other ones I've done from them so far, so I think I want to try this one. It's on sale till the end of the month.
Since last I've blogged, we sold a car and bought a new one. We are considering selling another one as well, having and maintaining 3 cars can be difficult at times. I have a beautiful new niece. She was born January 21st and her name is Emma. She was 6lbs 8oz and is perfect. She is the first for my younger sister and I'm so happy for her.
Well I guess I just wanted to give everyone an update. I will try to blog more and hopefully have some progress news on my getting healthier.
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