Thursday, April 25, 2013
So this past tuesday my 19 year old son looked at me and said ",hay mom what is up with your clothing you look a mess" ? Funny thing is I was thinking the same thing when I had gotten dress early that day putting on a skirt and blouse that is way to big now and trying to make it work because I didn't wont to go out and buy new clothing till i had lost some more weight . Guess you can say am cheep LOL anyway after taking a long look at my clothing I had to say it , It was time for some clothing that fit and its time to pack up clothing that has gotten to big and give them away ,You don't get it last year this time I packed up my size 28, 26, 3x clothing and gave them away 3 huge trash bags of expensive clothing and I was ok with it was happy to see them go , now am packing up my 24 and 22 because am in a 20 and a 2x but this year i keep taking stuff back out the bags saying I can make it work all my cute clothing gone am almost crying am not going to have anything to put on , yesterday I went shopping bought 6 new outfits and I was walking around the store and felt my underwear falling of OMG I need new underwear to going to have to go down a size my kids were in the store cracking up as I tried to pull then up without anyone looking no more matching panti es and bra sets because all my panties are to big , I guess I should be happy but I got a lot of clothing that I loved and now I have to say farewell , Today is a sad happy day for me
Friday, April 19, 2013
I found out my cousin that I grew up with has bone cancer and she is not doing well we dont live close to each other so I sent flowers yesterday , last year I lost a good friend as well did not know he was as sick as he was till it was to late . Last night I woke up and said" Kelly you have to start to find a way to enjoy your life before its over"Always spending all my time working, paying bills and pulling out my hair over something , I spent so much time on it that's all life has become You know its worthless in the end , I cant bring back my loved ones that have passed away but I can let the ones who are still hear know I love them , pick up the phone people say hello , send a card , take the time to let someone know your thinking of them . I remember the last day I spent with my good friend he looked over at me and said he loved me , it made me smile we spent that day together on the beach it was as beautiful as our friendship was. I should have spend more days like that one and less days like today going to make it a point to have some fun and steep out of the box . People dont get caught up in the life trap I am in, it will lead you down a dark street, sometimes living by the book isn't the best plan, love people why they are still walking around dont Waite to send flowers till someone is sick or has passed away, send them just to say you care Hell send some to yourself , Forget about life's everyday woes trust me it will be their when you get their take some time out for yourself and your love ones, you have to learn to play or you will find yourself dead long before you take your last breath . PS . My cousin in all her pain still facebooked me a pic of the flowers and said it made her day , all am saying is make someone day today or make it your day .
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Well , I think I need a life change , I really hate my job am sitting in a chair taking calls all day long and its sucked the fun right out of me , and crazy thing is when I get off work lately*I feel like I need a nap, Really just smack me , how can I be sleepy after sitting at a desk job all day ? Yea I been asking myself that to I use to work as a full time nanny had plenty of energy and ran after kids ,played outside and was very active and i was 40lbs lighter as well , now hear I am stuck on a job I hate and yes getting fat even though I eat less , problem is you dont burn a hole lot of calories setting in a chair ,but I have to work and pay bills so hear I am feeling very stuck , I would love to go back to being a nanny but my car has been down for almost 9mos no car no job and the money I make now is just not cutting it , its become a check by check lifestyle not working for me at all . So I had to take a good look at myself and ask what is really going on in this head of mine answer full blown depression , next step what do you do about it ? Lets see first of all I moved to Florida 9 years ago to live near the beach do I stay near the beach aaaaaa NO so its time to move yesssss beachside or back home to Toledo , Ohio where I have family and friends because hear its me and my boys and the sun dont even know if its worth it anymore but I love the sun , and speaking of my boys I really think its time for me to cut the strings , I have a 6 bedroom 4 bath home and big bills to go with it , I dont wont the big house I only have 2 son's who are under the age of 18 and I really would love to get a small town house beach side , but my mother side kicks in my older sons work but they only gave part time jobs and they dont make the money it takes to stay on their own , but ever part of me wants to walk away and say to them guess what MOM'S OUT , and this crazy stress is working overtime on me and I cant do this anymore I feel like my over all health is going down hill and if I keep this up am not going to be mom at all because am going to be the dead mom , however I have no idea how to get out of this mess am in really looking for some help I guess am I wrong ? Or do I just go for it , should I just DO IT I dont know . I know I need to change somethings fast because it ant helping the hips .
Friday, March 29, 2013
so its been over a year maybe two since i was able to get into my pants
Friday, March 22, 2013
A talk with World
By Kell D. Wyatt
A talk with World
I came home early from work today because am sick , don't get me wrong I don't have a illness just been caring around the World all day and its gotten to be to much . I tried to tell it to go away around 3 am but it said it would like to stay up and talk ,I told it I was trying to sleep and go away , The World say hay Kelly do you think your going to be the next person to lose your job at work you know things have not been good for you the past two weeks .I say " Hay you ass am trying to sleep some of us need that you know " The World chatters all night and all night I ask it to stop . Dammmmmmmmmm its 6am and its poking me hay you have been sleep much to long wake up and get dressed , well I see am not going to get any sleep so I get up , look at myself and I see the World all over my face , so I take out my make up bag and I know I can fix this. Nothing some lip stick cant cover . I look at myself and say all I have to do now is top it with a smile . Looking good, and am off to work I get to the car and the World is in the car with the seat belt on , I ask it to stay home and it reply' s o no thank you I love going to work with you it always so much fun , World reminds me we are low on gas and that I only have $3 , well that's not going to get you to far it says but lets make do we have to run .
I get to work sit at my desk and world sits with me , I ask it to go out to the car till am off the clock but it says "No I like this place and not only that that's my song playing on the radio so am going to stay . I start my day when World seeks up. To bad you don't have money to go home its been 9 years since you moved away and everyone you know is dying or dead and you cant even get home to see them its just to bad . I tell the World to shout the hell up am working and it says o Yes it's pay day I almost forgot I guess you really don't care since you still don't have the money to cover your rent , O am sorry I wonder if you will be homeless and you just got such a nice home well good news is even if your homeless I will keep you company I tell it to put a sock in it or go away . World tells me Kelly I will never go away your my best friend were buddy's for life .
The thought makes me sick and brings tears to my eyes . World says we go through everything together ooooooo yes think of all the fun we have had remember when you were homeless and had no place to go now that was a ride or what about the time the lights were off 3 mo and now I tell you your sister's sick ,you cant pay your rent , your car is a bucket and you haven t been home in9years and it don't look like you are going home anytime soon right ? So that makes me your best friend right ??? RIGHT!!!!!!
I don't answer the World says Kelly its just you and the boys you don't know anyone down here in Florida who cares about you as much as me , am your best friend your only friend right ????? I don't answer WORLD .I begin to cry and World says OOOOOOOO I love it when you do that it always makes me laugh , this is the best game ever how long are we going to play ?????? I don't answer . World tells me how much fun he is having and how great his day is going , and I don't answer . World ask me Kelly why don't you talk to me tell me what your thinking and I don't answer . World ask me what is wrong and I speek World I only talk to my friends and he says well you don't have any. I tell the world he is wrong . Well World I have a great friend I talk to him when I am sad and he never says anything bad back to me when I am sad he wipes my tears away when i am in pain he stays till I am well when am broke he makes a way out of no way and World starts to laugh hard O Kelly World says to me friends like that don't existed in this World And I tell him he is right that's why my friend isn't part of this world . He laughs at me and ask who is this friend I tell him his name is Jesus . Note dont let the world get you down keep pushing to be the person you wwont to become.
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