Sunday, June 23, 2013
Ok, long time since a blog, so its definitely overdue.
Summer semester, 2013 ... I'm into my second semester of my doctorate and I'm stupidly taking TWO classes.
As of May, I'd lost 13 pounds this year. Pretty good towards my 2 lbs/month goal for the year. But doctorate classes started at the beginning of this month and I'm back up around 4 lbs, pushing 200 once again.
This particular weekend has been bad. I've spent almost the whole weekend sitting spread out on the kitchen table working. Books and papers piled high ... one good thing is the tea is close by, but so are all the snacks.
On top of the doctoral stress, is the stress with Eddie. A young woman at his barn has been riding him for the past 8-9 months. Now mind you, I started paying her to EXERCISE him. They have gotten so pushy, as if they have all these rights to him. They aren't leasing him, they aren't paying any of his bills. They've already caused him to have colic once. And she wanted to take him down to Tallahassee to jump in JULY!
Ugh, fortunately the agreement was up end of June and I've already arranged for him to go into a lesson program at the barn. The barn owner already has several students lined up to take lessons on him (which also helps the cost of his board, woo hoo!) Here's to hoping July isn't so expensive for me.
Also, I found a Dressage saddle on sale! Originally $850, HorseLoverz.com had a Memorial Day sale and I got it for $170!!! Granted there are no stirrups, leathers or girth to go with it, I think it was still a great deal. Only problem ... It's a size 17" ... and my butt is still a bit big for it (that's why I NEED to get back to loosing weight).
Right now I'm waiting on my doctoral team mates from one of my classes to contact me. We're supposed to be meeting online, we have a 6-10 page paper to write (I hate team projects that are papers... too difficult!) Paper is due Wednesday. Wish they'd hurry up. Gonna be upset if they don't show up, but it's early and they both tend to run a bit behind.
Other updates...have to look and see... the last time I posted was around Thanksgiving. A LOT has transpired since then, a lot of bad stuff honestly.
Biggest thing was Dolly. In late February her back started hurting her, we took her to the vet, he did an X-Ray and ordered "bed" rest (how do you make a dog stay in bed??). Pain meds and rest ... didn't do the trick. The x-ray had show some herniated disks in her spine. He recommended spinal surgery, so not knowing what else to do, we agreed. A five year old dog that you love and think of as your child, what else can you do? So March 18th, Dolly had back surgery. He went in expecting to find 3 herniated disks and found five. He wouldn't let us start coming to see her till the week before Easter and she'd nearly given up by then. You have to understand, she'd never spend more than one night away from us, so we're sure she felt abandoned. The day after Easter, she got to come home. Home being, to my parents house so they could nurse her wounds and take care of her. That Wednesday she got her wheel chair and was able to start moving around a little (she had 32 staples in her back by the way).
I spent the night that Friday and Saturday to spend the time with her (my cat Callie came with me, couldn't leave her home alone). Saturday I got footage of Dolly pulling herself around in her wheel chair, it tired her out quickly but I think she enjoyed getting to move around on her own. Sunday morning, we got up and started getting ready for church. When my parents went to give her her morning medicine, they found she had passed away during the night. We don't know what happened, we thought she'd been improving. It could have been any number of things.
Its been really hard recovering, its hard to talk about without crying, its still a healing process. But I can say that it caused all of April to be a blur from that point on. I don't remember much of anything that month. My Nana's birthday was that month and I don't even remember how we celebrated it (it was her 89th one).
Needless to say, from Mid-Feb through April and some of May ... we were in no mental condition to do much exercising. We just recently got back to it. Only reason I didn't gain weight during this time period (and actually lost weight) was because just prior to the events, my doctor had put me on some medication. I'm sure the medication would have worked better had I been able to exercise, but it did keep me from eating to quell the pain. Now I'm off the medication though, and the stresses of school and work ARE getting to me. Exercise certainly helps, but on days when I'm not at work, where I can't go to the gym, I haven't been able to exercise ... due to the fact that when I decide I want to go walking ... it starts RAINING! (Not that I'm complaining about the rain per say, we really do need it ... )
OK, I'm sure I have more to write, but my wrist is starting to hurt and I'm still waiting on my team mates... and this post is getting horribly long. So for now, I think this is enough.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
The holiday season is always hard for most of us trying to loose weight. I had plans to be ever so good during the Thanksgiving Break.
But the best laid plans ...
Wednesday before Thanksgiving I was out with my family. I'd already put in my run for the day, I was doing good. We went to Moe's for lunch, I was starving from the run, but I didn't do too bad with my meal.
But after lunch was when everything hit the skids.
We were outside Office Depot and my mother slipped and fell. Did a perfect split on the pavement. At 65 years old, it was the first time she'd ever done a perfect split, but it was perfectly painful for her. First thing she said was that she'd thought she'd broken her hip! This of course freaked my grandmother out who immediately wanted her rushed to the hospital.
My mother, having the medical background she has, wasn't about to go to the hospital. She took time to breath and slowly shift. When she realized she could move her foot, she knew the hip wasn't broken. But it took my father and I to lift her up to standing and hold her upright. With me being the primary support (and grandmother somewhat helping) my father went and got the car and drove up so we could get her into the car.
We got her home and dad and I had to basically pick her up the stairs to get her in the house.
Somewhere in the process of me running and helping my mom, I injured my left leg. The tendons on the front of my left leg got pulled. I tried running yesterday and I was unable to do so. Had to walk instead.
All of this happening right before the 5k Jingle Bell Jog on Dec 1!
To top it off, hormones fluxing over the holiday, colder weather setting in, stress of my mother's injury.... my diet fell off the wagon and got left in the dust.
Hoping this week will get better. Rainy weather is depressing, so I have to be aware of that so I can combat it. Fortunately today I won't get home till late, so I won't have a lot of time to sit around and get the munchies.
I always want time off to rest, but that rest time always seems to have stressful events too... not to mention too much time to create the munchies...
I was so hoping to do so much better this past week...
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
I did manage to complete the Couch to 5K program. That's a huge accomplishment for me. But since I completed it, I think I have had 3 chances to continue to run since. I have another 5k I plan on doing on Dec 1 but I think my finish time is going to go down just because I don't have time to train anymore.
I'd like to blame the time change on this lack of time (I notice a theme of "time" here). Because it all seems to have gone down hill since the time changed. No day light! (It also hasn't helped that there has been candy all over the office since 10/31).
Of course, this week I have Jury Duty (which I'm off it at the moment, but I'm at work instead). Along with a National Soccer Tournament being held on campus. Not to mention the class I'm teaching in the evening on Tuesday/Thursday. Tonight is Wed and I would go running, but I have choir rehearsal at 6!
This weekend is blown out of the water for running because the Autumn Classic is being held Saturday. While I'm not actually riding in it (I haven't ridden in a show since the accident in Oct 2010), I am going to see someone else ride my horse ... and I'm taking someone else with me. So there isn't much option at this point.
Hoping next week, with it being a mostly holiday week, I can crank out some miles.
Honestly, despite all the "busy-ness" of the season, I know I can't blame any one thing. They are just excuses. The buck must stop with me, I can't pass it.
Therefore I must set myself a new motto "No Excuses". I am going to make up a sign and attach it to my door at work. I may do it at home too. I cannot make the excuses:
It's too cold
It's too dark
I'm too tired
I'm too busy
If I can't stand the weather outside, it shouldn't matter! I have an elliptical, I have DVDs. I may end up with a cranky dog but she can get over it. My health is too important! This weight must come off! NO MORE EXCUSES!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
I'm a whirlwind ...
The last month has been crazy busy.
We've renovated the kitchen, downstairs bathroom, as well as both bathrooms upstairs. Painted the master & closets, as well as the upstairs hall way.
I've bought furniture, moved furniture ... still have more to go.
I've got a brand new washer & dryer compliments of my parents.
Just smaller stuff left to move.
Hoping to get new pictures up soon!
Violin lessons are going OK ... when I actually have time to practice that is. But at least I can read music. It's just a problem when I'm trying to read the music, remember correct posture & hand placement, make sure the bow isn't angling wrong, keep the right rhythm, etc...
Just starting to get things straightened out.
(Still haven't gotten to go ride Eddie...last ride was in April ... )
Then I was asked to sing a solo at church this past Sunday. So I spent time practicing the song "You Raise Me Up" ... since it seemed a good choice for father's day.
The Worship Leader told me to be in the sanctuary at 9 am for sound check Sunday morning. I was there, he was not. He was a full 25 minutes late, and by then the whole band was there and fooling around. He puts my music in, I start to sing ... and suddenly I here extra drum ... The drummer claimed that cause the mic was off for the drums, I couldn't here... but I could. I tried a second time, and he continued to drum. Defeated, I gave up. Said "I can't do it" ... I was already exhausted physically from moving ... I couldn't fight people who insisted on goofing off while others are trying hard to do something else.
I grabbed my phone and went outside ... crying and called my mom who came and picked me up.
After sitting at home for awhile, I felt bad about leaving Dad at church by himself ... on Father's Day .... so Mom and I headed back to church to be there for him. But the whole incident had my vocal cords so tight that I couldn't sing, couldn't enjoy anything.
Later that afternoon I get another twist ... an Ex-Boyfriend (4 years older than me) calls me on the phone. He'd seen me in a store earlier that week, then a day or so later, drove past my parents house and saw us packing my truck. He panicked and thought I was moving out of town (and right now I sort of wish I was). I told him no, just moving across town to my own place. Then jokingly told him he could come and help us move some of the furniture ... and he DID! He even came back Monday with his brother and his flat bed trailer and helped my parents move several pieces of solid wood furniture (I couldn't be there due to appointments at work).
I don't know if he was really scared of me leaving because he thought he'd never see me again... or if it's because he needs my help. He got a new job recently at a computer store, and he's not very familiar with computers. He agreed to help do some repairs at my house if I teach him how to sell computers, etc. I agreed to do that... because at least I know he knows what he's doing when it comes to house repairs ... and I hate to see someone struggling at their job when they want to do good. But I don't know if he really is interested in me, or if he is just using me for my knowledge ... again. (Last time he wanted me to train his horse for him ... which was after my accident with Ed and I refused...hey, I'm still not that confident with horses!)
Then also yesterday, I heard from another guy I know (4 or so years younger than me), but haven't seen or heard from in years. I only went out once with him, the other times he called last minute to go out and I'd always made plans by that point in time (I am not a very spontaneous person ... I like to plan things out so I actually get stuff done.) So we never went out on another date. I knew he liked me a long time prior, but at the time I was his boss and it was just inappropriate. Yesterday he told me about his family moving up closer to Atlanta, so I didn't think much of it.
Today I got back from Violin lessons to see several messages he'd left on my computer. Basically that the time we did go out, he had fun, etc. There was a bit of an attempt at guilt thrown in the mix there too. We talked for a bit longer just a bit ago. Unlike the guy #1, I know that guy #2 wants to date, etc. There is just a lot of awkwardness with a relationship with him. Only within the last few years has he decided to go on for a Bachelor's level degree.
Before, when I knew he was interested I guess I balked because he didn't seem to have any drive ... he worked part time at the college as a student worker ... no benefits, no insurance ... and he wanted to date me, with benefits, insurance, higher level degree, etc. I guess I felt like I was being pursued because I was a meal ticket. He still hasn't graduated with his Bachelors, and in this economy there is no telling what job opportunities will be out there. Not that I would mind marrying someone who didn't have a job. The issue is ... are they actively looking for a job? Or, once married, would he give up on the job search? I don't mind working, but I don't want to be the primary or sole source of income. That's more pressure than I can stand.
But ... to have all this happen within days of each other????
Not to mention another guy (#3) who was out of town till recently, working in TX. He came back to GA this weekend and was recovering from the long drive. He's hinted at liking me, but nothing definitive. And he hasn't bothered to come down and see me since he got back into the state. So maybe he's not even an issue. He is a good sounding board though. I feel I can trust him with things, I can talk to him and I know I'll get an honest answer. Something I don't feel with #1 or #2. #1 might give a wishy-washy answer or a biased opinion. #2 will just respond with whatever he things will please me. But #3 hits hard with questions that do need to be seriously considered. Perhaps he's a bit too blunt at times, but he gets the point across, he doesn't sugar coat anything and he doesn't try to please me. He certainly doesn't show any bias, he'll even play devil's advocate if the situation calls for it.
Oh if there were only a way to take the best qualities of each and put it into one guy.
.... but when I think about all that ... do I even want to bother? I'm just getting happy and settled down with my own place. My career, while lower paying than I'd like, has smoothed out to some degree in the last few months. Do I really want a guy to gunk up the works?
Personally, the only guy I want to see right now is my Eddie-boy ... I would love to go out and ride him and just enjoy him and not have to deal with all of this other stuff.
Ah, well.... guess now that I've vented I'll get back to work. Life still rolls on.
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