Tuesday, February 05, 2013
For the past couple weeks I haven't seen much change in my weight or measurements. In fact, I only lost one pound the week before last, and my Wii Fit game (Which is the only scale I have right now.) said I gained a pound last week although I still protest because I have no idea how that happened. I've exercised every day and I ate well all month. Anyway, the lack of motivation from results and couple with stress and less than stimulating exercise made me begin to dread my workouts. I didn't even want to get out of bed because I knew it would be time to workout.
Last week was tough because I was tired of it. I kept going though, because I wanted to finish up my entire month, thereby finishing one of those pre-made schedules that come with the programs for the first time. I did finish Friday, but I was so tired of it that I didn't feel proud of myself. Yesterday was the start of a new week and new cycle of the program, and I dreaded it. It was a struggle to keep going and my mind kept wandering. My workouts began to feel more like going through the motions rather than pushing for results.
Today I got up and dressed to workout first thing as usual, in order to motivate myself to do it asap. I didn't though. I procrastinated for a couple hours by making calls or cleaning, then admitted that I just didn't want to do it. Is that it? Is it time to give up? This always happens when I go on a diet. I thought to myself, "Do I really want to give up just so I can sit around and be lazy?" Then i realized, I didn't want to give up; I even wanted to exercise. The issue was that I was so sick of the video series I had been doing that I dreaded them.
It felt like cheating, but today I decided to play Just Dance on workout mode rather than doing the videos. I set it up on the longest program and started. Before long I was sweating more than I had with the Video Series in two weeks. The longest Just Dance program is only around 20 minute long, so I did a video unrelated to the prior series to finish up my 40 minutes.
Now that It's over it doesn't feel so much like cheating. I feel like I got a better workout today than I had in two weeks, even though it wasn't a program put together by a professional. The best part is that I don't dread my workout tomorrow or feel like quitting anymore. Hopefully this can get my back on track with my goals. I made a promise to myself not to quit and I intend to keep it.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
I'm so glad week 3 is over and I'm still alive. Week 3 has been terrible. I hit the occasional rough spot with my depression and my sleep, appetite, and mood suffered as a result. Weighed this morning and found that I gained a pound since Thursday. I've been running it over in my head trying to figure out how. I didn't splurge or anything and I thought I exercised as well as I could. I've still lost a pound since last week. A small victory is better than none.
The dreaded fluctuation happens with every diet I go on, though usually I can be as much as 5lbs. The last time I tried to lose weight I lost about 15lbs and gained 5 or 6. I got so angry and just quit. I had no idea how it happened or why it does every time. I can't afford to see a doctor and check my thyroid, but they did mention it looked unusual the last time I was able to go about 3 years ago. My mom mentioned innocently that if it is my thyroid maybe I won't be able to lose weight and that totally threw my confidence over the edge. It wasn't her fault though. It my decision alone to give up.
This time I intend to keep my workout schedule and try my best even if the scale doesn't move, because I have other reasons to get healthier: like building my strength. I used to be a brute but over the last couple of years my body has gotten so weak I can't lift anything anymore. I can't go out and have fun with family and friends because I'm always falling behind and winded, I'm embarrassed to buy clothes with other people because of my size, I'm fatigued every day. Just sick of it.. I've decided I'm going to keep my exercise schedule and build my strength no matter what.
Instead of dwelling on the negative as I usually do, here are my victories for the week:
I lost 1 pound.
I did all of my exercise even though I really didn't feel like it any day this week.
I was able to do more during my workouts this week than I had been, such as balancing on one leg during the rapid leg lifts/kicks session and doing crunches without modification. Wasn't possible when I started 3 weeks ago.
...and my favorite for the week. I didn't buckle to emotional eating. There were a couple times I got so frustrated and wanted to eat, sometimes right after dinner. Usually I would eat again without a second thought, but this week I said to myself. "You're not hungry, you're angry; there's a difference."
Week 4 begins slightly deflated, but still motivated. I'm not going to give up that easily this time. Nice try, depression.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Yesterday I couldn't drink more than 8 glasses of water, where I'm used to 12-15, due to our well being frozen. As a result I got a bit of a headache and I wasn't able to sleep last night. That threw the entire day off today, I napped all day and finally made myself get up to exercise. Wanted to skip so badly, but I convinced myself to just do 20 minutes. After I got started I decided to go ahead and do my entire 50 minutes.
So excited I broke through this! Getting lazy and not wanting to workout, then letting myself take a "rest day" and having it turn into 50 (or about 600 rest days judging by my last exercise gap) has been my fear since I started. That's what usually happens every time I start a program. I won't let myself this time because I'm seeing results and I want to see more.
Monday, January 21, 2013
I cheated a little and did my measurements a couple weeks early. I couldn't wait any longer. lol Overall I was pleased to have lost 2 inches in my midsection. Though, Didn't see any change in my arms and neck. Will have to do some extra arm exercises and figure something out for my neck. The big win though was my thighs; a few days ago I noticed that they looked smaller, and I was right. I lost 6.5 inches in them since January 7th!! I'm blown away. Kickboxing is being very good to me; at least when it comes to my legs anyway. Also did the Pushup and crunch test, did 9 more push ups, and 5 more crunches than last time. Not bad, not bad at all.
Side note: So excited that my weight loss ticker is about to move away from the left edge of the scale for the first time! Haha. Lost 8lbs this month so far.
Thanks to everyone who has been supporting me. I feel like I wouldn't have gotten anywhere without this great community.
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