Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Learning to be healthy. Why is it so hard? I know habits are hard to break, like quitting smoking, eating is just as bad. I can do well for a month or two and then I find myself right down the same road again. My choices are knowingly detrimental, yet I think it'll just be this one time.....and then ten times later, I've gained weight. What is it that happens to some people where they completely turn their life around!?
I've noticed that those people that lose a drastic amount of weight and then keep it off have made it an everyday way of life. It has to be a lifestyle change. What triggered them to finally do it!? Was it the right person saying the right thing at the right time? Was it them being tired of being overweight? Did they not fit in the seat on the airplane? Did someone make a comment about their weight? I guess you have to be REALLY uncomfortable in your skin, or understandably, want to do it for someone else (like your kids). I really want it, for me, and for my wedding, yet I am still allowing myself to make some bad decisions. Now I know that we have a meal or a day where we cheat, but we keep on trucking. One day is not everyday.
I'm having a pitty party over here. I can't make myself get out there and exercise and I keep finding excuses not too. For example, my sleep schedule has been out of whack and I'm not waking up early enough, when it's cool outside, to go run or walk. But I have a gym pass. That cancels each other out. Steve's mom had surgery and I spent a week at the hospital with them, eating out every night. Other factors are, Steve changed jobs, so there were a couple weeks where money was not coming in....but it was sure going out! But we were stressed about that for a while.
Now, I KNOW how good it feels when I exercise. I am motivated, and a better motivator! I feel fantastic and am more passionate about exciting others to feel fantastic.
Here's something else. I feel guilty about being off-line for a month here. I know that there are people who count on me for support, but how can I support them when I'm a mess? I have been putting out there into the universe that I am ready to get back on track yet it hasn't happened yet. I know it will, and maybe this blog is my turnaround point.
I have another cleanse I can do and think I am going to start it tomorrow, that way I can go to the grocery store today to prepare for it.
Thank you to my SP Buds that have kept a leash on me and not let me get completely off the charts. YOU are the reason I am blogging today and facing my demons. YOU are my reason today.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
I have to get it together. The week that I was getting back on the wagon and routine, a number of factors plucked me off the ladder. Steve's job was messing with him and he decided to quit. He did have another job lined up, but the process of leaving the one job and going with the new one was draining. His (now) old company called him and begged him to come back and even apologized for the way they had treated him. This left us in a lurch as to whether or not to take the new position. After many almost sleepless nights and talking, we decided to go with the new company. Nevertheless, the process of making that decision exhausted us. He is doing training in Chicago right now (he left Tuesday and won't be back till next Friday), but he is LOVING it!! We are so satisfied with our decision.
In addition to that problem, this is the last week of school for this quarter and I have a 10-12 page paper to write. I have been mentally writing it for several weeks, and had planned to start typing it out last weekend, but I had other priorities. So now it's Thursday and I have my work cut out for me. Plus, my dog is having puppies and is due Friday-ish. So I am having to prep the house for her. I am going to be all by myself while she delivers. I have never done this before. I have done some research but it still doesn't comfort me. I know she'll take care of it on her own, but I want to be the best mommy I can be for her too! lol
Well, with all that said, having all of this in your mind and having to make life altering decisions has got the best of me when it comes to my dieting. I did see my trainer twice this week which is good, but I have not ran. I just feel beat. Once my paper is done, there will be a weight lifted off of me and I know I will be gung-ho about my running routine again.
So, this too shall pass and I will be over this hurdle.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
So I went on a vacation (for lack of a better term) to California to see a girl I babysat since she was 3 years old, graduate from high school. I also took my girls out to find their bridesmaid dresses....and ended up buying my dress too!! I had every intention on going to the gym and running while I was there....but....I only ran 2 of the 10 days and I never went to the gym. I did make good choices while going out to eat....getting salads with Fat Free dressings, Chili's has a great Guiltless Santa Fe Wrap served with steamed veggies, but it was the drinking that got me. I don't physically feel like I have gained much, maybe a pound or two, but mentally I am mad at myself for getting off track. When I returned home, I planned on jumping right back into the swing but it took me until today to finally do that.
I wondered where my mojo went on Sunday and Monday and Tuesday. I was giving myself mental talks and encouragement. Then last night while taking a shower I had visions of 2 of my best SP Buddies yelling (encouraging) me to hit the road....start running. They were telling me, "You can do it!! Remember how good you'll feel!!" I envisioned crossing a finish line with them cheering me on. I envisioned us going out in our little black dresses and having a marvelous time. Ok, self, tomorrow morning, you will go for a run, rain or shine. Run as much as you can, and if you can't run, then walk. But you have to at least do 3 miles. Ok, I got this.
Hello Thursday. I'm up, it's time to run....if you wait, it will get hotter and then you won't go running. I left the house at 902a and I walked my 1/4 mile and then started jogging. And I jogged and I jogged and I jogged. All over the neighborhood, around this block and that block, then I started to get tired. I couldn't believe how far I had gone though without stopping! Toward the end, I wanted to start walking, but I challenged myself to run to where I started running, so the cycle would be complete and I could walk the 1/4 mile home as a cool down. Those SP Buds were in my head cheering me on, encouraging me, and I DID IT!! I actually ran 3.0 miles straight through today! Plus the 1/4 mile warm-up and cool down! I am so proud of me! When I got home, at 945a, I entered my fitness minutes and looked to see what was on the menu for breakfast. This is when I realized....I found my mojo. Laura and Alyssa had it, and gave it back to me in the shower last night:) I know that sounds bad, but it's the truth!
I do my best thinking in the shower---where I can't write it down or immediately do anything about it. But I persevered! And I have SP to thank for it.
I'm on the wagon to Onederland!
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