Monday, November 29, 2010
well I'm back! Glad to be back but am worried! I have not been on spark people in more then a few months. I have gone off my medication and back to all of my old bad habits. I ate fast food for all three meals yesterday. When I went to bad last night all I could think about is how unhappy I am with myself. I have been unhappy with myself for so long. Its starting to effect my relationship with my fiancÚ and it needs to stop! I need to get control over myself and be able to feel happy with myself for the first time. I have been thinking about spark people for a while but have been feeling so ashamed that I almost did not get back here. I have not weighed myself for a long time and I'm so worried about getting back on the scale. I also am worried about getting back to exercising because before I was going walking every morning now its so cold this in not an option for me, I need to find something else to do and I know this sounds stupid, but that is scary for me. I'm sad but I can't do this any more. I'm here to try again, to save myself. I need to start small all over again. I need to start drinking water again and get back on my medicine. I need to go see my doctor and I need to get on spark people everyday. I need to check my blood sugar and change my goals on my page. These things that I need to do are making me sad. Its hard to see the goals I made for myself that I did not reach. I'm going to need a lot of help and would love to have some people who are willing to keep in touch with me and help me stay on track. Hoping for better days.