CHELLEBELLE104   16,566
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Happy, Hoppy, Hoopy Weeeeeee!

Friday, August 15, 2014

Today, I am actually fighting being down. I have been for days. With all my job looking and trying to make things work here it feels like its not going well. I have had several job interviews but I haven't gotten any of the positions. I am not getting me time because either I'm not sleeping well at night or no one will watch the kids. I guess I am just very frustrated and needed to let off some steam. Maybe I just need to bite the bullet and do it at night. It is so much harder for me because well I am a bit depressed about things getting harder and the kids wear me out too. I wish I could get up early but unlike most kids I know these get up at 5:30 am to 6 am every morning without fail even if you let them stay up later hahaha. Believe it or not writing this out has me feeling a bit better. I know this is going to work out it just feels difficult right now.

Okay so enough of my pity party right. I am happy that I am getting stronger emotionally though maybe the above doesn't sound that way. I actually am talking to several guys that might turn into dates. That isn't something I would have done before. I am thinking about what I want/need and putting it out there and if it doesn't jive with them I am not pulling out the doom card on myself. I want to be with someone that I feel comfortable with. I am also learning to feel more confident in who I am.

I am loving the friendship that I am cultivating too. I love learning new stuff and seeing things through others eyes. I am actually learning to live my life more fully. Anyway enough about me. Hugs everyone.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STILLWATERSSB 10/3/2014 9:19AM

    Has that job come along yet?

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MCJOYFUL 8/26/2014 8:39AM

    emoticon Life can get a bit overwhelming at times and searching for a job can be draining. But you are doing great! I am so happy that you have more confidence in yourself! emoticon

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LINDA! 8/15/2014 7:26PM


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SANDRA_E 8/15/2014 11:20AM

    My son does the exact same thing - gets up at 5:30/6:00 in the morning every morning! I have always been a night owl, but after three years, I am starting to adjust to this morning business. :) emoticon

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Month 2 of Phase 1 Goals

Friday, August 08, 2014

M2P1: My goals for this past month were to do 750 fitness minutes, to lose 10 lbs, and walk 35 miles.

Actual results: I lost 4lbs, did 515 fitness minutes and walked 16.35 miles.

There isn't much to say about this than I disappointed myself for this month. Seeing it out here like this I have to be accountable to myself and others I share my journey with. I am disappointed that I didn't work as hard as I know I can. I let stuff get in the way, didn't take care of me like I should have and it is written right there in the numbers.

I have to admit it isn't a complete fail. No that would be not doing anything at all. That is failure.

I struggle with quitting things. I don't know why I do it. I want to change. But sometimes I get to this place and it just seems bigger than me. I get overwhelmed by stuff and then I loss out on fighting for what I truly want. emoticon Then the next thing I know I'm back to No-wheresville instead of Victoryville. This is not acceptable anymore. I am missing out on my life. I am missing out on confidence, better self-esteem, healthier relationships, more adventures, and seeing my dreams come true. I tell myself that if I were only skinnier blah blah will be better. It may, it may not but if I don't work on loving me and taking care of me I will stay in this rut of a life I've made for myself.

I didn't quit and that is a plus. I know if I don't put it out there it will be the next step. But I do have a Nonscale victory:
emoticon I AM NO LONGER A QUITTER. emoticon

Quitterville is no longer a stop on my journey. I am not going to do it. It may go slower because I'm not doing all I can. That will drive me crazy but I won't quit. I will have times I will push push push and it will go faster. And I won't quit because I will inspire myself. And finally there will be in between days where I will become more and more the person I am wanting to be. I will keep doing this until it becomes who I am and then there will be no turning back.

I don't want to leave out that I had another NSV. I did my first 5K. I was top in my age group, 4th for all females walking and 5th out of all the 13 walkers who signed up. I am proud of that. Random dance. emoticon

So this month my goals are to
emoticon lose 10 lbs,

emoticon do 1000 fitness minutes, walk/jog 40 miles, do 360 crunches, wall push ups, squats, lateral lunges and emoticon walk/jog one 5K.

emoticon I also wanted to be within my calorie range goals for 25 days of this month. I struggle with this big time.

I can do this if I focus and with all my spark peeps helping me. Its a doable goal. Push push push emoticon because I'm worth it. Make that fat baby cry buckets. emoticon Channeling my inner athlete. You have this girl! Rock this month.

Wow that seems so big to me. I am stronger than I think I am. I am feistier than I ever imagined. I am definitely more stubborn than I should be. These are going to be the guns I'm packing for this party along with my spark peeps. At the end of this phase I will be turning 40. I hope that I have given myself the best 40th bday present, the present of a better life. Let the last of phase 1 beginning.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDORPHIN7FBS 8/12/2014 11:37AM

    I see a lot of fire (passion) in your writing. Keep it going.

It also has me thinking about real fires. In a survival setting it is important to keep a fire going even if it is just a small fire. You did not meet your goals, but you did well. You kept the fire going.

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MCJOYFUL 8/8/2014 11:07PM

    You can absolutely do it! And you didn't fail last month. Even though you didn't reach your goals, you were farther than you would have been if you hadn't tried. 4 lbs is nothing to sneeze at.

I have been a quitter in the past too so I get what you are saying. I am glad you aren't quitting, I would miss you! Plus days are going to be passing by one way or another so we might as well keep working towards who we want to be.

I know you can achieve your goals for this month! emoticon emoticon

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CRAZYGARDNER1 8/8/2014 9:07PM

  Take joy in that you had success, you exercised and you lost. It is baby steps on changing our attitudes and habits. You are traveling down the road of success there are always bumps. Keep it up!

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UKNOWITNOW 8/8/2014 8:43PM

  emoticon We're pulling for you. emoticon

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#100happydays - Days 46, 47 and 48

Saturday, August 02, 2014

Oh Happy Days...

I know I am so not being perfect on getting my happy days in. I could sit here and list my reasons but to be honest it takes a few minutes to do it and I have felt blah. That's not an excuse just the truth. This blah plus that I must have caught a cold from my rainy day 5K is kind of stinky. So because I do tend to get blahs from time to time I have to just own it and move forward. Still not exercising due to injury and cold. I am going to try to tonight when it is cooler outside. So here they are, drum roll please.

Day 46 - I am so glad to have McJoyful on my side and all the other people I am spark friends I made here. She has been a big cheerleader. She always encourages me and boosts me up. She is great. I see how encouraging she is to others. She makes such a huge difference in peoples lives. She even finished a 5K race her way with being injured. That is awesome. I hope she is getting as much good amazing loving support and friendship as she gets because she deserves it. I think that my journey would be a bit dimmer without her being a part of it. Thanks.

Day 47 - I am super happy an excited to see how my mindset about life is changing. Yes I have had some blahs but I haven't walked away. I look forward to when I can walk/jog again. I am more conscience of my decisions and options. I am looking into future ways to make my life more whole and full of healthy living. I can't wait until I can afford to make my own beauty/personal products again. I really liked my homemade deodorant. Super easy to make and it is so awesome with no aluminum which is in most normal non-natural brands of deodorant and is suspected to increase the risk of breast cancer and Alzheimers which some of my relatives have had. Anyway, I'm looking forward to it.

Day 48 - I am happy that today I took care of myself because I have a cold. Sometimes I let others dictate what I do and how I treat myself. Not everyone is on team Michelle and they don't have to be. But I am worthy of care too. My needs are important too. Balance is such an important thing for me to remember. I am glad I am less letting stuff get to me. That I am figuring out better what I should stress over and what not if that makes any sense.

Hugs everyone.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MCJOYFUL 8/2/2014 7:27PM

    Awwww! You are so sweet! I feel the same about you! I would not have been doing a 5k in any way if it weren't for you! And my journey is better because you are part of it! emoticon

And I think its great that you are taking care of yourself. You are right, you are worth it!

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3 Things to remember for future 5ks

Thursday, July 31, 2014

So I did my first 5K yesterday. It was an awesome feeling to complete a goal and it be on time. But with that experience came a few lessons that I need to put out there.

1.) emoticon Don't skip preparing for any of it. Fail to plan, Plan to Fail. I know I could have sunk that goal of under an hour if I would have worked harder. It was completely do able. But I didn't do all my training, stretching and work that I needed to put in to get there. If I want to move forward and do more racing activities I need to get serious and have a competitors mindset. As a friend pointed out to me I am an athlete and to be a better athlete I need to train right. Discipline is good for me. It gives me structure and adds to my confidence and self-esteem. Practice makes more perfect.

2.) emoticon No pain no gain. I kind of injured myself yesterday. See I didn't realize that walking in the rain would cause chaffing on my thighs. It wasn't until I changed after my race that I realized I was going to be in some pain for a few days. It also means I might not get to walk today and that is no bueno. From what I have read you are supposed to walk/run at least a little bit the day after a race to help your muscles. Because I walked maybe it won't hurt me but in the future it will when I get better at running. Also tip to remember I have bigger thighs then I would like so I need to put baby powder, a sports product made for preventing that or coconut oil on to prevent the chaffing. It stings so much and I think my thighs are swollen if you can believe that. I am completely embarrassed that one thing overlooked now has me walking around like I am saddle sore emoticon . It looks funny I'm sure. Definitely a lesson learned.

3.) emoticon Diet and proper sleep is very important. I was so wasted from pushing myself yesterday and probably not being fueled correctly that I crashed out and slept a lot yesterday. I need to make sure I sleep well the day before and find out how to fuel myself before a race. I know I need to carb up but I need to figure out what carbs and how much I should eat.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LILYPIXIE 7/31/2014 8:21PM

    Yay emoticon on first 5K that is an epic accomplishment in itself!!

Ouch on the chaffing that sounds very traumatizing. Even though it sounds messed up it's cool it at least happened so you can prevent it in the future. I'll have to take note of that as well because I want to be sure not to have to walk around like a zombie emoticon too.

Now that you have the first one down you can work on obliterating your time on the next go around which will be fun. You are emoticon for analyzing your first go around and seeing the extra potential that is there. It makes me excited to start doing 5K's.

You ROCK!,
Nicki emoticon

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SANDRA_E 7/31/2014 3:49PM

    emoticon Congratulations on running your first 5K. They will get easier!

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MELYROD18 7/31/2014 11:38AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MCJOYFUL 7/31/2014 11:37AM

    I am so proud of you! You did an awesome job yesterday and I know that your going to rock out your next one too and make your time goal! Ouch on the chaffing, that sounds painful. Take care of yourself. I hope it gets better soon.
You are doing so great and are such an inspiration to me! emoticon emoticon

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#100happydays - Day 45

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Happy 45!

I am so grateful and happy. Today, I competed in my first 5K race. The weather decided to give me some rain to walk too. But I did it and it was great. I feel so accomplished too. I did it in 1 hour, 4 minutes and 38 seconds. Okay so it isn't the under an hour I was hoping for but it is awesome still. When I first challenged myself with this I thought I would be doing good to be under 1 hour and 20 minutes. So all in all I beat what I started my challenge with and it gives me a BP to beat next time which will be in August and it will be a walk/jog 5K.

Thank you everyone who cheered me on and supported me. It meant the world. I am so excited to be doing this journey with you all. Hugs!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAPHRAEL 7/30/2014 4:34PM


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RUNNER4LIFE08 7/30/2014 2:06PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

I am smiling ear to ear for you! You did awesome for your first virtual 5k and you will beat that time next month! Keep on going strong!!!! You got this!!!!

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MCJOYFUL 7/30/2014 1:34PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Great job completing the 5K and that is still a great time! You rock!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WIFE49 7/30/2014 12:04PM


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