CHARLOTTESOMEXS   3,352
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Fitbit. Diet Coke. Happy.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

I bought myself two presents today. It's that time of year where I have a little bit of extra money to spend on myself. Last year I bought my recumbent bike..which I looove..and this year I pre-ordered a Fitbit Flex www.fitbit.com/flex and also ordered a Fitbit Aria scale www.fitbit.com/aria

I've been researching trackers like Fitbit for awhile now and was actually set to order a Fitbit One but then saw the Flex available for preorder. I'm a little nervous about ordering the first version of anything but I couldn't resist. Although I hate that wait til Spring - no set release date yet - I love the fact that it is a wristband that you can wear all of the time, including shower/swimming. I do think that I'll have to manually input my bike miles but I'm ok with that. I am excited because I think that having a tracker like this will help to motivate me big time - and I love that I can sync to this site. That actually was one of my deciding factors. I also am excited about being able to track my sleep quality. I have problems sleeping. I actually take an OTC sleeping pill every night otherwise I will lay awake for hours and wake up on and off all night. I do believe that my weight has something to do with it. I do want to stop taking the pill but that's another thing on my active list of things to do. The Flex tracks hours slept, has a silent wake alarm (nice!), and tracks steps taken, calories burned, distance traveled and active minutes.

The Aria scale should arrive on Wednesday. Another motivational tool for me. Plus I think it's really cool. emoticon It's a wi-fit smart scale that tracks weight, body fat % and BMI. I've read all sorts of things about how accurate BMI calculations are on scales like this and it is apparently not the most accurate way to do it. However for me, I really just want to see my progress over time. I do plan to weigh myself in the morning before eating, after a glass of water sans clothes. This is supposed to be the best way to get an accurate reading. Going to try to stick to once a week.

So totally unrelated to Fitbit but something exciting for me is that I have finally broken my diet Coke (caffeine) habit! Yay! I lived for my little kick of caffeine in the morning. I don't drink coffee - I drink Diet Coke! I would definitely drink Diet Coke instead of water. Not good. I'd like to stick to Diet Coke just when I go out occasionally, etc. Maybe I won't have it all. Who knows. All that I know is that I won't go back to having it in the house. I tried cold turkey and boy was I angry. I felt terrible too. It was tough. So I caved. However I also bought some caffeine free diet coke and started that after the diet coke was gone. I think that this helped. Once the caffeine free was gone I just didn't buy anymore. I wanted to. I didn't. Now all that I have to drink at home really is water. I love water with some fresh lemons sliced in - perfect.

So no more smoking. No more caffeine. NOW i need to work on my food issues.

I can do it!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHARLOTTESOMEXS 2/18/2013 7:49PM

  Hi everyone and thanks for the comments and information! I did read that unlike the One it doesn't count floors climbed and I think that you have to do more entering of info on the site or via an app as it doesn't have any physical controls. I've also read that you will be able to interchange bands so am hoping that we'd be able to purchase additional bands in different colors - they haven't announced that yet.
This comparison chart is somewhat helpful: http://www.fitbit.com/comparison/tr
ackers

I did read about the scale having issues for some people as far as getting it to sync and so I'm hoping that I am lucky and don't have the same problem. Figured I'd take a chance and worse case would have to return it.


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JUSTFOXXY 2/18/2013 8:50AM

    I also plan to get the fitbit flex. I am waiting until spring because I want it in orange. I have a polar f6 that I love but is in need of a new transmitter. It will be nice to track all the calories I burn along with the distance covered.

I can't wait to sport the new flexbit.

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MSDELISLE 2/17/2013 8:15PM

    emoticon I have the Fitbit One and love it. I thought about getting the Flex but I wear a watch on my left wrist and a RoadID bracelet on my right wrist so no room for anything else. Anxious to hear what everyone has to sy about it.

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CANDICE293 2/17/2013 8:09PM

    emoticon

Candice

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SUPERSAY 2/17/2013 8:07PM

    Good job kicking the diet coke. emoticon

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USMAWIFE 2/17/2013 7:41PM

    you might want to look at the information on the fitbit page about the flex it does not have a lot of options that are avaialable on the one

I had an aria scale and had to return it because like a few others, no matter what we did they would not sync properly good information on that also on the fb team page

if you want me to send you direct links to this information, send me an sp mail where i can send a link

I am a one and an ultra and love them both especially since they can't be seen when you are out

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Do I have an eating disorder?

Saturday, January 26, 2013

I've never thought of myself as a person with an eating disorder. I am not anorexic. I am not bulimic. I know that I am an emotional eater. I'm obese. I'm a chronic yo-yo dieter. I've had issues with food since I was a small child. However, I've never thought I fit into any sort of eating disorder classification. I almost hoped that I would somehow because maybe that meant that I could recover and that there was specific HELP out there for me. However, over the years, going to doctors and addressing my weight it has always been 'follow a low calorie diet. join weight watchers. stop eating certain foods. exercise.' One 'doctor' gave me phentermine. I wanted it. Should I have had it for a year? NO! I've been to counselors. No one really addressed WHY I'm fat - aside of course because I EAT TOO MUCH. Why do I eat too much though? Why do I emotionally eat? Why can't I control it? Why can't I get motivated to exercise? Why do I bounce back and forth, up and down? Do I have an eating disorder? Sometimes I eat even when I'm full. I know that I'm full. I eat anyways. Sometimes I buy something to eat that I really like and I'll think about it until I eat it. I'll think about it ALL NIGHT LONG. I don't want to eat it yet because I'm not hungry or I already ate. Why do I bring things into the house that will tempt me? I don't know. It's like a compulsion. I go through periods where I try. I will go shopping and I will ONLY get foods that I KNOW I SHOULD eat. I'll ignore that bad stuff that I want. I'll drive by the 20 fast food restaurants on the way home. I'll go home and eat something healthy. Sometimes.
Other times, I'll go home and then the time comes where I don't WANT the food in my house. I'll order out. I'll run to McDonalds. It's like I'm a zombie - I put all of the thoughts out of my head that tell me not to do it and I JUST DON'T CARE. Then of course afterwards...I feel terrible. Defeated. I've looked at options such as gastric bypass and lap band surgery. I just know though that I will be one of the unfortunate people who is stil overweight. Why? Because there are always ways to get around the things that the surgeries prevent IF YOU TRY. Why would I try? Because for some reason, there is something in my brain that wants to eat. Something is stopping me from getting to where I want to be. Something in my brain wants to stay fat. I need to fix it or NOTHING will work. I'm my own enemy.
So where do I start? I don't know. I just don't know. But I need to figure it out. I'm unhappy and unhealthy. I've been trying to get inspired here - and believe me - this is the best place to come for that! I've dabbled on the OA websites and listened in on an online meeting. I've signed up for Weight Watchers 5 times at least. Name a diet plan - I've done it. I've joined gyms. Had a personal trainer. Went to a nutritionist. Sometimes I lose weight. Sometimes I will stick to something for months or even a year. But when that 'thing' clicks in my brain, when I spiral out of control, I gain it ALL back and ADD SOME MORE. If I can't commit myself I can't make it work. So I need to figure it out.
So I called my Employee Assistance Program at work last and got referred to a counselor again. 8 free sessions. Went to the counselor. At the end of the session I was told that I am an emotional eater and that food is like a drug for me - I'm a food addict. I was told to go home and for next week to bring in 3 lists. Who am I? (Because I was also told that I don't know who I am anymore and I need to focus on that). The second list is a schedule where I am going to plan what and when I'm eating and when exercising, etc etc. The third is a list of how weight hinders me (because I do allow it to hinder me). I'm trying to be open minded and I am going to go through the process and see what happens. Like I told the counselor - I know WHAT to do, I just CAN'T seem to do it. I'm a little lost. If I'm a food addict, don't I need rehab? Am I expected to be mentally strong enough to break my addiction without some sort of intense therapy or something? If I'm a food addict, I've been one for most of my life. I personally have had experience with several loved ones with terrible drug and/or alcohol addictions. I know how serious it is. I know how hard it is to recover. I don't know. Just trying to figure it out!


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDSEYJ 1/26/2013 11:20PM

    Just a few questions: Are you vegetarian or vegan? Is this a new eating choice for you? Are you following any guidelines for your eating since starting this diet?

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I'm back

Monday, January 14, 2013

Wow. I can't believe that it's been a year (almost to the day!) since my last blog post.
I wish that I could come back and say that I've made progress towards my weight loss and health goals but I haven't. I've spent a year of being overwhelmed and confused about how to eat, exercise, what plan to follow and so on. I was so overwhelmed in fact that I just...did nothing.
I'd plan things, maybe start things and then just get confused or feel hopeless or lose motivation - you get the picture.
SO - I've stayed exactly the same. Same weight. Same energy level. Same emotional state. Same same same.
I want - I NEED to get better.
I need to do this for myself and for my kids. I'm holding myself back from doing a lot of things in life because of my weight. I have tried to accept myself at this weight - I can't. I'm not healthy. I'm not happy. I let it affect my every day life. I don't socialize, I don't travel, I don't participate in many things because of how I feel about my weight. I'm letting the years pass me by feeling this way. I NEED TO STOP THIS COURSE.

I don't want to look back at how I've failed - I want to learn from my mistakes and move on. I want to love myself. I want to take control of my health as much as I can. I can't continue to just let life pass me by.

I'm 38 years old. Sometimes I feel it's too late. I am going to learn to overcome those negative, hurtful thoughts and feelings.

I need a lot of work - but I want to be a work in progress and not just let another - yet another - year go by.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOTIREDOFTHIS 3/12/2013 9:09AM

  This sounds like me, except I just found Sparkpeople.......make time for yourself. I am and I think what happens is that we tend to put ourselves on the back burner, so we are meeting everyone elses needs......... and then a vicious cycle starts. Break it. You can do it!

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1MATHTEACH 1/17/2013 9:11PM

    When you look back at the last year, don't look at it as how you may or may not have failed. Look at it as how much you've learned about what does and doesn't work. Use your experiences to make this time around better!

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DROPPING_20 1/14/2013 3:03PM

  It was almost as if you wrote the words from inside my head. I too have started and stopped throughout the year and always seem to have some excuse why I can't commit myself. I know it's hard with kids to give some time to you, but you are deserve the same attention that you put towards the kids. I wish you the best of luck this time around and am here for support.

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KJELLYBEAN15 1/14/2013 2:53PM

    Well, looks like you took one forward step. You came back. Now get back to work. Take your time and re-learn what you need to. Participate when/how you can. Don't try doing it alone. We are here for you whenever you need.

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LYNNJ1976 1/14/2013 2:49PM

    emoticon

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today was tough

Friday, January 13, 2012

Sooooo...today was a bad day, especially food wise. I ate out all day because I was gone all day running around and wasn't prepared. I totally splurged and even though I did not eat a lot of food what I ate was terrible. I can't make excuses. Normally when this happens I'll do in a downward food spiral - figure I messed it all up so what's the point. This time - I will learn my lesson and move on. Tomorrow is another day. The truth is, I feel crappy today. My mood and my energy level are totally 'off' today from how I ate. I want to feel good....so tomorrow I will be back on track. Promise to myself. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BE-THE-CHANGE 1/13/2012 8:36PM

    Good for you - that is progress!
emoticon

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Day 2

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

So yesterday went well - I did take PGX but only 1 with before lunch and one before dinner. It did make me feel full. I stayed on track although at night before bed the munchies hit me big time! The old me would've been lurking in the cabinets and fridge for a bedtime snack but the new me brushed my teeth and called it a night.
Very busy with work today so no time to write much more except that today was hard. Work was tough. I was emotional. That means I want to eat - I feel like I NEED to eat. Came very close to just saying 'forget it' and getting a big mac. I just am tired of failing myself over and over and so I talked myself out of it. Had an extra snack of baked goldfish crackers - which is better than the big mac but still put me a little over my calorie goal. Just barely. I'll do better tomorrow. It's funny because today I definitely noticed that I eat for many reasons other than because I'm hungry. It's like an addiction - like when I quit smoking. I wanted a cigarette most when I was doing things that I used to do while smoking. Food is like that for me now. Gotta keep moving forward! One day at a time!!! emoticon

  


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