And the verdict is....

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

182.5 today. I weighed 209.4lbs on July 4th of this year. I'm 27lbs down and I can't believe it. I'm so happy I could cry!!! I'm really doing it. I really am. I'm becoming a new person without gimmicks, diets, starvation, crazy flushes, or anything artificial. Just purely watching what crosses my lips and moving my body. The weight has been coming off extra slow these days, but surprisingly I've been content with that. I can walk up flights of stairs and only feel my legs warm up instead of my entire body sweating as I gasp for air. It's not a big deal to park as close to the entrance anymore. I can purchase clothing at any store. I'm no longer hesitant to go out when invited. I can wear close-fitting clothing without feeling like a sausage wrapped too tight. I can walk with my head level rather than watching the ground. I know that my concern with my appearance is just my pride shining through. I can exercise. I can run. I can do chest compressions effectively on any pt who needs it without getting overly winded. I can look at myself in the mirror in just my undies and smile. I can see my curves being unmasked. I can see my muscles flex when I move. I can see my stomach getting smaller. I can see how people approach me more easily. I can see a happier person who loves themselves enough not to poison their body. I can see ME when I haven't for such a long time. And I see all of you sweating it out with me so you can see yourselves. Overwhelmed and overjoyed. Chris, thanks for creating Sparkpeople. My life will never be the same.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DDOORN 1/6/2012 9:53AM

AWESOME rewards for AWESOME efforts! Check out my latest blog for the science behind the challenges for obese / morbidly obese to lose AND MAINTAIN that loss...I found it helpful toward re-dedicating myself to such efforts. Don Report Inappropriate Comment

NORAB52GOOD 12/31/2011 10:07AM

Only another physcian could appreciate how important it is to be able to do sustained effective chest compressions! So let me just say Happy New Year!!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

GRACEISENUF 12/29/2011 12:29AM

I am so very happy for you spark friend! I can't wait to reach the 180's and thank you so very much for visiting my page today. I am so proud of you DOC! Report Inappropriate Comment

Met My Wii Fit Goal! And the New Years Challenge is on!

Sunday, December 04, 2011

I was so worried to get on the scale, because the scheduling changes this week mean much less sleep for me, and I haven't been tracking my food at all. I was actually up by 3 lbs at the start of this week, but managed to get a net loss of 0.2lbs by weigh in day. Whew! And I met my Wii Fit goal, which was the cherry on top, so now I've set a new goal on the Wii, to get to 163 lbs within 6 months. I definitely think I can do it. My new push will be to get into the 170s by New Years Day. Yay me!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEVIECAT4 12/8/2011 12:48PM

Keep on keeping on!!! I'm rooting for you!! Report Inappropriate Comment

DDOORN 12/4/2011 9:12PM

Woo hoo! You are on your way! :-) Don Report Inappropriate Comment

GRACEISENUF 12/4/2011 8:44PM

I know you can! Report Inappropriate Comment

The Downside of Being a Doctor

Monday, November 28, 2011

1. Seeing a pt you were making jokes with yesterday, now dying.
2. Seeing the suffering of the sick.
3. Witnessing the futile hopes of the families.
4. Having to tell those families that even in the ICU, there's nothing else we can do.
5. Seeing 'til death do us part' actually happen.
6. Being helpless to stop the inevitable.
7. Performing my last physical exam and pronouncing my patient dead.

These things have repeated themselves for me more times than I would like in the past month. I remember every face and every tear. Oh, I forgot one:

8. Other people thinking that the loss of human life is something I have gotten used to. I haven't.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRACEISENUF 12/4/2011 8:46PM

It must be so hard. I know it was tough being a cop and having to tell family members a loved one had died but you see it on a much larger scale than I did. Report Inappropriate Comment

NORAB52GOOD 12/4/2011 9:08AM

Report Inappropriate Comment

LMLOPEZ 12/1/2011 2:07PM

It is the downside for us but it is the comfort we offer to the families of those we care for. Be grateful that you are priveleged to help those in need and may you never become jaded to the despair of those we are assisting. Families will remember you and be glad you chose to help. :( Report Inappropriate Comment

DDOORN 12/1/2011 1:58PM

May the "caring" part of your practice continue and flourish! Don Report Inappropriate Comment

MNCYCLIST 11/28/2011 11:37AM

Thanks for sharing this, and thanks for doing what you do. Report Inappropriate Comment

STEVIECAT4 11/28/2011 9:24AM

You are such a beautiful person. This brought a tear to my heart and made me think of my own doctors. We take your profession for granted sometimes and this made me think of all the times I've gotten a compassionate hug from my doctor when something terrible happened to my little son and the heart felt talks I've had with my cardiologist. I've always felt that I wouldn't change either of these doctors for the world, but after reading your blog, I'd make that exception to change to you. You are someone with a heart and a soul and I remember how romantic you are from when you got engaged and married. It all ties in together. You are a very very special person and I'm glad to know you. Report Inappropriate Comment

My Jacket Closes!!! It really does!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Today I weighed in at 185.8, which is 0.4 lbs away from my Wii Fit goal! But today something happened that I didn't expect. I felt a little chilly so I pulled my white coat closed. And then I realized, IT CAN CLOSE!!!!! Now I always wear it open, but when I first got it, I was very aware of how the other doctors' coats could close and how mine couldn't. Well starting today, it can close!!!!! Sooooo happy.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEVIECAT4 11/28/2011 9:25AM

Report Inappropriate Comment

AMANDA_A_725 11/26/2011 4:11PM

That's awesome! That feeling (IMO) is better than the numbers on the scale! Report Inappropriate Comment

NORAB52GOOD 11/26/2011 11:26AM

LOVE IT!!!! I have always envied those doctors who can completely BUTTON their coats closed. Especially if the coat then lies flat against them and it doesn't appear to be straining to pop every last button free to fly across the room like small plastic weapons! I have NEVER been able to do that. Good for you gal!!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

JOAN_HEO 11/26/2011 7:11AM

Isn't that just the best feeling ever???? Congratulations!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

GETSTRONGRRR 11/26/2011 7:11AM

Con grats and good on you.....give out a victory cry! Report Inappropriate Comment

Having Success, but Feeling Blasé and Awkward. Anyone Understand?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

My husband is loving the ever shrinking me, but it feels a bit weird I guess. I know I'm getting smaller because my clothes are fitting differently and the scale is moving too. I'm at the point where I want to get new clothes, but I'm afraid I won't really be into the next size just yet. So I'm holding off for now. Some people have noticed and I'm feeling a bit exposed. Some people are surprised I want/need to lose so much weight which is kinda embarrassing. I'm still moving though and I'm still making the difficult choices each mealtime. This time is funny I guess, where I'm not in a hooray kind of mood, content with my success so far, and at the same time not wanting to be discouraged if my losses don't translate into a whole clothing size change which may sabotage my motivation. In an odd way, I'm more critical of my body now than 20lbs ago. Maybe it's because I'm taking more pride in my appearance? On this weight loss journey I'm starting to feel like the awkward preteen who isn't quite sure where they fit in. :-/

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4A-HEALTHY-BMI 11/22/2011 9:26AM

What he said. Seriously, Don hit all the points I would have, and probably said them better than I would have. This takes time. It *is* a weird transformation mentally as well as physically. Report Inappropriate Comment

DDOORN 11/22/2011 9:23AM

It IS a whole new world and it takes time for our psychology to catch up with our bodies. Patience...it will come! I've noticed, for instance, how little I use touch during my day to day interactions...yet I really do crave it, but held back before. Now I'm thinking I want to change that about myself. Of course wanting to and actually DOING it are two different things! Our relationship to our bodies change during this transformation we are making for ourselves. Take your time, baby steps apply here as everywhere else! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and keep savoring all the calorie-free delights the world has to offer! :-) Don Report Inappropriate Comment