Tuesday, June 12, 2012
I probably won't blog every day as sometimes it can get repetitive. However, if I have a "Yay" moment or if I need some support, that's most likely when I will blog. I just find it more interesting this way! :)
So, yesterday, I decided to change my life. I've had this moment before, but it never really stuck. I'm hoping I can make it "stick" this time. Anyways, yesterday was my "Day One", and it wasn't too bad.
Exercise: I got in a 41-minute walk that morning, and in the afternoon, I did about 28-minutes of beginners Pilates.
- My "Yay" moment: By the time I got home, I wasn't feeling like doing Pilates. I started out with a different video, but I was quickly discouraged when I felt too big to complete the moves. I got mad at both the video and myself. I can't tell you the amount of times I felt like quitting. It was rough. Instead of quitting, I decided to pick a beginner's video. While I was cursing at this one too (haha), I made it through. I did the best I could. I felt better that I had accomplished it. So woo hoo!
Water: I got in my eight cups. :D
Food: I did the best I could. I did not fix dinner, so I wasn't sure about the amount of calories, but I ate until I was full.
- My "Yay" Moment: After being stressed yesterday, part of me wanted to sabotage what I had did. I wanted soda, cookies, etc. However, I managed to say no. It was difficult, but I did it. I went to bed proud of myself. :)
This morning, I was feeling pretty tired, and my body is sore. Any suggestions on how to get energy?
Thursday, June 07, 2012
(Sorry for these being turned sideways. My computer wouldn't let me turn them.)
This is the real me.
I lack energy.
I'm not pregnant although I guess I know why the lady in Zumba asked.
I feel huge.
Honestly, I think I am starting to get depressed.
A few nights ago, I told my boyfriend I wanted to get healthy. I was serious. I told him that I felt comfortable with my body how it is. Today is a different story. After putting on the shirt, I realized just how big I was. After downing cans of Pepsi like no one's business, I realized how uncomfortable I am. I felt so uncomfortable that I could barely stand up for 20-30 minutes. I felt like I was going to be sick.
Sitting here, I'm in tears because I am ashamed of myself. I can't believe I allowed myself to hurt my body this way. I'm so unhealthy, and I hate that.
Yesterday, I guess I was still in naive state of mind, and I let down my guard. I finally met my boyfriend's coworkers. Now that I think back to it, I am so embarrassed. I feel like I embarrassed him although he swears up and down that I always look gorgeous, but I don't believe him. I don't feel gorgeous. I don't feel sexy.
I just feel fat. I feel ugly.
The more I look at these photos, the more I am questioning why I even leave the house.
I'm sorry for the crappy blog. My emotions just seem all over the place today.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Today, I have read a few people's blogs; each one has dealt with fear of losing weight and being successful. After reading these, I feel this might apply to me as well.
I have been "dieting" for several years (on and off), and only until I found Spark People did I realize that it wasn't a diet but a life change. I liked the idea. I had this image of myself - fit, in shape, healthy, water drinker were all items that described my ideal future self. So, in August to September of 2011, I worked out hard, and I ate healthy. I only lose six pounds. I was frustrated, defeated, and exhausted. Since then, I have never fully regained my motivation to lose weight.
I think the reason I "give up" is a mix between a few things - energy, others, and self-sabotage.
1. Energy - So, I hear Coach Nicole and others say "exercise gives you energy!", but I have never felt that way. After a workout, I am worn out, and usually the next morning, I am still worn out even with a good night's rest. How long does it take before you start noticing the energy? Does anyone else have an issue with this?
2. Others - Earlier in the blog, I said that my boyfriend super sizes everything. When I was at a lower weight, I didn't care about calories. I never thought that I would gain weight, so I super sized mine too! Little did I know that it would definitely catch up with me. Even to this day, I struggle with eating out. I struggle with portions. I hate calorie counting because it's daunting (that's one of the reasons I liked the idea of Weight Watcher's because you add up numbers - it seemed easy). When I am trying to be healthy, it's difficult because there is cookies, ice cream, soda, chips, etc, and he eats a lot. It's hard to deal with. (I know I have talked about this before, so sorry for the repetition!)
3. Self-Sabotage - I usually self-sabotage on the weekends or when I have hit four pounds. For some reason, I hit four pounds, and I fall apart. Sometimes, when I weigh myself, if the scale shows a gain, I stop trying. I get nervous at the gym when I do ST from Spark People that doesn't involve equipment because everyone else is using the machines. I know what I need to do to succeed, but I'm scared to keep going after four pounds.
All three of these play a major part in why I am not successful at losing weight. The problem is that I can control all three of these. I can make myself exercise when I am tired even if it's just for 20 minutes. I can say no to the cookies, chips, ice cream, and soda at home. I am push myself when the scale shows a gain. I can, but I don't. A lot of this is excuses, and I need to push past these excuses/fears, but how do you do that? I know it sounds stupid, but for some reason, I can't get through.
Have any of you been in the same position? How did you push past these barriers?
Thank you, in advance, for your comments.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
I have recently started watching the Dr. Oz show. Before I started watching, the show had a challenge called "Transformation Nation". This program collaborated with Weight Watchers to help people lose weight. I watched the finale to the program, and I was in awe. All of these women (and a few men!) had lost 30, even 100 lbs! I was truly inspired.
The reason I post this blog is because I am interested in doing Weight Watchers. I like the idea of the meetings because support is key. To be honest, my Spark Friends are about all the support I have. I need more support. Maybe I can even find new friends.
My biggest concern is that I will have to pay for both Weight Watchers and a gym because sometimes, outside activities aren't feasible. Money is tight, but if it's worth it, then I can find a way to make it work.
So, my question to you: do you use Weight Watchers? If so, are you successful? Are the meetings informative?
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
I am on Day Two of getting back to my healthy life journey. Monday and Tuesday were great! I ate wonderfully, and I got in some exercise (cardio & strength training). Every morning, I got back to my food and fitness trackers to reflect on the previous day. Here's a quick rundown:
Hits (In Range):
- Fruits and Vegetables
Misses (Under Range):
So I ask what is a good way to get these four in? I know I need them, but I've tried switching things around to no avail. I am thinking about taking a multi-vitamin; however, I know some experts have varying opinions. So, what do you do?
Lastly, I set a small PR yesterday with the C25K. I started with Week 1, Day 1 yesterday which consists of five minute warm up/cool down, 60 seconds running, and 90 seconds walking for a total of 30 minutes. Usually, when walking, I stay at a 3.8 mph pace, and when I run, I stay at a 5.4 mph pace. Yesterday, I worked my way up to 6mph pace for several sets! I am so happy! It was exhausting, but it was well worth it!
Thanks in advance for your encouragement and your answers to the question above. Hope every one has a great day!
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