Monday, April 23, 2012
So, as some of you have noticed, I haven't been on Spark in about a week. I felt bad about it because one of my jobs as a friend is to be there for each and every Spark friend I have because honestly, I think the world of you all, and each of you has been there for me when I needed you the most. For that, I am so very grateful. So, I am sorry for the lapse of friendship on my part last week.
Last week was a bit hectic. My boyfriend's grandfather came into town on Thursday for a visit. So, last week was my cleaning time. Although I was going to just clean up enough for him, I ended up spring cleaning - dusting, vacuuming under things, throwing/donating things we don't use. The apartment looks great, and honestly, I feel much better about the place. I love a clean home.
Not only was I rushing to get the cleaning done, but I also hit a wall. A "healthy living" wall. Here's what I mean:
- Phase 1: I decide I am ready to change. I research. I plan out food. I plan out my exercise schedule. I'm excited. Lots of motivation. I'm on Spark People like 3-4 hours a day. Woo hoo!
- Phase 2: About a month into it, I'm tired. I'm still motivated, but it's not like phase 1. I'm missing morning workouts because I am exhausted. I think "hey, I missed my morning workout, maybe I will try to do something in the evening." Sometimes, life happens, and it's not possible. Sometimes, I am just lazy.
- Phase 3: I try to reestablish my motivation by redoing eating and exercise plans. It might work for a week or two.
- Phase 4: I give up. I'm back to being lazy and eating crappy.
Basically, I'm at Stage 4.
I hate this because deep down, I know I want this. I want to lose weight. I want to be healthy. I want energy. I want to choose smaller portions and healthy items without a second glance. I want to be a runner. I want to make exercise a daily part of my life.
My problem is that my motivation is gone. I've reduced the above to simply a dream. This is what I go through every time I attempt to get healthier. I don't have much of a tangible support system, so that doesn't help. I get discouraged when after being dedicated, I don't see or feel much of a change. I'm still bloated even though I watch my salt. My pants are tight. I hate how I look in the mirror. My energy level remains low.
I'm sorry for whining/complaining. It's just this is where I'm at. This is why I truly haven't been on because I am ashamed I am giving up. It's just hard. Maybe I'm not fit for it.
Again, I am thankful for those of you who have stuck by me the last few months. I truly appreciate it.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Last night was my "gym" night. I am there every Monday from 5-7pm for Body Pump and Zumba. I love these two classes. However, yesterday, I wasn't feeling them, but I ended up going.
Body Pump was great. We actually had a different instructor than usual since our normal instructor was on vacation. (Lucky!) Anyways, I ended up still getting a great workout. So, I was definitely glad I went.
By Zumba, I am pretty tired from Body Pump, but I end up putting everything I have into it anyways. (Plus, this is the only night they do Zumba.) I love the instructor. I love the class. Usually, it's just this girl and I. Occasionally, we have others who decide to try it. Last night was one of those nights that a new person joined us.
Let's just say this wasn't my best class. The first two songs I kept messing up even though we do them almost every week. I just couldn't focus for some reason. However, once I focused, I did much better.
And then it happened.
There was a break between songs for us to get water. I got mine, and I got back in my spot. The new lady walks over to me and says "Is your baby kicking?" It took a few seconds for me to realize what she meant. I said "I'm not pregnant", and I politely laughed it off. I tried not to show it, but I was devastated. I wasn't mad at her because she did not know, but I am ashamed at myself for letting me get to this point. When I was changing into my workout clothes before my classes, I was not excited about my belly looking so huge, so her comment only made things worse (Again, I don't blame her.).
Honestly, I don't know how to feel right now. I don't want to give up because I have pushed myself since February. However, even though I have pushed myself since then, I still don't look like I'm losing anything, and I've only lost two pounds. It's just tough.
What are your thoughts?
Monday, March 26, 2012
Hey everyone. Sorry for not being on this weekend. I've been in Atlanta since Thursday. Anyways, here's how the weekend went:
Friday morning: I got in a run at the hotel! This was such a victory for me because I usually just say "forget it" when I'm out of town, but I was determined!
My food wasn't terrible this weekend, but it also wasn't the best. I've learned a lesson though: Don't wait too long to eat. Friday was my sister-in-law's graduation. It was also the morning I worked out. I had a protein bar for breakfast (10am ish), and I didn't eat until 4-5 pm. I had the worst headache, and I was starving. I ended up eating two plates: 2 handfuls of chips, handful of jellybeans, a handful of vegetables, and two tiny sandwiches. It could have been worse, but I learned a lesson. Also, I was pretty good about stopping when I felt full.
I only gained about .4 pounds from this weekend, and to me, that's a victory in itself!
I did pretty good in regards to my two-week challenge, and I think I am going to do it again; however, I hope this time, I lose a little weight.
I think I am going to switch up my foods as I am getting bored with them, and I think I might even switch up my workout routine a bit. So, let the two-week challenge begin!
Lastly, I am asking my fellow Sparkfriends if they could do me a favor. I'm going through a pretty rough time in regards to a relationship, and I'm asking that, if you believe in a higher power, please just say a little prayer that the right path that I need to take be illuminated. I'm having a hard time doing what I probably need to do. I know it sounds very generic, but I ask that you please just send good vibes, prayers, etc.
Monday, March 19, 2012
In the food department, I didn't do so well. My food choices weren't the best. However, I will say that I ate until I was full, and I packed up the rest of the meal. Also, on Saturday night, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted a appetizer, and I said no! I can't even believe it! We always get appetizers, but I stood my ground, and I was successful! So, I feel like I wasn't completely a failure at food this weekend.
We won't even talk about the drinks this weekend. I don't drink beer, but I sure did drink way too many martinis and shots on both Friday and Saturday night. However, my boyfriend I hung out with friends all weekend, and it was nice to have a little fun. So, I don't really regret it. Plus, my boyfriend and I made a pact that we have to wait a month or so to go all out again. Ha.
In the fitness department, Saturday was great. I walked the parade for about 1.5 hours, and I was constantly busy all day. I did lots of walking like I wanted to! However, Sunday, I was exhausted (and hungover slightly... oops!..) that we rested. I took a 3-hour nap. Ha. I didn't get my run in, but I am planning on adding another run this week to catch up.
This weekend, I will be going out of town (Thursday night-Saturday). I was planning on bringing snacks because I currently eat 2-3 snacks a day. I'm not really sure what to bring. I would like low-calorie, high-protein snacks if I could. What inexpensive snacks do you eat?
A couple of things I might bring:
- 100 calorie pack of almonds.
- Luna Bars.
Any suggestions are great.
P.S. I would like to stay away from refrigerated snacks as I don't know how much I will be in the hotel. I am planning on keeping some of the snacks in my purse.
Friday, March 16, 2012
So, today is Day 5 of my two week challenge, and to be honest, I feel like I am doing pretty well.
My goals for the two week challenge:
1. Exercise every day that I had scheduled (Biggest goal).
2. Try to get at least seven hours of sleep (2nd biggest).
3. Eat the best I can (last goal).
I guess this challenge is more of an attempt to get into an exercise routine. I've done well all week. I did 60 minutes of Zumba on Monday, C25K (W1D1) on Tuesday, and ST/C25K (W1D2) on Thursday. Wednesday was my rest day, but I ended up getting in a 30 minute walk at work. So, it's going pretty well.
However, this morning, I was supposed to get up at 5am to go to Body Flow (Tai Chi/Pilates/Yoga class). When the alarm went off, I just couldn't get up. I had only had about five hours of sleep (my fault since I chose to stay at my Mom's until 11:00pm). My body was craving sleep, so I decided to forgo the class. It may have been a good thing as I'm exhausted still. I have no energy at all. So, even though I didn't want to, I am thinking that today's my true rest day since Wednesday wasn't really one. I feel bad for missing the class, but what do you do when you have no energy?
So, I'm pretty excited that I have managed to do well this past week. I'm pretty excited about this weekend as I will be getting lots of exercise in! (I've already told my boyfriend that I want to be active as much as possible this weekend.) So, tomorrow morning, I am walking in a parade with one of the museums in town. Afterwards, my boyfriend and I are walking around at a car show and then later, we will be walking on Ocean Blvd. for the St. Patrick's Day festivities. Lastly, Sunday, I am planning my C25K (W1D3) and maybe I will hand-wash my car. So, I'm pretty excited just to be busy and active. My goal is to eat the best I can as well. I hope I can do it!
So, back to the no energy portion of the blog, what do you do when you have no energy? I hate feeling exhausted like this. I miss my energy!
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
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