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CHANGINGHORSES's Recent Blog Entries

The story of Smug and Inner Cheerleaders

Sunday, June 05, 2011

First off, I want to thank "my inner cheerleaders" for all their support when I don't think I can go on. They are always there for me yelling and cheering for me to overcome my negativity and doubts.

Now this is smug. Smug is going out on a hot and humid day and walking 1.5 mile, running 1.5 mile and then riding bike for 6 miles. "Oh yes", I tell myself. "Dee you are awesome!"

I am flying up the trail on my bike going faster and faster. I am feeling my body working and my heart pumping. I am sweating like crazy and loving it. My Inner Cheerleaders are saying "You go girl!" Who else do you know that can do this kind of work out in this weather and feel good about it? "No one, they couldn't catch me if they tried." Yeah, "No one can catch me! That's right, I said no one."

"Coming up on your left."

What??? Huh, what where did that voice come from? I don't remember any male cheerleaders on my team.

"Don't Panic" he says.

What? OMG, someone IS passing me! How'd this happen? Darn, just when I thinking I was "all that".

Smug knocked me back a peg and forced me to try and go faster to keep up with that guy. I couldn't but I tried.

I still feel good about my workout that day, but I thought that his timing was just too funny.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUZWARNR 6/6/2011 7:25AM

    I love your positive motivation. You gotta believe in yourself in order to achieve great things. Negative thoughts get you nowhere. Glad you enjoyed your bike ride. You did great! :)

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ELISADENK 6/5/2011 3:26PM

    emoticon

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KARENE10 6/5/2011 10:11AM

    Congrats on getting out there in this hot and humid weather! emoticon emoticon

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LNSYLVSDOGS 6/5/2011 9:30AM

    emoticon Love it!

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TEDDYBABE 6/5/2011 9:03AM

    Oh how true this is. Kudos to you. It's hard to find the rah rah motivation with our summer weather!

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Sick and tired, need R&R.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Been sick and tired. I have been battling insomnia for a couple of weeks and I guess as a result of that I have gotten sick. What a way to spend a three day weekend. emoticon

However, as a result of being sick, I have slept more this weekend then I have in the previous week. Although I am sick, I am starting to feel at least a little rested. I believe that I need to make some changes in my life at this point. I have been under a lot of stress for the past few years and I thought that I was handling it all very well and in healthy ways. I guess the fact is, that it really has all caught up with me and I need to get back to basics here and keep it simple.

There are some things that I know will help me to reduce the stress and get back to a good place. I am about to start. I need to accept that I have limitations and that some days I will just have to "do less". That does not mean that I am a failure or that I am a lazy person, it means that I am human and as a human I have limits. Live with it. Accept it and take care of my humanness. It's time to focus on what I really need right here and right now. In this moment and this minute.

To all of you who have been supportive in the past, "Thank You". I know that there is much support here at Spark and I am opening my heart and mind to all I can get right now.

Love you all!
:Dee

emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FREECLOUD 5/30/2011 11:51AM

    Stress is so destructive :( It's great that you're reevaluating and putting a new plan into play. So many people just let stress take over their life and slowly chip away at who they are. You have the strength to keep fighting - good for you!

I've found that the best stress fighter is balance through healthy choices and exercise. I didn't start running to lose weight but to fight the stress demons. I'm still ahead and you will be too!

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KIWIEVIE 5/30/2011 10:06AM

    I have been sick and had injuries in the the last month.
And just when I was back on track... Knocked down again.
Your body is telling you slow down and rest.
Take the time for you.
Find ways to relax the stress away.
You will be alright in the end.
Take care.
Evie emoticon

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Believe in Miracles.....believe in YOU!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

My world came to a crashing halt on April 10, 2009. "Dee, John's been in an accident and flown to the hospital." OMG! "We'll get the Chaplin for you" OMG! "Both legs broke in numerous places, torn intestines, torn bladder, both hips broke, pubic bone bookended, lumbar fractures, punctured lungs, life support, last rites." OMG! "If he makes it through the next 72 hours, he has a chance." OMG! "To be honest with you Ma'am, we thought he was gone when he came in the door." OMG!

Is he going to make it? Will he walk again? OMG! What do I do? (You would be amazed at the strength that is given to you in times like this. He did make it and he did walk again.)

How traumatic of an experience to go through this with my only child. It was a head-on collision and the woman that hit him passed at the scene. It has been a long hard road during his recovery.

The reason that I write this is because to we "Believe in Miracles". We have lived it. Today is our most valuable gift and to be alive to share it with those we love is another gift.


The recovery road gave us a lot of gifts also that you would not realize until you have traveled it. Simple things began to matter like never before. All along the way miracles continued to happen and the healing has been amazing both physically and spiritually.

John was a newbie runner, an avid hiker and generally very active and in good health before the accident. We wondered how his life was going to be permanently changed due to his injuries. We had favorite hike that we liked to do in the spring and we were planning on it just a few weeks after his accident. Needless to say, it did not happen. We did not know if it would ever happen again. It is a 9 1/2 mile RT hike to the top of the mountain that is the best view in our county.

Yesterday, two long hard years later, we made the climb! The rock in the photo above is a rock that I found at the site of the accident. I painted it and carried it to the top to put on a huge cairn that is there.

We made it again! Yahoo, tears of joy! Although my son worked hard to get his body back to being able to do it again, he simply says "I always believed that I could and would do it again."

My son taught me a great lesson in this trying time, "Believe in Yourself".
Sometimes that is the hardest obstacle to get around. When we think that we can't, we must think again. Do not doom yourself by thinking you cannot. The battle is half-way won when you believe you can.

We made it back to the top! I am full of gratitude and joy!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DRB13_1 4/14/2011 11:56PM

    Blessings to your entire family! emoticon

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CYNTHIALEE45 4/14/2011 7:24PM

    Beautiful--I'm so happy for the two of you. Thank you for sharing, and here's to many, many more hikes. emoticon

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HOTRODSANDY 4/10/2011 11:24PM

    Wow, what a wonderful miracle. Thanks for sharing!

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BRANDTSGIRL 4/10/2011 10:07PM

    Thanks for this & miracles to happen every day!

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FITMAY 4/10/2011 9:33PM

    What a great blog!

Congratulations on such a blessed journey! You are at the top again! My heart rejoices for you both!

I believe in miracles! and I loved your rock! I'm going to find one for myself and put it on my little altar...

Love and prayers,
May

Comment edited on: 4/10/2011 9:34:25 PM

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ALLISONSMOM918 4/10/2011 8:10PM

    Wow, that is totally amazing!!! I feel so blessed just to have read your story. It is true, miracles happen.

Thank you for your blog! emoticon

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SROBERTS82 4/10/2011 8:03PM

    What a touching story! I hope you two make that hike together for many years to come!

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SUZWARNR 4/10/2011 6:12PM

    Wow, I'm so incredibly happy for you and your son. What an awesome journey to the top of that mountain, knowing that it means so much more now. What an amazing comeback he made. He truly is the meaning of the word miracle.

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FREECLOUD 4/10/2011 6:06PM

    What a wonderful day that must have been for John! I can only imagine the journey he went through to get there. You're an awesome role model - glad you two got to do this together. Thanks so much for sharing this!

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ELISADENK 4/10/2011 6:00PM

    Wow! Thanks for sharing! and... AMEN!!!

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TEDDYBABE 4/10/2011 3:54PM

    Oh Dee, what a beautiful blog. Your and John are both truly amazing. To conquer such trauma and continue to find the beauty in life. You are my hero! John, you are ONE amazing guy! Hugs to you both! Congratulations on your miracle hike!

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emotions.....Running high???

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Today I ran 4.5 miles with a mile walk on each end to make it 6.5 total. It felt great!

I had the opposite experience compared to what I have been having. Normally I feel like I am struggling to make it through my predetermined time/mileage and I keep having to push myself to keep going. I must give myself pep talks to finish.

Today was a whole different experience with a full range of emotions. I had my predetermined goal but I told myself I was going to just go with the flow and not push myself. If I wanted to stop and walk then I would, no pressure. Started out with a fast paced walk and felt good.

Started the running part and just began to get overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts. Feelings ranging from despair to exhilaration. From sadness to incredible happiness. I was fine all day before the run but something happened out there today. I kept telling myself I'll walk when I get to the next pole or crossroad and when I got there I would ask "Why do you need to walk? Breathing is good. Legs feel fine. Okay. I'll wait longer and then walk." Ended up running 4.5 miles and forced myself to walk the last mile.

I don't know how this happened to me. Running chose me, I didn't choose it. It just took over my body one day while I was walking. I feel more and more like running is a spiritual journey for me. The challenge of it is not anything that I ever thought I would undertake, I never thought I had it in me. I am learning a lot about myself these days and I think that running is just "taking me to another plane".

Sometimes I think it's like an out of body experience, my mind says "this is not my body". Where did I go? Where's the insecure shy fat girl at? SHE DON"T LIVE HERE ANYMORE!

What a freaking run!?!?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPEEDYDOG 3/31/2011 6:58AM

    Very nice! I wonder if that could be runner's high? Run on!

Bruce

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TEDDYBABE 3/26/2011 9:36PM

    Love this! Isn't it awesome. I totally know what you are talking about. Taking the pressure off and just going with your body. Its euphoric. I read someones blog months ago and she was having troubles finishing her run. Then she asked herself, "can you still breathe, ..yes, are your legs falling off or cramping...no, then keep running. I go to that mentally so many times. It's amazing how mental running is and YES I agree with you a spiritual experience also. So happy for ya! Hugs!

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FREECLOUD 3/26/2011 9:35PM

    I don't have much to say because you just very artfully described runs that I have occasionally. Spiritual runs - most definitely. These are the runs that make me "addicted." After one of these, I can't wait to hit the road again...because it's all about me and that's okay.

Glad to hear you're experiencing such an amazing side effect. Keep posting!

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Is it ever going to get easier, why is this so hard????

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I have been running steady for 6 weeks now and I see a little improvement but I was struggling tonight and I wonder if it will ever get easier? I ran a 5k in 29:58 and although I feel that is okay, I want to be faster and I want it now!

I don't know how to pick up my pace. My legs feel like lead and I really have to force myself to finish my run some days. I feel good/relieved when it is over. I feel like I have committed myself to this and damn it I have to prove that I can do it. How and when I will "have that proof" is beyond me. At what point will I be satisfied? I guess I just want to be faster and feel like it is not as much effort.

I guess I should just be quiet and be grateful that I can do what I can do. Some people wish they could be as active as I am, whether it be running or hiking. Well, this isn't about "some people", it's about me and what I want to be able to do. I have never challenged myself so much as I do with my running. Maybe that is what this all about, not the speed or the distance or the time. Maybe it's about the challenge and the self-discipline that it takes to accomplish these runs. It really IS an effort to keep going. It would be easier to give up and walk, but that is not what I am about today.

Cheers to all of us who are doing something about our health and fitness! We are giving ourselves the best gift we could ever imagine!

Keep On Keepin On!

There's only way to the top of the mountain, you either climb or you don't. The view is sooo worth it!

:Dee

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHANGINGHORSES 3/25/2011 6:51PM

    Thank you everyone for your support!

I'm really very active. I try to walk an hour at lunch every day at a pace of 4mph. Try to run anywhere between 30-40 min 3 evenings a week. I love hiking which I do on weekends at 5-10 miles each day if I can get both days in. I never really considered it too much. I figure if I have the energy and can/want to do it then I should just do it. Some days I take it easier by slowing it down some or sticking to flat ground.

My legs are very strong, my friends call me a mountain goat when we are hiking and climbing the mountains. I love the hills!

I am determined to make this running work for me. "I" didn't decide to run, my body just took off one day while I was walking and I have been gone ever since. Running was something that I thought I could never do.

You just never know what you are capable of do you? "Power On"

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CHRISTINECAN 3/25/2011 8:19AM

    Everything I have been reading (and I am compulsive once I begin something) is telling me that the sign of your legs feeling like lead means that you need to have more rest days and less speed work. I advise heading to your local library and picking up a few running books. No Need For Speed is one, Long May You Run is another good one, The Competitive Runner's Handbook is chock full of great info.

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SPEEDYDOG 3/25/2011 7:56AM

    Hi Dee,

First, I think you are doing great! A sub-30 5K is nothing to sneeze at. I am looking forward to the day when my legs don't feel like lead!

For me, running is hard. A few years back I was running around the high school track. There was an older couple walking around the track. As always, my legs aren't moving well and my lungs are on fire. I breathing like a freight train. Every cell in my body is screaming for me to stop! After a few laps, the lady that was walking said to me, "You make that look so easy." I just replied, "This ain't easy!"

I think you have high expectations, and that is good. Just don't beat yourself up. I would love to be able to run a sub-20 5K. That ship has sailed. How fast do you want to be?

Thanks, Bruce

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SUZWARNR 3/23/2011 3:23PM

    I know what it's like to want things instantly. Trust me, I do. Have patience. A 5K in under 30 minutes is great. I have almost achieved that. What is your exercise program like? If you're not doing them, I'd have to say, squats, lunges and more squats and lunges. Strength training is vital. Adding some speedwork to your training runs will help immensely. The more you run too, the better your pace will get. It will all work out, I promise. You're doing great!

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CMULL328 3/22/2011 9:26PM

    I can relate. Before I started the C25k program I was walking 1.86 miles. Now that I"m in training, my time for the same 30 minutes is 1.76. I would think it would be the opposite. I'm not beating my goal to walk 2 miles in 30 minutes. But, I'm not letting it bother me. It's something new and I'm running now whereas I wasn't before. I was afraid to. Not anymore.

Your time for your 5k is AWESOME!!!! Try not focusing on it and that's when you'll be able to make the changes you want.

Good luck!

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TEDDYBABE 3/22/2011 8:40PM

    Boy howdy I'm thinking you are way tough on ChangingHorses! Your time is awesome. It is my understanding that consistent running, adds speed and distance. Interval training is also another outlet. Have you tried the interval training. The doctor I work for bikes 10 mile races and he is always preaching to me about interval training. Good luck friend, I personally think you are doing awesome.

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