Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Had a very nice time with the grandson yesterday. Our favorite Halloween store we learned unfortunately, has moved. However we visited 2 others. Both were super large but only 1 had exactly what we were looking for. A LARGE amount of costume choices and accessories PLUS a HUGE amount of SPOOKY STUFF for decorating the house and yard. It definitely made a return trip next week A MUST!
The grandson, DH and I had a lot of fun exploring our new favorite store and making a mental TO PURCHASE LIST for next week's return visit. I did however pick up a black cauldron last night. I was in desperate need of a new one! As well as a pumpkin craving kit, some haunted netting for the dining room table and a few scary window clings for the bathroom mirrors. I simply LOVE Halloween and can't wait to get started on decorating! I have also found a great many ideals for the holiday on PINTEREST. From recipes to pumpkins and everything in-between. PINTEREST if you don't know already is a website which allows you to save (pin) things to a particular board you add to your page, like for instance Halloween, Christmas, Easter, vacation ideals, favorite quotes, clothing, recipes, fitness, etc that you either like or love. It is quickly becoming my new addiction. And I highly recommend checking it out. I plan to make a few of the items I have found and add them to our yard display this year.
All in all it was a good day. I got in some walking too which is a plus. This morning my legs are sore so I know I worked something. As for today I am going to try and tackle some more of the wallpaper with the husband as well as help him remove the roots of the bush and hedge he chopped down last week. His promise that he would have them out by Monday didn't happen. So today, they WILL be removed!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Another pound is gone! I am happy that I lost something this week considering the last few days I have eaten more than necessary. Like I said in my last blog I haven't binged, just eaten a little more here and than, enough for me to take note of. But as we all know those little extras can add up and bite back hard if not watched carefully. They didn't for me this weigh in but if I don't put a stop to them, they soon will. So that is the plan for this week, controlling the little extras.
Today DH and I plan to take the grandson to check out Halloween decorations at a few of our favorite stores than stop for some dinner before returning him home at 7. Lucky for us the little guy loves the spooky holiday as much as we do. Who knows DH and I may purchased some extra goodies for our haunted yard display. It won't be long now before he and I will begin the 2 day task of setting it up. It is worth it though just to see how much the kids and their parents enjoy it each year.
And lastly I want to thank my fellow Sparkies for commenting on my last blog. specifically DAWNWATERWOMAN, 1CRAZYDOG, LKWQUILTER, and RURAL3. Your support has been amazing, your friendship something I certainly cherish and you definitely gave me some things to think about which I appreciate more than you know.
Monday, September 24, 2012
My daughter said something to me the other day that has shook me up. I have been unable to let it go. I have noticed my eating is off, not horribly but enough for me to notice a change the past couple of days. I haven’t been sleeping well either. And I have been so moody it is not funny. I don’t think I have any more tears left to cry but you never know. So I hope by blogging about it I can release it or at least some of it so it will no longer mess with my head, and heart.
Friday I called my daughter to try and set some time up with the grandson for this coming week. In the midst of the conversation she responded to something I said with, she will not always be available to me in particular when I call. To which I have jokingly said it wouldn’t surprise me if she didn’t have a list posted next to her phone of 1001 reasons why she can’t talk to her mom and next to that another list of 1002 reasons why she hates me. She replied she doesn’t hate me even though she has said it and meant it in the heat of the moment, she only strongly dislikes me. She went on to say she actually has more than 1002 reasons why she feels this way. I asked her to list them but she would only say one of them is that I am ridiculous. She wouldn’t elaborate. She then made a giant leap and stated I had alienated her dad against her the other night at dinner. When I asked her to explain how, she said I wouldn’t accept her decision not to allow her son dessert and wouldn’t let my husband have his so therefor she is sure that puts a riff between her dad and her. I told her I didn’t stop anyone from having dessert, I only suggested they take their cake home so our grandson didn’t have to sit and watch his Pepa eat a slice that he couldn’t take part in. After all it wasn’t just any old dessert; it was a belated birthday celebration cake. I than said DH had no issue with having his cake at home and that he said nothing about it to me on the car ride home nor blamed me for anything. She countered by saying how would I know if he was upset or not, that her dad never tells me how he truly feels about anything. I said that I disagree; I told her that he tells me how he feels about people and situations all the time. His only problem is he finds it difficult to tell others how he feels. To which she replied, “YEAH SURE HE DOES MOM! JUST LIKE HE SHARED WITH YOU HOW HE TRULY FEELS ABOUT ALL THOSE WOMEN HE CHEATED ON YOU WITH A FEW YEARS AGO.”
To say these words of hers stung is an understatement. I hesitated for a minute out of sheer shock but then said to her, “You want to talk about cruel; what you just said was exactly that. This conversation is over!” And I hung up. Later I told my husband what she had said. He called her and asked her why she has to be so hateful to me? He said her choice of words really hurt and that she had no right to bring up such a painful memory for me. He said he and I are trying hard to get pass a bad time in our marriage and that she certainly hasn’t helped matters. He told her she has gone way beyond the line this time and she needs to apologize to me.
The time in which my daughter spoke of was in 2009 when I caught my husband cheating via his cellphone and internet. I had just found out I had Diabetic Retinopathy and was undergoing some rather intense and scary laser eye surgeries. During this time (4 months) and for approx 6 months afterwards my husband had ongoing sexually explicit relationships with women on the computer and his phone. One of which he actually said he loved and sent flowers too. None were ever in person but cheating is cheating. We went through 2 counselors before he finally stopped. It was heartbreaking and very painful. I still have trust issues to this day but like my weight, my relationship with my husband is a work in progress. For my only child to bring this disturbing time in my life up in such a sarcastic and uncaring way was the bottom of the barrel even for her. She herself should know how much her words would hurt since she experienced a similar situation with her ex but nevertheless she chose to say them anyway. She has finally hit an all-time low. And whether my husband believes so or not, I feel she owes me an apology at the very least. Currently she has yet to offer one.
I not only get to relive those horrible memories and feel the heartache once more but realized that it was my daughter and her utter hatefulness that helped to bring them back to the forefront. If she doesn’t hate me like she said in the above conversation, than what would you call her latest action? I certainly wouldn’t call it LOVE.
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