Tuesday, September 11, 2012
I got rid of 3 more pounds which when added to the 6 from last week makes 9. YAHOO! Headed in the right direction for a change. Feels good!
Today DH and I will begin stripping the wallpaper in the hallway. I held off from doing this earlier because our hallway is a large one and has stairs so there are areas over the stairs I can't get to. Actually who ever put it up must of had a fun time by the looks of it. Anyway hoping to get it all down today but we have tomorrow too (DH is off) just in case.
Later we are headed out for some Peanut time. Taking the grandson to the fair after school. Should be lots of FUN!
Saturday, September 08, 2012
For anyone struggling with their weight loss, and/ or questioning whether or not to pick up that cookie, chip, slice of pizza, bowl of ice cream, or to not work out today, my suggestion is to read this blog first.
Last night as I struggled for sleep, yeah it was one of those nights; I lay in bed obsessing over my health of all things. My family drama made an appearance too every so often but for the most part it was my health that filled my brain cells. By 4 am I had accepted the fact that I have made too little changes too late and my health is at the bottom of the barrel because of it. Being obese for 25 years and overweight for another 5 will take its toll on oneís body for sure. If you doubt it, take a look at what I deal with as a result of it now:
Type II Diabetes
High Blood Pressure
I most likely would not have the majority of these ailments at the age of 53 if I had not gained weight in the first place or at the very least taken it off a lot sooner. I am a prime example of why we need to take care of our bodies. Our health is of utmost importance and the one thing we take for granted every time we overeat or choose something that isnít healthy for us. If you donít take the time and make the effort to care for yourself now, this minute, you will eventually pay for it. Believe me, I know!
Food is not a friend. Nor is it a comfort. It never will be. Food is only meant to nourish and sustain our bodies. It canít control nor soothe lifeís struggles or challenges no matter how much we would like it too. Yet we continue to shovel it into our mouths with increasing volume under the pretense that somehow it is going to help. Well, it wonít help! It wonít help with boredom, anxiety, stress, break ups, family drama, divorces, financial worries, kids, abuse, loss of a loved one, school pressure, or friendship troubles. I repeat, food can do nothing but nourish and sustain our bodies. Overeating and consumption of unhealthy food will only do harm. We all enjoy that momentary pleasure that food gives us without so much as a single thought to what it is doing inside our bodies. However somewhere down the line, the damage it has done will rear its ugly head and strike. You can bet on it!
Knowing what your future may actually hold, I believe can be a real eye opener. I am not a fictitious character in a book, a doctor, or fit and trim weight loss guru telling you what to do. I am a walking, talking, breathing (for now), and still fighting obesity poster woman of what not to do. My struggle these days is not just to lose the remaining weight I have and get down to a healthy size, but also not to go completely blind, have a stroke or die tomorrow. My indulgence in food for whatever the reason was never the answer and is certainly not worth the price I now pay. In hindsight I wish with all my heart Iíd had my eyes pried open and understood this a whole lot earlier. I could have save myself a lot of pain, heartache and very possibly an early death. But regrettably I canít go back and fix what I know now was a destructive road for me to travel. I can only move forward.
With that in perspective, I know I canít undo the damage I have already caused my body. So where exactly does that leave me? Well my first response would be nowhere. Seriously up a creek without even a boat. But then, to accept that would be like accepting the end. That I am finished. And well, call me stubborn, but I am not ready to call it quits yet. That is one of the reasons after years of being morbidly obese and with all my health problems I began making changes in the first place. That day was the day my beautiful grandson was born 5 years ago. I can remember the exact minute I knew I had to start doing something, anything. To date I have taken off 81 lbs. I will be the first to say I have made slow progress. 81 lbs is not a lot of weight loss considering itís been 5 years but given my history; it could have very easily been an 81 lb gain. I would be weighing 421 lbs right now instead of 259 lbs respectfully. So changes, slow as they are have happened. Iíve had my share of backslides. Iíve experienced plateaus. And yes, I still from time to time allow outside influences to get in the way of my efforts. I am, after all a work in progress. And with each moment I grow stronger and more determine than ever.
Regardless of my turtleís pace, I still feel the need and desire to scratch and claw my way to a better and healthier lifestyle. Looking at my health issues it would be relatively easy for me to just give up. After all I am facing extremely serious ones. Nevertheless there is a part of me that says, DONíT! So the question than turns to, what can I do now? Well, I can change what I can. Simple as that! I canít do miracles but whether it's continuing to lose weight, how much I eat, what I eat, whether I exercise or not, or how I react to certain situations, there are still things within my control. And as long as I have that option than I have hope!
Itís never too late to change. However the sooner you do it, the better it will be for you! March on Sparkies! Don't give up! Make today count!!
Friday, August 31, 2012
First, the kitchen wallpaper is giving me a very tough time. Two days so far and getting basically nowhere. I swear the previous owners must have used cement to apply it. And probably Superglue on top of it!
Secondly, the daughter calls today just to "make sure I fully understand she wants no relationship with me for the foreseeable future". No calls, contact, visits, socializing, FB exchanges, emails, texts, nothing whatsoever until such time she feels she can forgive me (for what she wouldn't say) and rid herself of the hatred she has for me. When that will ever occur, who knows? She has agreed though that I can see my grandson as long as her father picks him up and drops him off. She added though, "It's not like I am going to see him much anyway now that he is going to school." Oh well, little is better than not at all!
And lastly, I received a call today from a cousin who wanted to inform me my aunt, his mother, had died. This was especially heartbreaking given the circumstance that she passed away August 9th! No excuse for this nor did he offer one. He and I are on good terms and communicate via email or cards a few times a year. My aunt and I had a good relationship and have remained in contact all these years. She was one of my true favorites and one of the nicest ladies I know. I would have wanted very much to attend her funeral but was not even given the option. Geez, does anyone care about anyone anymore?
Perhaps I just should of stayed in bed this morning! UGH!
Saturday, August 25, 2012
I have faced a lot of obstacles in my life. Like so many people I have experience my fair share of pain, abuse, heartache and sadness. There are many things I can blame, and people I can use as excuses. Reasons for not doing what I want to do with my body and my life. For not changing who it is I want to be.
I have had the following quote on my page for awhile now but have never really understood it nor accepted it for truth until NOW. Excuses are a form of weakness. There will always be something or someone just around the corner for me to use to stay just as I am. The problem is, I don't want to stay just as I am.
I want to be better, smarter, thinner, stronger, motivated, self reliant, confident, empowered, and develop a love for myself that I have yet to feel in nearly 54 years. I am tired of excuses. I am tired of weakness. I am tired of allowing everything and anything to get in the way. I am tired of feeling less than, never good enough, not strong enough. I want to leave this world in better shape, physically, emotionally and mentally than I have lived it until now. In truth, I am, and have been the other thing standing in my way. And it's time I do something about that!
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