Monday, March 18, 2013
Full week in the works! However first things first. I dropped 2 more pounds this week which means I have already met my goal for this month's challenge. 5 lbs! I have two weeks left for the month and can't wait to see what I can accomplish with those. My motivation is back on and strong. Hoping to keep it that way.
This week will be a busy one as I mentioned above. I have shopping to do for Easter treats that I'm putting together this week for my grandson's class, materials to pick up for some Easter crafts that I am hoping to get started on, a few more goodies to place in the grandson's Easter basket, and some Spring clothes for ME.
YES, I am actually doing some shopping for me for a change. Which is a huge step in itself. Very huge!! I am so tired of wearing the same old, boring things. And when I say old I really mean OLD. I have not been one to do much in the way of shopping for myself, or doing anything for myself for that matter. The whole obese thing along with the increasing low self-esteem that comes with growing ever larger put a stop to that years ago. As fat as I have been and still am, I have hated shopping for clothes so I have gotten by with just the essentials over the years. A couple pairs of black slacks (stretchies) and a few tops (all pull overs), a basic black purse and a few pairs of shoes. Perhaps I purchase a new top or two every other year or so but not beyond that. Instead I buy for everyone else. I must be the only woman on Earth that has only 3 pairs of shoes (a flat, fitness, and flip flop) and a small handful of clothes in her walk in closet. I once on a whim bought a set of 100 Huggable Hangers, and after putting my clothes on them stood there, wondering what was I going to use the other 90 for. When I hear my sister in law, an executive secretary, who always dresses so nicely, speak of owning 50 or more pairs of shoes, purses and tons of clothing, I can't even imagine. Even after a loss of 100 pounds I still find it difficult to buy clothes that I feel look good on me. I have found the mind is not so easily changed and when I look at myself today, I still see UGLY. Part of the new changes that I am trying to adopt this year is to change my present mindset and begin to break out of the mode I have self imposed on ME. To learn for the very first time to look out for, and take better care of #1, in all things. Shopping for myself is a positive step in the right direction, I think. Although it may take me awhile to truly get the hang of it.
Anyway back to this week's agenda. I also have wrapping to do for the grandson's birthday which is Sunday. Didn't quite get around to this last week. Wednesday afternoon will be spent with the little guy ordering balloons and picking up goodies bags and treats for his party as well as grabbing some dinner with him. At some point I need to fit in some Spring cleaning too. Didn't get to all the closets as planned so need to finish them up before I can move on. And last but certainly not least DH and I are looking forward to the grandson's birthday and party this weekend!! Can't wait to celebrate with him.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Itís turning out to be a BIG MONTH as well as year for my grandson. Not only will he turn 6 next Sunday but his father just made 2 whopping announcements that will affect his little life in a giant way. The biggest of these is my grandson is going to become a BIG BROTHER in the fall! As one might imagine, he is excited!
His father announced this week that he is not only married but that he and his NEW wife of 3 months are pregnant with their first.
Hereís a little background: Our daughter and her ex were together for 3 years, married for 2 and a half. They separated January 09, and were divorced as of June 2010. Since the separation, her ex has had a revolving door of women running in and out of their son's life with one live-in arrangement for one year. Multiple quick relationships are not unusual for my ex SIL as this was also his MO before, as well as during his relationship with my daughter. His unfaithfulness was the reason our daughter ended the marriage. The man may be 31 but he is as mature as a, well, I wonít get into that.
Anyway this past November he broke up with one woman he had been dating for three months and immediately entered into another relationship just prior to Thanksgiving. Nope, no surprise there! However six weeks later, he and the new girlfriend Shannon woke up one morning and thought it would be a grand idea to get married!! So off the two of them went to the local jail. Yes, I did say jail as the court house is closed Saturdays. Three days before Christmas, the two of them said I do with NO friends, family nor his son present.
Fast forward twelve weeks, they have now informed his son that they are married AND also expecting! Talk about a double whammy! As for the marriage part, my ex SIL did inform my daughter of the marriage back in December when it took place however he asked her not to tell their son yet. He and the new wife have had their first ultrasound and decided this week it was time to share all of their news with not only his son but their parents, family and friends as well.
So this year my grandson will turn 6, adjust to Shannon being part of his family, finish out Kindergarten in June, enter 1st grade in August and welcome his very first sibling into his life in late September. WOW! Itís definitely a lot to take in for someone so young. However I am sure he will rise to the occasion as well as be an BIG BROTHER!
As for the new wife of the dadís, our daughter is holding off for now from allowing their son to refer to Shannon as step mom however she is encouraging a healthy relationship between the two of them. Shannon 29 seems like a nice girl for what we have seen so far and know of her presently. Except for perhaps her "somewhat insane" decision to marry someone after only 6 weeks. Especially in this day and age, after a failed marriage of her own. We can excuse the ex SIL on the grounds that he never has made sense and this is something he would do but seriously what was she thinking? She appears to be a smart girl except for this rather rash decision. Nonetheless I guess I can't fault her too much, my own daughter was under this idiot's spell too for awhile. Eventually she woke up, thankfully. Anyhow I have spoken to Shannon just three times myself so far and she comes across warm and friendly. She is an RN working currently on her Masters to become a Nurse Practitioner. She is Christian and attends church regularly. She was married before at an early age and is still VERY CLOSE to her ex in laws but not with her ex. She is communicative with our daughter. She has been to our grandsonís sporting events several times and most importantly he seems comfortable with her. She even asked my daughter this week if she would consider being like a ďsecond mom or special auntĒ to the new baby and be an active part in his or her life, also if she would like to see the ultrasound video as well as be present for the birth. She has asked my daughter to attend the baby shower as well in August.
Whew!! All of this in just one week certainly has my head spinning, so I had to ask my daughter if any of it is making her uneasy. She told me no, not at all. She said her feelings for her ex are long gone, and she has since moved on. She has put all the heartache of the past behind her. She knows exactly what her ex is like and why she left the marriage. Nevertheless she has worked hard on establishing a healthy communication with him, and vice versa, for the sake of their son. She is in a long term relationship with Dan now (3 years and counting), is happy and no longer concerns herself with her ex's personal life except when "his issues" affect their son. She insists on keeping an open dialog up and running but is also not afraid to speak her mind when needed just as she did when her ex told her of his 6 week courtship and quickie marriage in December. She added that her priority is that of her son and his well-being. As long as Shannon treats her son well, than she is fine with welcoming her into the mix. She says she likes Shannon so far especially the fact that she seems willing to communicate with her as well as accept the fact that ďthe exĒ and her will continue to communicate with one another regardless of any relationships or marriages on either side. My daughter also told me she has already given thought to Shannonís requests of this week. My daughter knows this new baby will be a very important part of her sonís life and therefore she has no issue with being an active part of her sonís new extended family.
I have to say, regardless of how difficult and drama-filled my relationship is with my daughter I must applaud her on the effort she is making as it pertains to these NEW circumstances in both her and her sonís lives. I feel she is showing maturity way beyond her years. Now no one can predict what the future will hold or whether my ex SIL's new marriage will last or not nevertheless there is a new life on the way that will forever be intertwine with my grandsonís. So CONGRATULATIONS GRANDSON! Pepa and I will do our part to help you in any way in your NEW role as BIG Brother. Your baby brother or sister is going to be awfully lucky to have you in his or her life.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
There is nothing like feeling completely left out to ruin one's mood. I seriously feel like a third wheel. I am both angry and depressed. Earlier in the week DH asked me to look up some concert information that involves some of our favorite music groups. He didn't mention ME going at the time but I thought he was just waiting until I told him the information. I checked out the concert info on line and relayed it to him the next day. He was all excited yet still made no mention of the "two of us" attending. Two days later our daughter called to tell us the details for our grandson's birthday party that is set to happen later this month. After we talked for awhile DH shouts out from the other room, "Hey, ask her if she wants to go to the concert with ME?". He still had yet to ask if I wanted to go so it is fair to say I immediately felt like I had been tossed to the curb. Nevertheless I conveyed the invitation to our daughter and she responded by saying that she, her boyfriend Dan and her BF were already planning to attend but "if dad wants to go too, they can all go together. The two of them than set out to plan the details such as when to buy tickets, where to sit, etc with ME being the go-between on the phone. I know I was subjecting myself to further heartache but I figure I was way too upset at that point to think logically and hand the phone to him to do his own dirty work so I just played along. After the call however I did let out my feelings on the matter and asked him why is it that the two of them always include each other on plans, have no problem doing so right in front of me but never once try and include me. Whether its concerts, football games, other activities, joining a team, and/ or even going on particular trips, the invitations never extend to ME. Even if I were to say no to an invitation of theirs, it would be nice to be asked but I never am. DH responded to my statement by saying he thought I would say something, thought I wouldn't want to go, thought I didn't like the groups playing (when he knows full well I do), than changed those excuses to he thought I would want to stay home to watch our grandson instead. There were two things I noticed right away about his excuses; he had many reasons why he didn't asked me to go and they all placed ME as the responsible party.
Needless to say we didn't talk much the rest of that day nor the next day. I eventually accepted however that it is what it is and reminded myself that I will never change how the two of them feel about me nor their hurtful ways. Yesterday our daughter called back up and asked me to get on the computer and check out the concerts seats she just bought for herself, her dad, Dan and her BF. "insert physical discomfort" She than hits me with her son will be going with them as well. My grandson's very first concert! Train (they sing one of my grandson's favorite songs Hey Soul Sister), The Script and solo artist Gavin Degraw will be playing. I immediately realized that I am the only one NOT GOING, I will miss sharing with my grandson his first concert experience and my husband and daughter will be having a great time together as usual and I will be once again left out. Neither one of them even bothered to ask what I would be doing while they are 3 hours away having fun? No surprise there for they already know the answer - no car (with my vision couldn't drive one anyway), no cab nor bus availabe and no friends nearby means NOTHING! That physical discomfort I mentioned just a minute ago, oh yeah, that was my heart breaking... again. Like I said earlier there is nothing like feeling completely left out to ruin one's mood!
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