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Weigh In

Monday, March 18, 2013

Full week in the works! However first things first. I dropped 2 more pounds this week which means I have already met my goal for this month's challenge. 5 lbs! emoticon I have two weeks left for the month and can't wait to see what I can accomplish with those. My motivation is back on and strong. Hoping to keep it that way.

This week will be a busy one as I mentioned above. I have shopping to do for Easter treats that I'm putting together this week for my grandson's class, materials to pick up for some Easter crafts that I am hoping to get started on, a few more goodies to place in the grandson's Easter basket, and some Spring clothes for ME.

YES, I am actually doing some shopping for me for a change. Which is a huge step in itself. Very huge!! I am so tired of wearing the same old, boring things. And when I say old I really mean OLD. I have not been one to do much in the way of shopping for myself, or doing anything for myself for that matter. The whole obese thing along with the increasing low self-esteem that comes with growing ever larger put a stop to that years ago. As fat as I have been and still am, I have hated shopping for clothes so I have gotten by with just the essentials over the years. A couple pairs of black slacks (stretchies) and a few tops (all pull overs), a basic black purse and a few pairs of shoes. Perhaps I purchase a new top or two every other year or so but not beyond that. Instead I buy for everyone else. I must be the only woman on Earth that has only 3 pairs of shoes (a flat, fitness, and flip flop) and a small handful of clothes in her walk in closet. I once on a whim bought a set of 100 Huggable Hangers, and after putting my clothes on them stood there, wondering what was I going to use the other 90 for. emoticon When I hear my sister in law, an executive secretary, who always dresses so nicely, speak of owning 50 or more pairs of shoes, purses and tons of clothing, I can't even imagine. Even after a loss of 100 pounds I still find it difficult to buy clothes that I feel look good on me. I have found the mind is not so easily changed and when I look at myself today, I still see UGLY. Part of the new changes that I am trying to adopt this year is to change my present mindset and begin to break out of the mode I have self imposed on ME. To learn for the very first time to look out for, and take better care of #1, in all things. Shopping for myself is a positive step in the right direction, I think. Although it may take me awhile to truly get the hang of it.

Anyway back to this week's agenda. I also have wrapping to do for the grandson's birthday which is Sunday. Didn't quite get around to this last week. Wednesday afternoon will be spent with the little guy ordering balloons and picking up goodies bags and treats for his party as well as grabbing some dinner with him. At some point I need to fit in some Spring cleaning too. Didn't get to all the closets as planned so need to finish them up before I can move on. And last but certainly not least DH and I are looking forward to the grandson's birthday and party this weekend!! Can't wait to celebrate with him. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHYSLIM2 3/23/2013 5:19PM

    You deserve these new clothes!! YAY for you!!!
I already read your other blog saying you had been succesful finding a few things.
Keep up the good work. You are worth it!
You are beautiful, and don't forget it!!!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RURAL3 3/18/2013 3:37PM

    congrats on the weight loss. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CAPECODLIGHT 3/18/2013 2:23PM

    Phew! You are a busy bee! Congratulations on the weight loss. You should be very proud of what you have accomplished so far. Exciting to hear about the clothes shopping. I am not much of a shopper. I have one everyday purse and a clutch for dress up. My shoes are mostly fitness/walking related, a couple of pairs of Crocs and two pairs of dress up flats. As a retiree, i just don't need a lot.
My biggest switch was buying things that weren't black when I lost weight. Compliments followed; so I guess people were all silently hoping I'd wear a color from time to time. Enjoy your shopping - you should treat yourself to something you feel great in.

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MUFFINSKI 3/18/2013 2:08PM

    emoticon

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ANNIE924 3/18/2013 12:28PM

    emoticon Indeed. You are doing great.

Sounds like you have a very full week ahead of you. Don't forget your Sallie time. emoticon

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LKWQUILTER 3/18/2013 11:13AM

    WTG Sallie!!!! You have done super GREAT!!! Have fun shopping and boy do I know what you mean. I still look at large women sizes first and have problems accepting that I can wear better looking clothes that actually fit and don't just hang. lol Keep it up Sallie. ((HUGS))

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The Grandson's Life Is About To Change

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Itís turning out to be a BIG MONTH as well as year for my grandson. Not only will he turn 6 next Sunday but his father just made 2 whopping announcements that will affect his little life in a giant way. The biggest of these is my grandson is going to become a BIG BROTHER in the fall! As one might imagine, he is excited!

His father announced this week that he is not only married but that he and his NEW wife of 3 months are pregnant with their first.

Hereís a little background: Our daughter and her ex were together for 3 years, married for 2 and a half. They separated January 09, and were divorced as of June 2010. Since the separation, her ex has had a revolving door of women running in and out of their son's life with one live-in arrangement for one year. Multiple quick relationships are not unusual for my ex SIL as this was also his MO before, as well as during his relationship with my daughter. His unfaithfulness was the reason our daughter ended the marriage. The man may be 31 but he is as mature as a, well, I wonít get into that.

Anyway this past November he broke up with one woman he had been dating for three months and immediately entered into another relationship just prior to Thanksgiving. Nope, no surprise there! However six weeks later, he and the new girlfriend Shannon woke up one morning and thought it would be a grand idea to get married!! emoticon So off the two of them went to the local jail. Yes, I did say jail as the court house is closed Saturdays. Three days before Christmas, the two of them said I do with NO friends, family nor his son present.

Fast forward twelve weeks, they have now informed his son that they are married AND also expecting! Talk about a double whammy! As for the marriage part, my ex SIL did inform my daughter of the marriage back in December when it took place however he asked her not to tell their son yet. He and the new wife have had their first ultrasound and decided this week it was time to share all of their news with not only his son but their parents, family and friends as well.

So this year my grandson will turn 6, adjust to Shannon being part of his family, finish out Kindergarten in June, enter 1st grade in August and welcome his very first sibling into his life in late September. WOW! Itís definitely a lot to take in for someone so young. However I am sure he will rise to the occasion as well as be an emoticon BIG BROTHER!

As for the new wife of the dadís, our daughter is holding off for now from allowing their son to refer to Shannon as step mom however she is encouraging a healthy relationship between the two of them. Shannon 29 seems like a nice girl for what we have seen so far and know of her presently. Except for perhaps her "somewhat insane" decision to marry someone after only 6 weeks. emoticon Especially in this day and age, after a failed marriage of her own. We can excuse the ex SIL on the grounds that he never has made sense and this is something he would do but seriously what was she thinking? She appears to be a smart girl except for this rather rash decision. Nonetheless I guess I can't fault her too much, my own daughter was under this idiot's spell too for awhile. Eventually she woke up, thankfully. Anyhow I have spoken to Shannon just three times myself so far and she comes across warm and friendly. She is an RN working currently on her Masters to become a Nurse Practitioner. She is Christian and attends church regularly. She was married before at an early age and is still VERY CLOSE to her ex in laws but not with her ex. She is communicative with our daughter. She has been to our grandsonís sporting events several times and most importantly he seems comfortable with her. She even asked my daughter this week if she would consider being like a ďsecond mom or special auntĒ to the new baby and be an active part in his or her life, also if she would like to see the ultrasound video as well as be present for the birth. She has asked my daughter to attend the baby shower as well in August.

Whew!! All of this in just one week certainly has my head spinning, so I had to ask my daughter if any of it is making her uneasy. She told me no, not at all. She said her feelings for her ex are long gone, and she has since moved on. She has put all the heartache of the past behind her. She knows exactly what her ex is like and why she left the marriage. Nevertheless she has worked hard on establishing a healthy communication with him, and vice versa, for the sake of their son. She is in a long term relationship with Dan now (3 years and counting), is happy and no longer concerns herself with her ex's personal life except when "his issues" affect their son. She insists on keeping an open dialog up and running but is also not afraid to speak her mind when needed just as she did when her ex told her of his 6 week courtship and quickie marriage in December. She added that her priority is that of her son and his well-being. As long as Shannon treats her son well, than she is fine with welcoming her into the mix. She says she likes Shannon so far especially the fact that she seems willing to communicate with her as well as accept the fact that ďthe exĒ and her will continue to communicate with one another regardless of any relationships or marriages on either side. My daughter also told me she has already given thought to Shannonís requests of this week. My daughter knows this new baby will be a very important part of her sonís life and therefore she has no issue with being an active part of her sonís new extended family.

I have to say, regardless of how difficult and drama-filled my relationship is with my daughter I must applaud her on the effort she is making as it pertains to these NEW circumstances in both her and her sonís lives. I feel she is showing maturity way beyond her years. Now no one can predict what the future will hold or whether my ex SIL's new marriage will last or not nevertheless there is a new life on the way that will forever be intertwine with my grandsonís. So CONGRATULATIONS GRANDSON! Pepa and I will do our part to help you in any way in your NEW role as BIG Brother. Your baby brother or sister is going to be awfully lucky to have you in his or her life. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHYSLIM2 3/24/2013 1:39PM

    Wow is right. Yes, it does sound like your daughter has her head in the right place in regards to this aspect of her (and your DG's) life!
I'll keep this situation in my prayers, and was most glad to read that this new woman Shannon is a strong Christian. Maybe she really will be able to help your former SIL see the error of his former ways and change his life for the better (and in the process be more of a positive role model for your dear GS!!)
Time will tell... emoticon


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LINDA! 3/16/2013 10:36PM

    A great picture. Many good wishes that all works out well for the sake of your DGS.

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LKWQUILTER 3/14/2013 4:18PM

    WOW!! You daughter is certainly handling things well--much better than most I am sure. I know that you are proud of her Sallie. I am sure little guy will be a great "big" brother.

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CATLADY52 3/14/2013 4:11PM

    Just want to say WOW! That was quite a bit to get dropped on you at one time. You're taking it quite well. emoticon emoticon

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CAPECODLIGHT 3/14/2013 1:42PM

    Mercy! That's a lot in a week! My parents got engaged after six weeks and married a month after and were married for 47 years before my dad passed. So stranger things have happened. Maybe this time the SIL has grown up. How exciting for your grandson!

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GEEKYGRANDMOMMY 3/14/2013 1:08PM

    emoticon

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ELSCO55 3/14/2013 12:04PM

    WOW. He will certainly be a wonderul big brother. What a wonderful daughter you have.

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KASEYCOFF 3/14/2013 11:56AM

    In a word - WOW, big changes for all of you--!!!
emoticon

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Mema's Work Is Never Done

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

DH and I went birthday shopping for our grandson today. emoticon He turns 6 in eleven days. We stopped at Toys R Us first where we bought the little guy a:

147 piece Lego set w/ storage case
Animal Planet African Safari playset
Thomas Runaway Boulder Train set
Checker set w/ storage case - He LOVES to play checkers at Cracker Barrel!
Neon Green Surf Skate w/ knee and elbow pads
AND
a Power Rangers 16 inch bike w/ helmet

Afterwards the husband and I grabbed lunch at Panera. I had a turkey, avocado, bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich on whole wheat with an apple and water, no mayo or cheese. We than dropped by Target where we picked up some Spring and Summer clothes for the grandson as well.

And since Easter is only 2 and half weeks away I picked up 3 Easter goodies to put in his basket. emoticon Next week I will work on his class treats and pick up a couple more little goodies for his basket as well.

I walked a lot today which actually felt good. I know however my knees will pay for it tomorrow. So I will try and head off some of the discomfort by icing them tonight. In any case if they still bother me a lot in the a.m. I will use the down time to wrap the gifts we got the grandson today. emoticon For now, it's onto dinner than a little chill time for ME! Going to catch up on some reading tonight.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LKWQUILTER 3/13/2013 1:47PM

    I want you to adopt me too. lol What a good time you had today. Sure hope your knees don't bother you toooo much. ((HUGS))

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CAPECODLIGHT 3/12/2013 8:41PM

    Any interest in adopting me as a granddaughter? I'm no trouble at all.... :0)

Sounds like your grandson is going to have a wonderful birhtday.

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RURAL3 3/12/2013 7:48PM

    OMG He is going to have a wonderful birthday. Its a good thing you only have one grandchild. emoticon

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Weigh In

Monday, March 11, 2013

Well the new changes I adopted March 1st along with some increased motivation must be working as I dropped 3 lbs this week. emoticon My goal for this month's challenge is 5 lbs so at this point I am confident I will surpass it however I won't allow myself to get cocky. I have learned in the past there is no sure thing when it comes to losing weight. So I am taking things nice and easy.

This past weekend was a bit tricky I must admit with the knowledge of Girl Scout cookies in the house and the darker mood I lapsed into due to family drama nevertheless I prevailed over both. Side note: DH did find the cookies from the other day and has now hidden them well as I have not seen them since the other day. Of course there is the possibility that he has already eaten them all. emoticon

I wasn't able to get all the sorting and cleaning of closets done that I had planned to do this past weekend. I was way too busy feeling sorry for myself (family drama) so I basically moped around the house for the past two days. It is however on the agenda for this week. DH and I also have some birthday shopping for the grandson to do along with bed shopping. A mattress set for the master and a bunk bed for the grandson's room. Even though he doesn't sleep over as much as he use to, his crib size daybed doesn't cut it anymore. He has been camping out on the couch whenever he comes over so DH and I want to remedy that with a new bed. His room here is a small one so we are thinking a basic bunk bed would work for him and any future grand (I can always hope), as well as for any great-nieces and nephews that visit.

DH and I are also seeing if the daughter will allow us to take the little guy to his favorite play place and to dinner tomorrow night or Wednesday. We are presently in a wait and see mode on this.

As to the concert fiasco from the other day. I have decided that I will use my FREE-TIME on that day for a SPA VISIT. My very 1st!!! We have a nice spa in town that I can get to and from by cab. I figure by than I will have dropped a bit more weight and therefore be a lot less self conscious about going to one. I am thinking having THE WORKS done is just what the doctor ordered. Have already informed DH of my plan. He grumbled as I figured he would but oh well, it is what it is. I am entitled to have a little fun too! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RURAL3 3/11/2013 4:08PM

    emoticon emoticon Nice weight loss Sallie.
I think that spa visit sounds just like what DH ordered for you while they are all gone. emoticon I am sure you will have a much more relaxing time doing that than trying to go along with them and be stressed out. It sounds heavenly. emoticon

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CATLADY52 3/11/2013 3:28PM

    What you have planned will be a real treat and one you really deserve with your loss. Have fun.

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LKWQUILTER 3/11/2013 1:20PM

    emoticon on the weight loss Sallie. So proud that you are taking time for you. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CAPECODLIGHT 3/11/2013 12:17PM

    Congratulations on the 3 lb. loss, but doing so in the face of the past weekend is really impressive. Good for you! I think the spa visit idea is inspired - have a wonderful time.

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MUFFINSKI 3/11/2013 12:01PM

    Nice Loss!
I love that you are treating yourself to a spa day! Much deserved!
emoticon emoticon

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SAILING2GOAL 3/11/2013 11:33AM

    First of all, Congratulations on your weight loss! Secondly, good for you that you took a hurtful situation and turned it into something very positive for yourself! Way to go!!!

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My Apologies - Venting

Sunday, March 10, 2013

There is nothing like feeling completely left out to ruin one's mood. I seriously feel like a third wheel. I am both angry and depressed. Earlier in the week DH asked me to look up some concert information that involves some of our favorite music groups. He didn't mention ME going at the time but I thought he was just waiting until I told him the information. I checked out the concert info on line and relayed it to him the next day. He was all excited yet still made no mention of the "two of us" attending. Two days later our daughter called to tell us the details for our grandson's birthday party that is set to happen later this month. After we talked for awhile DH shouts out from the other room, "Hey, ask her if she wants to go to the concert with ME?". He still had yet to ask if I wanted to go so it is fair to say I immediately felt like I had been tossed to the curb. Nevertheless I conveyed the invitation to our daughter and she responded by saying that she, her boyfriend Dan and her BF were already planning to attend but "if dad wants to go too, they can all go together. The two of them than set out to plan the details such as when to buy tickets, where to sit, etc with ME being the go-between on the phone. I know I was subjecting myself to further heartache but I figure I was way too upset at that point to think logically and hand the phone to him to do his own dirty work so I just played along. After the call however I did let out my feelings on the matter and asked him why is it that the two of them always include each other on plans, have no problem doing so right in front of me but never once try and include me. Whether its concerts, football games, other activities, joining a team, and/ or even going on particular trips, the invitations never extend to ME. Even if I were to say no to an invitation of theirs, it would be nice to be asked but I never am. DH responded to my statement by saying he thought I would say something, thought I wouldn't want to go, thought I didn't like the groups playing (when he knows full well I do), than changed those excuses to he thought I would want to stay home to watch our grandson instead. There were two things I noticed right away about his excuses; he had many reasons why he didn't asked me to go and they all placed ME as the responsible party.

Needless to say we didn't talk much the rest of that day nor the next day. I eventually accepted however that it is what it is and reminded myself that I will never change how the two of them feel about me nor their hurtful ways. Yesterday our daughter called back up and asked me to get on the computer and check out the concerts seats she just bought for herself, her dad, Dan and her BF. "insert physical discomfort" She than hits me with her son will be going with them as well. My grandson's very first concert! Train (they sing one of my grandson's favorite songs Hey Soul Sister), The Script and solo artist Gavin Degraw will be playing. I immediately realized that I am the only one NOT GOING, I will miss sharing with my grandson his first concert experience and my husband and daughter will be having a great time together as usual and I will be once again left out. Neither one of them even bothered to ask what I would be doing while they are 3 hours away having fun? No surprise there for they already know the answer - no car (with my vision couldn't drive one anyway), no cab nor bus availabe and no friends nearby means NOTHING! That physical discomfort I mentioned just a minute ago, oh yeah, that was my heart breaking... again. Like I said earlier there is nothing like feeling completely left out to ruin one's mood! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAPECODLIGHT 3/11/2013 9:21AM

    I am so sorry that your husband would exclude you. This one lays at his feet, not your daughter's. It sounds to me that he never gave you the real reason he excluded you, as he kept coming up with different excuses. I am not in your shoes, but I would insist on marriage counseling; and if he won't go, insist on going alone and his driving you back and forth there. I don't think I could tolerate the continuation of this behavior.

emoticon

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LKWQUILTER 3/10/2013 7:39PM

    I agree with some others--I would make my own plans with a friend and let dh pick up the tab on my activities. I think he would be worrying about his own meals, clothes, maybe his own bed too for a while. As you can tell, I can be not very nice when someone really hurts my feelings and treats me bad. (((HUGS)))

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BRENDABUNNY 3/10/2013 3:48PM

    So sorry Salie emoticon emoticon

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MRSHELENKITTY 3/10/2013 2:14PM

    I am so sorry that you feel left out. I feel that you did the right thing by communicating to your husband how you felt, he should also not assume you did not want to go. How about sitting down with your DH and daughter and telling them both that it hurts you when they plan things and not include you. It really isn't fair. You should not have to feel this way especially with your DH and daughter. I don't think they would purposefully not include you, but maybe they are so used to doing things this way, that they do not even notice or think about how much they are hurting you. I hope that you express your feelings more to them and it gets resolved. *hugs*

Comment edited on: 3/10/2013 2:14:45 PM

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RURAL3 3/10/2013 11:53AM

    I just can't imagine your pain but I have to say I would be furious with my DH. And I would certainly make plans to do something fun and expensive with a girlfriend who drives. The scenario they set up is totally unacceptable and extremely hurtful. emoticon
I hope venting helped. I am praying for you Sallie emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/10/2013 6:43:42 PM

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GOMAMA10 3/10/2013 11:11AM

  Heart hurts are difficult to see through at the time and rejection is something that is very personal. While they have plans you just keep on making yourself strong. When you get time with your grandson just ask him about his experience and not in a complaining way, but let him know how happy you are that he got to go. Talk of the good memories for him and how he is growing up so fast. Maybe next time ask your DH "Honey what time are we leaving?"I keep my feelings in and that's not good it will be in your thughts and fester ill feelings sooner or later. Stay strong.

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