CHANGING4ME49   17,524
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My Apologies - Venting

Sunday, March 10, 2013

There is nothing like feeling completely left out to ruin one's mood. I seriously feel like a third wheel. I am both angry and depressed. Earlier in the week DH asked me to look up some concert information that involves some of our favorite music groups. He didn't mention ME going at the time but I thought he was just waiting until I told him the information. I checked out the concert info on line and relayed it to him the next day. He was all excited yet still made no mention of the "two of us" attending. Two days later our daughter called to tell us the details for our grandson's birthday party that is set to happen later this month. After we talked for awhile DH shouts out from the other room, "Hey, ask her if she wants to go to the concert with ME?". He still had yet to ask if I wanted to go so it is fair to say I immediately felt like I had been tossed to the curb. Nevertheless I conveyed the invitation to our daughter and she responded by saying that she, her boyfriend Dan and her BF were already planning to attend but "if dad wants to go too, they can all go together. The two of them than set out to plan the details such as when to buy tickets, where to sit, etc with ME being the go-between on the phone. I know I was subjecting myself to further heartache but I figure I was way too upset at that point to think logically and hand the phone to him to do his own dirty work so I just played along. After the call however I did let out my feelings on the matter and asked him why is it that the two of them always include each other on plans, have no problem doing so right in front of me but never once try and include me. Whether its concerts, football games, other activities, joining a team, and/ or even going on particular trips, the invitations never extend to ME. Even if I were to say no to an invitation of theirs, it would be nice to be asked but I never am. DH responded to my statement by saying he thought I would say something, thought I wouldn't want to go, thought I didn't like the groups playing (when he knows full well I do), than changed those excuses to he thought I would want to stay home to watch our grandson instead. There were two things I noticed right away about his excuses; he had many reasons why he didn't asked me to go and they all placed ME as the responsible party.

Needless to say we didn't talk much the rest of that day nor the next day. I eventually accepted however that it is what it is and reminded myself that I will never change how the two of them feel about me nor their hurtful ways. Yesterday our daughter called back up and asked me to get on the computer and check out the concerts seats she just bought for herself, her dad, Dan and her BF. "insert physical discomfort" She than hits me with her son will be going with them as well. My grandson's very first concert! Train (they sing one of my grandson's favorite songs Hey Soul Sister), The Script and solo artist Gavin Degraw will be playing. I immediately realized that I am the only one NOT GOING, I will miss sharing with my grandson his first concert experience and my husband and daughter will be having a great time together as usual and I will be once again left out. Neither one of them even bothered to ask what I would be doing while they are 3 hours away having fun? No surprise there for they already know the answer - no car (with my vision couldn't drive one anyway), no cab nor bus availabe and no friends nearby means NOTHING! That physical discomfort I mentioned just a minute ago, oh yeah, that was my heart breaking... again. Like I said earlier there is nothing like feeling completely left out to ruin one's mood! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAPECODLIGHT 3/11/2013 9:21AM

    I am so sorry that your husband would exclude you. This one lays at his feet, not your daughter's. It sounds to me that he never gave you the real reason he excluded you, as he kept coming up with different excuses. I am not in your shoes, but I would insist on marriage counseling; and if he won't go, insist on going alone and his driving you back and forth there. I don't think I could tolerate the continuation of this behavior.

emoticon

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LKWQUILTER 3/10/2013 7:39PM

    I agree with some others--I would make my own plans with a friend and let dh pick up the tab on my activities. I think he would be worrying about his own meals, clothes, maybe his own bed too for a while. As you can tell, I can be not very nice when someone really hurts my feelings and treats me bad. (((HUGS)))

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BRENDABUNNY 3/10/2013 3:48PM

    So sorry Salie emoticon emoticon

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MRSHELENKITTY 3/10/2013 2:14PM

    I am so sorry that you feel left out. I feel that you did the right thing by communicating to your husband how you felt, he should also not assume you did not want to go. How about sitting down with your DH and daughter and telling them both that it hurts you when they plan things and not include you. It really isn't fair. You should not have to feel this way especially with your DH and daughter. I don't think they would purposefully not include you, but maybe they are so used to doing things this way, that they do not even notice or think about how much they are hurting you. I hope that you express your feelings more to them and it gets resolved. *hugs*

Comment edited on: 3/10/2013 2:14:45 PM

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RURAL3 3/10/2013 11:53AM

    I just can't imagine your pain but I have to say I would be furious with my DH. And I would certainly make plans to do something fun and expensive with a girlfriend who drives. The scenario they set up is totally unacceptable and extremely hurtful. emoticon
I hope venting helped. I am praying for you Sallie emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/10/2013 6:43:42 PM

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GOMAMA10 3/10/2013 11:11AM

  Heart hurts are difficult to see through at the time and rejection is something that is very personal. While they have plans you just keep on making yourself strong. When you get time with your grandson just ask him about his experience and not in a complaining way, but let him know how happy you are that he got to go. Talk of the good memories for him and how he is growing up so fast. Maybe next time ask your DH "Honey what time are we leaving?"I keep my feelings in and that's not good it will be in your thughts and fester ill feelings sooner or later. Stay strong.

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If It isn't One Thing, It's Another

Thursday, March 07, 2013

Okay, so yesterday it was the knees and this morning it's the lower back that hurts. emoticon Getting older isn't always what it's cracked up to be, in more ways than one. Sure I may be a whole lot wiser these days but sometimes it just downright "insert word of choice" if you know what I mean.

The good news is my knees feel better today. emoticon Can't quite figure out though what I did to my back to make it hurt. I don't remember wrestling with my grandson the other day. emoticon Speaking of the little guy, we had an awesome time together on Tuesday. DH and I got in a lot of walking too during our full day which I very much needed. Hummm perhaps that is the cause. Too much exercise in one day when I haven't been as consistent as I have needed to be the last couple of months. Than again, I have been having off & on lower backaches for a while now especially in the mornings. So it could also be my bed. It's way beyond time for a new mattress and box spring. I have known this for awhile but keep putting it off to get other things done around the house. Hence, my very loooooong to-do list. All the other mattress sets in the house have been exchanged for new ones except the master. So perhaps this is a sign that it's time for me to stop procrastinating and buy a new one. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOSTLIME 3/8/2013 9:23AM

    I like to think that I am not getting any older but that just is not the case. I have aches and pains in places I didn't know I had. But I know that I have to keep going on even if it is something small.

The new bed will make a difference for your back. I had the same problem
a couple of years ago. It helped me. I hope that your backpain goes away.
Have a great weekend.

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LINDA! 3/7/2013 8:40PM

    It seems that there is a bit of a struggle for us as we get older. One pain or another. I hope that you do find something to relieve your pain. Sounds like a lot of fun with the grandson. emoticon

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LKWQUILTER 3/7/2013 2:27PM

    Sallie we got new mattress this past summer and that was the best thing we have done in a long, long time. I didn't realize that my mattress could cause so much pain in my hips, knees, back, etc. I sure haven't got younger but those body parts sure feel better. lol

Glad ya'll had such a good time with the little guy. Have a great day.

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PYNETREE 3/7/2013 10:42AM

    Getting old is not for Sissy's...that is for sure!

I, like you said, seem to have a new pain, or ache, every other day!

But growing OLD, emoticon sure beats the other option!

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BBORDEN86 3/7/2013 10:19AM

    Sorry to hear your back is giving you troubles! Hopefully you are able to get a new mattress soon! I'll be in the market for one, as soon as my car is paid off. One thing at a time!!! :)

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MARYGOLD5 3/7/2013 10:18AM

    I keep trying to tell myself that I'm not getting that old, but my body aches and pains tell me otherwise. It is good to be able to keep on going though. I'm sure a new mattress would make a big difference in the back. Good luck. emoticon

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CATLADY52 3/7/2013 9:37AM

    A new mattress can do wonders for the body, not to mention the psychological lift. emoticon emoticon

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Full Steam Ahead

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

We have haircuts scheduled for the hubby and me this morning than we are off to to pick up some home improvement items. We finally got our new storm door installed. It looks very nice. So now it's on to other stuff. We have such a list. Anyway after Lowes, DH and I will do a little birthday shopping for our grandson. He turns 6 in less than 3 weeks. WOW! Seems like just yesterday he was the size of a PEANUT on his mommy's first ultrasound. Time sure does pass by. I enjoy my grandson with each and every new year as well as all his new discoveries but at the same time I miss all the yesterdays. Childhood is so very fleeting sometimes it's bittersweet.

Moving on, DH and I will than stop for lunch somewhere. This afternoon we get the pleasure of picking up the grandson from school. Since it's such a rainy day we plan to take him to Barnes & Noble for a little while (his favorite indoor play place is closed today). He can do his homework there, check out some of the new books available and play with the Thomas display. After we will go to the movies and dinner before taking him home. Escape from Planet Earth 3D is on the agenda! It has been a few weeks since we have had the little guy all to ourselves so DH and I are really looking forward to it.

Wishing everyone a fabulous day. Make it the best one yet Sparkies!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BBORDEN86 3/6/2013 11:30AM

    Sounds like a good day!!! Glad you got to spend time with your grandson. :) I know that always puts you in a good mood.

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BRENDABUNNY 3/5/2013 5:13PM

    Sounds like a great day planned have a wonderful time emoticon

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KATRINAKAT23 3/5/2013 1:17PM

  Sounds like a lovely day. Can I come? hahha

All kids need grandparents like you and hubby. emoticon

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RURAL3 3/5/2013 11:04AM

    Enjoy yourself. We are getting 10 inches o snow today. emoticon

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LKWQUILTER 3/5/2013 9:58AM

    You have a great day planned for today. Have fun with the little guy. ((HUGS))

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CATLADY52 3/5/2013 9:53AM

    Sounds as if you will enjoy the day as much as your grandson will. Have fun with the little guy! emoticon

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LIFE-FAITH 3/5/2013 9:30AM

    emoticon Sounds like fun! I hope you have a blessed a day with your hubby and grandson.

God Bless you!
Jean

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NEW Scale

Monday, March 04, 2013

In all my years of trying to lose weight whether successfully or not, I have found that BRAND NEW SCALES can be infuriating to say the least. In my opinion they are only out done by doctor scales.

My old emoticon I learned this weekend no longer works, kicking the bucket for no apparent reason. I weighed in on Friday, just a few days after beginning some new changes to my weight loss plan and according to my scale I hadn't dropped an ounce. I tried again Saturday and the scale weren't even turn on. I replaced the batteries with new ones and still nothing. DH even opened the back to see if he could find out what the issue was. Still all we got for our efforts was a blank screen which when you are trying to lose weight can be very frustrating. emoticon

So I went out yesterday and bought a new scale. After doing some research and searching high and low at three different stores for just the right one as I am very particular when it comes to a scale, I found one I liked. A real top of the line beauty! emoticon

I decided to weigh myself this morning, actually changing my weigh in day once again to Mondays because it lines up much better with the Mini Challenges I have recently set up for myself. Anyway I happily got on the scale thinking just maybe I had dropped something for the week after all but unfortunately that would NOT be the case. Suddenly my happy go lucky attitude changed and definitely not for the better. Shockingly the number that stared back at me big and bold was not at all what I expected from my shiny new scale.

240 lbs!!!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon A whole 10 pound difference from my old scale and a number that is not going in the direction I am use to either. After a few moments of utter terror I collected myself somewhat and tried to find a reason for the change. I made sure the scale was on a solid level surface. I checked and changed the batteries. I even read the instructions... TWICE. And than I did what I normally do when I need to see if something mechanical is truly broken, I dragged my husband into the bathroom for a second opinion, a test drive of sorts. Believe me when I say he wasn't at all happy either when he found out he was 10 lbs more than his last weigh in, and NOW over 200 lbs. 208 to be exact!

After the two of us stood there a few minutes, looking rather pathetic I did the only thing I knew to do. NO!!! I didn't throw the thing out the window. Although I was thinking about it. Instead I went to the kitchen and got a 10 lb bag of sugar. We keep a lot of these around as DH is a sugar addict. The only man I know that has coffee with his sugar in the morning. emoticon Nevertheless I placed the bag on the scale and waited...

After a moment the number 10 clear as day stared right back at me. UGH!!! My heart sank. Yet not to be out done by a scale I than asked DH to get one of his weights from his gym set downstairs. He begrudgingly agreed and moments later came back with a 20 lb weight. He placed it on the scale and low and behold the number 20 lit up before us. Now I have to say it took me awhile to realize at this point I had only two outcomes to choose from. Either I go out and exchange this scale for another one, chancing the same thing happening OR accept the reality as is and move on. "sigh" Since I do not feel much like having an all out war with multiple scales today I have decided to go with option #2 and accept this new number. Although not without first saying how much I HATE NEW SCALES!!! Actually right now, I am not liking weigh in days much either! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MONTHONY 3/6/2013 9:03PM

    I feel bad for you. I would be so frustrated, too, and I'm sure that I would have wanted to throw it out the window. emoticon
I was thinking of buying a new scale, but after reading about what you have gone through, I think I'll just go with the old ones. Every day when I get on my digital scale it shows the same weight, not up or down. On the weekend I give it a shake because I realize that there is something wrong, then I get a new reading and it is always showing a loss. I would really like an accurate reading every day. I have an old analog scale which seems to match up to my actual weight loss. The problem is the markings are so tiny that it's hard to read.
We just need to realize we are living healthier, and no matter what the scales might show at times, we are going to reach our goals. emoticon

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MTPOETNH 3/4/2013 9:37PM

    We all have "love /hate relationships" with our scales ...you exhibited a lot of self control by not throwing it out the window !!! emoticon It has got to be discouraging for you... emoticon now you have a new number and a new scale so your next weeks wgt will have more validity. Time to pick up and move on .... emoticon

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LINDA! 3/4/2013 9:02PM

    Yes, I do find scales vary. But a 10 pound difference would also make me XZ&@ mad!!! emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/4/2013 9:02:34 PM

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LKWQUILTER 3/4/2013 2:10PM

    I know my scale is not accurate all the time as I have weighed before TOPS and then weighed as soon as I got to the meeting and the number will be either + or - what I weighed at home. Now, I just accept what TOPS scale says. lol I will weigh once in a while at home but not much. When you get on and it says x then get off and on again and it says y--something ain't right. lol Just keep on doing what you are doing Sallie. You know you are doing good as your energy level is up and clothes aren't as tight. You will--no WE WILL WIN THIS BATTLE!!!! (((HUGS)))

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CRAFTINWIFE 3/4/2013 1:32PM

    I had the same thing last year when we finally got a new scale. 15lb difference! You'll get through this, just remember the work you've done is still there and really the scale is only one tool in our efforts.

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 3/4/2013 12:59PM

    Oh, no... that's sucks! I'm so sorry. That happened to me too when I got a new scale. I guess it's better to know right?!? I had to say though, the comment about your husbands "coffee with his sugar" comment, had me rilling. MY husband is the exact same way! About 1/4 cup or sugar to what ever coffee will fit in the cup, lol!

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SFENNER 3/4/2013 9:41AM

    we all go through this when we buy or try a different scale.

As dieters we base a lot on what a machine says. Today my scales said exactly what it did last week.

I know my clothes fit better. I got into pants I bought new and have not worn because they did not fit.

Base your life on results and appearances, not a number on a machine.

Keep on Trackin.

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SABLENESS 3/4/2013 9:36AM

    The difference between home scales and the pumped up ones in the doctor's office is SO discouraging. I'm going by my own. Whether it matches the doctor's scale or not, it still tells me whether I'm losing, gaining, or maintaining. emoticon

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In Need Of Inspiration... Read On!

Sunday, March 03, 2013

I have lost 110 lbs so far. I have more to get rid of but have found myself struggling with effort and motivation the past two months. My weight loss has slowed considerably and my personal life and health situation are equally depressing. Recently I have made some changes and have begun some mini challenges that I hope will kick start me once again into a more productive direction.

This morning I came across a story that made me stand up and take notice. The woman in it truly inspires me to keep up my efforts no matter how depressing life seems to be right now or how slowly the remaining pounds leave my body. She gives me HOPE!! At one time she was 250 lbs and on 25 medications. She had a host of very serious illnesses including ones of the heart and kidneys. Now she no longer takes any medication. Here is her AMAZING story. Let her inspire you too!

Name: Betty Lou Sweeney
Age: 73
Height: 5'6"
Before Weight: 250 pounds

How I Gained It: I had been on diets my whole life. I'd lose weight, and then gain it back, plus more. It had become a vicious cycle for me. I must have tried every diet out there, and they all worked, but slowly the pounds returned. I just couldn't keep the weight off.

I was an unhappy child due to being raised in more than 12 different foster homes and living in and out of the orphanage many times. I wasn't adopted until I was 15 years old. In that time, I had been abused many times. My friends were animals and food.

As an adult, I loved sweets and fast food. I would consume six donuts or rolls on the way home from work, just an hour's drive. I ate ice cream bars, lots of fried chicken, fish and chops, with all the trimmings. My potatoes were heavy with butter.

I never felt attractive and was told so often what a loser I was that I believed it. I never liked myself, except for those times when I had gotten down to a size 10 or 12. I could never maintain it, so it did nothing for my self-esteem.

Breaking Point: In May 2009 at age 69, I got another bladder infection, but this time the infection went to the sac that surrounds the heart. In treating that infection, I reacted to the medication and my kidneys shut down. I put on 30 pounds of water weight overnight and was having a very hard time breathing. I became septic and my temperature soared to 106. At first, I reacted to every medicine and got sicker and sicker. Finally a medication kicked in, and I started to get better. My doctors told my husband that they almost lost me. I felt my family deserved better than this.

How I Lost It: I am a registered nurse, so I asked one of the dietitians at work to give me an eating plan they would give to a newly-diagnosed diabetic who needed to lose weight. I wasn't diabetic yet, but knew I needed to keep my blood sugars stable. On that day, I changed the foods I ate, the way I cooked them and my portion sizes. I got down to about 210 pounds when an Anytime Fitness center opened near my home. I joined, and over the next couple of months I got down to 200 pounds. The weight was coming off so slowly, so I engaged the help of a trainer. When we started, I couldn't get up from a chair to a standing position on my own. Everything hurt from my arthritic joints. Dave, my trainer, was very patient and encouraging as he slowly helped me get better.

Today I am able to do a pull-up (never could do those, even as a child!), 20 push-ups and sit-ups. I have run many 5K races and two half-marathons. I set a Guinness World Record for the longest time in an abdominal plank in 2011 at age 71. Shortly after, a man broke my record, but I believe I still hold it for women. I feel younger than I have in years. I have pushed through several injuries, including a dislocated shoulder, a fractured left hand, a pulled calf and, most recently, a torn hamstring.

Now, I eat raw vegetables, fresh fruit, yogurt and protein powder to help me get enough protein in to sustain my workouts. I eat chicken breasts with no skin, fish or very lean pork. All meats are either baked, broiled or fixed in a hot air oven where all the fats drip away. I never eat sweets these days because when I did I found I craved them for almost a month. It wasn't worth the scare it put into me. I don't miss them and can be at a party and not even feel tempted anymore. I have learned to love the taste of the food itself without all the crap I used to put on top. I have more energy, I'm not sluggish anymore and I now like myself, which is something I never did for 69 of my 73 years. My self-esteem has soared. I can now talk in front of a group and be at ease, as I feel I have a story to tell that could save someone else's life. I have never been happier in my life. My trainer is like a grandson to me, I love him so much. At this point who knows where my life will take me!

After Weight: 135 pounds

















IT'S NEVER TOO LATE! WE all need to FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT for what we want and NEVER EVER GIVE UP!! This woman is living, breathing proof IT CAN BE DONE, regardless of age, and/or condition!! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHYSLIM2 3/6/2013 11:53AM

    Thanks for sharing that, Sallie! Wow - you're right, what an inspiration she is! It really underlined for me that it has to be a lifestyle change we pursue, as anything less is cheating OURSELVES.
I just want to say that since I have "known" you Sallie, I have seen you make so much progress. It is sometimes hard to see it from the inside of the experience, so as an outer reflection back to you, I just wanted to be sure to mention that today. I have no doubt that you too, like Betty Lou, can transform your health and achieve all your goals!
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So we will carry on... making the best choices we can today and each day as we journey to a better US!! Thanks for being part of my journey, Sallie, and keep on sparkin'!
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HOTPINKCAMARO49 3/4/2013 12:59AM

  Love your Blog! You are such an inspiration! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BRENDABUNNY 3/3/2013 11:00PM

    emoticon she is surely inspiring

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CATLADY52 3/3/2013 12:24PM

    Truly an amazing story. One that I'm sure many will take to heart and do their very best to make it theirs too. emoticon emoticon

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CAMAEL100 3/3/2013 9:22AM

    Amazing story!

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JULIAMOONCHILD 3/3/2013 9:09AM

    Great Bog and thanks so much for sharing her story with us!

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MUFFINSKI 3/3/2013 8:51AM

    That totally rocks! I love it!
emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 3/3/2013 8:44AM

    WOW!!! Thank you so much for sharing this!

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LKWQUILTER 3/3/2013 8:29AM

    Thanks Sallie. YES WE CAN DO IT!!!!!!

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CAPECODLIGHT 3/3/2013 7:41AM

    Thank you so much for bringing this to your blog! Fortunately, most of us haven't had such a drastic, acute medical condition in our lives, as Betty Lou did; but those of us that are over 50 usually have a medical condition looming or here already (in my case Type 2 diabetes) and medications we want to reduce or get off of. By the same token we can get down about being able to live healthily and wonder if we have what it takes to do it because we have "failed" so many times before. We start reinforcing the negative things we believe about ourselves, and voila!, we run off the rails. We need stories like Betty Lou's to help us realize, we shouldn't believe our own negative self-talk or that which we may get from others, that we CAN DO THIS, that healthy is within our grasp if we will just keep reaching for it. I don't know if I will ever run a half-marathon, like BL; but I can make the changes to be healthy again. Thanks for the inspiration!

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BLUENOSE63 3/3/2013 7:32AM

  You just need to look at your pictures....that should be tons of motivation but perhaps it is time to switch up the exercise routine....join a class to get exercise through a hobby etc.

Soon it will be nice outside and things will look different.



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SAILING2GOAL 3/3/2013 7:24AM

    This is an AMAZING story! Thanks for sharing! emoticon

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HANDYV 3/3/2013 7:20AM

    AMAZING. Congrats on your very successful journey. emoticon

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HAPPYMENOW58 3/3/2013 6:45AM

    Awesome, uplifting, Aplus!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for sharing this utterly perfect blog!!!!! emoticon emoticon

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