Sunday, March 10, 2013
There is nothing like feeling completely left out to ruin one's mood. I seriously feel like a third wheel. I am both angry and depressed. Earlier in the week DH asked me to look up some concert information that involves some of our favorite music groups. He didn't mention ME going at the time but I thought he was just waiting until I told him the information. I checked out the concert info on line and relayed it to him the next day. He was all excited yet still made no mention of the "two of us" attending. Two days later our daughter called to tell us the details for our grandson's birthday party that is set to happen later this month. After we talked for awhile DH shouts out from the other room, "Hey, ask her if she wants to go to the concert with ME?". He still had yet to ask if I wanted to go so it is fair to say I immediately felt like I had been tossed to the curb. Nevertheless I conveyed the invitation to our daughter and she responded by saying that she, her boyfriend Dan and her BF were already planning to attend but "if dad wants to go too, they can all go together. The two of them than set out to plan the details such as when to buy tickets, where to sit, etc with ME being the go-between on the phone. I know I was subjecting myself to further heartache but I figure I was way too upset at that point to think logically and hand the phone to him to do his own dirty work so I just played along. After the call however I did let out my feelings on the matter and asked him why is it that the two of them always include each other on plans, have no problem doing so right in front of me but never once try and include me. Whether its concerts, football games, other activities, joining a team, and/ or even going on particular trips, the invitations never extend to ME. Even if I were to say no to an invitation of theirs, it would be nice to be asked but I never am. DH responded to my statement by saying he thought I would say something, thought I wouldn't want to go, thought I didn't like the groups playing (when he knows full well I do), than changed those excuses to he thought I would want to stay home to watch our grandson instead. There were two things I noticed right away about his excuses; he had many reasons why he didn't asked me to go and they all placed ME as the responsible party.
Needless to say we didn't talk much the rest of that day nor the next day. I eventually accepted however that it is what it is and reminded myself that I will never change how the two of them feel about me nor their hurtful ways. Yesterday our daughter called back up and asked me to get on the computer and check out the concerts seats she just bought for herself, her dad, Dan and her BF. "insert physical discomfort" She than hits me with her son will be going with them as well. My grandson's very first concert! Train (they sing one of my grandson's favorite songs Hey Soul Sister), The Script and solo artist Gavin Degraw will be playing. I immediately realized that I am the only one NOT GOING, I will miss sharing with my grandson his first concert experience and my husband and daughter will be having a great time together as usual and I will be once again left out. Neither one of them even bothered to ask what I would be doing while they are 3 hours away having fun? No surprise there for they already know the answer - no car (with my vision couldn't drive one anyway), no cab nor bus availabe and no friends nearby means NOTHING! That physical discomfort I mentioned just a minute ago, oh yeah, that was my heart breaking... again. Like I said earlier there is nothing like feeling completely left out to ruin one's mood!
Monday, March 04, 2013
In all my years of trying to lose weight whether successfully or not, I have found that BRAND NEW SCALES can be infuriating to say the least. In my opinion they are only out done by doctor scales.
My old I learned this weekend no longer works, kicking the bucket for no apparent reason. I weighed in on Friday, just a few days after beginning some new changes to my weight loss plan and according to my scale I hadn't dropped an ounce. I tried again Saturday and the scale weren't even turn on. I replaced the batteries with new ones and still nothing. DH even opened the back to see if he could find out what the issue was. Still all we got for our efforts was a blank screen which when you are trying to lose weight can be very frustrating.
So I went out yesterday and bought a new scale. After doing some research and searching high and low at three different stores for just the right one as I am very particular when it comes to a scale, I found one I liked. A real top of the line beauty!
I decided to weigh myself this morning, actually changing my weigh in day once again to Mondays because it lines up much better with the Mini Challenges I have recently set up for myself. Anyway I happily got on the scale thinking just maybe I had dropped something for the week after all but unfortunately that would NOT be the case. Suddenly my happy go lucky attitude changed and definitely not for the better. Shockingly the number that stared back at me big and bold was not at all what I expected from my shiny new scale.
240 lbs!!!!!!! A whole 10 pound difference from my old scale and a number that is not going in the direction I am use to either. After a few moments of utter terror I collected myself somewhat and tried to find a reason for the change. I made sure the scale was on a solid level surface. I checked and changed the batteries. I even read the instructions... TWICE. And than I did what I normally do when I need to see if something mechanical is truly broken, I dragged my husband into the bathroom for a second opinion, a test drive of sorts. Believe me when I say he wasn't at all happy either when he found out he was 10 lbs more than his last weigh in, and NOW over 200 lbs. 208 to be exact!
After the two of us stood there a few minutes, looking rather pathetic I did the only thing I knew to do. NO!!! I didn't throw the thing out the window. Although I was thinking about it. Instead I went to the kitchen and got a 10 lb bag of sugar. We keep a lot of these around as DH is a sugar addict. The only man I know that has coffee with his sugar in the morning. Nevertheless I placed the bag on the scale and waited...
After a moment the number 10 clear as day stared right back at me. UGH!!! My heart sank. Yet not to be out done by a scale I than asked DH to get one of his weights from his gym set downstairs. He begrudgingly agreed and moments later came back with a 20 lb weight. He placed it on the scale and low and behold the number 20 lit up before us. Now I have to say it took me awhile to realize at this point I had only two outcomes to choose from. Either I go out and exchange this scale for another one, chancing the same thing happening OR accept the reality as is and move on. "sigh" Since I do not feel much like having an all out war with multiple scales today I have decided to go with option #2 and accept this new number. Although not without first saying how much I HATE NEW SCALES!!! Actually right now, I am not liking weigh in days much either!
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