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An Awesome Time

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Plans with the grandson were not cancelled this week as I originally felt they would be because it worked in the daughter's favor that her son was otherwise engaged. She has mid-terms this week!

DH and I picked up the little guy Tuesday after school and returned him to his mom yesterday at 6 pm. In the meantime we had FUN! Tuesday we went shopping for Valentine's Day as well as for his cousin's birthday gifts, stopped by Lowes to order a storm door for the front and dishwasher (first of many home upgrades in which our grandson has promoted himself to the position of CEO of Renovations emoticon), dinner, Basketball practice, than home to watch Frankenweenie with milk and cookies, and play with his toys before bath and bed. Yesterday after a favorite breakfast of his consisting of chocolate chip pancakes, cheesy eggs and fresh strawberries we watched cartoons, enjoyed more playtime, as well as a rousing game of chase with our dog Cinnamon. We than took our little Valentine to the Health Adventure for 5 hours (it's a BIG place) and to Red Lobster for an early Valentine's dinner. We picked him up a large box of chocolates for him to give his mom. As for us we gave our daughter a card and $50 to which of course she thanked her dad.

Tomorrow we are picking up the grandson again after school and taking him to a play date at the park with his friend Lucas and afterwards to dinner. Right now, I am seriously appreciating mid terms! emoticon


Happy Valentine's Day everyone! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHYSLIM2 2/15/2013 4:14AM

    Good timing, mid-terms!
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Now THAT sounds like an awesome way to celebrate Valentines Day!
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RURAL3 2/14/2013 10:20PM

    Glad it all worked out for you. Happy Valentine's Day emoticon

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CRAFTINWIFE 2/14/2013 8:41PM

    emoticon Happy Valentine's Day!

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CAPECODLIGHT 2/14/2013 10:53AM

    Would you like a 61 year old granddaughter? :0)

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LINDA! 2/14/2013 9:30AM

    What a perfect time with your grandson. emoticon

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MNABOY 2/14/2013 9:11AM

    I'm available for adoption!

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IOEINC 2/14/2013 8:53AM

    emoticon for mid-terms!! What a wonderful time you all had!!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

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LKWQUILTER 2/14/2013 7:37AM

    So know what you mean--mid-terms are wonderful for you and little guy. lol So glad it was such a good time for all, and even more time today. Have a great Valentine's Day Sallie. ((HUGS))

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Okay So I Let It Out, Now what? (Vent)

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Unpacking the baggage, the emotional baggage that is, before hopping into bed in hopes I will be able to sleep at some point tonight. Even though I know alreadyt that is not likely.

My daughter called at 10 pm tonight. She said she was frustrated about the people at work. Some of the employees it seems are behaving badly towards everyone including her, over little mishaps and a new boss is due to come in soon. She said all the stress at work is not worth the $200 a month she makes for weekend-only hours while she is in college. She has held a full time job since she was 16 (now 26) and has been with Chili’s for 3+ years. She cut to part-time this past October. She now says she wants to quit outright! I told her that I am sorry she is having a tough time of it at work and I can understand why she feels irritated. She responded with, “Well, if you want to, you and daddy can help out by giving me the $200 a month I make presently at Chili’s. until next January when I can apply for PT CNA work while I’m in Nursing School so I don’t have to work until then.” “Oh, so that is why you called?” I said to her. I knew she wanted something. She replied, “Well, you don’t have to but it certainly would help. Daniel (the boyfriend) is paying for everything else and this way I can concentrate more on school and won’t have to hassle with the stress at work." Presently she is on the Dean's List. I told her that I would discuss it with her dad but won’t promise anything. I also told her that if her dad agreed to do it, the family vacation in August (something DH and she cooked up within the last month) would be off. She than says, “Well we could still go for a weekend trip in August than next summer we could go on a bigger vacation as a graduation gift (for her of course). I mean after all Mom, $200 a month isn’t a big deal. It’s just my monthly cell and gym bill and some gas that you would be paying for." I replied, “WOW, so you want your dad and I to give you $200 a month for a year so you don’t have to work at all while in college, take you, Daniel and our grandson on a weekend getaway this summer as well as a take all of you on a LARGER vacation next year?” Believe me when I say, all I heard from her was… SHE WANTS! And there is nothing new about that. So I said, “hummm, where does this leave you and me?” “What do you mean?” she asked. To which I said, “Sweetheart, I have to be honest and say I, for one am not agreeable to your requests with things the way they presently stand between you and me. That would just be foolish! I am not sure about your dad but the way I see it is you would be getting all the perks in this deal as usual while I, your mom continues to be disrespected and treated badly by you. Not a fair arrangement if you ask me. It's just history repeating itself.

*End of Miss Nice!

She became quite upset and said that she and I were talking all nice and having a good conversation until I had to go and spoil it by bringing up our relationship. She said she has no plans to change anything between her and I. That I need to understand that this is the way it is and there is no point in going over anything. Everything that happens between her and I is my fault, not hers and I must come to understand that. She doesn’t need to do anything different with me from what she is doing now. She has her opinion of me and I am not someone she cares for. She is who she is and her feelings towards me are not about to change. She then hung up.

Well … that is the calmer version of the conversation, omitting of course the many insults and nasty names flung head on in my direction. She added that she knows now I won’t help her out so she guesses “she will just have to continue to work on the weekends because I will refuse to support her. She also doesn’t expect me to truly understand how hard she has it since I don’t have a “real life” of my own anyway. It’s funny how this all becomes my fault yet again and how only she has a life therefore what would I know of stress and hardship. emoticon I fully expect at this point for her to cancel the plans this week that DH and I have with our grandson, a sleepover at our place Tuesday, and The Health Adventure and dinner on Wednesday. After all it is what she does best. I guess we will see come Tuesday.

For now I'll try to get some sleep. It's only 4 am after all! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FIRECOM 2/18/2013 10:48AM

    Some real good advice here. My relationship with one of our 5 sons is rocky and I have taken the position that it is up to him to decide how he wants to progress. I cant afford the angst that comes with worry.

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CAPECODLIGHT 2/11/2013 2:52PM

    She is 26 - more than time to grow up. She needs to live within her means and not look for a bail-out by guilt tripping her parents. What she needs the money for is laughable.
She should realize that her past behavior has done nothing to show she is deserving of financial help from her parents. You reap what you sow.
If your husband wants to cave and give her money, it's like giving a biscuit to a dog that just bit you. Talk about reinforcing bad behavior!

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RURAL3 2/10/2013 9:35PM

    I am proud of you for expressing your opinion. I am sure that if you decided to support her she would again go back to treating you badly. She was just so nice when she wanted something. When questioned she had no intention at all of being changed for any length of time except to get what she wanted.
She needs to learn to grow up. She is now getting some of that not so nice treatment at work. Hmmmm similar to how she treats you???? Probably much nicer though. She is an adult and she needs to start acting like one. Responsibility is part of the plan. I guess Dan didn't want to support her fully either. Many hugs to you Sallie. You sure need them. I think your tank is empty. You are loved.

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LKWQUILTER 2/10/2013 8:32PM

    I agree with some of the others--leave her alone and let her keep working. I know that will probably mean less time with the little guy but maybe it would wake her up. I do know that when we closed the pocketbook toward our older daughter, her attitude did change. Also, younger dd did the same thing--only when she needed us to keep her girls were they allowed to come. I finally told her "NO" a couple of times when it was just what she wanted and not us, that her attitude really changed and she would let the girls come when we asked for them. They did live 4 hrs away and we had to go get them or meet them more than half-way but we did get them.

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CATLADY52 2/10/2013 6:57PM

    I have a feeling that what she wants and what she gets are two different things. I'd say thats just the way the cookie crumbles at this time and have fun with it now, Then the ball is in her court. Children who have had everything they want are hard to get to grow up.

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KASEYCOFF 2/10/2013 5:45PM

    emoticon

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LLAY10 2/10/2013 2:50PM

    I can't even imagine the pain this situation with your daughter must cause you. If it was me I would have to lovingly tell her she's on her own. Gym memberships and cell phones are not a life necessity. She can get herself a phone for emergencies (Obama phone) and walk around the neighborhood for exercise. Or if she chooses to hang on to those things then allow her to keep working. She's obviously using emotional manipulation to get what she wants. I'm so sorry this is happening.

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DGFOWLER 2/10/2013 10:28AM

    Oh how my heart goes out to you, if I could I reach in their and give you a hug. You surely deserve that if not more. I'm with these guys. If she were my daughter I'd simply say welcome to the real world of being an adult. Once our children reach adult age, we no longer 'owe' them anything. That is what their upbringing should have accomplished. Young adults that no the difference between getting everything handed to them and being responsible enough to earn it themselves. It does sound like she's grasping at straws and that she has after all been working since she was 16, but why do you need to give her $200? Sounds like there has to be other jobs. Why doesn't she say something to management about the way she/co-workers are being treated? That would be the adult thing to do.

Whatever you and your husband decide remember you mean something in this equation too. Have you tried counseling for the two of you to work out these differences?

I wish you the best of luck...

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IOEINC 2/10/2013 8:55AM

    If she was my daughter I would just let her work and see how it feels to be in the real world. In the real world people work for what they want and are grateful to people who help them out. I don't know what made your daughter feel the way she does but knowing you I believe these are her issues and not yours. You have gone to great lengths to accomodate your daughter without much movement on her part. I have to agree with Teresa262 but working on your relationship only works if both of you are willing participants and it looks like your daughter is not willing to participate. SOmeday she may wake up and realize what a wonderful mother she has in you. In the meantime work at not letting her get to you. Words hurt but they are only words. Realize that it is her problem and not yours. I think you handled the situation correctly. Your daughter needs to grow up and learn to be grateful to people who help her and not be disrespectful or hurting. A vicious cycle I am sure but you can protect yourself by not allowing her to disrespect you. My friend had much the same problem with her daughter, her only child and much the same age as your daughter. Her daughter was living at home while unemployed and was verbally abusive to my friend who finally told her to get out and find someplace else to live. My friend packed up her daughter's clothes and her daughter left for a few days but came back because she ran out of friends who would let her stay without paying. WHile their relationship is still rocky, her daughter is complying with the rule of "as long as you live in my house, you will be respectful of all who live here." That may not work in your situation since your daughter does not live with you. I can't really tell you how to handle the situation with your daughter. Only you can figure that out. ANd it is a shame that she holds your grandson as a hostage in this mother daughter relationship. But from what you wrote in your blog, I think you right in telling her what you did. Your daughter really needs to learn what a wonderful mother she has in you.

emoticon and lots and lots of them!!

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PYNETREE 2/10/2013 8:28AM

    Oh, the stress never ends, for you in this relationship. And it sure can't be helping your quest to sleep better, eat healthier and live happily and healthier.

I hope she will let your grandson come over this week as planned. He is the innocent one ...who is learning how to act towards his Mom tomorrow, by watching her interactions with her Parents today emoticon .

Wish you Peace!



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TERESA6262 2/10/2013 7:58AM

    Maybe she doesn't REALLY need that $200? Seriously? Maybe she should give up the cell phone and the gym? Maybe getting rid of all that terrible stress will be worth having no cell or gym membership? I'm thinking she has a lot of "guts" to call and ask you to relieve her of earning and paying her own way. If she wants those luxuries enough, she'll work to earn them. I am not against helping one's child.... but sometimes, helping them too much HURTS them in the long run. Nobody gets "something for nothing" in this old world. There's obviously more going on in your relationship than support of $200 per month. A mother daughter relationship is SO worth working out. I hope you two are able to do that. It the mean times...HUGS to you.

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Valentine Treats For Grandson's Class (Pic)

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

I finished the robots for my grandson to give out to his teachers and classmates at Friday's Valentine's Party. All 30 of them! Each one consist of 1 juice box, 1 pipe cleaner, pair of squiggly eyes, 1 box Nerds, 2 Starbursts and 1 chocolate heart. Only issue that popped up was they are suppose to have feet but unfortunately I could not attach them to the bottom of the juice boxes. I think the surface was the problem. The directions suggested additional Starburst candies for these but they didn't work. So I tried different varieties of candy as well as 5 different types of glue (tacky, super, hot, gorilla, and elmer's paste). I even tried clear packing tape. No luck! They just wouldn't stick so I made the executive decision to forgo feet and make them "special". emoticon I hope my grandson and the kids like them. The grandson is giving out V-day cards as well. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LLAY10 2/10/2013 2:52PM

    Super cute! The kids are going to love them!

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TARAFROMTX1 2/8/2013 4:54PM

    super cute!!!!!

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SABLENESS 2/8/2013 12:09PM

    Totally cute! emoticon

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HEALTHYSLIM2 2/7/2013 1:52AM

    OMG - they are so adorable!!!
You are such an awesome grandma.
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Lucky grandson and lucky kids in his class!!
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BEWELL48 2/6/2013 9:17PM

    Oh so cute!He must be happy to have such a great grandmother!

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LKWQUILTER 2/6/2013 6:32PM

    They are so cute. You did good Sallie. I love executive decisions. lol

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CAPECODLIGHT 2/6/2013 5:25PM

    Very cute robots indeed!

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PMFISH 2/5/2013 9:02PM

    Your grandson will be very popular on Valentine's Day. Those are really cute.

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RURAL3 2/5/2013 8:59PM

    very cute

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CONFUZZELD 2/5/2013 7:16PM

    Those are super cute. How did you do them. My sister loves to make stuff like this for her son and I'd love to show her.

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BRENDABUNNY 2/5/2013 6:06PM

    So cute love it! emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/5/2013 6:06:17 PM

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IOEINC 2/5/2013 5:15PM

    Sallie you are so creative. The kids will love them!! They are just so darn cute!!!



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SEATTLE58 2/5/2013 5:07PM

    Wow, so cute and what a wonderful idea!!

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CHANGING-TURTLE 2/5/2013 3:51PM

    So cute!!!! emoticon

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STLADEE 2/5/2013 3:46PM

    Those are too cute! emoticon

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PJ2222 2/5/2013 3:17PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Sometimes All One Can Do Is Cry

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Tears poured from my eyes last night. Emotionally charged by days of sleep issues and a another awful day concerning the husband and daughter. Nothing what so ever was solved by crying but nonetheless it felt good to give into it. Releasing one's feelings can be a good thing if for nothing else than just letting it all out.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAPECODLIGHT 1/29/2013 12:15PM

    Sometimes tears are all we have to console ourselves. emoticon

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KENDRACARROLL 1/29/2013 11:19AM

    Sorry times are tough.
Tears are a good way to relief some stress and disappointment, so is exercise.
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RURAL3 1/29/2013 10:30AM

    I am sorry to see you in pain once again Sallie. Cry out to God. He is our source of strength and will heal the broken hearted. You are Loved.
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PYNETREE 1/29/2013 9:40AM

    Sorry, Hope that the coming days are brighter!

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LORIMAGI5 1/29/2013 9:14AM

    I really feel for you emoticon Two nights ago, I found myself alone in the house (FINALLY), and just felt so pent up and crazy with my own issues that are coming up. I picked up my journal, a tool that almost never fails to help me feel better - but I couldn't write. I was so frustrated! But then the tears came. At first, I fought them (unusual for me, nowadays), but that hurt, too! My eyes ached from the effort, so, I just let them flow...and now I feel so much better.

Your post reminded me of something I thought of years ago:

"Tears wash the pain from our hearts"

Thanks for sharing.

With Love,
Lori emoticon

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KIDDEN04 1/29/2013 8:59AM

    emoticon

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RAINBOWFALLS 1/29/2013 7:51AM

    I agree that sometimes a good cry can ease some of the pain we hold inside. Take care of yourself. emoticon

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 1/29/2013 7:43AM

    I've done nothing but cry for almost 24 hours. I can totally relate. Will pray for you & your family. emoticon emoticon

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MOTHER-NATURE 1/29/2013 7:25AM

    Let it out ... only eyes washed by tears can see clearly emoticon

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BUSYGRANNY5 1/29/2013 7:22AM

    Sometimes a good cry is just what we need to be able to carry on... I pray that the rest of your day and week get better! Blessings to you!

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LKWQUILTER 1/29/2013 7:17AM

    Hate to hear that things were so bad Sallie. Yes, tears don't really solve anything but they sure help our feelings to wash the pain away. (((HUGS))) dear friend.

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GOLFGMA 1/29/2013 6:40AM

    When troubles come have faith and rely on the Lord.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1.

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RITAROSE 1/29/2013 6:12AM

  So sorry for this difficult time in your life. emoticon

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HEALTHYSLIM2 1/29/2013 3:45AM

    sometimes a good cry is truly healing. so sorry to hear things were less than positive! hang in there!!
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FITANDFIFTY2 1/29/2013 1:32AM

    Hugs to you Spark Friend!! I agree... just letting it flow can be so therapeutic! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NYARAMULA 1/29/2013 1:25AM

    emoticon

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IOEINC 1/29/2013 1:09AM

   

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DRB13_1 1/29/2013 1:08AM

    tears can be healing...
wishing you a better week and peaceful sleep
keep the communication open and make your needs known
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GETDONE 1/29/2013 1:05AM

    SO TRUE!! emoticon emoticon

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Weigh In

Thursday, January 24, 2013

I actually weighed in yesterday and did not drop 1 pound. I dropped 2!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon It has made my week!

On the flipside however, after 2 weeks of perfect, w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l slumber, I didn't get to sleep at all last night. emoticon So I am seriously draggin like a wagon this morning. My body is super sensitive when it comes to sleep. If I so much as sleep in an extra hour or two in the AM, or take a nap during the day no matter how short, it will adversely affect me at night. I was really tired the night before last and DH thought it was a good idea to turn off my alarm and let me sleep in until 9 yesterday morning. Hence why no sleep last night. I know his intentions were good but he also knows what I go through when it comes to getting a good night's rest. It isn't pretty! One night of no sleep can mean a week or more of disrupted sleep. I have one medication that must be taken in the AM that makes me extremely sleepy when I have had no Zzzzz the night before, so chances of making it through the day without a nap are slim to none. This is where the vicious cycle of napping during the day = no sleep at night comes into play. UGH! Definitely not looking forward to today, or tonight. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SABLENESS 1/26/2013 9:51PM

    Sympathies from me, too. Sleeplessness is a huge downer. Thanks for encouragement on my blog today.

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CAPECODLIGHT 1/26/2013 11:35AM

    Wonderful job on your weight loss! I'm sorry about the sleep problems. I used to have trouble staying asleep, but for some reason (hallelujah) this has passed. Hope you can convince your husband to not let you sleep going forward.

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LINDA! 1/25/2013 1:57PM

    Way to go with the 2 lb weight loss. Sorry about your lack of sleep. I am fortunate that even if I take a nap during the day, I will still sleep at night.

Take care! emoticon

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 1/24/2013 10:48PM

    Sorry that you didn't get the sleep that you need. Congratulations on your weight loss! GOOD JOB!!!!!

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RURAL3 1/24/2013 6:12PM

    Good Job on your weight loss. emoticon I have trouble sleeping sometimes too. I have found over the counter ZZZQUIL to help me. I have tried melatonin and it worked for awhile and doesn't anymore. Oh and I find that the liquid works for me but the pills don't. Don't know why. Just a thought. But if you are on other meds always check with your doc first. emoticon

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SUTERSPACE 1/24/2013 11:39AM

    Way to go on the weight loss and the lack of sleep can be a REAL bugger. Hope you made it through the day okay!!

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GOLFGMA 1/24/2013 8:00AM

    Good job on the weight loss. I have had problems such as your with no sleep nights and know of other who go on a couple of hours sleep most every day. Hope you can find a solution to this problem. My solution was a 10 mg Melatonium tablet each night. emoticon

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ANNIE924 1/24/2013 7:55AM

    Congratulations on your loss. That is great. emoticon

I'm sorry you experience these sleep issues, it can't be fun. Here's hoping you make it through the day without a nap so that you will sleep better tonight. emoticon

Take care and have the best day possible.

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STITCHINGNAN 1/24/2013 7:31AM

    As a fellow insomniac I can sympathise , we need sleep emoticon

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WELLNESSME09 1/24/2013 7:30AM

    emoticon on the weight loss! emoticon

Disrupted sleep...wow, do I know what you mean. I have not taken a nap during the day in years because of the same reasons you mention.

Hope your day is not as bad as you expect it to be...have a great one! emoticon


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LKWQUILTER 1/24/2013 7:00AM

    emoticon emoticon

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XOBSIDIANX 1/24/2013 6:55AM

    emoticon emoticon on the weight loss.

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