CESSIEKOOZIE's Recent Blog Entries

Hmm, yet another lesson learned.

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

First let me start by saying, with all respect...... back off calorie-nazi's!!! Seriously, your comments about calorie intake has led me to doing something I knew wouldn't work because I have "been there" a hundred times before on my own and that's to eat over 1200 calories a day and as usual and I've stopped losing, actually, I've gained.

Do they not think that I would love to eat over 1200 calories? I mean come on, that's why I find it so hard to lose weight because it is so hard to stay under 1200 calories but this has been a 20 year struggle for me... we are all made differently and we all have different needs. I am hypothyroid, my thyroid levels are very low without medication and with medication they can get my levels up but not my energy and certainly doesn't affect my weight -- so, all three endocrinologist I've seen in my life have all recommend that I eat to the calorie range that I lose at and the only way to find that out is through trial and error and I've found I lose "ok" at around 1,000.

I do try to eat above 1200 thinking this time it will work for me, but it doesn't and I am tired of HOPING that it will because reality is, I am morbidly obese because I, like everyone else, want to eat over 1200 calories and I think ok, if I just stay at 1200 steady for a week, maybe I will lose, then of course I don't because that is fantasy land thinking for me!!

Then, before you know it I have given up completely because I have "failed" at 1200 calories... and am back to just eating whatever whenever because its incredibly difficult to only eat 1,000 a day, so I guess what I am really saying (albeit with a little frustration) if you feel the need to throw the same ole same ole box standard "eat over 1200 calories a day" at someone, at least care enough to ask their history and situation first, otherwise you are not "supporting" that person at all.

I don't know how these HGC people can do 500 calories a day so go bitch at them, leave me alone lmao!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETFIT2LIVE 7/5/2011 3:13PM

    The bottom line is to do what works for you and allows you to eat healthy now while developing a lifestyle that you can live with for the long haul; you're right, others don't know your history and situation. It usually backfires to restrict calories too much because most of us can't stick with it for long. I'm more interested in figuring out how to make changes to my eating and exercise that I can keep doing the rest of my life; I do not want to just lose weight, I want to KEEP it off. Good luck!

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TAZEZENCEFIL 7/5/2011 1:41PM

    I hope you don't give up altogether. I find the www.fatloser.com very helpful. I am currently on the 10th day of the videos. Take a look if you wish. emoticon

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MJRVIC2000 7/5/2011 1:13PM

    It's hard to commit to something we do not believe in. We will not want to make lifestyle changes that may produce results. We are afraid of failing. So we live and accept the status quo. We are the only one that can change that. Make the right choices and commit to it. We have nothing to lose and everything to gain. God Bless, Vic.

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    You cracked me up! I totally know where you are coming from. The whole Spark suggested calories is based on "average" which is not necessarily everybody. I know my metabolism - even with my thyroid meds - isn't as high as average. It's made worse by my job, sitting at a desk all day - even with my excellent fitness commitment that I've never had before. My pet peeve isn't specifically calorie nazis, but the concept that people feel that the same thing works for everybody. It doesn't. There are dozens of ways to skin a cat and everybody needs to do it THEIR way. Good luck to you! You know your body and will figure out your program, your way.

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UMBILICAL 7/5/2011 1:11PM

  I would give the standard answer but you already know what it is. LOL

Have fun.

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eh, the other "meal"

Sunday, July 03, 2011

They sure fill ya up, in an unpleasant way and burping fish oil - lovely but as with everything, stick with it and the benefits will outweigh the little annoyances!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETFIT2LIVE 7/5/2011 3:15PM

    I've found that taking fish oil at night before I go to bed helps--if I'm burping it up, it's when I'm asleep and doesn't bother me.

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THETURTLEBEAR 7/4/2011 11:01AM

    I have a real problem with pills. The only thing I take daily is my thyroid meds. BUT, I get supplements every morning via powder in my daily "shake" I blend with ice and fruit, and I also add in flaxseed for Omega 3 and fiber. So I definitely agree!

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GRANPATTIE 7/3/2011 1:58PM

    Yup...between my prescriptions and my supplements, I should rattle when I move. But, I've taking the supplements for over a year now, and last winter was the first time I didn't get even one cold or anything. So, as you said...I'll stick with it because I like the benefits.


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WOW I am amazed... Lesson LEARNED!!

Saturday, July 02, 2011

Ok, well I set out to make dinner pretty much based on SERVING SIZES which were marked on the labels of each product, along with half of a large chicken breast. Oh and let me tell you, I was so proud of myself (me planning a meal based on calroies and serving sizes, seriously?) and trust me, I was thinking there's no way this is going to be enough food, surely my plate was going to look like it came from some fancy french restaurant with tiny miniscule servings........ because after all there were four different items on my menu but all for only 367 calories!

Ok, so here I go with my measuring cup, the labels says a serving size is; 1/2 cup for corn, 1/2 cup for peas and new potatoes 3 servings per can, plus 6 oz of chicken breast... oh and the light alfredo sauce at only 1/4 cup per serving, I was thinking really?! What is the even the point.

So ok, I NOW KNOW WHY I AM FAT -- I was seriously amazed in my (cough late-ish) 40's to realize just exactly what a 1/2 cup of corn and peas actually look like on a plate - aka, a lot! A third of a can of new potatoes is pretty much 3 potatoes and 6 oz of chicken breast consumes the entire plate!!! Then came time to dish up the 1/4 cup of alfredo sauce still thinking that's not a lot of sauce -- but are you kidding me? A 1/4 of sauce is more than enough!

What kind of weirdo serial eater have I been all these years? Have mercy!! As I stood there spooning and spooning and spooning the alfredo sauce (that I never thought I could have on a "diet") that I didn't think was going to be enough and is now taking over my already heaping plate -- I was absolutely amazed, and all of that for only 367 calories!! (and 8 grams of fat!)

That truly is a massive amount of food but is NOTHING compare to my normal dinner say from Captain D's;
2 pieces of fish 364
fries 310
crackins 320
2 hushpuppies 200
3 tarter sauce 300
large cokoe 276
= a whopping 1406 calories

So, I shaved around 1100 calories off my typical dinner and MUCH TO MY SURPRISE, the plate of food I made tonight for only 376 calories, that I thought was going to be tiny, was actually way too much! I would be just fine eating only HALF of what was on my plate - which would save half the calories (and half the cost of food)

I've learned so much this evening just from taking the time to look at labels and realizing what a portion size looks like - before when I'd see or hear a description like "a piece of chicken is the size of a deck of cards or the palm of your hand" I'd be like "yeah right" but now I am like yeah, seriously -- right!

The fat has been peeled from my eyes and hopefully soon from the rest of me!!

Please forgive my zeal but what an awakening!! I am more thrilled with my discoveries than I am appalled at my life long ignorance but at this point all I can say to myself is, I did what I did before I knew better, but now that I know better, if I gain another pound from this moment forward, then I will be a complete idiot.

Lesson LEARNED!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TAZEZENCEFIL 7/4/2011 5:05AM

It's great that you shared this with us...

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GRANPATTIE 7/3/2011 1:43AM

    Another great blog! You've really got a handle on all this. It really is shocking the first time you experience it like you did here. You, my dear, are destined for success here!

Pattie emoticon

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    I was really excited to see your "ah ha" moment! It's all about portion control and tracking - you've got it nailed!

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ALICIAYOUNG1127 7/2/2011 6:12PM

    cool huh?

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PAISHAR2 7/2/2011 5:54PM


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sheeeew Day 2

Friday, July 01, 2011

emoticonI did well today, no cheating and I've been good about tracking what I eat, that to me is key, otherwise I would have already eaten way more than I have. Funny, I have always heard about tracking food and how those successful with weight loss kept a food journal but it is only just now sinking in to me just how important and what a crucial part of weight loss the food tracker is, at least for me because I was a mindless eater, a snacker, grazer but writing everything down shines a light on that nonsense!

Earlier today I was getting the boys a snack, and thought, hmm, I can have just one cookie (which we all know would have been 5) but this time I immediately thought "well, I'd have to go write it down and is it really worth all that?" the writing, the calories.... and that's all I needed, a barrier, something that said HEY wait a minute and once the minute was past, I no longer really wanted the cookie (oh well, sure I wanted a cookie, lets be real lol) but it gave me a moment to pause and make a conscious decision instead of the usual unconscious feeding frenzy, so Yay me!!

Unreal to be patting myself on the back for something that is so obvious, but that is the point isn't it, it is obvious that I didn't eat the cookies, and obvious that my subconscious doesn't have a diverted cookie feast to beat myself up over.

So yes, congrats to me, I am FINALLY with the program!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CESSIEKOOZIE 7/1/2011 10:43PM

    I had a little more calories today than I would have liked, I went over 1200. I am hypothyroid so I have to go lower than most to lose but I am definitely a stress eater and its been a stressful annoying day so considering... I've done well :)

Thanks ladies, I truly value your support!!

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    That is fantastic!! You have already figured out that tracking is the name of the game. If you track, you will lose. Period!

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GRANPATTIE 7/1/2011 6:25PM

    You certainly ARE with the program. I think a really important part of it is to recognize and celebrate our victories...the big ones AND the small ones.

This was another great blog. You're really on a roll! (and that's a progress roll, NOT a cinnamon roll! LOL!)

Pattie emoticon emoticon

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My first blog and the first day of my new adventure...

Thursday, June 30, 2011

emoticon Hello to those of you who may read this. I just joined Spark today. I've been heavy pretty much all my life except for a few years in my late teens when I lost weight but since then I've lost and gained and lost and gained and each time I get bigger and bigger to where I am now 254 pounds! GASP! I never thought I would or could ever be this big but here I am and reality is I've not been under 200 for many years and even that was for only a very short time.

The past two years have been a weight gain extravaganza... maybe its true that some of us are just predisposed to being overweight, have more fat cells, lower metabolism - all of which I am sure I suffer but my true problem is "I hide in fat" OUCH the truth hurts and when an ex had the gall to tell me I was "hiding in fat" I was floored but then I realized as much as I hated it, he was right, I am HIDING IN FAT -- hiding from my problems, hiding from life, hiding from relationships by drowning/comforting my sorrows, my fears and a lifetime of disappointments, with food.

Food has become my friend and my enemy and I desperately need to get my head around the fact that cutting back on food, and that eating healthy and exercise is not a punishment. It feels punishing lol but there is no doubt that I have been way too easy on myself, while also being so very hard on myself :(

I want the best life has to offer but I will never have that being as overweight as I am BECAUSE I use my weight to beat myself up and to stop myself from being happy and doing the things I want to do. I am self a sabotaging self-defeater and food is my most lethal weapon against myself. So is negative self talk and negative self perception, which is weird because I do like myself, I know I have a lot to offer, I know I am intelligent, attractive (at least not hideous lol) but somehow, someway, for some reason, I have taken the actions of a few in my life who have hurt me and I've turned that hurt inward against myself. For example, if a man I was seeing treated me bad, made me feel bad about myself, as if I wasn't good enough, attractive enough, young enough... instead of saying whatever, forget him!! (as I and everyone should) instead I started feeling and treating myself the very same way.

So I try to keep the story of the HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL etched in my mind:
I was at a sales conference when the speaker held up a brand new crisp one hundred dollar bill... he asked who wanted it, well of course we all did. Then he took it and crumpled and waded it up and asked who wanted it, still of course we all did. Then he threw it on the ground, stomped on, smashed it and twisted into the ground with his foot as hard as he could, picked the bill up, looking very worse for wear and said, who still wants it? and of course we all still wanted it. Then he screamed at it, saying it was ripped, torn and ugly... then he gently uncrumpled the bill, smoothed it out and showed it to the crowd and said... this bill, no matter what it has been through, no matter how many have stepped on it, no matter what has been said to it or about it, its value has not changed, its worth is still exactly the same... it is still worth a HUNDRED DOLLARS!!

So, no matter what has happened to me, who has rejected me, hated me, or hurt me ~ from this moment forward I refuse to allow them and myself to take away my self worth and value, I vow to never let their words or actions become my own!!

No more negative self talk, no more eating away the blues, no more hiding in fat!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETFIT2LIVE 7/1/2011 1:19AM

    Great job thinking things through and getting started in the right direction! This site has so much to offer to help you reach your goals; start now making small changes and you will be surprised how quickly they add up. You have the right attitude; you can do this!

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GRANPATTIE 6/30/2011 11:19PM

    What a great blog! You have your head on straight about this, and that speaks well for your chances of success. Just don't expect every day to be perfect. If you have a little slip, you just get back up and keep going on down the road to your goals. All the best to you!

Pattie emoticon

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THETURTLEBEAR 6/30/2011 2:13PM

    Wow - What an amazing blog, not only in general, but amazing because it's your first day, your first blog, and YOU GET IT. My starting weight was fairly close to yours, and I can tell you that this Spark thing is different than anything I've done before. I'll be Sparking for six months on July 8th and it really IS a lifestyle change. I don't feel deprived, I don't feel like I'm on a diet, and I exercise every day. Never, EVER done that before - and I love it and crave it. Thanks so much for "finding" me on your first day. The fact that you're blogging already bodes really well for your success. Blogging is the trademark of the successful ones - when you put it out there in writing, it's a commitment that becomes self-fulfilling. Take advantage of the Spark Teams too - there is a Summer 5% Challenge (private team) starting on July 16th, and I'll send you an email with the details. It's eight weeks long, and really gets you into the team spirit. There are a lot of teams and we all do the same things for eight weeks, and while we're doing it, we try to lose 5% of our weight. My current challenge ends Saturday, and my goal was 10 pounds, and I hit it earlier this week!

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BORNSOUTHERN 6/30/2011 1:40PM

    When I decided this last time to lose the fat I knew I had to change everything about myself. Like you I would drown my sorrows with food. It served as my comforter and I found that the more I ate, the more I had to eat. Instead of using food as a comforter I now use some form of exercise. Now don't get me wrong! This did not occur over one day. It took some practice and alot of talking to myself.

Now if I get stressed I either workout or begin cleaning my house. Not only do I not turn to food any more but my house is also very clean!

I also put pictures of myself at a lower weight up so that I can see those on a daily basis. This helps me to remember what I am doing this for.

You have the right attitude so you will do well. Also, the fact that you are using this site will help you tremendously. This is an awesome sight with a wealth of information and caring people to help you along the way. I wish you the best and I have faith that you can accomplish this!!

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